At The Beginning
by Fanatic4Fiction
Summary: Follows St. Berry's relationship if they had met during 'Acafellas'. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or it's characters. But I wish I did, then I would so own the sexy JGroff.**

So, it's me again. I've recently realized that my summer is practically almost over... And that I haven't got much to show for it. Only writing fanfiction and staying up as late as 4:30 a.m. It's weird because most girls get thinner or curvier and they change their hair styles. But eh, something about how the way I look right now is comfortable. Wellllllll- moving ON. I hope you enjoy this story, and this time, I plan to make it into a full length story. Read and review!

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><p>Rachel watched as the rest of the glee club tumbled with their dance moves that Mr. Schue was choreographing for them. It was awful... Down right just terrible. She could see out the corner of her eye that Quinn had given the club a one look span.<p>

Only one thing was readable: What the hell? This sucks.

Rachel couldn't help but interrupt the madness. "Uh- Could we stop please?"

Mr. Schue sighed. "You don't have to ask me every time for permission to go to the bathroom Rachel, you can just go." he said, pointing towards the door.

"It's not my bladder," she stated. Mr. Schue gave her a strange look. "It's the choreography."

"... Okay, what's wrong with the choreography?" he asked. She noticed the offended tone and bit her tongue, remembering the conversation she'd had with the cheerleaders.

"We can't compete with Vocal Adrenaline with these steps," she added. Mr. Schue nodded, even more offended. "You're a great vocal coach Mr. Schue but you're not a trained choreographer. And to be the best we need Dakota Stanley." she repeated exactly what Santana and Quinn had told her in the hall. Regardless of Rachel attempting to be more like them- she also agreed. Mr. Schuester's dance moves were so... 90s. They needed the up to date moves in order to even make a dent in Vocal Adrenaline's performance for Regionals.

And that's how they found themselves walking towards the Carmel High Auditorium.

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><p>"Are we sure that they're rehearsing today?" Quinn asked as the small group walked on. Rachel nodded enthusiastically. "Vocal Adrenaline rehearses everyday from 2 to<em> midnight.<em>" she stressed the last word and Tina's eyes widened. "I know, it's a lot." she added.

Rachel watched as Mercedes put the moves on Kurt and saw him be completely oblivious. Well, technically speaking she was being oblivious. Everyone but Mercedes thought he was gay... He _was_ gay, wasn't he?

Suddenly she saw two feminine figures by the trash can. Immediately she recognized one of the members.

"Guys, that's Andrea Cohen. She won outstanding soloist last year." she said this brightly regardless of said person puking her guts out. Stepping forward she smiled even brighter. "Are you guys Vocal Adrenaline? We'd like to talk to Dakota Stanley about choreographing for our glee club."

Both performers shook their heads fiercely. "Don't! He's a monster."

They spent 6 hours watching them dance nonstop. Six_ freaking_ hours! It was the most insane thing Rachel had ever seen. Heck, all of them watched as Vocal Adrenaline would do their number only for Mr. Stanley to shout about how imperfect it all was. But in Rachel's eyes... The performance was flawless every time. Everything except for the female lead singing.

Rachel thought that the female lead just couldn't keep up with the male lead. Every second or so the blonde would fumble a note or slow the rest of the routine down. But the male... He was flawless._ Perfect._

That's how Rachel found herself picking him out throughout the vigorous repetitions. His curly bronze hair kept bouncing every time he spun a dance move. Arrogantly, she imagined herself in place of the blonde. Rachel was positive she'd be able to keep up.

"GET OFF MY STAGE!" Dakota shouted. They watched as the members raced off stage without a hitch. The lights went off and New Directions followed the dwarf.

"Mr. Stanley, we're the McKinley High glee club!" Rachel yelled, stopping in front of his what looked like an extremely expensive car.

He shook his head. "No interviews."

"But we'd like you to choreograph for us!" Tina stuttered.

"Look," he said. "My fee is 8,000 dollars with a bonus if you place in the top three. And with Dakota Stanley, you will place at the top three." he said egotistically.

He sped off and Rachel stood there, blinking. "How are we going to get 8,000 dollars?"

Kurt sighed. "Well, we're so screwed." he checked his watch. "And it's now 12:30 a.m. My dad is going to kill me." he looked at the girls. "Anyone need a ride?"

"My dad will pick me, Brittany, and Santana up." Quinn said.

Tina and Mercedes looked at each other. "I'll drop you guys off," Kurt offered. They nodded and dispersed to his car.

"I'll walk home." Rachel said sadly. Knowing that they couldn't affford brilliance made her slightly depressed.

"Rachel, as much as you annoy me, it's 10 miles from Lima. And it's dark. You'll get raped or worse, mugged." his hands imitated pathetic spirit fingers.

"It's fine Kurt," she said, clutching her tote bag. "I'll probably take the bus or eventually call my dads. Besides, I've got a rape whistle." she said that as if it were a gun. Which it wasn't. Rachel Berry hated weapons so she always settled for a simple whistle.

And honestly, she refused to ride with Kurt, Tina, and Mercedes because she needed time to think. Time to think about how she was going to make 8,000 dollars. Time to figure out whether or not the club was worth all this fighting for. Time to think about that damn kiss with Finn in the auditorium.

So she waved goodbye as Kurt drove off and the Cheerio trio hopped inside Mr. Fabray's convertible. Sighing, she adjusted her bag and began to walk. Her eyes were so focused on the sidewalk that she bumped into a broad chest, causing her to squeal.

"Oh gosh!" she stumbled. "I'm so sorry-" she stopped as her eyes came into contact with a pair of the most beautiful blue eyes she'd ever seen.

Jesse usually wasn't this slow after rehearsals. But today... It had been so exhausting. His parents had announced their one year cruise around the East. Normally he wouldn't care but this... This was _his_ year. He wanted his parents to actually see him accomplish things.

His year... He was sure it would be the best ever. He'd win another National title, get a full ride to UCLA, and finally leave and never come back to Ohio. (Yeah, the state was that bad).

But the day was exhausting nonetheless. Dakota Stanley was just a tiny bit harsher because of the audience they had- not that they were credible audience members to begin with. Come on, they were a ragtag group of misfits who didn't stand a chance at even winning Sectionals. Truthfully, Jesse pitied them.

So as his peers waved goodbye and left the building, Jesse couldn't help but linger on a bit longer. His year.. His_ last_ year. After this, he wouldn't sit in that horrid office chair for pranking the Freshman. He wouldn't sit in the auditorium watching Ms. Corcoran school them on more theatricality. He wouldn't fall in love at all. ( A record considering most people in High School fall more than once- he'd fallen none).

No. No moping. If he moped around, it show that he even cared- that he was a softie. And hell, Jesse St. James was a lot of things but softie wasn't one of them. Jumping up from his chair and grabbing his backpack, he marched into the cold night air and walked straight into a petite body. His eyes widened and his mouth opened, ready to say any obscenities towards this idiot.

But then he saw the face of a girl whom he'd never thought possible. And as his eyes met up with her brown ones, something in his chest couldn't help but melt. It was downright scary.

"I'm so sorry." she said abruptly, blinking rapidly and quickly panicking. "I didn't scar you or anything right?"

He chuckled and gave himself a one over. "No, don't think so." she laughed and he felt something flutter inside his stomach.

_Indigestion.._ he thought pathetically.

"Are you a student here?" he asked,

Rachel mumbled, "Um, no."

He smirked as he saw her cheeks go red. "Are you getting picked up?"

She shook her head. "No... Is there a bus stop nearby?"

Jesse shook his head. " 5 miles away. Most of Akron people have their own cars. I can give you a lift home if you'd like?" he asked. He knew he was being way too generous because if this had been anyone else he would've laughed and driven off. But this girl was different. She had this certain charm...

"Oh. Well, I don't really know you so..." she trailed off, biting her lip nervously. Normally, she wouldn't mind talking to a guy but this was Jesse St. James. Lead and star of Vocal Adrenaline- the boy with three consecutive National titles. He was the best of the best... And her enemy. Her competition.

He rolled his eyes. "I think you're safe with me. Besides, I'm not going to give a rapist a chance to get to you. That wouldn't be very courteous now, would it?"

"I think you talk a good game, but the answer is still no." she answered hastily before continuing on. She walked a whole minute before he yelled after her.

"Hey!"

Rachel turned around. "Yes?"

"What's your name?"

She smiled softly before looking straight into his eyes. "Rachel Berry."

Jesse smiled. "Ms. Berry, would you do me the honor and ride with me?" he stuck out his hand in an old fashion way making her laugh. He knew he was being dorky but she was just so _stubborn. _Normally he'd ask a girl to climb into his car and they wouldn't hesitate to do so. But Rachel was a strange one.

So as he heard her laughter echo through the night, he couldn't help but reciprocate the smile. "I'd love to. Thank you for asking." she said.

"You're welcome."

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><p>Once he got a move on, one hand on the steering wheel because he thought it looked cool, he licked his lips. "So Rachel, what school do you go to?"<p>

She smiled awkwardly. "McKinley." Rachel saw him nod as if he were making this into a huge list. And the more she pondered on it, the more creepy it got. "Oh, take a left here." she instructed.

"A failed president." he joked.

Rachel smiled. 'He was one of the best."

Jesse continued, shooting questions faster than she could answer most. Finally, he got the most personal ones. "Do you sing?"

Rachel beamed. "Yes. I'm going to be on Broadway one day."

He smirked. "Is that so?"

She only nodded. "I'm in my school's show choir... Though most of the club is filled with mediocre people who don't respect my obviously superior talent."

"I'm guessing you're lead?" he saw her nod, her brunette hair bouncing up and down as she did so. "I know what that's like."

She burrowed her brows in confusion.

"About being stuck with a bunch of mediocre people as your backup. It really weighs down talent."

Rachel nodded in confirmation, turning her attention to the car window. She'd never been alone in a car with a boy... Especially if it was the _boys_ car. If her dads ever found out she'd be scolded.

"Hasn't stopped you though," Rachel added. Jesse's blue eyes lit up. "Because Vocal Adrenaline has gone to Nationals three years in a row."

"Yeah, you could say I'm their ticket to success. Which is why I've got a full ride to UCLA."

"_Wow,_"she said, impressed.

He switched his hands, letting his left steer the wheel. "I can't wait to get out of Ohio. This place is a deathtrap."

"I second that. Oh! Turn right!"

Jesse had to admit, him and this girl saw the world the _exact_ same way, with just as a dramatic and fierce theatricality.

_If I didn't have a scholarship waiting and the fact that she belongs to that rag tag team... I could seriously learn to kind of like her._

"So," she huffed, smoothing out her plaid skirt. "This is me. Stop here."

He stepped on the brake, smiling as she opened the door. "It was nice talking to you Rachel. I hope to see you advance from Sectionals."

Rachel smiled and nodded, shutting the door and practically skipping her way up the front porch. She took a deep breath before opening the door, preparing for the yelling she was sure to receive from her dads. Through the side of her eyes she watched the Range Rover drive away swiftly and couldn't help but feel a little breathless. _The_ Jesse St. James, star of Vocal Adrenaline, had just driven her home.

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><p>Sorry if there are any typos. I got this story idea one day when I kept thinking "What if?" So I figured, hey, if Rachel went to watch Vocal Adrenaline on the third episode of the first season.. How would their relationship be if they'd met WAY before Finchel even truly began? Thus "At The Beginning" was born. I hope you guys like the idea, and review if you want me to continue with this story!<p>

-Fanatic4Fiction (AKA LovelyLadyBug)


	2. Chapter 2

** Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters. **

Whoa, the text is grey... It's grey! Anyways, thank you SO MUCH for the reviews :) They make me happy and finish the chapters faster. So don't stop reviewing please! They encourage me! So, I really hope you like the second chapter. NOTE: I will go episode by episode in this story. So be patient. St. Berry will happen... I just want to build up their relationship. No worries! Spoiler?- They will have more than just that first encounter. Trust me.- Spoiler over. Be warned, there could be typos or missing words (I'm not sure why, but whenever I edit then save the documents, some words always end up missing).

Read and review! No flames please! Enjoy!

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><p>Rachel was angry and fed up. Stretching to touch her toes again, she rolled her eyes. Mr. Schue had practically <em>denied<em> her from showcasing her talents so Tina could feel good. Sure, Tina was a great singer, but for the role of a character from _West Side Story_? No. Rachel had half a mind that Tina didn't even know the character at all.

She supposed she had been a bit harsh in the morning though. Just because she hadn't got what she rightfully deserved wasn't some excuse to yell at Mr. Schuester in front of the team. But she didn't regret voicing her opinion on her territory.

_"How could you give such an iconic role as Maria to anyone else?" Rachel raised her voice, watching as the rest of the club stared offended and Mr. Schue rolling his eyes. _

_"Everyone needs a chance to shine, Rachel." he pressed. "And you're being unfair to Tina. I'm positive she'd be excited for her first solo."_

_"But I'm sure Tina understands that this is _my _role. I am Maria!" she insisted, glancing at Mercedes and Kurt. Huffing, she turned on her heel and swiftly stormed out, infuriated. _

Where had she gone to afterwards? Well, first she had gone into the bathroom, attempting to fume silently and being unsuccessful. Second, she tried to get up the courage to call her dads and tell them she wanted to be homeschooled or transferred. Next she'd gone into the nearest stall, sobbing like a little kid who didn't get their toy.

..Then an hour later she found herself in the dance studio. Doing piqués and arabesques angrily and vigorously. And she got to thinking about transferring. What if she joined Vocal Adrenaline? She was sure she'd fit in perfectly because she was majorly talented... But the rehearsals to midnight? They would completely drain her and suck the joy of performing from her. She could possibly end up becoming a robot... A dancing, cold hearted robot. Her tiny body shivered once at the thought.

_Or,_ her conscience whispered, she could stop being such a _baby _and suck it up. So what if one role had been taken from her? It was one out of a million that she would still receive, right?

Rachel bit her tongue, putting up her things and walking out nonchalantly, only to come face to face with an audition poster for Liza Minnelli.

Smiling, she scribbled down her name, taking a gold star sticker from her bag and pressing it firmly on the paper. Finally, a chance to show the school how talented she really was.

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><p>"St. James!" Ms. Corcoran yelled, motioning him over to her desk. He jogged up quickly in an attempt to not get yelled at again.<p>

"Yes Ms. Corcoran?"

Her dark eyes shifted. "Why were you late this morning?"

Jesse squinted his eyes. "I got home late last night."

"Why is that so?" she tapped her pen on her notepad, watching intently as the rest of the teens kept practicing their dance moves.

He rubbed the back of his neck gently. "I drove a girl home."

"And that caused you to be so sleepy today?"

"Well she doesn't live in Akron." His blue eyes avoided hers. Trying to keep his cool, he focused on a puddle near the the stage. It looked like sweat though it could easily be blood. Here, you honestly never knew.

Shelby nodded. "Then enlighten me Jesse because I don't understand. I specifically made the rule that _no one_ is to be late to morning rehearsals. They start at 6:30 and you've never been late. Not once in all your three years that you've been here. So why is it that you, the lead, has to make a fool out of himself by tangling his personal life with his professional one?"

He swallowed. "It-It won't happen again." Shelby put her pen down, standing up.

"Stop! Stop the moves! You clearly need to go over those lifts again, Giselle, Ryan, get back on stage and try to demonstrate the lift. The rest of you, sit down!"

Andrea walked up to him, breathing heavily. "Why so tired?"

He shrugged. "Personal business."

"Oooh." she teased, gulping down water. "Someone's got his eyes set on a girl. Who is it?"

Jesse shook his head. "And _who _said it was a girl?"

She paused, giving him a sidewards glance. "Well, are you _gay_?"

He snorted. "Never."

"Then it's a girl." she smiled in satisfaction. "Is she the reason why you were late?"

Jesse said nothing, of which could only be taken as a yes. Andrea giggled. "What's her name macho man?" she watched the male lead sigh, giving in. His blue eyes looked at her meekly.

"You really want to know?" Andrea nodded. "You really, _really _want to know?"

"Just tell me!" she said, slapping his arm.

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><p>So as soon as Will Schuester had heard the news about Rachel being cast as the leading woman in Sandy Ryerson's play, he had the decency to try and talk Rachel out of it. The nerve!<p>

"Sometimes I'm your only fan." he finished, glancing at Rachel.

She blinked. "Look, I know who I am- alright? I know I can be really bossy, abrasive, and conceited. But I work the hardest and I want it the most."

"I know that-"

"I just don't see why you have to hurt me when trying to make the rest of the team feel better."

"Please, just come back to rehearsal." he begged. Rachel almost wanted to go back, _almost._ But all those times that they made fun of her and her way of seeing things pulled her away from the thought.

"No." she whispered, leaving a disappointed Mr. Schuester in her dust.

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><p>"Rachel Berry?" Andrea repeated, thinking about how familiar that name sounded. But she couldn't remember from where she'd heard it. "A girl from Lima? Are you joking?"<p>

He shook his head. "Let's not get carried away. Sure, she's attractive, but girls like that always cling or get too emotional. Trust me, my mission has been to stay away from those."

Andrea nodded unconvinced. "So that's why you went out of your way to give her a ride back home? To Lima? Just because it was the gentlemanly thing to do?" she snorted. "Jesse St. James... A gentleman? Who knew?"

"Shut up Andrea. So I had a moment of judgmental weakness. I'm not going to make a habit out of it. Got it?"

She held up her hands. "Whatever you say. But Jesse," she stopped the teasing tone, looking at him in all seriousness. "You never know. This girl could be the one."

He pondered for a second before smirking. "Me? Falling in love with _the one_?" he chuckled, jumping off the top of the seat. "That's not how St. James does business."

"Oh, right. I forgot, my bad." she said, grouchy. "You only sleep with girls once and then never call them back. Sorry for thinking you could change."

_I still could._ he thought. That phrase threw him off but he pushed it aside, walking back on stage. Maybe something _was_ wrong with him.. But whatever. It wasn't like he was going to get sidetracked for a girls attention. This was his time to shine.

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><p>The moment Mr. Schue called out Tina to start singing, Rachel's smile melted off her face. She marched up to him, whispering.<p>

"I thought you were going to let me have that song."

He sighed, "I thought about it. But this team, they have to feel like a team. Everyone has to have the spotlight, Rachel."

"Well fine. If your means of making everyone else feel good while leaving me silenced is how you want it to be, then go for it." she licked her lips. "Because I quit." and she marched out for the last time, her mind agreeing with her harsh and rash decision but her heart rivaling it furiously.

She found Sandy Ryerson in the auditorium, and she walked straight up to him.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had Glee practice my little multi-tasking star."

"I-I quit the Glee Club." she swallowed, blinking rapidly. Something she only did when in doubt. "I'm yours exclusively." she watched him smile triumphantly.

"You made the right choice." he handed her the paint brush and Rachel looked as if he'd just offerred her a goose head. "From here on out you'll be set for Broadway and your stardom." he paused, adjusting his glasses. "Now get busy with painting."

Rachel nodded enthusiastically. She was sure she'd made the right choice. Doing this, being in this play, was exactly what would help her become a better known star. Glee's social status was only making it worse. And it wasn't like she could stay there if she wanted to. Everyone, including Mr. Schuester, only wanted her there for her voice. Other than that, they completely took her for granted.

_And just when I thought I'd found somewhere to belong. To be special._

... But as she carefully applied the first coat of black paint to the lighting pole, she couldn't help but feel edgy. Her mind battled with her heart. Statistically, she knew she'd made the right choice and that Glee wasn't her priority anymore.

But then why did she suddenly feel like a part of her had just died?

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><p>Thanks for reading! I'll probably update tomorrow (or is that today considering it's already midnight?) or the latest would be on Saturday afternoon. Don't forget that your opinions and criteria count!<p>

-Fanatic4Fiction (AKA IknowUnotsingin'THATsong!)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while, I was having WiFi troubles and couldn't connect to the internet. Anyway, this chapter is pretty long- the episode just had so much in it! So again, the issues with the typos/missing words could occur here. And I apologize beforehand. Enjoy the chapter and don't forget to review!

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><p>"How does it feel to be just a sophomore and get the lead in the musical?"<p>

Rachel smiled, flattered. "It's an honor. If there's anything I've learned in all my years on the stage, it's that stars are rare. And when they're found, you have to let them shine."

The boy seemed flustered, shaking his head as if she'd just given him bogus information. "Show me your bra." he demanded.

Her eyes widened, looking at her chest that was currently covered by her sweater. "You mean the one I'm wearing?" she asked, disgusted and a bit offended. Who did this kid think he was?

"Face it Rachel, to be cool you need a good review. Now show me the over-the-shoulder boulder-holder."

She scoffed, shaking her head. "No way! My performance will stand all on its own anyhow! I don't need to bribe you into giving me a good review."

"But I'll post my scathing online, not in the newspaper. Face it, you'll be finished on the high school stage." he smiled creepily, making her skin feel alienated. "Now get those sweater puppies out of their cashmere cage!"

Rachel gave a disgusted sound and jumped up from her chair as Mr. Ryerson appeared.

"Sorry I'm late, my Vespa had a flat."

Jacob Ben Israel gathered his belongings, defeated. "We're actually not even going to need your quotes for the article Mr. Ryerson." Sandy opened his mouth, beginning to protest but was subsequently cut off by Jacob's continuing rant. "Do the right thing here Rachel. All the great actresses take their clothes off!"

"Well, I have no problem with nudity." Ryerson interjected, earning an eye roll from Rachel. She couldn't believe it. Sandy would give anything to get the glory, including putting her in an uncomfortable situation.

As they left the classroom, Rachel sighed, suddenly feeling tired. As much as she had tried to deny it- she missed Glee Club. Being in the musical hadn't exactly been a dream come true. If anything, Mr. Ryerson was making it into her own personal hell.

Her doe eyes looked down at her chest. It wasn't as noticeable as Quinn's- in fact it was fairly average.

Maybe Jacob had a point. she thought, wallowing in self pity. Her thoughts kept drifting on from there. What if I...

Suddenly a voice broke her reverie. "Hey- what're you doing?"

Her head shot up and her cheeks flushed from the embarrassment of being caught staring at her chest. "Uh- nothing!" Finn shook his head, trying not to laugh. "I'm just getting the star treatment I didn't get while in the club." she fumbled, standing up straight.

"Totally."

"I'm never going back to Glee. It's become clear that I've chosen the right path and that my talent is way too big for an ensemble."

"You aren't getting an argument from me." Finn finished, taking a seat so he was right in front of her.

Rachel couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. Did he not care about her? "I'm...Not?"

He shook his head. "You're the most talented person I know Rachel. Even more than that guy who juggles chainsaws. Plus, if you need someone.. To run lines with, I'm available."

Rachel nodded. "There is _a lot_ of dialogue."

Finn stood up slowly, attempting to give off his 'charm'. So far, it was working on Rachel because she seemed completely entranced by him. "Maybe we could go somewhere alone with low-lighting?" he shrugged his shoulders in an adorable way.

_Oh my gosh._ She babbled in her mind. _He's flirting with me! He's flirting with me?_

"Let me know." and then he walked out, leaving her absolutely stunned.

Had he just practically asked her out? _No Rachel! He's dating Fabray!_ she nodded, agreeing to not go out with him only for another thought to just barge in. _Well, maybe they broke up! You wouldn't know, you quit the club, remember?_

Rachel smiled convinced Finn was finally idolizing her. Yes, life was turning around.

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><p>"What's up with Chris? I saw him passed out in the orchestra pit." Andrea asked, crossing her legs as their science teacher continued to drone on and on about molecular structures.<p>

"He let out a little Vocal Adrenaline secret," Jesse started, shifting his blue eyes from her to the board.

The female lead singer smiled. "What'd he do?"

"He informed a teacher from another district that VA sometimes_ purposely_ fails members to keep them here."

"So? How did he get ratted out?" Jesse's eyes shifted, avoiding Andrea's own gaze. "You!" she hushed, shaking her head. "You turned him in!"

Jesse gave her an incoherent look. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

She swatted his pen away from his hand. Jesse watched as it hit the floor with a single click.

"Mr. St. James, care to share information with the rest of the class?"

Jesse looked at the teacher. His face turned blank. "No, my pen slipped out of my hand and Andrea was merely informing me where it had landed." he got up and swiftly retrieved his pen, giving his fellow team mate a glare. "Stop embarrassing me Cohen."

"St. James, you're an asshole!" she said. "I can't believe you!"

He turned his body towards her. "Chris is 24 and keeps using his triple flip as an _excuse_ to have a gigantic ego towards me. First off, I couldn't care less if he's older than me. Secondly, he pisses me off whenever he comes to practice drunk." Jesse licked his lips. Something he only did when agitated. "If he stays here any longer, the judges are bound to notice a 30 year-old prancing around and doing back flips. Trust me when I say that wouldn't be good for VA."

Andrea scoffed, "You're evil Jesse."

"So sue me." he commented, looking at her. "Are we still on for Friday?" he asked, scrutinizing Andrea's body language. He saw her shoulders slump, knowing that meant surrender.

"Yes Jesse, as much as you make me mad, the rest of the team adores you. So yeah, we're all going bowling on Friday."

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><p>"This is terrible!" Sandy commented harshly, looking at Rachel with those creepy eyes.<p>

Rachel frowned, keeping the song going. _"Hear the music play..."_

"This is a disaster!" he added.

Rachel stumbled back a bit this time._ "Life is a cabaret! Ole' chum-"_

"This is boring!" he shouted.

_"Come to the cabaret!"_ she tried to finish, but his stomping and yelling drowned out her singing. Finally, she huffed, frustrated. "I don't know what you want."

"Well I know what I don't want and it is all this!" he motioned towards her. "I thought you could handle this part, but obviously you can't. What this show needs is a star with more maturity."

Rachel fought back. "I know what you're doing! You're trying to get me to quit so you can be the star. Well too bad because I'm not going anywhere."

With that, she walked out, shaking her head angrily. She needed to vent and tell someone what had just happened, she needed someone to just be there right now. Angrily, she turned the corner and stopped. This was the Glee hallway.

"How silly," she mumbled, turning back around. She smiled pathetically, crossing her arms over her chest. Was she really going to go back in there and complain about how hard it was being in the musical? What would they say?

_They'd probably tell you they told you so and laugh in your face._ Rachel's lip trembled. _If I suck so much, maybe I should go to the store and get the sheet music for myself._ _What I need, unfortunately and rarely, is practice._

The bell rang and Rachel spotted Finn. She pushed her latter mood aside, catching up to him.

"Finn!"

He towered over her. "Yeah?"

"Help me go over lines?"

He smiled. "Sure."

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><p>"I'm sleeping with him." she said dramatically, looking deep into Finn's eyes, enjoying the satisfaction that she had him all to herself at the moment.<p>

"So am I." he retorted. His face fell a few seconds later. "This play's weird."

"That's Mr. Ryerson's favorite line." Rachel commented, tucking loose hair strands behind her ear. "You're pretty good, maybe you should join the musical."

She watched him shift. "Um, I'm pretty devoted to Glee. I can't just.. Walk away. I mean, I know how hard it was for you."

Guilt flooded her body. Of course he felt hurt. They obviously still had a deep connection.

"But," he added. "I could probably do both if you came back. But it's fine, it probably won't even happen." he stared at her. "Do you know what we should do?"

"Elope?" she answered desperately. He stopped for a moment.

"What?"

"Nothing." she said, her cheeks going red.

"We should go bowling. You're too stressed out about the play and you need to loosen up."

"Just us?" Rachel asked, cautious. If Quinn was joining them, there was no way in hell she was going.

"Yeah."

"That-That would be great I have been really stressed out. But that's the price I pay for being the star."

"Don't I know it!" another voice chimed in. Rachel looked up to see Mr. Schue and another lady. She blinked, standing up.

"Hey Rachel. Do you think you could give us the room? I need to give April the queues for 'Don't Stop Believing'."

Her eyes widened. "Wait, she's singing lead?" Finn asked.

Rachel looked taken back. "Wait, she's _in_ the Glee Club? She's... Ancient."

April shook her head. "Talent is ageless, sweetheart."

"But Mr. Schue, that's _Rachel's_ part."

Mr. Schue smiled. "Well she's not in the club anymore."

Rachel clenched her teeth before glancing up at Finn. "Thanks Finn." She turned to leave.

"Rachel, we're all excited to see the play." she nodded, leaving.

_No way._ she ranted, blinking her eyes rapidly. _They replaced me... and to think here I was, about to change my mind and join again._

* * *

><p>It was Thursday afternoon and Jesse was in dire need of new repertoire. There was no way in hell he was sticking with the same songs this year. If there was one thing he was severely strict about, it was repeating a song.<p>

His eyes skimmed through the shelves, looking and waiting for something to catch his eye. When something did, it hadn't been music, it'd been that girl from the other night...Rachel.

"Hey there stranger." he said, amused by her petite body jumping slightly before turning around.

Her eyes were rimmed red and her nose was barely returning to normal. He could tell she'd been crying. That or she was so into music it literally hurt her.

"Jesse," she said, wiping her eyes repeatedly, trying to get rid of the evidence as her left hand held onto the_ Cabaret_ music book.

_Don't notice, don't notice._ She pleaded.

Too late. "Cabaret? That's what has you in tears? Jesus, Rachel. You need to bump up your standards."

She smiled at his comment. It should have offended her, but something told her this was just how he talked. "Oh no, I was thinking about something and it made me upset." she cleared her throat looking at him. "What are you doing here?"

He looked behind himself, as if trying to avoid someone. "This is my favorite place. Aside from the stage of course." he said, gazing at the shelf. "Can I ask why you have a death grip on that book?" he asked, looking as her small dainty hand held tightly to the sheet music.

"Oh, um. I wouldn't." she mumbled, placing it back on the shelf. "My school is doing this for the musical." she explained, crossing her arms again. "I'm the lead. I was just making sure I was singing all the right keys- which I am."

_And Sandy is wrong._ she silently chimed, feeling a bit of glory wash through her.

Jesse's pocket vibrated and he inwardly sighed. He threw Rachel an apologetic smile and checked the ID. It was Andrea. "Sorry Rachel." he said. He paused a moment, relishing the idea that his girl made him feel content. Heck, he practically enjoyed her company. "I, um, have to go."

He saw her lips form a perfect smile. Something within him fluttered delicately. "Oh, well, it was nice seeing you."

He blinked twice before heading off. Now Jesse was worried. Could he have just felt... Butterflies?

_Don't be stupid,_ he thought harshly. _You're a St. James. Nobody can get to you that quickly. It's probably a stomach bug you idiot._

* * *

><p>"Do I have to put my fingers in the holes?" Rachel asked Finn, looking at the bowling ball with a disgusted expression. "Couldn't there be diseases in there?"<p>

Finn smiled. "Nah. Ball sharing is all part of the fun." she watched attentively as he picked one up. "Use the pink one, it's your favorite color, right?"

Rachel chuckled lightly before carefully grabbing hold of the ball. She looked at the bowling lane, feeling uneasy. Shooting him her famous puppy dog eyes, he caved.

"Here, I'll help you." he guided her to the right spot and she felt his hand on her small shoulders. "Just toss the ball nice and straight."

She smiled, tossing it and watched unimpressed as it fell into the gutter. She felt Finn laugh a bit.

"You sure this is your first time?"

Rachel just smiled, motioning for him to go ahead with his turn.

* * *

><p>Chris' cry of victory boomed throughout the group's conversation. Jesse rolled his eyes.<p>

"Sorry," Andrea apologized. "I thought he canceled. Guess I was wrong."

He shook his head. "It's not your fault he's a complete ass."

Giselle sighed. "This is pathetic. Why are you even here Jesse? You haven't been bowling before."

"He's a newbie?" Chris laughed, sitting next to her and wrapping his arms around her. "You don't have to be embarrassed Jesse. Everyone hits the gutter their first few tries."

Jesse's jaw clenched and he shook his head. "Unbelievable."

"What's unbelievable is that I just found something else that Jesse St. James can't do."

Andrea groaned. "Guys, come on. This is no time to fight. We're all hanging out. Why can't we just have a good time?"

Chris smirked. "Yeah Jesse. Why don't you go ahead? I promise they won't laugh at you. Maybe just me though." Giselle slapped his shoulder.

"Stop it Chris."

The lead smirked his signature smirk. "Care to put your money where your mouth is?" he watched in satisfaction as Chris died down.

"You're on."

Jesse stood up quickly, running his fingers over the various colors of bowling balls before choosing a dark blue one. He breathed, positioning said object around his grasp before letting momentum take its toll. He watched as the blue blur hit the pins, knocking them all down cleanly.

Looking over his shoulder, Jesse smiled. "Pay up."

"Holy...!" Andrea exclaimed. "You got a strike on your first try."

"It wasn't my first try." he said, stuffing the money in his wallet. "I used to bowl a lot when I was a kid... Before things changed."

"What?"

Jesse sighed, "It's not exactly group talk. Besides, I don't think you want to hear my inner monologues."

"Less talking, more bowling guys." Giselle chimed in, standing up. "We should enjoy the fact that Shelby is out sick and we get the day off."

* * *

><p>Rachel took a tiny bite from her pizza. "This is really good."<p>

Finn smiled. "Yeah, I think they import the pepperoni from like, Michigan or something."

"How's Glee?" she asked, watching as his expression flustered.

"Well, everyone misses you-"

"I doubt that. Besides, they probably only miss my talent."

"No, no." he protested. "We're your friends. We just miss having you around."

"I love Glee but I don't see the point in wasting all my time someplace where I'm not appreciate it."

"I appreciate you." he answered. She looked at him, stunned. Suddenly Finn got up, grabbing a hold of the pink ball again. "It's your last ball."

Her face beamed, excited that he hadn't just left. She took it from his hands, kissing it lightly, forgetting her rant about diseases.

"It's like the first time, except better." he added.

Rachel watched mesmerized as the ball knocked all of the pins down. In a moment of utter endorphin rush, she shouted happily and jumped up and down. The next thing she knew she was in Finn's arms, his eyes looking at her and hers the same. He didn't pull away so she went for it, pressing her lips against his. It lasted about two seconds before he pulled away, looking in any direction but hers.

"Come back to Glee." he said.

Rachel blinked. This was the question that had been lingering all day. At first she'd been hesitant because she thought he was still with Quinn. But now? They'd just shared their second kiss. And somehow, this seemed to satisfy Rachel as she responded.

"I'll have to quit the play." she watched his face fall. "I'll do it!" she said at last, feeling happy about her decision. She was finally getting Finn and getting away from Ryerson.

* * *

><p>He was on his way out when he spotted a familiar brunette hugging a tall oaf. Jesse paused his steps, watching as his suspicions proved correct. It was Rachel and she had that perfect smile on again.<p>

Yeah, it was sort of creepy to invade on her date, but he couldn't help but feel a surge of... Protectiveness.

And that was the ultimate shock that sent his mind reeling backwards. If anything, Jesse had just been mind-fucked.

"Jesse- come on." Giselle urged, grabbing his arm and dragging him away. Breathing out, he gave Rachel one last look before exiting the building.

_She's taken._ he thought sully. _Hasn't stopped you before._ his other voice echoed. He stopped walking, causing Giselle to lose grip on his arm.

"Hey!" she scolded. "We'll leave without you."

Jesse ignored her, looking back towards the building, plans already formulating within his head.

_Hasn't stopped you before._

Yes. He agreed, walking past a befuddled Giselle. Rachel being attached meant nothing. But he saw potential in this girl, as much as he hated to admit it. In fact, he knew she'd make a great addition to Vocal Adrenaline. And that's when he knew exactly what he needed to do. He could convince her to transfer to Carmel.

And then it was settled. Jesse St. James was going to do anything to become Rachel's friend. Anything.

* * *

><p>Everything had been fine until Rachel had entered the choir room, expecting to be greeted with open arms. No, fate had other plans. Instead she was given a bombshell.<p>

She groaned, blowing her nose into another tissue before discarding it into the nearest available trash can. She was currently sitting on a bench in the park across from the music store, sobbing her eyes out.

_"Quinn's knocked up." Mercedes had said, making Rachel stiffen with shock._

_She backed up a step. "Wh-What?"_

_Kurt moved in the corner of her eye. "And the baby daddy: Finn." he smiled though no one else did. Her fingertips went ice cold and her eyes felt hot. Lip trembling with betrayal, she stormed out of the room, only to find Finn smiling in the hallway._

_I'm such an idiot for believing for even a second he could care... she thought furiously. Her tiny feet stomped as best as they could, her hand finally coming in contact with his face. Rachel watched in anger as he recoiled, confused._

_"You're such a liar!" she yelled. "Why didn't you tell me Quinn was pregnant?" _

_She waited for Finn to say something- anything. And when he didn't, she continued._

_"You took me out on a date and you kissed me, making me think you actually had feelings for me."_

_"Who told you?" he demanded._

_Rachel shook her head. "Everyone knows Finn. Except for me. I'm such a fool. You obviously don't care at all for me!"_

_"But I do! I know I haven't been completely honest with you but it's different than lying-" Rachel shook her head. "I need to get a scholarship so I can go to college and take care of my kid."_

_At this point her anger peaked. He was just using her talent. Finally, he proved to be like the rest, only wanting her for their own benefits._

_"You could've just been honest with me." she said._

_He shook his head. "What I did was wrong. I get it. But our kiss was real-"_

_"Whatever it was it ruined my chances to ever coming back to Glee. Have fun playing house with Quinn while you relish in your little ensemble but my dreams are bigger than that. And they're bigger than you." _

If she hadn't been so mad, she wouldn't have said it. But it was just so strong- the feeling of betrayal that burned deep within her. Never again would she ever believe Finn. Not even if she'd basically thrown herself all over him and made a fool of herself. Nonetheless, any fantasy she had concocted would soon fade away, just like her feelings for him.

"Rachel?" she turned around, blinking lazily at the figure standing before her. He was wearing all black like the first time they'd met, but something about his smile threw her off.

She sniffled. "Jesse? What are you doing here?" she watched him glance at the tissue box currently nestled in her arms. "I have allergies."

He chuckled, taking a seat next to her. "Allergies? Isn't that excuse overrated?"

She merely shrugged. "What brings you here?"

There was a long pause before he smiled. "You." he edged close enough where Rachel could feel his body heat radiate. It felt slightly comforting. "What's wrong?"

* * *

><p>"And that's why I was crying." Rachel finished. Jesse had listened intently throughout the entire story, only nodding and occasionally awkwardly patting her back as she cried all over again.<p>

Licking his lips, he spoke. "I think you need to be the bigger person here, Rachel."

Rachel looked at him. "What?"

"Think about it, be the mature one. Maybe then your team will realize what a great addition you really are. And as for Finn..." he trailed off, looking at the streetlamp. "I think you need to move on from him. Crushes are a casual thing in life- there's no point in pursing what wasn't meant to be."

Rachel shifted, looking at his face. "Have you ever felt like this?"

His blue eyes twinkled. "You mean, sitting all alone and crying so hard I caused a scene? Nah. Never felt too emotionally attached to even contemplate it. "

Rachel laughed, bumping shoulder to shoulder. She paused though, gazing into his eyes. "Are we friends?" she asked curiously.

Jesse shrugged. "Do you want to be?"

Her mind halted. This guy...This amazing, talented guy had just given her a choice. Could Rachel be friends with him and not feel anything? She'd never had any guy friends before and honestly didn't really know how to act around them. Or should she say no, ending their brief friendship already?

_Give him a chance. Not every boy is like Hudson._ she said finally. Her famous smile returned and she nodded, watching as he stuck his hand out for her.

"Hi. I'm Jesse..."

* * *

><p>So there you have it! Third chapter done! Again, excuse my lack of updating. It won't happen again. Don't forget to review! They make me really happy to know people actually like this fic.<p>

-Fanatic4Fiction (AKA )


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

Sorry I was at a sleepover and then I had to go to the post office because they lost my mail. Yep... ANYWAY, here's chapter 4! I personally love this chapter ;)

Enjoy and don't forget to review please!

* * *

><p>Rachel was attempting to teach the club new choreography moves when Mr. Schuester had interrupted.<p>

"Guys! We're in really good shape and there's only two other teams. If we beat them, we're going to Regionals."

Everyone errupted in cheers. "Who are the other teams?" Rachel asked curiously.

The director looked at the paper in his hands. "School for the Deaf in Dayton and someplace called Jane Adams Academy."

Mercedes cut in quickly. "Jane Adams? That's a halfway house for girls getting out of juvy." she laughed as if it were ridiculous.

"People who can't hear what they're singing and criminals who don't care. This will be easy!" Artie exclaimed happily. Rachel could only smile. As much as she hated to let her guard down, it did seem fairly easy. Heck, they didn't even have to _try_ to beat them, it would be so easy. A piece of cake.

At least, that's what Rachel thought until the next day he decided to give a lesson on competition.

Mr. Schuester was finishing posting random pictures on the bulletin when Kurt cut in.

"I don't understand how lightning is in competition with an above ground swimming pool..." Schuester gave him a bland look.

"Just go with it. You guys have grown complacent," he said. "You were fantastic at the Invitational, but you've got to up your game if you want to win Sectionals." he finished.

Rachel could hear Finn faintly yawn. Apparently his speech wasn't making much of an improvement.

"Okay," he said, watching as Finn finished his yawn. "Split up, girls on one side, guys on the other."

The group shuffled and stood in their respective places- except for Kurt whom was standing with the girls.

"Kurt..." Mr. Schue warned. The boy silently moved back with the guys. "Okay, one week from today, you will each perform a mash-up of your choice."

"What's a mash-up?" Puck asked. Rachel tried to hide her smile. How could you _not_ know what a mash-up was? Anyone who ever knew anything in music would.

"A mash-up is when you take two songs and combine them together to make an even better musical expression. Guys will perform on Tuesday, girls the next day. Go all out guys, choreography, costumes..." Rachel smiled at every suggestion, ideas already beginning to brew within her head.

"-Whoever wins gets to choose a song for Sectionals."

Rachel raised her hand. "Wait! Who's going to judge? Your gender makes you biased," she pointed out.

"Ah, there's going to be a celebrity judge."

"W-Who?" Tina stuttered.

He laughed gently. "Guess you'll have to show up to find out."

Mercedes laughed too. "We've got this in the bag."

"Totally," Rachel added. "I'm going to start story boarding our choreography tonight."

* * *

><p>"A mash-up?" Jesse asked, taking another bite of his ice cream. Yeah, it was a bit weird sitting in a shop, eating ice cream like he was whipped. But hey, this came with playing the part of Rachel's friend. If he wanted to get her to like him and join VA, this was just something he'd have to put up with.<p>

"Yeah, Mr. Schuester is making it girls VS. boys. The guys seem kind of out of it, so I know we're going to win." she sighed though, looking at her ice cream. "Except we won't if the girls won't stop being so lazy."

"Lazy girls? That's new."

Rachel looked at him. "It's like they don't care at all anymore. And to be honest, it's making me edgy. What if we get so big-headed that we end up losing Sectionals?"

"Well, just find a way to motivate them more. Did you pitch in any ideas for your performance?"

Rachel sighed, flashbacks of the previous morning coming back to her.

_"He's right, we can't be complacent." _

_Mercedes looked up. "We have this in the bag. Look, I already picked out the songs. We're doing a mash-up of Halo and Walking On Sunshine."_

_Rachel frowned. "Yeah, that was my idea."_

_"Whatever. We can do this in our sleep. Do you really think those six dudes are going to give us any competition? I say we wing it."_

_Her jaw dropped. "We cannot wing it." she said shocked. Rachel Berry had never winged anything, much less an actual performance. "You've _got_ to be kidding."_

_"All those in favor of winging?" no one moved. "All those opposed?" Rachel's arm shot up high. Unfortunately, Mercedes grinned. "Looks like the odds have it."_

"Yes, I chose the songs but they still don't care. There's no budging them."

Jesse sighed. "Then let them get a taste of their medicine."

Rachel's eyes widened. "How so?"

"Look, I'm a guy. We like girls to think we're lazy and watch them lower their guard. And that's when we bite back. It's like lightning."

She smiled, shaking her head. "Jesse, how is that anything like lightning?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought it sounded cool."

Her laughter radiated. "What about you? No Carmel High drama?" she watched him think for a moment.

"There was this incident during rehearsal last night... But it's not exactly small talk."

Her eyes grew a bit. "Tell me, what happened?"

Jesse shrugged. "It's totally normal, it happens all the time except not this... Messy." his body shivered once. "It's gross. You don't want to hear it." he heard a faint complaint from her.

"Just tell me." she begged, leaning over the table as if he were going to whisper it to her. The teen just sighed, shaking his head.

""Trust me, it's not something to talk about here. Maybe another time."

Rachel huffed in defeat.

* * *

><p><em>"It's my life!"<em> the guys finished and cheers erupted. Jesse had totally been right. All this time that the girls thought they'd been doing absolutely nothing was when they'd surprised them and Mr. Schuester. Their performance was so energetic and upbeat.

How in the world were they suppose to beat_ that?_

Rachel had a strong urge to turn around and smirk, telling them "I told you so!" But she didn't. All the while the guys celebrated their rendition happily, Santana, Tina, Mercedes and Brittany just smiled, obviously still thinking they could win.

_No! You can't! You have to practice even harder now!_ her mind shouted. _Don't go off on them, don't!_

"I told you guys!" she scolded a few hours later, hands on her hips.

"We know! You've been yelling at us for a better part of an hour."

"Were they really that good?" Quinn asked.

"They really were Quinn." she answered. "I was fine doing all of the work free of charge but we underestimated the boys- their number will go to Sectionals and once again I'll be humiliated!" she said, fuming.

"How were we suppose to know they'd be that good?"

"How did they do it?" Tina asked, shaking her head.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "The real question is: What were they on?" Kurt interrupted, standing in the doorway. "Though I've been grouped with the boys, my allegiance remains with you ladies." he said, walking forward. "They shot all of my ideas down just because they involved several varieties of exotic bird feathers." the girls gave him a blank look. "We all took something." he said at last, making everyone's jaw drop.

"So they cheated?" Santana asked, confused.

Mercedes stood up. "Oh _hell_ to the no!"

* * *

><p>Finn was walking down the hallway, a grin plastered on his face.<p>

_I'm so going to kill him!_ Rachel thought, walking up to him. "Cheater!" she accused.

He laughed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Kurt told us you took performance enhancers before your mash-up! Ergo, you cheated!"

Finn pushed her aside gently, walking away. Unfortunately, she followed close behind. "It's deplorable, contemporary, and just plain wrong! In fact, I'm going to start calling you _Efron!"_ she said.

"Hey! I'm nothing like that guy. I'd never take steroids. They make your junk fall off..." he mumbled, stopping. "You don't understand what it's like for me, the pressure I have."

She looked away. "We all have issues, Finn. Luckily I take care of mine the natural, healthy way. With rigorous diet and excercise. I'm up at six in the morning each day. I have my protein shake and by 6:10 I'm on the elliptical. I set a personal goal, something that I won't stop going for until I reach it." she finished.

"Yeah well, that's personal issues." he argued. "If you fail, it harms just you. I've got school, being male lead and a pregnant girlfriend who yells at me for no reason." he said.

"Stop making excuses," she said, shaking her head. "And you won't win by cheating."

"You're only saying that because you know we'll beat you." he retorted, moving away from her.

Rachel's angry peaked and she turned around.

_Fine, if he can cheat on his performance, so can I. Someone needs to make things fair._

* * *

><p>"And that's when I went to the nurse and she gave me some vitamins. After that, everything is a blur," she finished, messing with the hem of her skirt. She watched as the Vocal Adrenaline lead gave her a perplexed look.<p>

"Can I just opinion on one thing here?" he asked, scrutinizing her face. The brunette nodded. "You have a lot of drama going on in your life."

"Tell me about it. Sometimes I can't handle it." she looked away, feeling self-pity. "Can I confide in you Jesse? It's something personal. Like a secret."

He nodded. "Shoot."

"I can't help but feel heartbroken whenever I look at Finn. Honestly, I think I might still like him a bit."

"Rachel," he whispered solemly. "You have to move on. You can't expect him to just drop Quinn, who's pregnant with his baby, and be with you. He's got his own life and problems. And as insensitive as this may sound, he's not your type."

Rachel's eyebrows went up. "Not my type? Do I even look like I _have_ a type?"

His lips curved up. "Yeah. I'd like to think so."

"Then enlighten me, please. What's the type that's perfect for me?"

"Oh, I don't know..." he said, running a hand through his unruly curls. "Talented. Mature. Smart. Handsome."

"Jesse, you just described yourself." she shook her head, laughing.

He looked at her, eyes twinkling again. They seemed to do that a lot when in regards to Rachel. "You think I'm handsome?"

"Well, you're not average." she murmured, cheeks suddenly getting very, very warm. Her heart raced a little as he kept staring at her. "Um, don't you have rehearsal in an hour? I don't think your team mates will like it very much if you're late."

Her comment broke their bubble and he checked his watch. "You're right, I have to go." he started to move up, but Rachel's hand on his arm stopped him from doing so.

"Jesse?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think maybe next time we can have lunch or something at my house? As much as I like this cafe, I don't like wasting all my money."

His stomach fluttered again. "Yeah. I think we can. How about I come over tomorrow?"

"That sounds nice."

_Oh my god. Did I just make plans with her? _He hastily opened his car door, climbing in quickly._ What the hell St. James? I thought I said I wouldn't end up liking her!_

He looked at his rearview mirror, the image of Rachel Berry getting smaller and smaller with every second that passed. _Shut up! You don't like her like that. You're just her friend, remember? _

_Just_ her friend. Nothing more. Nothing less. _You're there to talk to her in times of need. There's no point in making dinner plans with her like she's your girlfriend or something._

_But she could be..._ another part of his consciousness argued. He stepped on the brake, frozen at the possibility.

If she was his girlfriend, he could comfort her better. If she was his girlfriend, there'd be nothing wrong with leaning over and pressing his lips against her soft ones. If...

_Stop it! Stop that now! _

But it was too late, he was imagining all those possibilities. All the things they could do that would imply romantic feelings.

_No Jesse, you're incapable of being good. Anything innocent is far from gone now. You're a soul-less automaton_. No feelings.

_But then what the hell do I feel for her?_ he questioned, keeping his eyes on the rode. His knuckles turned white from the harsh grip on the steering wheel. She's in a rag tag show choir team. She's high maintance by the way she talks. But then again, wasn't _he_ high maintance?

_You don't know, remember? You never bother to form a real relationship that doesn't last for anything more than two hours. _

She's different from all the others, though. Unlike the girls in his team, she had something glowing inside of her. She had a heart full of compassion and warmth. What if he ruined her?

_Just friends._ He repeated, breathing out. _Nothing more. Ever._

* * *

><p>Jesse knocked once on the front door before Rachel appeared, swinging it open and greeting him with a bright smile. "Hey."<p>

"Hi." he said. "Can I come inside?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." she stepped aside to let him in.

He observed his surroundings. "Nice house." it was pretty normal, aside from the cat clock that hung next to a wooden cabinet. She must've noticed him staring at it because she began to explain.

"My dads like cats."

He nodded. "Noted."

"Come, luckily I'm a great cook." she grabbed his hand, making his heart miss a beat. Leading him to the dining table, she motioned to the seat next to her. "Please sit."

He smiled nonchalantly, sitting down and looking at her. "This is weird."

Rachel gaze him a look. "What is?"

"I'm usually not one to intrude another person's house."

"You're not intruding if I invited you over. Besides," she said, taking a bite of her salad before swallowing it. "My dads are out on their usual date night, so you're safe-promise."

A low chuckle escaped his lips. "Thanks. That eases some of the pressure off." he stared down at the plate of food. "This looks great by the way."

She shrugged like it was no big deal. "Having two dads who are culturally diverse has its benefits. One of them just so happens to be cooking."

After they finished dinner, Jesse decided they should watch a movie. Rachel opted for_ Funny Girl _but they settled for_ The Way We Were._

Along the big climax Rachel began shedding tears. "It's just so sad, she loves him so much." she whispered, blowing into another tissue, reaching over Jesse to throw it into the waste basket.

Somehow in between the movie scenes they'd ended up in a rather cuddling position. Jesse was sitting with his legs stretched along the couch and Rachel was laying up against him, her back facing him. Her arms always slightly touched his legs whenever she'd grab another tissue and the close proximity was driving Jesse insane.

Her hair smelled like Strawberries and the silkiness grazed so delicately below his chin. His arms circled her body, pulling her closer.

_You're getting too attached..._ his voice of reason echoed. His other half disagreed._ Oh shut up. She's... Different. The way we are right now... I could get used to this feeling burning inside of me, ready to explode._

_You'll regret it._ he thought.

Jesse shifted his body upwards, making them both sit up right. He looked at her intently, breathing softly as her face furrowed in confusion.

"What's wrong?" she asked, edging closer. Somehow they'd both forgotten about the movie in the background.

He shook his head. "Rachel, if I did something right now, can you promise not to freak out?"

Rachel's heartbeat skyrocketed. She honestly didn't trust her voice right now, instead she just nodded, watching as the boy in front of her leaned closer.

_Is he going to..._ she trailed off, her thoughts becoming incoherent.

Jesse swallowed. It was now or never. If he did this, they'd only go two ways. The one he was desperately hoping for seemed ridiculous if he hadn't had thought about it for the past two weeks. The second he dreaded. She could end up hating him and feeling disgusted.

_I won't regret meeting her._ He said finally, his hand reaching over to grab a hold of her neck. He felt her breath hitch as he leaned in, so close so it only left an inch.

Rachel felt warm all over. Her skin was so sensitive where his hand touched her neck, it radiated the warmth straight to her core. "Jesse," she said softly.

* * *

><p>And there you have it. I hope you guys liked it and I pray I didn't move things too fast. Remember, there's a time difference with every episode. How much? I'm not sure considering sometimes it's a week, a few days, MONTHS. Sorry for the pointless rant. Review please!<p>

-Fanatic4Fiction (AKA ChocolateBearHugz)


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or its characters.**

So my summer is basically over today. Tomorrow I start my extra curricular stuff from the afternoon 'til 9 p.m. Don't get me wrong, I love doing what I do but sometimes it takes so many opportunities away from me. Anyways, I'm not going to complain anymore. Just be warned if I forget to update tomorrow or on Tuesday. But, keep reviewing because it makes me write them faster! Thanks and I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

><p><em>"Jesse," she said softly. Rachel's body shivered as his lips gently touched hers, not exactly forming a kiss just yet. Just as she was about to move her mouth against his, the front door swung open.<em>

_"Rachel darling we're home!" Hiram said, watching as the two teens jumped away from each other, not looking at him. "What's going on?"_

_There was a moment of silence before Jesse stood up. "Nothing Mr. Berry. I was just... Leaving." he looked at the floor a bit confused, grabbed his jacket and gave Rachel a goodbye look. Sighing, he smiled faintly at her dad. "Goodbye and thank you for letting me stay."_

_Rachel watched speechless as he just left. "Honey, are you okay?" Leroy asked while staring at his daughter whom said nothing but gingerly shook her head. _

_Carefully, her fingers touched her lips and couldn't help but smile a bit. Jesse St. James had just kissed her. And honestly? _

_Rachel liked the feeling that fluttered in her stomach._

"Can we try something different? Like R&B or something?" Mercedes said, making Rachel snap out of her memory.

Kurt chimed in, saying something about how they do too many show tunes.

"This is _Glee_ Club," Rachel retorted. "Not Crunk Club."

"Don't make me take you to the carpet!" Mercedes glared at her and Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Fantastic! Thanks for that idea Mercedes and Kurt. Dully noted. Anything else?"

Mike Chang raised his hand. "I can pop and lock."

Schuester opened his mouth, not really knowing what to say. "Not really what we're going for Mike, but noted."

The bell rang and instinctly they all began to retrieve their belongings. "Mr. Schuester, maybe we should try at least one pop song tomorrow?" Mercedes begged. The director sighed, nodding.

"I'll take that into consideration."

The hallways were crowded as usual and the diva clutched her binder closely, on the lookout for slushies.

Unfortunately, even a slushy facial wasn't as bad as the voice that followed her. "According to me, you're the hottest girl in school."

Rachel made a face. "Ew, go away."

"Have you read my blog lately?"

She groaned. "Of course not. You're blog is nothing but gossip and lies- mostly about me so why would I?"

"Word on the street is that Fabray is in trouble." Jacob Ben Israel said, continuing to stalk her.

Rachel looked at him. "Where did you hear that?"

He smiled. "Are you denying it?"

"Yes!" she said before walking away.

"The same birdie told me that you're Finn Hudson didn't choose you to carry his litter!" he called after her, making Rachel freeze.

_Don't turn around and retaliate. _she protested. _But Finn's my friend, this will destroy him!_

She closed her eyes, sighing with what she was about to do. Marching up to Israel, she said, "What's it going to take for you not to run the story?"

The boy with the Jew-Fro smiled. "Give me your underwear."

She gaped. "What?"

"You heard me Berry. Hand the lace over."

Rachel gritted her teeth. "Go away. I'll... Put them in your locker after school."

He smiled, satisfied. Her throat felt like throwing up and she made a face.

_I thought you hated Finn because he lied. _she commented, feeling like dirt. _I don't hate Finn, I was just so hurt... But that doesn't mean I like him again. Not after what happened with Jesse._

Her heart sped up just thinking about it. _Jesse._

* * *

><p>Jesse didn't get out of bed in the morning. He knew he had rehearsal and he knew Shelby would kill him for missing it tomorrow but he couldn't help it.<p>

He was sick. Terribly so. Everytime he thought about what had happened with Rachel, his stomach would turn into knots. The most embarrassing part was that technically, they hadn't really kissed. He didn't do it. He couldn't.

Being truthful, it felt like he was taking advantage of her. Rachel was so blissfully clueless. He'd practically been spelling it out for her the entire week before. How more obvious could he get? He himself had been denying it all this time... The very fact that he was starting to seriously like her. But it was wrong. Unlike him she was a good person.

It was a sick movie scenario where the evil villain tries to take the innocent girl's virtue.

Yeah, he was the villian. That narcissistic cruel villain. Sure, maybe he was starting to change, but that didn't erase the past. If he ever fessed up to her about all the bad things he'd done, hell. She'd hate him for the rest of her life.

The familiar ringtone on his phone opened his eyes. Reaching lazily he looked at the bright screen, wincing softly at it. There was one new message.

_**Jesse, we need to talk about what happened... Please, meet me at the music store today afterschool at 5. -Rachel**_

He groaned, letting the phone drop onto the carpet.

_I need to fix this. _his heart ached. _The only way I can is by telling her it was a mistake. That we should just be friends. This way there won't be drama._

_...But if she's your girlfriend, she might have a better reason for transferring and being on Vocal Adrenaline._

He shook his head. _If she's my girlfriend I'll ruin her. I'll taint her heart with all the poison I have. As friends it'll be no strings attached._

Something in his chest started to hurt. _You want her._

_Of course I do. She's beautiful, talented and warm-hearted. _

_She's everything you aren't. But it's something you could become._

His hand pulled at his unruly locks of hair. Just wishing it were less complicated. _But if I became that, I wouldn't be Jesse St. James anymore... I wouldn't be me. _

_She makes you who you are._

_Impossible. I just met the girl two months ago. There's no way..._

_Love has its way of changing us._

His eyes shot open and he quickly sat up on his bed. _Love? Who said anything about love? _

_You're so ignorant to the truth. Face it, the great Jesse St. James has fallen for a girl._

_Shut up! I have not. I will not. I won't. I can't..._

_You have._

Before he could fully process it all, his hand picked up the phone, automatically typing a response to Rachel's message. He couldn't believe this was really happening. It was all too insane.

* * *

><p>Rachel's phone buzzed while she'd been watching Mr. Schue and Coach Sylvester arguing about not splitting the club. Her hand had opened the phone, smiling gently at the message.<p>

_**I'll be there. See you then. -Jesse**_

Then she sighed, thinking about how weird this all was. Her relationship with Jesse and the fact that Ms. Sylvester was now co-directing the club. Heck, today, she'd chosen all of the 'minorities' for her 'Elite Glee Club'. Whatever that meant.

Behind her, Finn voiced in. "How'd you get Jacob to stop the story?"

Rachel shrugged. "Let's just say I feel sorry for my dads because they're probably going to dip into my college fund to pay for intensive therapy."

The tall male looked shocked. "Whoa."

"I don't mind." she said, smiling. "I did it to protect you and Quinn."

"Oh. Well, thanks."

"Of course. We're all team mates after all."

"Hey," he said, touching her shoulder and standing in front of her, making her stop. "You really are awesome. I'm going to make it up to you someday, I swear." Rachel saw that he was trying to use his smolder but oddly, that no longer affected her. She just nodded and watched him walk away, only to turn around and come face to face with Jew-Fro.

"I need another pair." he whined.

"What's wrong with the ones I already gave you?" she asked.

He pulled the lacy green out of his backpack. "They still have the tag on them."

"Put those away!" she whispered harshly.

"I want Berry panties. Not store ones. If you don't deliver by tomorrow I'll post that Fabray story." his creepy smile came back. "I feel an urge to kiss you so I'm just going to go for it." he started to lean in but Rachel stumbled back, her palm blocking his face away.

"No no no! You stop it!" she scolded.

* * *

><p>Jesse spotted Rachel sitting on the piano bench, her fingers brushes against the keys without making an actual sound.<p>

_Just do it._ he thought roughly. Breathing out he walked up from behind her.

"Hey." he said.

She smiled. "Jesse." she patted the open space next to her. Looking at her eyes, he sat down, blinking.

"Is there something you wanted to talk about?"

Rachel's smile faltered. "It's about... What happened at my house the other night."

Jesse looked away. "What about it?"

"You kissed me." she stated.

He shrugged. "I wouldn't call it a kiss. It was more of just a light touch."

"Well," Rachel played with her fingers. "Did you mean to kiss me?"

His blue eyes darkened a bit. "That was.. The initial plan. But-"

"What?" the hurt in her voice wasn't masked at all. Rachel left her pain out in the open.

"But it was a mistake. I'm sorry. I think we should just stay friends."

"Friends." she repeated, clearly angry at the fact that he was pushing their encounter aside like it was an everyday thing for him.

_It probably is..._ her voice said.

"Yeah." his eyes searched her face. "I really like you Rachel but I think we should just get to know each other better by being friends... Maybe in the future... We could try it."

"If you changed your mind, why didn't you tell me sooner?" she bit her lip. "I wouldn't have... I wouldn't feel like such an idiot right now."

Jesse's heart sank. "Why would you feel that way Rachel? You're far from being an idiot."

"No!" she argued. "I'm not. I'm such a-" her words choked at the back of her throat causing her to just cut off. She looked away._ I'm such a stupid girl for thinking he could like me like that. Face it Berry, no guy cares about you that way._ "Nevermind. I need to, um, I need to go home." she picked up her bag. "Too much homework."

Jesse frowned. "Rachel. I'm sorry... Can we please just move past this? I don't want it affecting our friendship."

Rachel tried her best to smile. "Of course. Sorry about bringing you here for nothing. It was all a misunderstanding, right?"

He nodded. _You're an asshole._ he accused to himself, feeling the urge to just shout out_ "No, wait! I do like you!"_

"So I'll see you when I see you?" she said.

Jesse licked his lips. "Yeah. How about Friday night? We can go to the movies and talk about all the drama going on with our lives." he stopped short, looking at her with wide eyes. "As friends. It's not a date."

Rachel laughed gently. "Sure. See you." she headed for the door, her eyes beginning to sting.

Jesse watched her go along with the opportunity he had thrown away. Now it would take forever just to move past his mistake. However something told him what he had just _done_ was the mistake, not the kiss.

* * *

><p>The next day wasn't any better for Rachel. After the club had a rendezvous before they split up to their respective places, Mr. Schuester had followed suit with what Sylvester had been planning. He wanted to basically retaliate whatever the other group had been recently singing.<p>

"They're singing about hate. Literally." he said, passing out the sheet music. "So we're going for a more...Nicer approach."

Rachel stared at the title, gasping in approval. "Oh! I love this song!" she looked at Finn. "Follow my lead."

"Don't have to tell me twice." he commented.

_"Tell me how I'm suppose to breath with no air..."_ Rachel started, hearing as the music backed her up and the familiar tune gained its beat.

_**If I should die before I wake**_

_**It's 'cause you took my breath away**_

_**Losing you is like living in a world with no air**_

_**Oh**_

Rachel started picturing her current problem with Jesse. What he had said to her yesterday, it practically broke her heart.

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'm here alone, didn't wanna leave<strong>_

_**My heart won't move, it's incomplete**_

_**Wish there was a way that I can make you understand**_

Jesse St. James groaned, running his hands through his hair. His body shook once and the next thing he knew his cheeks were stained with tears. It was a new feeling, something he hadn't done since he was a young child. Crying just wasn't who he was. Shedding tears had grown useless in the last few years but now they'd returned and he found himself not being able to stop them.

He couldn't believe what he had just done. Hell, he couldn't believe what he was feeling. That thing, the connection they had, only kept growing and no matter how much he protested, it still resided inside of him.

But doing what he did... It was a hard blow. He had seen the disappointment and pain in her eyes when he'd told her the kiss had been a mistake. No... The mistake had been him not being able to open up to this new sensation. The way his heart sped up whenever she touched him or how his stomach fluttered as soon as she smiled.

No, he didn't_ kind of_ like her anymore... He knew why he was so upset at the fact that he'd hurt her before anything had even truly happened.

He was crushing on Rachel Berry. Something he never thought possible.

* * *

><p><em><strong>But how do you expect me<strong>_

_**to live alone with just me**_

_**'Cause my world revolves around you**_

_**It's so hard for me to breathe**_

What she felt for him was indescrible. At first, she had that faint, girly attraction towards him because well, he was handsome and talented. But after getting to know him better- the attraction grew deeper than common crushes. And ever since their kiss, all she could feel was his soft lips on hers, causing her body to shiver.

_**Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air**_

_**Can't live, can't breathe with no air**_

_**It's how I feel whenever you ain't there**_

_**It's no air, no air**_

_**Got me out here in the water so deep**_

_**Tell me how you gonna be without me**_

_**If you ain't here, I just can't breathe**_

_**It's no air, no air**_

And as Finn gently touched her shoulder while they rehearsed the song in the auditorium, she couldn't help but long for that to be Jesse. Putting all her hurt into the song was so easy and so powerful that Finn could barely keep up. Together they sung the last chord and Rachel faintly heard Mr. Schuester praise their performance.

* * *

><p>Rachel was just about to get her history book out of her locker when an angry Quinn Fabray closed it for her.<p>

"Listen here, Treasure Trail. We're about to have a smackdown."

Her mouth went agape. "I don't want to have a confrontation." she tried to move past but the blonde cheerleader held her back.

"Don't play stupid with me man-hands!" Rachel frowned. "I'm having Finn's baby and you need to back off." she menaced.

Rachel couldn't care less about Quinn being pregnant with Finn's child. In fact, that information seemed so irrelevant now. "You're right. But I did help you for you. Not because I had romantic ulterior motives. In fact, I'm through with Finn. And besides, even if I did, he still wouldn't cheat on you like you're doing."

She started to walk away only for Quinn to follow suit. "What are you talking about?"

"Now you're playing dumb! I happen to know for a fact that you're Sue Sylvester's little mole. You're telling her all about the Glee Club. I know you want it finished but she's just using you. If she ever found out about your little 'situation' you'd be a goner." she saw Quinn glare. "And if you help her take down Glee, you won't have anyone left."

And on that lovely note, Rachel left with her arms crossed.

* * *

><p>"So everybody knows she's pregnant now." Rachel finished telling Jesse the sum of the weeks events and she heard him faintly sigh in the dark. The movie theater was filled with people watching the big screen, too preoccupied with the dialogue to notice the two teens hadn't stopped talking.<p>

"I remember in Vocal Adrenaline we had a scandal. Bree Hannings, I was a freshman when she was a junior. To say the least, Shelby wasn't too proud. Poor Bree was kicked out faster than she could finish her apology."

Rachel's eyes widened. "It wasn't yours, was it?"

Jesse chuckled lightly. "No, I was a poor clueless virgin until sophomore year. And her boyfriend ended up transferring away from her and their baby. I recall her nervous breakdown in the girls locker room."

"That's harsh." Rachel commented, shaking her head. "Coach Sylvester hasn't said anything about kicking Quinn off the cheerios but I suppose it'll happen soon." her hand found his as the eerie music in the movie began again. They were watching some horror movie because they'd both opted out a romance and an action one.

Jesse looked down at her petite hand and squeezed it in return._ Just friends, right? Can friends hold hands? _His eyes shifted to her face.

Rachel looked up, knowing he was looking at her. His blue eyes seemed a bit sad and it made Rachel feel horrible. Why? She had no idea. Maybe the fact that she'd agreed to be nothing more and now she was_ holding his hand_, only something a girlfriend would do.

But instinct took over as he moved the armrest that sat between them up, pulling on her hand and bringing her closer. She silently relished the moment in his arms, keeping her eyes focused on his features.

_Just friends._ she said, resting her head on his shoulder.

* * *

><p>And there's chapter 5! I hope you guys enjoyed it! And I know, it's frustrating that they're 'just friends'. But just you wait, they find a way to be steamy and still be 'friends.' Oh yeah... You know where this is going ;)<p>

Hahaha, don't forget to review! I love you guys!

-Fanatic4Fiction


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters. **

_I'm sorry I haven't updated guys! It's been a pretty hectic week for me with my extra curricular activities. But no worries, I'm still going to write and update this story! I've been thinking about it and I was wondering if you'd like me to write St. Berry all the way through season 2 as well? I think I could really twist up the original story lines and interpret them in a different way. Let me know if you guys want that or if this story is starting to bore ya. Anyway, enjoy and don't forget to review! _

* * *

><p>It was Monday morning and Rachel couldn't help but feel frustrated. All weekend she'd been texting and calling Jesse but to no avail, he was ignoring her. Why?<p>

Well, he _said_ he had multiple VA rehearsals that spanned the entire day on Saturday and Sunday. Obviously he must've thought she was an idiot because even Rachel knew Vocal Adrenaline never rehearsed all day on Sundays. Clearly he was avoiding her.

She sighed, looking desperately at her phone screen in hopes there'd be some message or missed call.

_**You have 0 new messages.**_

Rachel groaned, tossing the bedazzled cellphone into the dark depths of her locker. As soon as she'd closed it, Noah Puckerman was right there with a slushy in hand.

On instinct, Rachel's eyes closed, waiting for an impact that never came.

"I picked it up for you when I was buying some dip." he explained casually.

Her brown eyes opened in both confusion and caution.

"It's grape. I know you like grape because the last time I tossed one at your face you licked your lips before cleaning off." he took out a straw and handed the giant cup to her. She took it from him as if he'd just offered her a goose head.

"I was wondering if you'd like to get together so we can work on some mash-up ideas." he stated.

Rachel nodded. "Sure. M-My house. After school."

* * *

><p>"Stop the music!" Shelby shouted while throwing down the packet of sheet music she'd just picked up. "That's what you call projection?"<p>

The members just looked down, mumbling to themselves.

"Can anyone hear Jesse? Because I certainly can. All the way from over there." her long finger pointed to the far end of the auditorium where a red 'exit' sign flared. "Do I really need to explain to you guys how to project?"

No one moved or answered her question. Shelby rolled her eyes. "Seniors, take a break while I coach these freshman."

Two thirds of the student body shuffled down the stage. Chris, who for some odd reason was still mad at Jesse, bumped against the male lead's shoulder.

"Watch where you're going Chris." Jesse grouched, shoving the boy aside and sitting down in the nearest seat. His phone buzzed twice and he looked at the screen sadly.

_**You have 17 new messages. **_

Jesse scrolled down the list quickly. Aside from a few from his parents, the majority of them were from Rachel.

"What's wrong with little St. James?" Chris said, mimicking that annoying voice grown-ups use to talk to infants. His large hand snatched Jesse's phone away, face lighting up with amusement as he read through the messages. "Jesus Jesse. Who's this Rachel chick?"

Jesse glared, taking his phone back. "No one that pertains to you. Now leave me alone. Just because we're on the same team doesn't mean we're automatically friends, got it?"

"Right, my bad. The only friends you have are the ones you sleep with."

He chuckled darkly. "You might think this is a lie but I'm not a man-whore. I don't sleep with every girl I see, dumbass."

"My my, you seem touchy. What nipped you in the butt?" Giselle chimed, wrapping her arm around Chris' neck.

"Nothing." Jesse repeated, his fingers touching his temples. "Why won't anyone leave me alone?"

"Because you're fun to be with." Chris toyed.

"Well why don't you guys go f-"

"Hey!" Andrea interrupted, taking a seat next to Jesse. "Guys, can you give Jesse and me a moment alone?"

Giselle frowned but obliged, dragging away Chris who was still mocking Jesse.

"Don't let them get to you. They're always annoying."

"Oh?" Jesse said. "I didn't notice."

Andrea frowned, looking intently at him. "What's wrong? Is it about this Rachel girl?"

"Why should I tell _you_?" he said, looking lazily at her.

She shrugged. "Because I'm your friend. Always have been." he gave her a bland look. Sighing, she crossed her legs. "I've known you since you were eight. I've been there when you had bloody noses, broken legs and ribs, not to mention the pre-pubescent era. Oh! And let's not forget when I gave you advice on how to pick up a girl. I remember this one time you got so nervous you almost wet yourself." she shook her head, lost in the fond memories of childhood. "Who knew huh? That you'd lose the big V your sophomore year-"

Jesse sighed. "I kissed her."

"-And then- wait!...You what?"

"I kissed Rachel Berry."

Her jaw dropped. "Are you dating her?"

He shook his head. "I told her it was a mistake."

"What?" Andrea screeched, throwing her hands up in the air. "You're such an idiot!"

His eyes widened. "Why are you yelling at me?"

"Because," she huffed. "It's like the most obvious thing in the world. You like her."

"Well of course, I mean I don't hate her. Otherwise I wouldn't talk to her."

"No! You like,_ like_ her." she giddily clapped her hands. "I can't believe it's happened!"

"We're just friends."

"No! Jesse..." she pleaded. "Go for it. You have no idea what good this could all bring. Do it. Don't leave high school without having a sweetheart."

Jesse snorted. "This isn't _Sixteen Candles _Andrea. I'm not going to change for one girl."

"You already have."

His blue eyes went cold. "Excuse me?"

"You're less cocky now. It goes well- except for today of course. But that's understandable. You're going through a rough patch with her."

"There's no rough patch. There's nothing going on!"

Andrea sighed. "Then answer me this: Did you like the kiss?"

"Yes," he answered immediately. "It wasn't exactly a kiss though, more like a touch. But that's not important. People kiss all the time."

"Not friends." she stated.

There was a large pause before his eyes flashed and a devious smile crept on his face. "Yes. Some friends do. In fact, sometimes they do a lot more..."

Andrea shook her head. "Don't go there. Please."

But it was too late, Jesse was already standing up. "Some friends act like their dating but without the expectation parts, the lovey-dovey ones." he grabbed his backpack, car keys already in hand. He needed to figure things out alone. He needed time to devise this plan- the plan that just might work.

"Jesse! Don't do this! It'll ruin everything!" Andrea called but it was too late. One thing she'd definitely learned after all these years was that when he finally thought something he'd stop at nothing to reach it.

* * *

><p>She had no idea how it happened because one minute they were rehearsing and the next they were full on making out.<p>

Noah's hands grabbed her butt, which was weird for Rachel, but she didn't fact, she enjoyed the feeling of someone's lips on hers, this way her fantasies would feel more real. Right now, she pictured it being Jesse.

Feeling content with this picture, she kissed back hard. Unfortunately, Noah's lips weren't as soft as Jesse's which kind of tainted the fantasy a bit. His hand squeezed and caressed her butt and it felt too out of character. Suddenly a queasy feeling took over in the pit of her stomach and she pulled away hastily.

"You alright baby?" Puck asked.

She shook her head. "I can't do this."

"Why?" he asked back. "We're a couple of good looking Jews. It's natural." he leaned in for another kiss but Rachel scrambled, keeping his hands away.

"I can't give myself to someone who isn't J-" she bit her tongue. She was about to say Jesse and practically give away her little secret.

_I almost slipped._ she thought._ I mean, sure, Noah's a good kisser but those aren't the lips I want. Those aren't the hands I need..._

She scattered her brain for an excuse. "Someone who isn't brave enough to sing a solo." she lied. "If you're not man enough to do that then how are you going to handle dating an admittedly high maintenance girl like me?"

"Are you questioning my badassness? Have you seen my guns?" he said, shocked. Immediately he started to pull up his sleeves in attempt to show Rachel his biceps.

Her petite hand stopped him from doing so. "Noah, I'm sorry. Your arms are lovely but I just.. Don't think this is going to work out."

* * *

><p>The phone rang three times before Rachel answered, smiling as Jesse's voice came from the other side. "Rachel, we need to talk-"<p>

"Me first!" she said, still hyped up from today's Glee rehearsal. "Guess what?"

Jesse chuckled, noticing her voice extra excited. "What?"

"Noah Puckerman sang his first solo to me. It was _Sweet Caroline_!" she gushed, happy of the fact that a boy might actually want to be together with her.

Jesse's good mood flat lined as she finished explaining how smooth his voice was and how he kept staring at her the entire time during the song. If anything, Jesse would've thought Neil Diamond to be a bit tacky.

_He's a jock. So what if he sings good? You sing great. Fantastic. Absolutely gorgeous-_

"Did you hear me?" Rachel's voice asked through the speaker, snapping Jesse out of his thoughts. For a second he was starting to sound a bit self-centered.

"Yeah." he lied. "That's awesome but can we talk?"

"Sure-" there was sudden noise in the background and he heard her faint squeal. "Wait! Never mind, Noah's here again because we're still working on our assignment."

"Rachel-"

"I'll call you back."

_No way._ he thought as the sound of the dial tone echoed in his ear._ Is she really going for that jock? _

_Why do you care? You're just her friend. _

Jesse sighed, tossing his cell onto the bedspread. It was true. Who was he to dictate who she could and couldn't date? As a matter of fact, he was starting to sound like a jealous boyfriend.

He snorted lightly and shook his head. _Boyfriend._

* * *

><p>An entire day passed before Rachel ended up calling Jesse back a bit after midnight.<p>

"Hello?" Jesse asked groggily. He used his free hand and rubbed his eyes.

"Jesse?" Rachel said. He mumbled an 'Uh-huh' before letting her speak. "Good. I got you while you were still awake then."

His lips curved upwards. Actually, he'd barely gotten home after VA rehearsal and just ended up dozing off in his bed. "Rachel, not that I mind you calling but you do know it's really late."

"I know that."

"You have school tomorrow."

She huffed. "Well so do you!"

"But I'm in Vocal Adrenaline and I just had rehearsal. What's your excuse for being up so late?"

"It's about the team." she admitted.

He sighed, rolling onto his back and looking at the blank ceiling. "What happened?"

"Well, it all started with Coach Tenaka and some grudge he has against Mr. Schue. But that's besides the point- all of our jocks had to choose between Glee and football. It wasn't pretty."

Of course there would be conflicts. What else could you expect from a club that just didn't have all the standards and resources? "Let me guess, they all chose football?"

Jesse heard her laugh half-heartedly. "Actually, most of them chose Glee. All except-"

"Noah?"

"No no, he stayed. It was Finn." she growled, surprising Jesse with her kitten anger. "He's so afraid of ruining his own reputation that he abandoned us. Jesse, he's the male lead, what are we suppose to do without him?"

_Quit and move to another school. Preferably Carmel. I hear they have a killer show choir. _he thought. He was so tempted to say it to her but opted not to. It was way too harsh for her right now. "I'm not sure. Isn't there anybody else who could fill his spot?"

"He's the best singer we have. He's my co-captain for crying out loud! How could he do that? To the team? To me?" she asked, venting rapidly.

"Look," he pressed. "He made his decision. Obviously he hasn't sorted out his priorities or maybe show choir just isn't all that important to him. Not like it is with you. Make the best out of what you've got now Rachel. I'm sure Noah Puckerman can make his way up to Finn's level."

"Noah is good but he isn't a leader..." she trailed off, frowning. "Why is it that nobody at McKinley is man enough to step up and be a leader?"

"Because they aren't men. They're boys." he stated nonchalantly before involuntarily yawning loudly.

"You're tired," Rachel said. There was more shuffling in the background. "Um, we can talk tomorrow or something."

"I'm not," he yawned again. "Tired."

She laughed on the other end. "Yes, you are. It's fine Jesse. I think I'd prefer to talk at a later time- like when you're fully conscious."

"Okay, well, goodnight Rachel." he answered.

"Night."

* * *

><p>Conflicted. That's exactly how Rachel felt as she straightened her hair. She had a boyfriend, Noah, who wasn't all that much of a boyfriend. Every time she'd walk with him he'd try to grab her butt or touch her breasts whenever they kissed. And that was another thing: kissing. Sure, he was experienced but they just didn't feel right next to hers.<p>

There was a knock on her bedroom door, causing her to almost drop the straightener. "Come in!" she called out, turning the contraption off.

"Hey Rachel, your dads let me in." Jesse explained as he closed the door. He smiled at her fondly, taking a place on the bed.

"What're you doing here?" she asked, running her hand through her hair. He shrugged and picked up a magazine.

"Well you said we could talk later."

Rachel nodded. "Right." she sat down next to him, close enough that their arms brushed against each other. "Can I ask you something?"

He looked at her.

"Have you ever kissed someone and felt like it was a mistake? Like, they're not the person you should be with, or something?"

"Um," _Yes. Yes!_ "Not exactly, why?"

"It's just, it's weird having Puckerman as a boyfriend. He just keeps repeating that it's normal because we're both Jewish. Not to mention his interest is always only on my breasts."

His gaze looked at her chest then back to her face. "Is that what you wanted to talk about? Because it's kind of awkward considering I'm a guy."

"But you're more mature." she whined. "Do you think I should end it? Before I do something I'll regret?"

He laughed softly. "Like what? Sneak out?"

Her eyes looked down. "I'm not ready for anything other than kissing, Jesse. He's my first boyfriend."

"Have you gone on a date?"

"No," she said. "He's just trying to get into my pants."

"Newsflash Rachel, you're not wearing pants, you never do."

She laughed lightly, shoving him away playfully. "You know what I mean."

"I don't blame him Rachel." he said in all truth. "You're beautiful." he saw her cheeks flush insanely quick, making his own heart race.

"You don't have to lie to make me feel better. I'm not like Quinn Fabray or Santana Lopez."

"You're right, you aren't." he stated, tossing aside the magazine and turning his body towards hers. "You're different. Your beauty doesn't attack like Quinn's and you don't have to wear so much make-up like Santana." he said.

"How do you know what they look like, Jesse?" Rachel questioned.

He smiled. "Football games of course. I may not be a jock but I do go to them." he cleared his throat. "But like I said before, you're a natural beauty." Using his hand, he lightly traced her cheek. "You're perfect just the way you are."

"Really?" she whispered lowly, her own heart rate increasing with his touch alone.

He edged close enough that their breaths mingled. "Absolutely." he felt Rachel lean in slowly and he followed suit, soon enough, their lips were a centimeter apart. "Rachel..." he whispered, closing the space between them.

This time it was an actual kiss. And like the last one, it sparked so many urges from within them both that they gasped, shivering once. Rachel's hands quickly tangled themselves into his hair while his grabbed her arms and pulled her flush against his own body.

Deepening the kiss, they fell back onto the comforter, not letting go of each other until Rachel pushed him away abruptly.

"Jesse... What just happened?" she asked completely stunned.

He took a minute to answer, regaining his sitting position and running a hand through his hair in an agitated manor. "I think they call it kissing." he showed her his infamous smirk.

Rachel shook her head. "That wasn't what I meant. Jesse, I have a boyfriend."

"Noah?" He snorted. "He's hardly what I'd call a boyfriend."

"What's your definition then?"

Jesse pursed his lips. "A guy who cares more than just about getting into your pants."

"I thought you said I never wore any pants." she stuck her tongue out before regaining her reasoning. "I just cheated on Noah with you. He'll be devastated."

"Hardly."

She fumbled with her hands. "What does this make us?"

He leaned in closer to her, eyes smoldering. "Friends," he pecked her lips before standing up and stretching, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I've got some unfinished business to handle with a couple VA members. I'll fill you in later." he winked, causing her to blush before he walked out.

* * *

><p>The first thing Rachel wanted to do was tell Puckerman. As much as she'd wanted a boyfriend, Noah wasn't really all that much her type. In fact, they didn't have anything in common aside from being strictly Jewish.<p>

She found him staring longingly at the football team from the stands, as if he could magically just rejoin them. Gingerly, she sat near him.

"I hope you didn't choose Glee over football because of me." she revealed, feeling guilty about kissing Jesse the day prior.

"Why?"

"Because... I don't think this relationship is going to work out."

"It's cool. I was going to break up with you anyway."

She smiled softly. "No you weren't."

"Yes, I was." he defended. "You won't even let me touch your boobs!" Noah shook his head, looking away from her. "It's Finn, right?"

_Wrong. _she thought. As much as she'd liked Finn from the very beginning, something about the way Jesse made her feel was addicting. It was like a drug that only he could provide.

"He's never going to leave Quinn- not with that baby in her belly."

There was an envious tone to the way he said it, making her question his own reasons for staying with the team. "You like her." he stayed silent. "That's why you stayed in Glee, right? To be closer to her?"

Puckerman shifted, sighing. "Like I said, they're never breaking up." he scoffed lightly. "What the hell's the matter with me? I'm a stud and I can't even hold on to a chick like you?" he side glanced at her. "No offense...Why don't girls like me?"

"Because you're kind of a jerk! No offense." she mocked. Noah was handsome but his attitude towards women were offensive and that's what holds him back. If he were a little more considerate, maybe she would've cared more for him.

"I just think you want it too much. Which is something I can relate to. I want everything too much. Stardom. Popularity..."

_Jesse._ she added silently.

"We were a fantasy. I just think I agreed to be in this relationship because I thought it'd be a good distraction." Rachel admitted, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I just hope we can still be friends."

He shook her off. "We weren't friends before." with that lovely comment, he walked away.

* * *

><p>"Chris!" Jesse shouted, slamming his car door shut and walking up to said person.<p>

The older member looked at him curiously. "What the hell do you want? I'm late for my shift at work."

Jesse shook his head. "This won't take long."

"You're right," Chris remarked, attempting to walk away but Jesse stuck out his arm, pushing on his chest enough to halt him. "What is it St. James?"

"What the hell is your problem?"

"My problem? You're the one stalking me and asking me bogus questions." he answered.

He huffed. "So I hustled you at bowling. That was weeks ago, so why are you making my life hell?" he stepped back a few inches. "Are you going to answer my question?"

Chris grinned. "I just love teasing you, little man."

"That's another thing," Jesse added, shaking his head. "Just because your older than me does not give you the right to treat me like I'm some baby. Why do you have it out for me?"

"You really want to know why?" Chris edged closer, his hands forming into fists. Jesse noticed he was starting to get a bit agitated. "You piss me off St. James. I hate how you think you're so perfect just because you're male lead of Vocal Adrenaline. I despise your arrogant and spoiled attitude. It makes me want to just punch your face in."

Instead of being afraid, he laughed. _Laughed._ "You're jealous of me? Because I'm better than you?" he tried to keep from laughing, ultimately failing. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Last year you also slept with my girlfriend."

"I've never slept with Giselle-"

Chris growled. "My other girlfriend, you narcotic asshole!"

He stopped laughing, looking serious. "Who?"

"Tara Halloway, she was a senior then."

"Who?" Jesse repeated, the name not ringing a single bell. Most of the girls he had slept with always came up to him. Hell, they practically begged for it. And hey, who was he to turn down someone in need?

Chris snarled. "You don't even remember, do you?"

Jesse shook his head.

"Then watch your back because I won't stop until you feel exactly what I felt."

A spark flared in Jesse's eyes. "Good luck because that'll never happen."

"Let's hope for your sake it doesn't because if it does and I get the chance I'm doing it. And I'll annihilate you from the face of this planet."

Jesse stepped closer, smirking. "I'd like to see you try."

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><p>So there it is! Sixth chapter finished! Let me know what you guys think :) I appreciate the amount of feedback I've gotten so far that it makes me smile. Thanks guys, I love you!<p>

-Fanatic4Fiction


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

I'm backkkkkk. Sorry about the long wait- my life is crazy (as is a lot of people's right now). But, I am still continuing this story. And due to your feedback, I _will_ write into season 2. So, that should be fun. Anyway- we're getting closer to 'Hell-o' so it's about to get interesting. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Don't forget to review!

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><p>"Alright guys, I think we've got a new contender for Sectionals." Mr. Schuester said, passing out sheet music. "Pop songs have always been good but I've done a little research. Seems that the judges like songs they already know like Broadway musicals and such."<p>

Kurt gasped at the title. "Defying Gravity? I love Wicked! I've got a whole playlist favorably for this musical on my ipod."

"Good because Rachel," he glanced at the brunette. "I want you to take the solo."

Rachel smiled and nodded. _Defying Gravity_ was well within her range. This would be a piece of cake. She turned to Kurt and noticed he ways a bit upset at the fact that she would take the solo.

"Why do we have to go all vanilla on this song?" Mercedes asked with a sassy tone. "What we need is my chocolate thunder."

The club laughed and Schuester smiled. "Don't worry Mercedes, we'll find something for you to dip in chocolate." He cleared his throat. "On another note, the school refused to provide the special bus we need for Artie on the way to Sectionals."

"What?" Tina said. "That's completely unfair!" Rachel nodded.

"So," he continued. "We're going to have to raise money to pay for it ourselves." he clapped his hands, waking a few of the former jocks in the back row. "We're going to host a bake sale."

Quinn rolled her eyes and Santana snickered. "A bake sale? You're kidding, right? They're so.. Old school."

"So hip people stopped eating delicious desserts?"

Brittany cut in. "It's not that... It's just that most of us don't know how to bake... And I find recipes confusing..." she admitted, gazing off into the distance.

"Yeah Mr. Schue, kids are busier than when you went here. We've got homework...Football, teen pregnancy... Lunch." Finn added, shrugging.

"I cannot believe you guys are willing to make Artie ride alone with his dad." Mr. Schuester said shocked. "When I was in school the best part was always the ride there."

"I'm sure Artie doesn't mind, right?" Quinn asked, turning to Artie who hadn't really said much throughout the entire discussion.

The boy looked down. "I don't mind. Besides, anything that takes away time from rehearing doesn't serve the team."

Rachel frowned, guilt flooding through her. Suddenly she felt like a really crappy friend.

"Artie..." Schuester tried.

The teen just shrugged. "I'm used to it."

* * *

><p>Jesse kept staring at the girl pacing rapidly in front of him. He was currently sitting on the couch in Rachel's home, as if nothing were different.<p>

"I can't believe this is happening! I mean, who does that? What guy tries to take away _my _solo?" she retorted, rubbing her temples.

"Maybe you should calm down Rachel. No guy can sing _Defying Gravity _better than you. Besides, isn't there like a high F or something?"

she nodded. "Exactly! And that's what makes me so mad. Kurt has a higher range than all the others... What if he can sing it? He'll gain the solo I rightfully deserve."

He grabbed the hem of her shirt, halting her movements. "Can you stop pacing so fast? It's starting to make me nauseous."

Rachel sighed, plopping down next to him on the couch. He drew her in close enough that they were almost cuddling. Her eyes closed quickly and she tried to calm down, thinking about the previous morning's events.

_"I have something I want to say," Kurt said, raising his hand. "I'd like to audition for the Wicked solo."_

_"Kurt there's a high F in it." Mr. Schue stated._

_"That's well within my range." he defended, hands on his hips._

_The male teacher sighed. "I think Rachel's fine with the solo. But I'll find you something later has a killer high note in it. Alright?"_

_Kurt sat down, a disappointed look clear on his face. Rachel shook her head. _

"And of course Mr. Schuester has to make my day worse by ordering us to be in a wheelchair for threee hours every single day." she huffed.

"What for?"

Rachel's head leaned against his shoulder. "So we would kind of know what it feels like for Artie. So far it's absolutely horrible. I hate that ghastly contraption!" she wailed, flailing her arm weakly at the wheelchair sitting in the corner.

"I think I have to agree with your director on that note," Jesse said. Her weight shifted away from him. He looked at her perplexed look and rolled his eyes. "I mean that maybe you guys will learn something from all this. I couldn't even imagine what it must be like to not be able to walk. In fact, I think I'd feel so contained I would go insane." he shrugged. "I'm kind of surprised he hasn't after the crap he must get."

"He said he didn't mind riding with his dad to Sectionals," Rachel stated. Her eyes looked a bit drained when she thought about Jesse's words and couldn't help but wonder if that's how Artie felt: contained.

He chuckled humorlessly. "Rachel, have you ever thought that maybe he was lying? He probably didn't want to cause any trouble."

Her petite body fell back into Jesse for support. Rachel's face hid in the crook of his neck. "Does that make me a bad person?"

"No, just ignorant I think."

"Nobody at that school is going to buy anything from us, so fund raising is hopeless for his cause.." Jesse shook his head.

"Don't think like that."

She snorted. "Well then if you think you're so wise, then please, give me some advice here."

"How about you right the wrong? Do something to help your fellow team mate."

"Like what?"

He shrugged indifferently. "Make him feel like he's a part of the group. Aren't you the one always complaining about how you don't belong? Imagine being in his place, Rachel."

_Dammit, why does he have to be so mature?_ Rachel thought, sighing heavily. _But he has a point..._

* * *

><p><em>...But if only he could see into the future.<em> Rachel spat, clutching onto the wheels of her chair as Mr. Schuester tried to let her down easily.

"I know this'll be hard on you Rachel but I can't, in good conscience, preach about the importance of Artie's needs and reject Kurt's request."

Her teeth grinded. "So you're giving him my part."

"No. However he can audition for it."

"That's completely unfair! You gave me the part and filled me up with false hope just so you could rip this opportunity away from me?"

"Rachel, don't be like that. You and Kurt will both audition and whomever is better will sing it as a solo."

"It's unfair because you'll pick him so he'll stop complaining!" she screeched.

The adult sighed with frustration. "I won't judge this," he said before moving away and projecting. "Now, you guys are going to vote. Whichever singer gets the most votes from the club wins."

_Of course._ she thought solemnly. _And like always, popularity triumphs. Kurt will win the solo because he's more likeable than me._

"This isn't going to be about talent Mr Schuester it'll be a popularity contest-"

"Stop right there." Kurt interjected, moving his wheelchair swiftly to the front of the room. He merrily crossed his legs. "Now we all know I'm way more popular than Rachel."

The diva scowled.

"And I dress better than her." he added. "But I want you guys to be honest with your votes. So let's promise to vote for whoever is better. Raise your right hands." he looked at Brittany. "Your other right, Brittany."

The blonde smiled and moved her other hand up in the air. "Sorry."

"Now repeat after me: I promise to vote for whoever sings the song better."

There was an unequal repetition from the group. Kurt seemed satisfied and looked at Rachel with a death glare. "It's on."

The bell rang and Mr. Schuester nodded, processing what had just happened. "Alright guys. Have a good day."

Rachel purposely stopped him in his tracks. "Maybe next time you'll find a way to creat teaching moments without ruining my life." she hastily wheeled away in what she wanted to be a dramatic exit but instead hit the doorway. Her eyes searched for any witnesses.

Thank goodness no one saw that. Rachel spotted a sad looking Artie closing his locker. Wheeling to him, she cleared her throat.

"How's your day so far?" she asked awkwardly.

The nerd looked perplexed. "Why are you talking to me?" he looked over both of his shoulders.

Rachel smiled softly. "Because we're friends."

"We are? I thought you always kind of hated everyone in the club because you're always yelling at us."

"I don't hate anyone."

He looked unconvinced. "Oh. I think I should head to class now before we both end up with a slushy facial."

She nodded. "I'm sorry."

Artie scrunched his eyebrows. "For what?"

"For what I said about you at the beginning of the year... About you not being male lead material."

He shrugged. "You were right. I'm no Finn- I'm not a 'hot male lead'."

Rachel flushed as he quoted something she'd said to Finn long ago. "How'd you...?"

"I have my ways. But aside from that obvious fact I'm still a better dancer than Finn. And I can't move my legs." he joked.

Rachel smiled. "You're not as bad as I thought you'd be."

He rearranged his glasses. "Same here. And Rachel?"

"Yes?"

"I forgive you."

* * *

><p>"Well, what about that red-headed sophomore, Alyssa?" Jesse opted, rubbing his temples lightly. At the moment, he was sitting in the auditorium with Ms. Corcoran and Andrea since she was the female lead. Shelby had been wanting to try something from Wicked but all of their current soprano's didn't meet any of the standards.<p>

"Alyssa?" Shelby asked, tapping her pen. "She's a fantastic soprano but she doesn't have the 'it' factor when it comes to classic Broadway music."

"She's right, that girl's good for pop songs." Andrea mumbled, closing her eyes. She couldn't do the song since she was only mezzo-soprano and couldn't reach the highest notes. It was a shame considering how amazingly talented she was.

Ms. Corcoran nodded. "What about Hannah?"

"She's okay I guess if you want mediocre performances." Jesse stated, exhaling loudly. "Why do we have to do this song? Can't we just choose something else?"

"We need more money to pay for the Regionals costumes. And in order to get that money we have to completely blow away the judges at Sectionals."

"Well at this pace I highly doubt we'll find a perfect singer for this song and finish the choreography in time for Sectionals. Which may I remind you, is in three weeks for us." Jesse said.

"Then who else can you think of?"

Inside his mind, he could think of one more person who could possibly be what they were looking for. But it was impossible- Rachel was on the opposing team and was way too committed to that club.

_Now would be the perfect time to offer Rachel a chance to transfer here._

He shook his head. _It's too soon considering my current relationship with her._

_Relationship? You're just friends._

_But there's something more than that... Not including the fact that we kissed. Something keeps me coming right back to her._

"No, I can't think of anybody else," Jesse answered, sitting back into his chair.

Shelby sighed heavily. "I just wish there was one person who could take on this solo." she shook her head. "Fine. We'll choose another song. Andrea, do you have any suggestions?"

The lead smiled. "A ton..."

Jesse tuned her out, lost in his own thoughts. How the hell was he going to make this work? Rachel wouldn't break away from McKinley. Not while they needed her and most definately not while she cared so much about them. He needed to stray her away from them... Somehow.

* * *

><p>"I really appreciate the trouble you guys went through with raising all this money." Artie said, looking at the handful of cash. "But I think I'm going to use this money for wheelchair ramps here at the school."<p>

Everyone in the club frowned.

"I'm not the only wheel-chaired kid here and I'm sure there'll be plenty of more when I graduate. So I'm using this to buy ramps."

Mr. Schuester nodded. "I agree with you a hundred percent."

Tina shook her head. "D-Does this mean you're still riding w-with your d-dad?"

Artie nodded. "I'm sorry about all the trouble." Finn put a hand on his shoulder.

"Nah man. We follow you completely. Besides, if they get ramps all up in here it'll beat having to carry you in every single day."

Puck and the rest of the guys laughed. Rachel couldn't help but smile at how supportive they all were with Artie. And to think that before Glee they completely ignored them.

And in honor of Artie's decision, they decided to dedicate a whole number to him. And get this: it was performed completely in the wheelchairs. And as they sung their hearts out, Rachel couldn't help but smile happily. For the first time in a long time she felt like she belonged.

* * *

><p>"So he still gets the ramps and the bus ride?" Jesse questioned over the phone all the while attempting to finish his homework. Yeah it was weird but hey- this was VA homework. The kind where you have to storyboard your choreography.<p>

"Yeah, Mr. Schue wouldn't tell us how but apparently somebody donated the money."

He smiled. "So I guess everything's working out alright?"

"Better." Rachel said, looking at her ceiling. "I'm sorry I didn't get to see you today."

His stomach fluttered lightly. "No, it's fine. There's always tomorrow."

"Yeah..." she sighed lightly. "Jesse? Have you ever cared about someone so much you were willing to do anything for them, including lying?"

He thought about it for a moment, contemplating whether or not he should be honest or just lie and say 'no'. Licking his lips, he spoke. "Actually... If you had asked me a few weeks ago I would've totally said yes. However," he emphasized. "If I truly cared about that person, I wouldn't lie."

Rachel nodded. "So lying to a restaurant manager to get a job and help said loved one pay bills is wrong?"

His eyes widened. "Wait, are we on the same page here?"

She laughed into the phone. "I'm sorry. I should've elaborated more. That was totally my fault." she bit her lip to stop from laughing too loudly. "I helped Finn get a job at a local restaurant so he could help Quinn with ultrasound bills."

Jesse let out a long breath. For a second he'd been afraid she would go running back into Hudson's arms. "Oh, thanks for letting me _not_ know beforehand." he said sarcastically.

"I already apologized St. James." she teased. Rachel's laughter died down and she spoke softly in utter seriousness. "I can't imagine what it must be like.. For Quinn. Never would I have thought that cheerleader Quinn Fabray, president of the celibacy club, would be pregnant. It must be horrible to have everything you've ever stood for taken away because of one night. One mistake."

Jesse swallowed hard. _She has no idea what she's even talking about. _he thought, referring back to that one fateful night after rehearsal. Now that he pondered more on it, he had to agree with what Andrea had told him... About being a changed man. Hell, he was starting to think and act differently... And it was all because of this one little firecracker named Rachel Berry.

"Jesse? Did you fall asleep on me?" Rachel asked over the speaker.

_Do it. Ask her already and be a man. _

"Do you want to go to dinner somewhere tomorrow night?" his eyes widened a bit. "As friends. I figured after all this drama that's been going on that you deserved some peace."

Her heart skipped a beat and she couldn't stop from smiling like a maniac. "Yeah... I think that'd be great. How about Breadstix? Then we could catch a late movie afterward."

The teen boy smiled a bit, basking in the fact that he'd practically asked her out. "That's perfect. I'll pick you up at 8 o'clock."

_Does he have any idea what he does to me? _

"I'll be waiting."

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><p>Sorry the chapter is a bit on the short side, there wasn't much material that I could work with in this episode (Wheels). BUT, alas here it was. And please, feel free to correct me on any and all mistakes found within the chapters. Trust me, the longer the chapter the harder it is to find these bad puppies. Sometimes I feel like my grammar is horrible and I blame it on the (alcohol). Hahaha! ... Sorry, that was my idea of a joke.<p>

DON'T forget to review because if you do, you don't get a virtual hug from me! Lol :P

-Fanatic4Fiction


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

Sorry it's been a couple days. I just realized I have one week to sell $250 dollars worth of ads by next Monday (insert sad face). But on the bright side, I get to go back to school and sit in a desk for eight hours everyday... Wait, that's not a good thing. Haha, jk. Well, enjoy!

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><p>"...And then we saw a late night rerun of <em>West Side Story<em> at her house." Jesse finished, stuffing his ice pack into his bag. They'd just finished a giant dance number and his ankle was on fire.

"Aw, that's so romantic!" Andrea gushed, combing through her hair quickly. "So are you guys official?"

He gave her a strange look. "I told you that Rachel I are just friends."

"...But you kissed her during dinner and then held her hand throughout the entire movie?"

He shrugged. "I don't need to explain the complicated details of my relationship with Rachel. We're just friends- except better." he smirked, thinking back to that night.

_"I've never had their vegan salads before." Rachel stated while she wiped her mouth. "But I must admit that it was definitely delicious."_

_He let out a low chuckle. "I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Any movies in mind?" His eyes stared as her pearly white teeth bit down gently on her plump pink lips. _

_"Not really... I guess we could go back to my place and see what classic reruns they have showing tonight." she smiled. "Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_He snapped out of his trance. "Like what?"_

_Her brown eyes sparkled. "Like you're in love with me."_

_His back stiffened a bit. "Yeah right. You wish Berry." he smiled gently. "You missed a spot..."_

_"Where?" Rachel asked, horrified. _

_Jesse leaned across the table, his left hand caressing her cheek. He saw her eyes glaze over and pressed his lips carefully onto her soft ones. After a few seconds he pulled back, smirking crazily._

_"I got it." _

_Her cheeks flushed a bright red. "Let's pay the bill and get going, shall we?" He had the satisfaction of hearing a faint squeak in her voice. Something girls only did when he made them nervous._

"I don't think that what you're doing will be a good foundation for your relationship." she pointed out, throwing her dancing shoes into her backpack.

"Foundation? It's not like I'm going to stick to this girl forever, Andrea. I think you've been watching too many 90s movies."

She rolled her eyes. "Have you had sex yet?"

His hands dropped his phone and he shot her a flustered look. Her smile grew bigger.

"You so haven't."

Jesse cleared his throat. "That's none of your business!"

"You're so into this girl that you're respecting her boundaries! It's absolutely amazing how much you've matured." she cooed.

"I am not into her so much that I'm willing to become a boyfriend Andrea! She's just... A lot harder to get."

"In other words: she doesn't trust you yet."

"Not completely. Which is why I'm just friends with her." he held up his hand. "Spare me the whole 'but you kissed her' talk."

She huffed. "So you aren't pursing her to get into her pants?"

He stopped packing up his belongings and stared into the distance. "No, I actually didn't really think about it until you pointed it out just now. It's just that there's more to her than just her body." he cleared his throat. "Don't get me wrong, her body is great. But she's different. I'm different with her."

Andrea stayed silent, paying specific attention to every word he said.

"But that doesn't mean I'm whipped. Jesse St. James does not get whipped."

Her body shifted slightly. "He doesn't. But maybe Jesse does."

* * *

><p>Rachel watched intently as the choir director scribbled down 'Ballad' on the whiteboard. His signature smile lit up his face as he turned to the group.<p>

"Can anybody tell me what this word means?"

"It's a male duck." Brittany guessed. Mr. Schuester gave her a confused look.

"No... That's not it." he pointed to the male fashionista. "Kurt?"

"A ballad is a love song."

He pondered that statement. "Sometimes but they don't always express love. A ballad is a story made into a song. It can be about love, happiness, sadness, etc. Your assignment for the week: singing a ballad as a duet. Sing what you would want to tell that other person- anything you're feeling."

"I pick Quinn." Finn said with that dopey smile on his face. Rachel looked away.

_Of course. Could he get more obvious?_

Mr. Schuester shook his head. "Ah, your partners will be chosen by fate." he pointed to the top hat sitting upside down on the piano. "I've put each of your names into that hat. Whoever you pick is your partner."

Santana raised her hand. "But Matt's out sick today. He had to go to the hospital because they found a spider in his ear."

Everyone groaned in disgust. Mr. Schue made face. "I guess I'll just have to put my name in there for now." he scribbled on some blue paper. "Who's up first?"

Rachel watched as one by one the members were paired off. Unfortunately for her, no one ever chose her name. Finally after the last pair was chosen, Rachel stood up and walked towards Mr. Schuester.

"I guess I get you Mr. Schue."

His eyes widened. "Maybe we should wait until Matt gets back..."

"The fates talk Mr. Schue." Finn repeated, smiling.

Artie raised his hand. "Would you mind clarifying what kinds of songs you want us to sing?"

Rachel smiled brightly. "Why don't you let me and Mr. Schuester demonstrate?" she turned to the man sitting on the piano bench. "Brad, Endless Love in B flat, please."

The adult frowned. "I don't think that's a very appropriate song selection."

She shrugged. "Why not? It's a wonderful song and a perfect ballad." She honestly didn't understand why he was objecting to it.

"Yeah, I really like that song Mr. Schue." Finn added smugly.

The director sighed as Brad began to play the opening chords_. "My love..."_

Her heart fluttered a bit. His voice was so smooth and fit the song well. With every line they sang she was more and more entranced by the man standing before her. Sure, he was her teacher, but that didn't stop her from being slightly attracted to his voice. And those eyes were so pretty and totally complimented his teeth- which were a pearly white harbor. Rachel liked great oral hygiene since it showed wonderful self esteem.

She didn't why or how, but what she was seeing and what she was hearing made her look at Mr. Schuester differently. He was super, super cute that it made her want to blush.

The song ended and he stumbled back a bit. "Okay, well... Something like that is fine."

Rachel smiled completely dazed.

* * *

><p>Jesse knew something was up with Rachel the moment she opened her door. Normally, her eyes would remain calm but today they had a sense of hyperactivity in them- that or it was a sign of infatuation.<p>

"So you needed my assistance?" he asked, removing his coat and placing it on the nearest chair. The brunette nodded energetically.

"I need your help in choosing the perfect ballad to sing to Mr. Schuester. Preferably a love song or something that admits desire."

He raised his eyebrow. "Whoa. Wait a second, desire? Isn't he like... Your teacher?"

Her cheeks flushed lightly. "Yes. It's just a song, Jesse. It's not like I'm going to marry him or anything."

His blue eyes watched intently at her body language. The way she moved gingerly and how her cheeks grew red whenever she said Schuesters name. It was clearly obvious.

_Holy hell! She's got a crush on her teacher!_

"Are you sure about this? Maybe you should sing something a little less edgy and straightforward like Wonderful World."

Rachel frowned. "That's a song describing what it would feel like to be in heaven."

He smiled. "Exactly."

"Jesse!" she groaned, throwing herself onto her bed. "I really need help with this assignment here! There are thousands of songs out there that I could sing- but I need one. The perfect one."

They sat there for a few minutes, thinking to themselves until Jesse started to hum a tune. Rachel shot up and looked at him.

"What are you humming?"

"Crush by Jennifer... Something?" Jesse guessed, shrugging it off. The only reason he was humming it was because his sister had denied to turn off her music at 2 in the morning. Now he had a preteen song about crushes stuck in his head.

Rachel smiled. "It's perfect!" she launched herself at him before he could process it, sending them both tumbling down.

He chuckled lightly, moving a few loose hair strands from her face. "You really need to be more careful Rachel."

She giggled. "Sorry, guess I got a bit too carried away..." her eyes focused on his mouth. "Thanks for helping."

"I hum one song and you're ready to settle?" she pecked his lips lightly.

_Oh yes. This is definitely just a crush between her and her teacher. Rachel's just in a phase. _

"What can I say, we're friends because we think so much alike. Now help me practice." she said, propping herself up.

Jesse smiled. "Yes ma'am."

_Damn you, Jennifer Paige for writing such an obvious song._

* * *

><p>The next day she'd planned to sing it to him in the choir room, but he'd scrambled an excuse about letting another group perform first. Rachel looked away and bit her lip, remembering the evening's events.<p>

_"Sweetie I'm home," Mr. Schue projected as he entered his apartment. Rachel had been in the kitchen checking on her casserole while Mrs. Schuester opened up a cabinet. _

_"Rachel darling, don't forget that he also likes a clean house." _

_She nodded, taking out a drink and walking towards the couch. Hell, even the back of his head was so dang cute. Rachel held out the drink for him and watched in satisfaction as he took it._

_"Thanks."_

_She smiled. "You're welcome."_

_Will's eyes turned and looked at her in utter surprise. All the while she was just happy to see him more._

_"Casserole's almost ready." as she skipped towards the craft room to clean, she could hear footsteps practically run into the kitchen. And being the teenager she was, she couldn't help but lean over the doorway of the craft room and eavesdrop._

_"I can't believe you invited her in!" Will growled. She heard Terri shuffle._

_"She said she was one of your Glee kids." more movement. "And it didn't take long to find out she's in love with you."_

_"So you made her clean our house?"_

_The shuffling ceased. "Look Will, I've been dealing with these school girl crushes for years. So why shouldn't I get a little something out of it?"_

_Rachel bit her lip and put on a show face. Gloves on and ditzy smile plastered on her face, she barged into the kitchen. "We're out of Ajax." her eyes glanced at Will._

_Terri stirred the side dish. "In the linen closet sweetie."_

_She nodded, walking out to but not before waving intimately at him. "Bye," she mouthed._

After that, things happened pretty quickly. She'd heard more argument from Terri before he'd walked in the craft room, offering to take her home.

And who was she to turn down a free ride from the hottest man in her life? So in her thoughts, she had planned to sit next to him... Not behind him in the backseat.

"Mr Schuester?" she questioned.

He sighed. "Yes Rachel?"

"Why do I have to sit in the backseat?"

There was a pause before he shuffled an excuse. "It's the law. Children have to ride in the back."

Children? "A child under seven..." she mumbled.

"Well, I'm just concerned for your safety."

Her heart swelled, touched by his confession. "You care about my safety? Really?"

"No... Not really?" he countered with slight confusion.

Make a move, Berry. she thought before remembering that her selected song was currently in her bag. Heck, now that they were alone, she could finally sing to him.

"How about we take opportunity of this golden alone time and rehearse our ballad?"

He shrugged. "I don't have any music."

Rachel beamed, taking out the CD. "It's alright, I made us a CD." unhooking her seat belt, she leaned over and gingerly popped it in the player. She sat back and waited for the familiar beat.

_"Ah, crush..."_ she whispered, smiling and watching his reaction. _"See you blowing me a kiss it doesn't take a scientist to understand what's going on baby..."_

He pressed the off button harshly and Rachel's brows knitted together. "I wasn't finished."

"Yeah well the acoustics are really bad in the car. Put your seat belt back on." he said, looking anywhere but in her direction. "So... How's things with Puck?"

She grimaced. "I broke things off. He was too immature." she was only half lying- the other reason why she'd broken up with Noah was because of Jesse. But seeing as things with him weren't getting anywhere, she wanted to move on.

"That's high school."

She nodded. "I'm a high maintenance girl. I need someone who can keep up with me intellectually and creatively."

He chuckled lightly. "That's a lot to ask for in a teenage boy."

Her cheeks blushed lightly. "That's why I have my sights set much higher." she hinted. Mr. Schuester said nothing after that.

* * *

><p>The morning after wasn't any better. So far, this week had gone by horribly for Rachel. Well, that aside from Jesse who kept trying to cheer her up.<p>

_**Did you have fun singing to him?- J**_

She shook her head and smiled, placing her phone on the edge of the sink and reapplying her lip gloss. And who would you know walked out of the stalls? None other than the Susie Pepper.

"Hey Barbra Streisand- we need to have a little talk." she demanded. Rachel's annoyance spiked.

"I have nothing to say to you, Pepper. If you continue to stalk me I'll press charges!" she placed her make up in the bag. "Everyone knows you're the school crazy."

The girl in the overalls washed her hands. "I was crazy." she admitted. "Crazy in love."

Rachel groaned. "There's nothing you can do or say to make me change the way I feel about Mr. Schuester. Our love is for the ages." she tried and failed to push past her. "Your threats will only make our love stronger."

"Let me tell you a few things I learned from psychotherapy and an esophagus transplant. You and Mr. Schuester are never going to work out."

"What do you mean?" Rachel asked, confused. For all she knew they were totally compatible.

"We're not so different." Pepper said. "We're both mildly attractive and extremely grading. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schuester is target for our self esteem issues. He can never reciprocate our feelings which only reinforces the conviction that we're not worthy of being loved."

Her words spoke the truth and honestly? The truth was like a slap in the face- awakening Rachel from a very deep sleep and reinforcing the reality of the current situation.

_What the hell am I doing pining over Mr. Schuester?_ she spat in her mind. _One minute I want Finn the next Jesse... Now Mr. Schue? What happened to me?_

Although she didn't want to admit it- and she really didn't want to. Susie Pepper was right. She wasn't worthy of being loved- her years of experience only proved that. All those time she'd follow a boy around only to be humiliated even more. It was horrible. And throwing herself at her own teacher? That seemed pretty low.

"Trust me- I'm a cautionary tale." she looked at Rachel's scowl. "You need to find some self respect, Rachel. Get that mildly attractive groove back. Okay?" the crazy girl walked out leaving a very confused and horrified Rachel.

_I've made a mistake_. she thought.

Another part of her conscience snorted. _So fix it. What are you going to do to clean up all your mess?_

* * *

><p>It wasn't like Jesse was upset- it's just that he was severely bothered by Rachel's obsession over her choir director. It was getting ridiculous.<p>

_She sung Crush to him, how more obvious could it get?_ he thought all the while kicking an empty soda can from the school sidewalk. _I'm surprised he hasn't said anything. Surely he has to know by now... So why is he letting her get more into it?_

"Stupid teenage girls." he muttered, watching as the can skidded across the other end of the street. This was getting out of hand. He was starting to feel things, urges, for one girl. For Rachel Berry.

Never would he have thought he could possibly like a girl. But with the way his thoughts always reeled back to her and how she captivated his attention whenever she talked was crazy. It scared him senseless knowing his... Feelings were getting so out of control.

_Why do you care so much if she likes her teacher?_

He huffed, pulling at his hair._ Because it can be tough._

_Why should you care if her life is tough? It's her problem. You're nothing to her._

_Because I care about her. _He let go of his hair, eyes wide as he looked up at the sun. _Holy Jesus... I care?_

_Finally. It's about time you get something right._

Jesse's lips turned into a barely there smile. He'd never gotten to actually thinking it before.. The fact that he already cared so much about her. And in a certain way. But now the problem was, did she care about him? Was he just as important as she was to him?

_I don't want her to get hurt._ he thought weakly. _What if I'm the person who ruins her?_

_...Then don't be that person. Give her something to believe in._

* * *

><p>Her palms were sweaty when Mr. Schuester walked into the choir room. Urgent to fix her mistake, she shot up quickly and placed a pot of flowers on the piano. "Mr. Schuester, I'm ready when you are. The ballad that I've selected has a very important message that I'm anxious for you to hear."<p>

He shook his head. "I'm going to stop you right there, Rachel." He looked intensely at her. "The way you've been acting is totally inappropriate." he shook his head. "I'm sorry Rachel but that's all I'm ever going to be- your teacher."

She looked at her feet. "I know." her hands turned around the flowers so the label was facing him. "I came to apologize for the way I've been acting. The ballad I chose was 'Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word' by Elton John because I know how much you love him."

His expression didn't waver, causing chagrin to rush through her veins. Scoffing, she sat down in the nearest chair. "I'm such an idiot for mooning over you and cleaning your apartment..." she shook her head in disgust.

"Hey- it's okay."

She turned her face away from him and shut her eyes, tears already overflowing her eyes. Her body shook once from being so cold and embarrassed. She was barely aware that he took the seat next to her.

"I know it's not always easy for you Rachel. And I know there are some things about yourself that you think you'd like to change. But you have to know that there's some boy out there who's going to like you for everything you are. Including those parts even you don't like. Those are going to be the things he likes the most."

All the while he was going on in his speech she kept replaying everything that'd happened so far. Finn and the way he played her. Puck who'd just wanted to get with her out of the fact that she was Jewish. And then there was Jesse and the way he made her swoon but seemed to shy away from a legitimate relationship. Sure, kissing was fine with her, she wasn't complaining, but she always felt the need to be more. She looked up at him regardless, tears exposed but no longer shameful. "Thanks Mr. Schue."

The teacher smiled. "Anytime." getting up, he gathered the pot of flowers. "You know Rachel, you never really needed much help with your ballads. You've been knocking them out of the park since day one."

She laughed. "I know." her pocket vibrated and she took out her phone, looking at the screen intently.

_**Meet me outside your house tonight. I need to run something by you.- J**_

Her heart fluttered lightly and her thoughts were interrupted by Mr. Schue. "Coming, Rachel? I was thinking about having a group ballad but I need to consult with every member."

She nodded, stuffing the phone inside her pocket once more. Suddenly the world didn't seem so harsh.

* * *

><p>So, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please correct me in any mistakes made on here (more words=more mistakes). Lol. School starts next Monday, so I'm not excited for that- but education is important. I just I could get my education WHILE still being able to sleep in during the weekdays :P Don't forget to review! They're the rain to my endless drought! Love you guys!<p>

-Fanatic4Fiction


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

So, school has been a pain in my ass! There's too much homework and not enough hours in the day! BUT, I'm not going to say anymore because none of it is nice. And I hope you guys don't hate me for not updating in so long. But man, time flies! Anyway, this is more of a transition chapter, not a lot of drama but lots and lots of St. Berry! Enjoy and don't forget to review!

* * *

><p>Jesse arrived a few minutes before Rachel, silently thanking the graces for giving him a moment to breathe. For the first time in a long time he was nervous. Yeah, that's right. Jesse St. James was nervous as hell.<p>

_Shut up. You're just Jesse right now. St. James would never approve of this behavior._

His tongue moistened his lips and he let out a gigantic breath. He needed to stay calm and remain focused on the current task. For his main objective tonight was to woo Rachel completely.

_What about just being friends? _his counterpart argued.

Jesse's stomach twisted a bit._ That no longer applies. I care about her.. Shouldn't a guy get together with a girl when he likes her?_

_...What if she doesn't like_ you?

He glared at nothing. _Are you kidding? Look at me. _he chided arrogantly before glancing at his clock. According to his time she would be here in less than ten minutes.

_Stay focused. If she doesn't like you then you'll stay friends. No biggie._

But it was a biggie. Deep within himself Jesse could feel the urge to die if she rejects him. In spite of all the arguing he's done to keep from feeling this it was no use. Somehow in the time they'd began talking Rachel Berry had dug deep into his brain and planted a seed. One of which kept most of his recent thoughts about her and his heart aching to just to be near her.

Hell. His life was starting to turn into one of those teenage drama shows like_ 7th Heaven _and all that crap.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a faint blur of lavender. _That's Rachel. _He thought nervously, taking a hold of his guitar case and getting out of his car, walking up to her. "Hey. You made it."

She cracked a smile. "Well, it _is _my house."

His face got warm quickly. "Right... So, can we sit down?" He observed as she gestured to the porch steps. Following suit he sat close to her, leaving only needed space for the guitar.

"I didn't know you played." Rachel stated, looking between the guitar and his face.

He smiled. "There's a lot you don't know about me yet Berry." there was a brief moment of silence before he cleared his throat. "So... The song I wanted you to hear."

"Yes?"

"It's pretty special and I want you to give me your honest opinion after I'm finished, okay?"

The brunette nodded genuinely, hands in her lap as she watched him begin the opening chords. It didn't take long for her to recognize the piece.

_**What day is it? And in what month?**_

_**This clock never seemed so alive**_

She smiled at the verse, looking intently at his expressions.

_**I can't keep up and I can't back down**_

_**I've been losing so much time**_

Ever since they'd met he's been hooked. And after knowing her for approximately three months, he wondered why he never chose to make a move prior.

_**'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do**_

_**Nothing to lose**_

_**And it's you and me and all other people**_

_**And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you**_

Rachel's heart fluttered at the lyrics, making her question as to whether or not he was straight up telling her he liked her. It scared her a bit- what if she misread the whole purpose of it? Maybe he was practicing to sing it to someone else...

_**One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right**_

_**I'm tripping on words**_

_**You've got my head spinning**_

_**I don't know where to go from here**_

The way she moved and talked had him mesmerized from the very beginning. Every time their hands would accidentally brush against each other had him babbling like an idiot afterward.

_**'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do**_

_**Nothing to prove**_

_**And it's you and me and all other people**_

_**And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you**_

_**There's something about you now**_

_**I can't quite figure out**_

_**Everything she does is beautiful**_

_**Everything she does is right**_

Her cheeks flushed and she opened her mouth slightly, trying to control her breathing. Whatever the purpose was with this song was unimportant. Rachel was swooning- hard.

_**'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do**_

_**Nothing to lose**_

_**And it's you and me and all other people**_

_**And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you**_

_**and me and all other people with nothing to do**_

_**Nothing to prove**_

_**And it's you and me and all other people**_

_**And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you...**_

As soon as he was finished, Rachel's mouth attacked his heatedly. He hesitated for a split second before returning the kiss in full vigor. But before he could deepen it any further she pulled away.

"Wait..." Rachel stood up and quickly unlocked her front door. "I don't want the neighbors looking." she admitted sheepishly, holding out her hand for his.

Jesse nodded and took it, pulling himself up. "Rachel." he said as soon as he was inside. Placing the guitar down against the wall, his lips soon reclaimed hers. Her lips tasted faintly like strawberries, driving his senses insane.

She gasped, parting her lips before connecting them once more. Her petite hands tangled themselves into his hair, tugging here and there. Rachel shivered as Jesse's hands grabbed a hold of her waist, pulling her flush against him.

The only coherent word that could pass in her mind was hot. This makeout session was like nothing she'd ever experienced before. Sure, kissing Noah had been fun but with Jesse her skin felt like fine china. Like at any moment she would just break in his grasp from the strong emotions coursing through her.

Physically she knew he was leading her to the couch. And once she was laid flat under him, her teenage hormones started raging, aching for more. Never in her life had she felt like this for a boy. It was absolutely consuming.

Jesse broke their kissing session and looked into her eyes. "I take it you liked the song?" he smirked gently.

Rachel chuckled lightly, touching the back of his neck. "I loved it. I love your voice."

"Me too." he sighed playfully. Rachel weakly swatted his arm.

"Jerk."

He smiled then frowned slightly. "What does this make us?"

"I'm not sure..." Rachel answered. She blinked slowly. "Do you like me enough to put up with all of my high maintenance?"

Jesse laughed. "Yes. Only if you like me enough to put up with my male diva attitude."

"Oh, well I think I can manage."

Their eyes connected. "So this is official?" Rachel questioned cautiously. Inside she was praying it wasn't all a dream.

He caressed her cheek. "I hope so. But Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

He cleared his throat. "Let's be clear: I've never been in an actual relationship. At least, nothing that lasted more than two hours maximum."

She pecked his lips. "I've never had a solid relationship either so... I guess we'll just learn as we go. I like you Jesse, a lot." her cheeks flushed at her words. "And I do want to be with you... I just don't want to get hurt or used." her body shifted slightly so she now laid on her side and he in front of her. "Promise me you won't use me for your own benefits."

His arms enveloped her in an intimate embrace. "I promise."

* * *

><p>"I've invited the Jane Adams girls over for a performance." Mr. Schue announced.<p>

Quinn's eyes widened. "What? Why?"

"Because they don't have an auditorium and we do. Plus, isn't it nice to welcome friendly competition?"

The club members shifted uncomfortably. "When are they going to be here?" Artie asked.

Schuester smiled. "Today. Come on, let's head out to the auditorium." he clapped his hands twice causing the teens to groan.

Once seated, Rachel analyzed the girls currently onstage setting up. They were criminals, no doubt about that. One even had a tiger tattoo on her forearm.

Sure, the judges will love that. she echoed.

The opening chords began and Rachel rolled her eyes. Their choreo was medicore and their vocals not that great. They were no competition.

And as they tried to boom their voices it just wasn't happening. Most of their performance was distraction by waving their hair in all directions. The song finished and the girls raced offstage- like heathens.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a wide eyed Mr. Schuester. Leaning over, she whispered,

"Mr. Schue, you seem concerned."

"What? No! They were great but we're just as good."

"If I may? What they were doing was all smoke and mirrors. It's called hairography."

The adult gave her a strange look. "What?"

"Hairography." Rachel repeated. "All of the whizzing of the hair to distract from the fact that they're not very good dancers. And their vocals were just so-so. Trust me, we have nothing to be afraid of." she finished, prancing off to follow the rest of the members. She left with a good mind, thinking what she'd said had changed his mind, however the next morning was a different case.

"Alright guys, I've got here a new contender for sectionals." he said, holding up a white folder. "It's the title song from Hair."

Rachel's eyes flickered in suspicion. He wouldn't...

"Now, this musical started a revolution in its time."

Finn raised his hand. "But wait, if we're doing the title song from Hair... Shouldn't we have more hair?"

He smiled. "Ah ha. Here are your wigs."

He so would! Rachel's mouth dropped and she stood up, grabbing Mr. Schue by the arm. "Mr Schuester, what are you doing? We're fine the way we are, we don't need hairography."

He shook his head. "I'll admit, those Jane Adams girls did freak me out a bit. We've got to have all options open for sectionals if we want to win."

Rachel shook her head._ Men are impossible_.

* * *

><p>"Are you going to eat that?" Tyler, one of the newest Vocal Adrenaline members, said. Jesse looked down at his current meal and shook his head, watching in astonishment as the member took his plate and started downing it.<p>

_Where does all that food go? _

He shook his head. "You're going to combust one of these days from eating so much." Jesse commented, not moving an inch from his chair despite the disgust.

Tyler shook his head. "Nah man. I dance too much for VA and work out for... Other things." he trailed off and stopped chewing to stare at the lead's wide eyes. "What's wrong with you? Didn't get laid recently?"

Jesse shook his head in annoyance. "Does my face give off that impression or something? I really wish people would quit asking me that!"

Tyler sinked in his seat. "That's what a sexually frustrated person would say."

"I am not sexually frustrated!"

He held up his free hand as the other continued to cut up the food. "Let me ask you this: are you going out with a younger chick?"

Jesse's eyes shifted slightly. "Possibly. What does that have to do with anything?"

The guy shrugged. "Maybe she's nervous. You are the head honcho when it comes to show choirs. Maybe you make her nervous."

"I do not make her nervous."

Tyler shook his head. "Then, does _she_ make _you_ nervous?"

"I'm Jesse St. James, Tyler. I don't get nervous. Ever."

"Whatever you say, bro." he eyed Jesse's drink. "Are you going to finish that?"

* * *

><p>"Ouch!" Rachel swore under her breath as Kurt disposed of the wax strips. Her eyebrows were currently on fire and she couldn't fathom why she'd agreed to this in the first place.<p>

"The key to waxing the eyebrow is that you always shape from below." he tipped. "Trust me, I get a lot of practice, just look at mine." he said before moving to sit on her bed.

Rachel smiled kindly before letting it disappear, curiosity taking over. "Kurt, why did you volunteer to give me a new look?" she saw him shift slightly.

"One: I'm a sucker for makeovers. And two, we need something to distract from your horrible personality.. Most of the time I find it hard to be in the same room with you. Especially this one- which looks like where Holly Hobbie and Strawberry Shortcake come to hook up."

Her eyes examined her room with worry. Now that she thought about it, it did look like that. And the saddest part was that she hadn't actually changed anything to her room since she'd been nine.

This place looked so much cooler back then... she commented.

Kurt sighed and crossed his legs. "You're extremely talented, Rachel. Watching you perform is... amazing. But sometimes it's hard to appreciate what a good singer you are when all I want is to shove a sock in your mouth."

She shrugged. Sure, it hurt a bit that he'd said that but after all these years stuck in the same school district it made them pretty much a daily routine. "Well, what kind of makeover did you have in mind?"

"We need to... Broaden your appeal. I want every boy at school to do a double take when you strut past."

Rachel bit her lip, moving her hands nervously together. "There's really only one boy I'd like to impress." she said, blushing slightly as she thought of him.

_He's tall, dresses nicely... Did I mention he's super hot?_

The boy in front of her looked at her wondering why she'd become so flustered. "Oh? Who might that be?"

"Can you keep a secret?" Rachel asked.

He nodded. "Of course."

"I'm in love with one boy in particular. He's... Amazing." she tried, staring off into space. Rachel heard Kurt faintly coo.

"Aw, who?"

"He doesn't go to McKinley. And he's a senior. We kissed." she finished, her face going completely warm as she gushed out.

"Really? What's he like?"

She sighed. "He's such an incredible singer. And he's refined and mature- he always seems to know what he's doing. Although he does seem to wear black a lot..."

Kurt shook his head. "Doesn't matter! Rachel, you've got yourself a man." he shot up and rubbed his hands together quickly before picking up an eyelash curler. "We're going to make him go so crazy he'll be yours forever."

"So... You're going to help me?" she asked as he put down the curler and grabbed some foundation.

The male starlet nodded excitedly. "I'm a sucker for romances. So of course, why wouldn't I?"

Rachel smiled, feeling special. He genuinely seemed to want to help her. "Thanks for this, Kurt."

He stopped his flurry of movements and smiled back at her through the mirror. "It's no problem."

* * *

><p><em>I make <em>her _nervous?_ Jesse thought as his back hit the comforters of Rachel's bed. He felt her straddle him and her hair curtained their faces, sealing them off from reality.

He breathed deeply as her soft lips paid all attention to his neck, even nipping here and there. It was currently driving his lower half insane. He didn't have a clue as to how they got into this situation, only knowing that it all began when he'd entered Rachel's room to help her with some hairography.

_"Rachel?" Jesse called, plopping down on her rolling chair. Her dads weren't home and it was oddly quiet- but since the front door had been open, he was sure Rachel was here somewhere. He thought that maybe he'd have a few more minutes of quiet, so he started to think up ideas for VA's setlist until a beckoning voice called to him._

_"Turn around, stud." _

_The hair on the back of his neck stood up and he slowly turned around, his jaw dropping in the process. Before him stood Rachel Berry, hands on her hip and a cocky smirk plastered on her face._

What in the world...? _he thought up. _Am I dreaming?

_She was wearing a skin tight black tank with a dark short skirt and white heels. Her hair was set in luxurious waves, begging to be brushed through by his hands. Soft red gloss covered her lips and her eyes were surrounded by smoky makeup that it gave off a whole other impression._

_An impression of the girl knowing exactly what she wants. Him._

Shit... I'm not ready._ he confessed to himself, swallowing a big knot that had formed in his throat. "Rachel?" he repeated._

_"Hello, Jesse. Should we get started?" she asked, causing him to shiver once. Damn, even the way she asked questions turned him on._

Get a grip!

_"Yeah.. What am I here for again?" he said, inching closer to her slowly. _

_Her lips opened and pearly white teeth shined through. "My hairography number for Glee." she closed the space between them and ran a hand through his own locks. "Your hair is good enough to kind of bounce around, so let's get started, alright?"_

_Jesse only nodded as she ran her hand from his hair to his chest, not once leaving his skin. Outside his befuddled mind he could faintly hear the music, not that it mattered. His gaze never once left Rachel's face and it took everything in his will to not have his way with her right then._

_"So... Hairography." his voice cracked a bit as her arm brushed up against him. He inwardly groaned. "Umm... Whipping your hair to distract from the dancing and singing, right?"_

_Rachel nodded slowly. "That's absolutely right." she leaned in close to whisper in his ear. "Now, show me what you've got."_

_He bit his lip before exhaling quickly, his arm grabbing hers gently and facing her in his direction. Looking into her eyes once, he closed the gap between them, bliss overcoming the strain._

_Rachel had been ready for this outcome and quickly deepened the kiss, her hands clutching onto his arms tightly. They were flush against each other, lips together and hearts pounding..._

He felt her hand grap a hold of his belt and his eyes quickly snapped open. In a haste he sat up and pushed her hand away. Rachel frowned deeply as she tried to labor her breathing.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, confused as to why he stopped the makeout session.

Jesse sighed, shaking his head. "No. On the contrary, you were great. But Rachel, do you honestly think I'm going to jump in bed with you so soon? We just started a relationship- not to mention you're a virgin..." he trailed off, not wanting to head in that direction but the damage was done. The lust evaded her eyes and in its place came anger.

"And what makes you think I'm a virgin?"

"A. you told me. And B, if you weren't, you wouldn't be as cautious as you are right now."

Her cheeks tinted redder. "Well, why did you stop if I was the one wanting it?"

"Rachel..." he whispered.

There was a moment of silence before she looked down at her hands, embarrassment taking over. "I'm such an idiot."

His face softened a bit. "No, don't say that."

"It's true," she added, shaking her head. "Not even Finn wanted me like this. What in the world made me think you would?"

"Rachel, I _do_ want you!" he stated, grabbing a hold of her hands. He blinked and stared at her. "I've wanted you like that for a very, very long while now. You're beautiful and so different... I'd been crazy not to want you."

"Then why did we stop?"

"Because I can tell you're not ready. We're not ready for such a serious thing yet. Maybe in the future..."

She snorted. "I just wish we would've cleared that up before I dressed like a complete hooker."

"You do not look like a hooker." he said, rolling his eyes. "Granted, I like the way you usually dress. It's rather cute. It's..." he struggled to find the right words. "It's totally Rachel Berry."

She laughed half-heartedly, forgetting why she was even mad in the first place. He was right. Their relationship needed time to establish a good foundation first.

"Good because heels are totally not me." she smiled and kissed his cheek. "So, hairography."

He smiled brightly. "That's my girl, always talking about business."

Rachel leaned close to press her lips to his, but not before adding, "You know me so well."

* * *

><p>Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and I'm already writing the next few. Don't forget to review!<p>

-Fanatic4Fiction


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

Sorry it's been forever, I had a bit of writers block and no time to surpass it. Speaking of passing, anybody good at Chemistry? Because I SUCK. Haha, well, enjoy and remember to review!

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><p>"We're not getting a yearbook picture."<p>

That's the first thing Rachel heard as soon as she'd walked into the choir room. The rest of the club members stood around the grand piano, a previous Thunderclap in hand. Shock coursed through her veins- not because they weren't getting a picture- but because some of them actually looked relieved.

"What?" she screeched, pushing past Mercedes and Artie, staring intently at Kurt's baby face. "What are you talking about?"

He pursed his lips. "Principal Figgins declared we wouldn't get a Glee Club photo this year-"

"That's completely unfair! We're a legit club and we need to be shown appreciation."

Santana snickered. "The only recognition you'll get Tubs is having a Hitler mustache drawn on your photo."

"I think this is a good thing." Finn mumbled. Rachel's jaw dropped.

She began to storm through the door. "This is not staying this way!"

Her petite kitten anger stormed through the halls and she had every intent to show Principal Figgins just how wrong it was to deprive her of her glory. Her moment. Her picture. The one that would pave its way through history.

"Mr. Schuester, I'm very sorry to interrupt." her eyes looked at the man sitting behind the desk. "Principal Figgins, as you very well know this is my first year in Glee Club and I've just been informed that New Directions will not be offered a yearbook photo. As you might expect, my two gay dads have a very close relationship with the local branch of the ACLU and if it was up to me-"

Mr. Schue placed his hand on her shoulder, cutting her off from her ranting. "It's okay Rachel; it's all good." he smiled. "We've got a spot in the yearbook now."

Rachel beamed. "Fantastic!" She turned to Figgins. "I apologize- thank you so much."

School pictures were everything to her. They were great practice when getting photographed by paparazzi. And as invasive as the press might be, stars depended on them. In general terms, she felt like she needed to be prepared for such stardom that was... Well, impossible not to get.

But in order to accomplish getting covered- Rachel had to try and get into practically every club the school had to offer- it was all for the feeling of people knowing she had to exist... Glee, however, felt different. Rachel loved to sing- it was her passion and she believed in what they stood for. They came from the bottom of the social status: ridiculed and ignored. But now they'd made something of themselves, something that made her heart ache for the need to keep doing it and improving.

_Proud. I'm proud to be in Glee. And I _will _be remembered for it even if it's the last Club photo I ever take._

* * *

><p>"So? What do you think?" Rachel's voice rang in Jesse's ears, causing him to snap out of his dazed state. His pale eyes looked at her, blinking slowly.<p>

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

She smiled and shook her head. "About Glee's photo in the Thunderclap. Mr. Schue gave me the task of finding a Co- Captain."

"Co- Captain? I thought everybody had voted for just you."

She frowned. "They did... But he wanted two people representing the club." Rachel rolled her eyes in disapproval. "I guess the sad part is that no one else wants to take the picture. They're all too afraid of being de-faced."

His hand found hers, pulling Rachel from her spot on the couch to lay beside him. It was Thursday, their usual date night, except for the fact that it'd been a stressful week for him.

Rachel seemed to notice because her soft hand caressed the side of his face gently. "What's wrong?"

Jesse looked at her. "Just tired, nothing major."

She straightened herself. "Everything that pertains to you it major. Now tell me what's wrong."

"It's a week from Vocal Adrenaline's sectional and Shelby keeps us rehearsing 'till two in the morning." he licked his lips. "But I guess that's the price I pay to be the best of the best."

She smiled. "You're such a miva."

He opened one eye curiously. "Miva?"

Rachel giggled and nodded. "Yes, Jesse. Miva. M-I-V-A."

"What in the world is a MIVA?"

"Male diva."

His eyes glanced at her amused expression. "Rachel?"

"Yes?"

"Can I offer some advice?"

She kissed his cheek. "Yes, you can."

"Why don't you ask the male lead from your group? Maybe he'll come around."

Her pearly white teeth contrasted with her pink lips as she bit her lip. "Okay, I'll give it a try if..."

He raised a brow.

"If you kiss me senseless."

He smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."

* * *

><p>She caught Finn on the way to lunch. He'd been talking with his football buddies when she approached him quickly.<p>

His eyes widened and briefly excused himself from them, turning around as fast as he could and walking off.

"Finn! I'm desperate." she huffed a bit, keeping pace. "Glee club needs you."

"Look: I'm totally honored you asked me but don't you think you need someone who cares?" he halted for a bit, "I mean, not that I don't care but..."

Rachel's hands started to flail."Glee club only started working when you joined. Face it; we wouldn't have all of the cheerleaders and football players if it weren't for you!"

He sighed. "You know I love Glee- but I just don't see why I have to represent it."

She groaned and forcefully clutched the sides of his jacket, turning him around fast and glaring into his eyes in complete seriousness. "Because you're a leader Finn. And that's what leaders do. They stick their necks out for the people that they care about." she paused, letting it all sink in before continuing. "There are stakes here. If we don't try to lead then we don't win Sectionals and if we don't win Sectionals the club is over. I- I can't do this all by myself."

Finn stared at her, breathing roughly. "You won't have to. I'll take the picture with you- for Glee."

Rachel smiled. "You won't regret this Finn. I promise."

"I sure hope not..." he mumbled, smiling before walking away. Rachel watched him leave, completely satisfied with her results. She finally had a Co- Captain.

In the midst of her triumphant moment, she didn't notice that Jesse was waiting in the parking lot for her. In fact, he had to walk over to her, trying not to laugh as she smiled her dopey smile.

"If I didn't know you I'd be worried about the way you're smiling there." he commented, wrapping his arms around her. "Ready to go?"

She turned around and pecked his lips before shaking her head. "Walk me to the choir room. I need to get a few things."

"Your wish is my command."

The choir room was empty but unlocked. Rachel walked toward the piano and collected her sheet music. There was a faint click as the door shut behind Jesse.

"It won't lock, will it?" he asked, sitting down in a chair.

Rachel shook her head again. "Doubt it. It's never locked." Suddenly she dropped what she was doing and swerved to face him. "Jesse?"

"Yeah?"

"This might sound silly but do you ever practice smiling for the paparazzi?"

He threw his head back and laughed. "If you promise not to tell- yes. Sometimes I do."

She let out a breath. "Okay good. I thought it was just me."

"Sometimes we just have to smile." he whispered. This seemed to trigger something in Rachel because she smiled brightly again, picking up a packet of sheet music. She handed him a sheet and quickly turned on the stereo. The opening chords to Lily Allen's "Smile" started.

_When you first left me,_

_I was wanting more._

_You were kissing that girl next door_

_What you do that for?_

Jesse smiled, backing up the song with soft vocals._ (What you do that for?)_

_When you first left me,_

_I didn't know what to say._

_I have never been on my own that way,_

_Just sat by myself all day_

Rachel let her hands graze his arms teasingly. His reaction was awe and she saw his eyes sparkle in amusement.

_I was so lost back then,_

_But with a little help from my friends,_

_I found a light in the tunnel at the end_

_And now you're calling me up on the phone._

_So you can have a little whine and a moan._

Her lips kissed his neck briefly and she sat on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. Jesse smiled, holding onto her waist with his hands.

_And its only because you're feeling alone._

_At first, when I see you cry, yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes me smile_

_At worst, I feel bad for awhile, but then I just smile, I go ahead and smile_

_Whenever you see me,_

_You say that you want me back.(want me back)_

_And I tell you it don't mean jack,(don't mean jack)_

_No it don't mean jack (no it don't mean jack)_

_I couldn't stop laughing,_

_No I just couldn't help myself,_

He placed a kiss on _her_ neck and she responded by jumping up, playfully slapping the back of his hand.

_See, you messed up my mental health,_

_I was quite unwell_

_I was so lost back then,_

_But with a little help from my friends,_

_I found a light in the tunnel at the end_

_Now you're calling me up on the phone,_

_So you can have a little whine and a moan,_

_And its only because you're feeling alone_

If Jesse didn't know any better, it was like song- foreplay. Rachel swayed her hips teasingly, knowing very well that he wouldn't surpass his boundaries- at least not right this second. And it only made him want her all the more.

_At first,_

_When I see you cry,_

_Yeah it makes me smile,_

_Yeah it makes me smile_

_At worst, I feel bad for awhile,_

_but then i just smile,_

_I go ahead and smile_

_[lalalalala] _They both sang, voices meshing and harmonizing together perfectly. It was meant to be.

_At first,_

_When I see you cry,(see you cry)_

_Yeah it makes me smile,(makes me smile)_

_Yeah it makes me smile (makes me smile)_

_At worst, I feel bad for awhile, (feel bad for awhile)_

_But then I just smile (but then i just smile),_

_I go ahead and smile(go ahead and smile)_

He pressed his lips to hers in a soft kiss, causing her to giggle. No matter how much time they spent together, Rachel ceased to surprise him. She kissed him again just as softly and he smiled. Yeah, they definitely had their smiles down.

* * *

><p>When she'd woken up that morning, Rachel felt great. Her skin was (thankfully) flawless after last night's facial and her hair looked fantastic. It was until she arrived to school to take the photos when the uneasiness kicked in.<p>

_He wouldn't ditch me, right? _her internal voice asked as she made her way to the assigned room. She knew that Finn cared about his reputation and the fact that taking this picture with her meant hurting it... But was he capable of literally ditching her after he'd already promised to do it?

She shook her head._ Stop it- he'll be here. _Clearing her throat to get the photographers attention, she smoothed out her outfit.

"Can we wait a few minutes for my co- captain? I'm sure he's just running a bit late."

The man nodded. "Sure."

A few minutes soon grew to half an hour and finally the guy sighed, standing up, causing her to grow suddenly nervous.

"Could you please take your seat now?" he asked her.

Rachel blinked. "He-He'll be here."

The guy looked at his watch. "Look, I've got somewhere to be so please, can we get this done?"

"Just a few more minutes, please?" Rachel begged.

He sighed. "Just five."

When the five minutes were finally up, he looked at her with a certain annoyance. "Can we shake a leg here?"

Rachel quit playing with her hair- a nervous habit- and nodded. "Fine. I'm ready... I guess I'll do it by myself." she was still situating herself on the chair when the camera clicked, panic flooding her. "Wait wait!" she said. "I insist on only being photographed from the left side." He gave her a look and she turned, sitting up straight. She tried to look happy but it wasn't working. The disappointment in Finn was more potent than her want for this picture.

He stopped taking pictures, grimacing slightly. "I kind of need to see your smile."

Rachel let out an exasperated breath. "I'm sorry- it's just that my colleague was supposed to be here and he bailed and I just... I just need a minute." she said, walking desperately to the mirror. Her reflection was sad and it only made her feel more crappy.

_Great. You look like crap_. there was a moment of silence before she thought inwardly again_. Snap out of this. Stop caring about what other people think of you... Or how much they disappoint you. Life sucks sometimes- you know that. _she thought pessimistically. _What's that song about overcoming professional and personal disappointments? _another pause before a light bulb when off in her head._ Oh yeah! _

_"When you're smiling, when you're smiling,_

_The whole world smiles with you."_

Although the song normally made her happy, this current situation only made the effect fall flat. But nevertheless, she had to go forth with it.

"I'm ready." she stated, taking her place once more and smiling bright, burying her previous disappointment.

After a few more shots, he nodded.

"Done."

She frowned. "Wait, that's it? I have 17 more poses!" she exclaimed. "I haven't even shown you my over-the-shoulder pose!"

He shrugged, packing up. "Sorry kid- I've got a casting session in half an hour."

She froze. Casting session? _That's an opportunity to show off my acting talents._ "For what?" she asked excitedly.

"My brother in law is shooting a commercial for his store, I'm directing it." he smiled to himself like it was a compliment. "I just do these school photos for the money."

Her mouth opened. _Now's the perfect time! _Suddenly she feigned sadness, even throwing in a sob. His eyes widened and he looked worried. Good. she thought.

"Oh, okay don't do that. I can take a couple more pictures of you if you want."

She smiled in satisfaction. Her head looking up. "I can cry on demand. It's one of my many talents. I'm very versatile." she stood up, hands on her hips, letting her diva qualities show. "And aside from nudity and animal exploitation, I'm willing to do anything to break into the business."

He scrambled for an excuse. "Well, you seem very talented and all but I need- there's other speaking parts too. I need like, a bunch of other actors too."

She nodded, thrilled to have the resources to get this going. "I can help with that."

When she'd explained it all the the club, they were thrilled and willing. Even Finn- not that it mattered, she was still pretty upset by the fact that he cared more about his own face than the actual club. But when the day to shoot finally came around and Rachel held an actual script in her hand, she found it disappointing.

As did everyone else. The guy who'd taken her school pictures said it was just because they couldn't see the 'brilliancy' of it, but Rachel smelled a stinker. It wasn't until Noah had suggested singing a song for the commercial that her mood lightened up.

Rachel wasn't one to have fun with a whole group but singing "Jump" whilst jumping on large towers of mattresses gave her an adrenaline rush. She was smiling, genuinely smiling, and having a good time with her peers. It was a nice change from the usual scowls they gave her. And after the shoot, she skipped out to the parking lot to meet up with Jesse whom had offered to pick her up despite his busy schedule.

"So? How was it?" he asked her, pulling into the street.

Rachel beamed. "It was so cool! We got a crappy script but we, being an actual working team, managed to make it interesting with a song." she breathed. "I think that's the first time I've jumped on a mattress tower. It was nice."

He smiled, looking from the road to his girlfriend. His eyes twinkled as he watched her finally being happy after hanging out with her 'friends.' "You really had fun, didn't you?"

She toned down the smile and looked at him. She felt like she was radiating happiness. "Very much so." she leaned over and pecked his cheek. "Thanks for picking me up, by the way."

"That's what any knight would do for his lady." he added, switching hands so he steered with his left and held Rachel's small hand with his right. He felt her squeeze his hand lightly and made his heart skip a beat.

* * *

><p>"But we don't want to go to Sectionals without you." Artie said as Mr. Schue propped up the used mattress against the rest of them. The whole group looked disappointed by the fact that their director was getting punished for something that was all Rachel's doing.<p>

He sighed. "It's without me or not at all. Look, I slept on the mattress which means I accepted them, not you guys." He stepped forward. "Which means I'm disqualified."

"He's taking the bullet for us." Puck summarized and Rachel looked sadly at the floor. Guilt made her skin itch and she sighed.

"We've worked too hard for you guys not to get your shot."

Finn broke the silence. "We can't do this without you, Mr. Schue. We probably can't do it even if you were going."

The director's eyes narrowed a bit. "That's not true! You guys are good. Really good. You did that commercial without me, right? It proves you can." he spanned the classroom. "The best teachers don't give you the answers, they point the way and let the students figure it out. That way, you get all the glory. And you deserve it." he paused and let it all sink in before continuing his spiel. "If you can't win without me then that means I didn't do my job. "

Rachel cleared her throat. "We're really sorry, Mr. Schue."

He smiled sadly. "I know... I want you guys to get gussied up. I want to see you take that Glee Club photo with pride."

They nodded and after half an hour, stood together, as a group, and posed as the photographer snapped shot after shot. Like a real team. Like a family. And to Rachel, for that one moment, it seemed like maybe, just maybe they'd be able to do this

* * *

><p>It was a bit more Rachel- centric. There's a steamy St. Berry moment in the next chapter ;)<p>

Don't forget to review!

-Fanatic4Fiction


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

HAPPY NEW YEARS! Holy crap! It's 2012! :D Enjoy!

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><p>"And in first place: Vocal Adrenaline!"<p>

Jesse let his enthusiasm of winning yet another Sectionals take over his current worried mood. Yes, he was worried. Why? Because their obvious win placed them in Regionals and in the district competing against Lima... Meaning if New Directions advanced he would have to compete against his girlfriend.

He winced. _This isn't going to end well... I can tell._

Tyler grabbed his shoulder in victory. "We did it again man. We. Are. The. Bomb."

He gave Tyler a strange look. "The bomb? You sound like an adult trying to be 'hip'."

"It's us. We're the reason VA keeps getting consecutive wins."

"By 'us' you mean all the senior members, right? Not just me and you... Right? Because I hate to break it to you but I've got a girlfriend and I'm not gay."

Tyler's eyes widened. "I'm not gay. I like pu-"

Shelby Corcoran's booming voice rang above the victory cries of the younger members. She looked at Jesse and smiled unenthusiastically. "Jesse. Remember that next Saturday we're going to watch the Lima district Sectionals."

He nodded once. It was a usual tradition for senior Vocal Adrenaline members to spot the competition. But it wasn't like any of it mattered. They knew that there truly wasn't any competition.

_And there it is... My usual cocky self._ he thought pessimistically. He thought he was passed it now that Rachel was in his life. What if she ends up advancing to Regionals and things get bad? What if we don't make it to...

Jesse's hands suddenly turned cold, his fingertips numb. Shut up. Stop thinking that way.

He fixed his composure despite the sudden queasiness in the pit of stomach.

I mean, she wouldn't break up with me just because of her team, right?

* * *

><p>"Hey guys, did any of you think it was weird how Puck rushed to Quinn's aid during rehearsal yesterday?"<p>

Artie fumbled an excuse. "No. He likes her- I mean, they're friends."

The rest of the group mumbled similar responses, rendering Rachel's suspicions unsatisfied.

"Look. I've never told anybody this but I'm a little physic."

Mercedes let her jaw drop and she saw Brittany edge away from her.

"I can't read anybody's minds yet but I do have a sixth sense. Something is definitely going on there."

Kurt sighed. "Why would you care Rachel? It's not like any of it pertains to you."

Rachel frowned. "I know that- I'm just genuinely concerned. Finn is my friend and I don't want him to get hurt."

"I thought you were pissed at him because he ditched you in the yearbook photo." Santana sneered.

The brunette bit her lip. "I was then I realized that it was silly. It's not like he even really cared. And unlike him I do care about his well-being."

"Rachel can I speak to you in private please?" Kurt whispered, grabbing a hold of her elbow. Rachel let herself be tugged out into the hallway and looked blandly at Kurt.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb, Rachel. What happened to the guy I dolled you up for? Did your inconvenient crush on Finn ruin the relationship or something?"

Rachel's mouth hung open. _The nerve he had! _"I'm in a relationship Kurt, okay? I care about Jesse way more than my stupid crush I had for Finn a long time ago." she explained.

He seemed unconvinced. "Sure. Then why do you want to start meddling in Finn's life again? Things are going so good right now and I can tell that you're going to pry your way into his life again and ruin our chances at Sectionals."

"Despite what you think of me being worried about Finn, it's merely because we're somewhat friends- not because I like him that way." she began to retreat, unhappy. "Can't a girl care about a guy without being _in love_ with him?"

She was walking down the hallway after third period when it suddenly hit her. Was_ Puck _the father? He and Quinn were both popular- were being the key word in the equation.

_But he's Finn's best friend._ she countered. Rachel bit her lip. There was only one way to find out and that was by interrogating Quinn. She began to make her way to the blonde's locker when Mercedes passed and exclaimed, "Hey hot mama."

Her eyebrow rose._ Wow. Random_.

She caught Quinn just as she was about to leave. "Hey. I know it's not my place but have you had your doctor run a full genetic test panel on your unborn child?"

Quinn gave her a look.

"I only ask because my cousin Leon and his wife got pregnant and then they found out he was a carrier for TAYSAX."

The blonde shook her head. "What's that?"

"It's a genetic disorder; a pretty bad one from what I hear."

She watched as Quinn's eyes widened a bit and she shifted from one foot to the other.

"Leon's baby was fine but it was still pretty scary."

She shut her locker. "My doctor never mentioned that..."

Rachel's spine felt a chill. This was it. The bomb. "You know, I'm such an idiot. They would only run the test if one of the parents was Jewish. Only Jews carry the gene."

"Oh." Quinn didn't seem any less relieved but Rachel held her chipper tone.

"Well, see you in rehearsal!"

When fifth period rolled around, Rachel held up a folio of Jazz Hands as she spied on Quinn who was, uncannily, arguing with Puck. She could faintly hear her explaining the lie Rachel had fed her about the genetic disorder. Her suspicions were confirmed.

_Game. Set. Match._

The first half of the class went by like a breeze. Ms. Pillsbury had been chosen by Mr. Schue to accompany them to Sectionals. Rachel found it slightly warming. The ginger was so crushing on Mr. Schue and it amused Rachel to watch her do these crazy antics just to spend time with him. If you thought about it- she wasn't all that different from Rachel.

"What about the ballad?" Finn asked. This broke her revenue of thoughts as she realized they were going over their set list.

Her overconfidence showed through. "I'd be more than happy to contribute something from my repertoire."

Ms. Pillsbury seemed overwhelmed when Mercedes had objected, standing up and walking toward Rachel. In fact, the diva thought she was going to punch her or slap her.

"Listen here. I've worked just as hard as you and just as good as you. I'm sick of you always stealing the spotlight."

"Mercedes, do you honestly think you're as good of a balladeer as I am?" she turned to the counselor. "Ballads are kind of my thing."

However, the adult encouraged that Mercedes show off her talent so Rachel sat and watched as Mercedes gave a stunning performance of "And I Am Telling You".

It blew her away. And that's when it was clear. Being a team player meant that sometimes you had to step down and let someone else enjoy the spotlight. And who better than Mercedes? She deserved it.

So after her performance she complimented her and gave her a long hug. Surprisingly, Mercedes didn't punch her and she thought it was a good start.

* * *

><p>"That was cool. What you did back there. I know it must've been hard for you."<p>

"It's the only way to bring the team closer together." she reasoned, crossing her arms.

Finn opened his locker. "You know, I'm really pumped for Sectionals. These past couple of months have been hard what with school, football, Quinn and the baby..." he shoved his backpack in the locker and shut it, looking at Rachel. "I just think that if we win it'll make things good for a while." he sighed. "Is that stupid?"

"It's not stupid at all."

"Is something up with you? You seem upset."

She bit her lip._ Do I tell him? God, what if I ruin everything?_

She stared at his face and she couldn't bear to see him get hurt.

_But they're lying. I have to._

"Rachel? What's wrong?" Finn pressed.

_Kurt's right. It's not my place to meddle in his life. He's just another Glee member... My somewhat friend who I can't bear to have him hurt... He's an asset to us. _

She looked at him, settling on her decision. "I'm just nervous about Sectionals. This'll be my first Glee competition."

His face settled. "Nah, it'll be okay. I know it will."

She looked down, feeling crappy. She needed to tell someone this, anyone.

"Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom." she shoved everyone that was in her way and shut the bathroom door, locking herself in the girl's room. She looked into the mirror and at her reflection and felt disgusted.

Liar. Such a liar.

"I hate myself." she said out loud, starting her venting process. "When you care about someone, you can't watch them suffer." she turned on the faucet, staring at the water. "I can't do it: why? Because it's not my place to tell poor Finn that Quinn's lying- everyone is. He's not the father of her baby- it's Puckerman!" she exclaimed into the drain. She wasn't stupid, she didn't shout but it was far from a whisper. "Noah Puckerman is the father of Quinn's baby- not Finn."

Relief flooded her as she finally let it all out. Feeling content, she shut the faucet and opened the door, walking out as she smoothed her skirt over. And unfortunately Rachel was too preoccupied to notice Jacob Ben Israel walk out of the girls bathroom with a sly smile on his face.

* * *

><p>Boy. The surprise Rachel got when she walked into the choir room after school was immense. She'd forgotten her Jazz Hands folio in the room and Jesse still hadn't arrived; which meant she could quickly run in and pick it up.<p>

But it didn't happen that way. She knew something was up when most of the club was scattered around with shock on their faces, gasping. There was a faint groan and a grunt coming from the middle. She pushed her way through and gasped as Finn punched Puck again and again.

I don't understand!

Mr. Schue ran in and jerked Finn off of Noah who bolted up and wiped his bloody mouth. "Knock it off!" he shouted.

"TELL THE TRUTH!" Finn shouted, trying to get close to Noah again. Mr. Schue pushed him back again.

"This punk just walked in and sucker punched me!" Puck explained.

Finn growled. "You're too dumb to play dumb!"

"Who told you this Finn?" Quinn sobbed, cradling her baby bump.

"Obviously it was Rachel!" Kurt accused. Rachel's jaw dropped and she crossed her arms.

"I didn't do anything!"

"No, it wasn't Rachel. It was Jacob Ben freaking Israel!"

Quinn looked confused. "What?"

_What?_ Rachel suppressed.

"It's all over the school website Quinn!' Finn yelled, pushing Matt and Mike away. "But I want to hear it from you- the both of you."

"Finn. Calm down." Mr. Schuester said.

The teen recoiled. "NO! They're both lying to me!" he calmed down a bit but didn't tone down the bitchy tone. "Is it true? Just tell me if it's true."

The blonde's frame shook slightly as she walked toward him. She sobbed once and nodded. "Yes." she whispered. "Puck is the father."

An uncomfortable silence followed as everyone registered what she had just confessed. Finn looked shocked and Rachel felt guilty.

"So everything... the hot tub. It was a lie?"

"You were stupid enough to buy it." Puck commented. Finn growled and charged again only to be stopped by Schuester.

"I am so, so sorry." Quinn said, crying. She tried to grab his arm but he tugged it away.

"No. I'm done. I'm with you." he glared at Puck. "I'm done with you- all of you!" he said again, bolting out of the room with anger.

"What the hell are we going to do about Sectionals?" Mercedes said.

Rachel groaned. This week couldn't get any worse.

* * *

><p>"This is a disaster!"<p>

They weren't even there for a full hour and already something had gone wrong.

"Those delinquents! Those snakes!" Mercedes yelled, crumbling a water bottle. Rachel wanted to cry.

They were at Sectionals, going last, and already another team had stolen two songs from their set list. The team was lost: Artie kept ramming himself into the wall, Jacob Ben Israel (speak of the devil!) had wet himself and they didn't have a male lead. Rachel knew now that they were going to lose.

"Rachel, can you go get me another bag of skittles?" Brittany asked, sitting dazed on the couch. Rachel looked at her weirdly.

"Can't you do it yourself?"

Brittany blinked slowly. "I can't count money."

She rolled her eyes, getting up. "Ugh, fine."

As she walked out into the lobby she couldn't help the stinging of tears. She needed someone to lean on. She needed Jesse.

* * *

><p>He craned his neck, trying to find Rachel in the lobby whilst waiting for the next group to go on. Looking at his rolled up program he already knew that she was going last. But that wasn't the bad part- he was defying strict rules by sneaking away to surprise Rachel.<p>

Obviously it was a wasted effort because now he couldn't find her.

"Jesse?"

He turned around and sighed, relieved. Rachel was standing there, a bag of skittles in her hands and a confused look plastered on her face. He gave her a hug.

"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked, not pulling away from the hug.

He kissed her neck. "I came because I'm on VA duty. Seniors always scout out the competition. Are you nervous?"

She shook her head. "I'm worried and stressed."

He pulled back to look at her. "Why are you worried? You've got this in the bag."

Rachel whimpered. "The other two teams stole our set list and our male lead ditched us. We're doomed."

Jesse sighed, kissing the top of her head. "Those bastards. Don't worry- you guys are talented. It'll be okay."

Rachel pulled away from the embrace. "I have to go, the team needs me." he nodded. She sighed and planted a long, slow kiss on his lips before walking away. "Can you stay and wait for me after this? I'd like it if you took me home."

He nodded. "Anything for my lady."

* * *

><p>"Okay, first let's start with a ballad." Rachel stated, trying to make order of the current chaos seeping from the room. "Mercedes, do you have anything else in your range?"<p>

She nodded meekly. "Yeah but nothing that compares to what you could do."

Rachel pressed on. "But we agreed you would sing-"

Mercedes stood up. "We agreed that I'd sing 'And I'm Telling You.' However, I'm telling you that that isn't going to happen." she looked at Rachel. "The truth is, you're the best singer that we've got."

"She's right." Kurt interjected. "If anyone is going to go out and belt it on the fly it should be Rachel. She's our star."

Chagrin flowed through her as she tried not to smile or feel flattered but she couldn't help it. "Well, I do have something that I've been working on since I was four."

"Then we have our ballad." Quinn said. "And we can close with 'Somebody to Love'. It's a real crowd pleaser."

Puck snorted. "Yeah, that and a can of soup guarantees us third place."

"I have something."

Rachel's head shot up at the sound of Finn's voice. Tina squealed and there was a sudden unity to the room. He'd changed his mind.

"I found the sheet music online and I think that we can pull it off." he tossed a stack of papers on the glass table. "Matt, Mike, Brittany, Santana, you're our best dancers. Figure something out and we'll all follow you."

"It's going to be choppy." Mike commented. Finn nodded.

"Good. We work best when we're loose."

He ignored Quinn and Puck and walked straight up to Rachel who was still leaning against the wall.

_Oh god. He's going to give me a spiel._

"You wanted the chance for a solo and to be the star. Well there you go. Don't screw it up."

She smiled. "Thanks for being here."

_Yep. The spiel._

* * *

><p>Jesse grew uneasy as he sat in the crowd waiting for New Directions to go on. What Rachel had told him worried him a bit. It seemed like she really, really cared whether or not Finn was there. To be honest, he was a tad bit jealous.<p>

Tyler must've noticed this because he nudged him with his elbow. "Cheer up Jesse. There's just one more group before we can go."

Jesse just grunted. The announcer walked on stage and he immediately sat up straight, eyes solely on the the stage.

"And now our final performance: New Directions!"

The lights dimmed. The audience squirmed in their seats as a brief paused took over before the familiar chords of Barbra Streisand's Don't Rain on my Parade blasted through the house. Jesse smiled. Of course. She's such a show tune junky.

_"Don't tell me not to live_

_Just sit and putter!"_

Her flawless voice drew him to immediately snap his head behind him, toward the audience entrance. And there she was. In the spotlight, eyes shining bright as her chest heaved to belt out the lyrics.

_She was marvelous. Brilliant._

He watched, infatuated and entranced, as she walked and sung her way down the aisle, stopping here and there to accompany the lyrics. As she made her way on stage he couldn't help but edge closer in his seat. Her voice was just so damn good. He could tell that adrenaline was fueling those final moments of the song because of the way she moved and looked straight into the lights.

_Intoxicating_. That's the word that kept his mind entranced by her performance as she held that long, final note. And when she finished, he and the rest of the crowd stood up, giving her a standing ovation. And oddly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shelby smile (genuinely) and stand up as well, clapping with what looked like pride.

_How weird. _he thought. She'd normally never smile or clap when in regards to the competition. It was no surprise when the judges announced them in first place, either.

He was half ecstatic for Rachel and half uneasy. This meant he was going to compete against her in Regionals. And knowing his luck, things never stayed the same.

_Shit._

* * *

><p>"Oh my god! Jesse, we did it!" Rachel laughed, closing the door in her room to hug Jesse tightly. "My god, it's a miracle."<p>

He hugged her back just as tightly. "See, I told you everything would be okay!"

She pulled back and he could see her eyes were wet, causing him to frown.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

She hugged him again, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. "You just always seem to know exactly what to say."

His core radiated with warmth. "Well, I am older."

She snorted. "Two years. Yeah, that's so much."

Jesse laughed, placing a chaste kiss on her shoulder. "I really like you, Rachel."

The brunette pulled away and smiled at him. "I really like you too Jesse." then she frowned slightly. "And I know you're worried about competing against me in Regionals."

He licked his lips. "Yeah... That."

She led him to her bed where they both sat down, still holding hands. "You have to know that I don't want it to affect our relationship. You're the first guy that I see myself being with for a long time... And I need to know if you feel the same."

Jesse swallowed. "Rachel. I-I've never had anything long term. Nothing worth remembering... But it's you. I can't see myself with anyone but you." he paused. "I thought you said that Finn had ditched you guys today."

She nodded. "He came back to save the day." She saw him nod and her mouth opened slightly. "Jesse, are you jealous?"

He gave her a look that said _'Are you kidding me?'_

"You are!" she responded, smiling and kissing his neck for a split second. "There's nothing there Jesse. I liked him for what, three weeks before I met you?"

"That's a solid three weeks." he choked out. "When you like someone... It never truly goes away, Rachel. Whatever you liked in that split second that caused you to notice and well, fancy him, is still there."

"Jesse-"

He shook his head. "What I'm saying is that, I know you like me more but there's a part of you that could still like him."

Rachel sighed. "But there isn't. Jesse, I kissed Finn after I had already met you. And you know what happened?"

He waited.

"Nothing. Not a single spark. But then you kissed me and it was the Fourth of July all over again."

He smiled and his blue eyes stared at her. "Really? Fourth of July?"

She nodded. "Shut up, don't let that get to your head."

"So you care about me that much, huh?"

Rachel bit her lip. "Yeah, I do."

Jesse showed his teeth when he smiled this time, leaning into her and kissing her softly. He was about to pull away when Rachel's small hand held onto the back of his neck and kissed back with more force. And it was chain reaction. Just like that he deepened the kiss, his hand grazing her bare arm. His other hand played with the hem of her short black dress.

Rachel found it hard to breathe properly as Jesse peppered her neck with kisses. His hand kept skimming her arm, causing her to tremble from the sensation. She shifted slightly, making it easier for them to lay down. He lied down on top of her, careful not to crush her with his weight.

_I love you... _Jesse thought inwardly as he kept kissing her. He knew it was too early to think of their relationship as love but that's how he felt. And right now his rational side was thrown out the window.

Every kiss was electric, sending shivers down her spine and she instinctively arched her body into his, causing him to groan and pull slightly away. She did it again and he stopped kissing her but his lips never leaving her skin.

"Rachel," he said huskily. "Please don't tempt me."

Her hands grabbed his face gently so she could look at him. "Sorry, I-I'm new at all this." she pecked his lips once more before sitting up. "Sorry."

He ran a hand through his hair. "It's okay. We're in a relationship. Kissing is a guarantee."

A thought crossed her mind. "Jesse?"

"Yes?"

She furrowed her brows. "Have you... Told anyone about us?"

Jesse shook his head. "No. I haven't. Why?"

Rachel bit her lip. "Are we going to keep this a secret forever?"

"I'm not sure. Do you want to?"

Rachel shrugged.

Jesse sighed and he looked at her in all seriousness. "Would you regret it if people knew?"

Her dark eyes were unreadable when she sighed. "No."

* * *

><p>So I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Don't forget to review! Oh gosh, I'm excited to see how "Hell-O" will go down now that Rachel and Jesse are already together, aren't you guys curious? Well, send me some feedback! :D<p>

-Fanatic4Fiction


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. If I did then I wouldn't be as miserable as I am this season. Sorry, but it's the truth.**

Sorry for the gigantic absence. There were complications in my life that I'd rather not repeat- aside from the usual stress of the buttload of schoolwork and such. I hope you enjoy the chapter!:D

* * *

><p>So this was what it was like to be a winner.<p>

The halls seemed to part as her energetic stride kept her going. Rachel could still hear the opening chords of "Don't Rain On My Parade" inside of her head and it just made her want to smile all the more.

Well, it's about time we're recognized for our obvious talent.

"Hey babe, looking good!" Mercedes greeted cheerfuly. Clearly, she wasn't the only one excited about their victory.

Rachel nodded. "Feeling good, Mercedes."

"This is amazing! Ever since Glee club won Sectionals everybody looks at us differently."

"I couldn't agree more," Rachel commented. Behind them they faintly heard Jacob Israel proclaim his stalker love to her.

Mercedes rolled her eyes and Kurt cut in. "We're glitterati- I feel like Lady GaGa."

"Oh, get used to it, guys," the brunette said. "We're stars now on par with all the jocks and popular kids. It's the dawn of a new era here at McKinley and we are going to rule this school!"

But knowing her luck, every word seemed to retract as her face came in contact with the iciness of slushy. Her mouth dropped open as Karofsky and Azimio laughed.

"Welcome to Loserville. Population: you!"

So she was mistaken. Hell, it wouldn't be the first time.

Great. She thought sourly. Beside her Kurt whimpered.

"This is Armani..."

Mercedes groaned. "I knew I should've brought an extra pair of clothes. I always did before."

"I guess this was too good to be true," Rachel sighed, blinking and trying to regain her vision.

* * *

><p>"St. James!"<p>

Jesse halted and turned slightly, a small smile forming on his lips. Some things just never changed- like the sweet recognition of moving from Sectionals to Regionals. It was the usual greetings whenever he brought home yet another first place trophy.

_Look at me, calling the hallways of Carmel High home._

So he let people pat his shoulder, shake his hand, and of course, give high fives. But did it really matter anymore? He could remember his freshman year when he'd first gotten his golden trophy. There were stars in his eyes when people congratulated him so genuinely. Jesse honestly thought that it'd never get any better than this. Yet with time the feelings of excitement faded. It began to be the usual boring routine and the only time he ever got that rush of excitement was when he performed.

Of course, there was another contributor: a petite statured, boisteriously confident brunette who, although was two years younger than him, possessed such authority. And now that he thought about it, it'd been a while since they'd last hung out in person. Jesse didn't count video chatting or phone calls.

_Maybe I should surprise her, _he thought half heartedly.

* * *

><p>"Hello?" Mr. Schue asked again and this time, the group of teenagers shuffled and laughed, returning his greeting.<p>

"What do you guys say when you answer the phone?"

Mercedes smiled, "What up?"

"Who this be?" Artie said.

"No, she's dead. This is her son," Kurt answered gloomly. Nobody moved.

"Oh-kay," Mr. Schuester commented. "Alexander Grambell, inventor of the telephone, liked to say 'Ahoy ahoy' when he answered the phone. It was Edison who later decided that 'hello' was a more appropriate greeting." he waited for comments but when no one did, he continued but with a little less enthusiasm. "I am really proud of what you guys did at Sectionals. But, as most of you have realized by now, it hasn't made a bit of difference in your daily day at school."

"I have a slushie stained training bra to prove it," Rachel interjected nonchalantly.

Mr. Schue continued on, "Fact is, we're going to have to be better, even more spectacular at Regionals. It's time for some reinvention. Some new New Directions. We need a new 'hello'." he pointed to the board and smiled. "Here's your assignment for the week: come up with a fresh number but it has to have 'hello' in the song title. Alright?"

Rachel felt Finn squirm and her forehead crinkled. She leaned forward with concern stricken on her face, "Are you okay?"

"I hate when he does that. Gives us assignments that are so specific- I never know what to do, you know?"

She nodded. "If you want, I can help you find something?" she offered. Behind her she heard Santana snicker.

"Careful Finn, being friends with Yentil here might drag you down further in the food chain."

Finn's eyes widened slightly but continued on. "How about tomorrow?"

Rachel shrugged. "Sure, how about here before rehearsal?"

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

><p>"...However, we need every single one of you to give this packet to your parents. Both must sign in order for you to go on to Nationals, am I clear?<p>

Chris yawned. "It's nearly one in the morning, can we go now? I still have homework."

Shelby Corcoran nodded and tossed him the thick packet. "When I hand you a packet then you're free to go," she handed Jesse one. "And Jesse? Congratulations on the UCLA scholarship."

He smiled small. "Thanks Ms. Corcoran."

On the way to his house, Jesse couldn't stop thinking about his entire senior year so far. He had friends, he'd been to parties, he'd dominated Sectionals yet again. Hell, he'd found someone to care about. And now, he'd officially been accepted to the one place he dreamed about attending since before he was a part of Vocal Adrenaline. Of course, he'd always known he was a shoe in but when the official documents had made it into his mail in the morning, everything had just turned utterly realistic.

But throughout all of his achievements, there hadn't been anyone to talk to about it. His family didn't care- they never had. The only thing they ever did for him was provide money so he'd shut up and not bother their all too strictly scheduled lives.

He reached his driveway, parked, and opened his front door cautiously. The lights were off and he tiptoed upstairs to his bedroom. Tossing the packet aside, he grabbed a stickie note and a sharpie.

_Sign ASAP. For VA. -Jessie. _

He sighed, plastering the note on the front of the packet and descending the stairs again. His hand carefully pulled at the handle of his dad's office door. He let the thick pack of papers slam on the metal desk. He caught a glimpse of a photo on the surface. It was a St. James family portriat- old, because there Jesse was only nine years old. The fake smiles of his parents made him want to vomit.

Hypocrites.

The door creaked. "Jesse? What are you doing in my office?"

Jesse turned around to face his father. He'd expected him to be in his pajamas but he was fully dressed in his suit. His eyes scrunched slightly as if trying to get a better look.

His father shifted. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just that, it's one in the morning. Shouldn't you be in bed?"

He cleared his throat. "Shouldn't you? It's a school night."

"I had rehearsal. Just got home."

"Oh."

Jesse watched his father place his briefcase down beside the desk. His eyes were dark and seemed secluded. That's when he noticed the small stain of red lipstick on his white collar shirt.

This wasn't his father- this wasn't the man he'd known nine years ago and it pained to see that Mr. St. James, head of the household, was a cheater. Out of all of the negative aspects he had, this was the worst. In fact, he wasn't a man but a coward. And what Jesse saw was a coward who was probably the biggest hyopcrite, snarkly, inconsirable asshole.

"Do you need something?" Mr. St. James questioned, authority heavy in his tone. Jesse shook his head.

"No, I think I'm done here."

* * *

><p>So, she was mad.<p>

Rachel had waited half an hour in the choir room and Finn never showed up. During rehearsal he'd avoided her gaze and it started to piss her off. After the bell rung, he practically ran out of there but oh, he'd have to do much better if he wanted to avoid the wrath of Rachel Berry.

Finally, she spotted him at his locker surrounded by Santana and Brittany. They dispersed once they saw her coming their way and bumped her shoulder on the way past her.

"What did they want?" she asked hotly.

"Oh, nothing- just the time," he mumbled while avoiding her gaze. Shrugging away from her, he walked on and she followed.

"I know that being my friend is a challenge. I'm not Quinn- I don't have an impressive social status accompanied by what you call 'groupies'. Not to mention my personality- it's very high maintance but.." she sighed, dragging him by the arm and aside from the crowd. "I'll always be honest with you because you're my friend. But all I ask of you is that you be honest with me."

"I don't want to be your friend," he answered with the tone of not caring whether it destroyed her or not.

"W-What?" she stuttered. Was he being serious?

He looked away. "Look Rachel, you're really awesome and stuff but I think it's better if I try to get my-"

"Place in the social ladder back?" she offered. His feet suddenly caught his attention.

"I just want to find out who I am," he said at last.

_And the jock knows English!_

"I'll tell you who you are," she started. Uh oh, she could feel a long speech coming on. "You're a scared little boy. You're afraid of being my friend because, although you'd never say it out loud, your reputation is all you care about. You'd rather be surrounded by those who abandoned you the minute you joined Glee but me," she choked up a bit. "I just see you for you are. Unlike you who can only see me as this silly girl who made a fool out of herself at our first Glee club rehearsal. And that's where you lose, Finn. Because if you'd take a second look at me, then you'd see a person who cares who will support you, no matter what." with that final word, she bowed her head and walked away, trying to avoid the people in the hallway that bumped into her. She couldn't let them see her this fragile, not now.

Although they hadn't been close, Finn's outward confession reminded her of who she was, and where she stood in the school. He reminded her that although she was talented, she'd have no friends to truly share the talent with.

And that made her want to break all the behind the grief lied anger. She hated the way he'd handled things and she was going to show him at their afterschool Glee rehearsal. She passed through the agonizing hours of her classes but jumped when the final bell rang. She darted to the choir room and waited until everyone gathered in and Mr. Schue gave his spiel. When he asked who was ready, her hand shot up and he nodded for her to go. Oh, Finn was going to pay.

_**...I wake up every evening**_

_**With a big smile on my face**_

_**And it never feels out of place.**_

_**And you're still probably working**_

_**At a 9 to 5 pace**_

_**I wonder how bad that tastes**_

_**When you see my face**_

_**I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell**_

_**When you walk my way**_

_**I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell**_

_**Now where's your picket fence love?**_

_**And where's that shiny car?**_

_**Did it ever get you far?**_

_**You never seem so tense, love**_

_**I never seen you fall so hard**_

_**Do you know where you are?**_

She glared at Finn as she sashayed her hips. He seemed to shrivel in his chair and it brought her satisfaction that for once, she was the one singling him out. The sudden endorphin rush made her feel ultimately powerful- strong, and so very independent.

_**And truth be told I miss you**_

_**And truth be told I'm lying**_

_**When you see my face**_

_**Hope it gives you hell, Hope it gives you hell**_

_**When you walk my way**_

_**Hope it gives you hell, Hope it gives you hell**_

_**If you find a man that's worth the damn and treats you well**_

_**(Treats you well)**_

_**Then he's a fool you're just as well hope it gives you hell**_

_**Hope it gives you hell...**_

The members clapped and soon chattered in the comments about how well she'd sung her rendition of such a good song.

If only everyone had praised. Mr. Schuester sighed, "Guys, guys! I don't want to be a buzzkill but, the assignment was 'hello'."

"Sorry, I was focused on the first syllable." Rachel explained with sass, glancing at a not so amused Finn Hudson who was still planted in his original seat.

"You know what? I don't think you guys understand the seriousness of what we're up against. While we were busy winning Sectionals, Vocal Adrenaline was busy winning theirs. They are last year's National Champion. They haven't lost a competition in three years," he emphasized. The group looked down with soft guilt. "This is the big leagues, guys. And if we don't place at Regionals, Glee club is over."

Rachel breathed out, feeling like she'd just hurt the team. Her eyes darted back to Finn one last time. He'd gotten under her skin this time, but never again. From now on, Rachel couldn't care less if he was her friend or not. This was about Glee- this was about winning for the team. Nobody was going to get in the way of that, ever.

* * *

><p>The day had been hell. Literally. Not that he was tormented or anything- no, that never happened to him. It'd been bad because although he'd found out about his father's indiscrepancies, he couldn't tell his mother. If he did, it would crush her.<p>

Now, he found himself at the local music store trying to find something good to opt for as VA's Regional set list but his heart and mind just weren't into it today.

He almost missed the brunette hair pass by him on the way to the piano song books. Looks like he didn't need to schedule a meeting place with Rachel because here she was, forcefully looking for something in the pile of books.

He walked up to her silently. She had her face completely covered with a Lionel Ritchie book and he smiled, letting his hand gently lower it down until he saw her face.

"Lionel Ritchie, huh? One of my favorites."

"Oh my god, you're Jesse St. James," she teased. He chuckled softly. A smile crept up on her lips. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

She shrugged indifferently. "I have an assignment and this is one of the best music stores within driving distance of Lima. What about you?"

"I needed ideas for our Regional set list." he just couldn't take his eyes off of her. It'd been a couple of weeks since he last saw her in person but she hadn't changed at all. Her eyes were still a soft brown and her cheeks still had a rosy tint to them that complimented her olive skin. He glanced at the Lionel book and took it gingerly. Rachel's eyebrows furrowed in question. "Come on," he said, leading her to the grand piano in the middle of the store.

She looked at the people who were staring. "Jesse, what are you doing?"

"It's okay, Rachel." he answered, scooting to one end of the piano bench. He waited until she sat down with caution. "I do this all the time."

"In here?" she squeaked.

He nodded as another chuckle escaped his lips. God, she was just so cute sometimes. "Yes, now we're going to sing together, okay?"

She nodded and watched with admiration as her boyfriend began playing the piano. The opening keys to "Hello" filled the air and people began to gather around, waiting for the show.

_**I've been alone with you inside my mind**_

_**And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times**_

_**I sometimes see you pass outside my door**_

_**Hello, is it me you're looking for?**_

His voice made Rachel want to melt- hell, in fact, she felt like her bones were turning to mush right then and there. And with that twinkle in his eyes it seemed like he knew just exactly what he did to her.

_**I can see it in your eyes**_

_**I can see it in your smile**_

_**You're all I've ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide**_

'_**Cause you know just what to say**_

_**And you know just what to do**_

_**And I want to tell you so much, I love you …**_

She sat down tentatively. Her arm momentarily brushed against his, sending a wave of electricity coursing through her veins. The way their voices blended together was amazing- they seemed to perfectly harmonize naturally. In a way, it seemed as if it were meant to happen this way.

_**I long to see the sunlight in your hair**_

_**And tell you time and time again how much I care**_

_**Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow**_

_**Hello, I've just got to let you know**_

As the tempo built up, so did Jesse's heartbeat. In fact, singing something like Lionel Ritchie had never been too enjoyable for him but as he mended his voice to Rachel's angelic one, suddenly the song seemed so much better. He had to pay extra attention to make sure his fingers didn't slip up and play the wrong key. Vaguely, he knew people were looking at him. But inside, the only thing that mattered were Rachel's endless brown eyes.

'_**Cause I wonder where you are**_

_**And I wonder what you do**_

_**Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?**_

_**Tell me how to win your heart**_

_**For I haven't got a clue**_

_**But let me start by saying, I love you …**_

When they were done, she couldn't stop from blushing and looking down. There were so many people that had stopped what they were doing and watched them sing. She'd never had stage fright but for someone to notice her that quickly? Well, it'd never happened before.

"Do you want to grab a bite?" Jesse offered, closing the book.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah, I'm starving."

* * *

><p>Friday morning, Rachel was greeted by Finn who looked a little flustered.<p>

"Can I help you?" she asked sourly. The tall boy shuffled his feet a bit.

"Look," he started. "I know I screwed up by telling you that I didn't want to be your friend. But after everything that happened with Quinn and Puck... I don't have anyone else to talk to."

She pursed her lips before slamming her locker shut. "What made you change your mind?"

"I realized that people don't really care about me anymore."

"Well, I'm glad you've come to that realization, but you're too late. The other day at Glee was the last time I had anything left to say to you. You made it perfectly clear that you didn't want to be my friend. I'm only obliging to your requests."

"Why are you being so bitchy?" he retored angrily, stopping her from walking away. "When I first joined Glee, you were kind of all over me... But after the whole thing with Mr. Schue quitting to join a boy band, then me joining it then it going down the drain... You've been distancing yourself away. Why?"

Now, I could either straight up tell him about why I had lost my brief obsession with him or I could tell him to go to hell...

She remembered when Jesse had asked her if she'd regret telling people about their relationship and how she'd said no. Well, now was the perfect time to prove that.

"If you really must know, it's because I've found a boy who cares about me in a way that goes beyond superficial entities."

"A boy?" he stated dumbfoundly. "Do I know him? Is he bigger than me?"

"His name is Jesse St. James and if by bigger you mean older then yes, he is. He's a senior and I couldn't be happier to have found someone who shares my passion for show choir."

"He's in a show choir?"

"Yes- he is."

Finn huffed. "Rachel, is there by any chance a reason why he's dating you? Say, maybe because he's our competition?"

"For your information, Hudson-!" she started. "I started dating him way before we even performed Sectionals. In fact, we've been together that long."

"You've got to be joking!" he exclaimed.

"Hardly, now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to Geometry." Rachel smacked his arm away and smiled, feeling overly-confident. She felt like nothing could touch her now.

Wow, and I freaked over what? I just told somebody and everything is ay-okay.

_Rachel opened the door to the choir room. The girls plus Kurt had directed her to meet them precisely at the start of lunch. And hey, who was she to skip out on 'friends'?_

_"Hey guys!" she exclaimed enthusiastically._

_"Cut the butter, Benedict Arnold," Kurt interjected, causing Rachel to frown. "We heard about your new boyfriend."_

_Wow, rumors travel fast._

_"Look, Rachel. We're all happy that you're happy but we've worked too hard in Glee club to let you throw it all away on a relationship that might not even be real."_

_I can't believe this!_

_"We heard about his little... Team," Kurt added._

_"Why?" she asked. "Because he's in Vocal Adrenaline?"_

_"Their motto translates to 'Murder or be murdered'" the boy added, crossing his arms._

_"They also give their dancers human growth hormone," Tina said. Rachel rolled her eyes._

_Mercedes shook her head, "Look, we're not saying the dude is playing you-"_

_"-He's playing you," Rachel almost wanted to smack Kurt for his stupid, biased attitude. _

_"We just think that until Regionals are over, we can't risk the possibility that he is," the sassy diva finished, placing her hands on her hips. _

_"None of us want to go through what happened at Sectionals again," Tina commented, crossing her arms now._

_Rachel interrupted before anyone else could speak up, "Okay, seriously? You decide to use that as an example of why I shouldn't continue my relationship with Jesse? You didn't go through that! Quinn, Puck, and Finn did. So you know what? Stop making it about yourselves. Not everything has to do with you!" she turned to Kurt next. "And just because I have a boyfriend, it does not give you the right to assume he must have an ulterior motive. You know, I can be pleasant if you'd all just stop with the assumptions and get to know people!"_

_What. A. Hypocritical. Group. Of. People!_

_"Oh shut it, Rachel. You were the one idolizing Finn when this whole thing began." Kurt bit back. "Just because you have one boyfriend, it doesn't mean you're in love. If anything he just wants to get in bed with you."_

_Don't say anything you'll regret, she thought over and over again. There was a pause until she built up the courage to talk._

_"Okay, look. Jesse and I might not be true love... But what if we are?" her voice wavered a bit, making her sound fragile when she really didn't want to be, however with this situation, she wanted to get the point across that hey: this has nothing to do with anything else but herself and Jesse. Either accept it or don't. "I know who I am... How many chances at this am I going to get?"_

_Mercedes looked at Kurt and he seemed to contemplate something. After a short second, he responded. "If you don't break up with him- you're out."_

_Her mouth dropped open. "What? You can't do that!" she screeched._

_"We can if we must," Tina said. _

_Artie nodded, "And we can all quit if Mr. Schue doesn't kick you out."_

_"Well, good luck finding someone to win Regionals with," Rachel bargained. _

_Kurt flipped his hair once and glared. "Everyone is replacable, even you."_

_"How could you do this to me?" she asked desperately. "I thought we were a team?"_

_Mercedes stepped forward, "How could you do this to us?"_

_Excuse me?_

_"You? Um, last time I checked, you're not in my relationship. You don't get to just thrust yourselves into the scenerio."_

_She ignored Rachel's comment. "We're a team, and all you've ever wanted was for us to be great. To be a part of something special. Now, is that still true or not?"_

_"I-I don't know." she looked at all of their faces once before settling on Mercedes'. "Honestly? I don't have a clue anymore."_

_"Then hurry up and figure out which side you're on because if you can't make the decision, we're making it for you," Kurt finalized._

So that's how Rachel found herself wandering the auditorium of Carmel High. She would've just called him but she felt like this was too dire for a phone call. Oh, who was she kidding? She just wanted to see his face when she told him about the ultimatum.

"Jesse?" she projected across the stage. Nobody answered and she was getting antsy. Suddenly, bright lights nearly blinded her and her hands immediately went to her tote bag. "Who's there?"

No answer.

"I carry a rape whistle!"

"It's just me," Jesse chuckled from the alcove. He had his hands in his pockets and a smug grin plastered on his face. Obviously she didn't find it very funny.

However, she relaxed from her stiff position and let out a heavy breath as he walked towards her. She took a few paces herself, tucking her hair behind her ear and away from her line of vision. "I have to ask you something," she started. He nodded once. "And I need you to tell me the truth because if you don't then there will be consequences. Life and death consequences,"

Jesse's eyes widened at the 'life and death'. What could possibly have her being so drastic?

"We've known each other for a few months now... But I need to know why you haven't just dropped me. I care about you and I know you've said you care too but... How do I put this? I...I'm not ready for... Uh- See, if I give myself to you and it turns out that you're just playing me- I might die." she held up a hand to stop him from saying anything. "Not literally but emotionally, like Barbra in 'The Way We Were'."

"Oh my god," he finally said with a soft laugh. His hands found her waist and he pulled their bodies together.

"What?" Rachel grumbled.

"You're more of a drama queen than I am." he licked his lips once. "What's gotten into you that's made you doubt my feelings for you?"

"Everything. People found out about us and they disapprove. In fact, they threatened to kick me out of New Directions-"

"They did what?" he asked with a concerned tone. "They can't do that just because we're together."

"That's what I said but what can I do? That school is full of hypocrites."

"I know the feeling. My own dad is a hypocrite."

She frowned. "Jesse, please answer my question."

There was a momentarily silence before he pushed her slightly away. Her eyes looked at him in question. He took a step back and held out his hand.

"Hi, I'm Jesse."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm proving to you that I don't care what anyone else thinks of us and that there's no way in hell we're breaking up just because they say so- now shake my hand."

Rachel shook his hand.

"Everyone knows Jesse St. James: star of Vocal Adrenaline and your competition at Regionals. But for you- and only you... I'm introducing you to Jesse. The guy who's nuts about you and would never do anything to hurt you," he held onto her hand tightly. It'd been so long since he'd been nervous. "They might never understand but it's you that I care for. I don't care for my team winning when I'm with _you_. Rachel, you make me a better person... Someone I hope makes you realize just how special you are."

Rachel's lip quivered with threatening tears and she let herself fall into his awaiting arms. They encircled her and she felt warmth radiate throughout her.

"Hey," he whispered. She fit so perfectly into his arms, almost like they were made just for her.

She let a few tears escape as she clutched onto him for dear life. Rachel never wanted this moment to be over- ever. She just felt so safe and secure in his arms. "I don't want anymore people to know about us- they won't understand."

Jesse sighed, letting his chin rest on the top of her head. "If that's what you want then okay."

She removed her head from his shoulder and looked straight into his clear eyes. "Thanks."

He leaned in and she met his lips halfway. The kiss was chaste, almost as sealing their conversation and when he pulled away, she saw the hunger he had. Rachel was warm all over and she let out a breath before pressing her mouth against his again. He responded enthusiastically and deepened the kiss. They were both so enveloped in the kiss to notice that Shelby Corcoran had been witnessing the entire conversation.

A small smile played on her lips as she turned and stealthily left the two teens on stage. Fate just kept coming back to bite her in the ass and she was used to it now. But as she pushed open the exit door, Shelby couldn't contain her thoughts from trying to piece together a way to get Rachel on her side.

* * *

><p>Again, my apologies for the longest wait in the history of forever. Be expecting more updates later in the month, and then in June and July :D<p>

Feedback is highly considered and appreciated, you guys reviewing inspires me to keep writing- it's my muse.

-Fanatic4Fiction


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

It's been a while, I know. *Slaps herself* I'm such a bad kid. Kidding. No seriously. Anyway, here's The Power of Madonna! Don't hate me if you don't like the ending! Please? *Puppy dog eyes* Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"Can I ask you guys something private?"<p>

Santana smirked, "Yes, you should move to Israel."

Rachel ignored her mean insult and pursed her lips, grabbing a chair and moving it to the front of the girls. She situated herself and looked at her hands, "It's about dating."

Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Not that I'm dating anyone- you all know that I broke up with Jesse."

Mercedes nodded in approval.

The nervous brunette cleared her throat. "But let's just say I was dating someone. Let's just say that hypothetically, we went to a Wiggles concert last Friday night and because my dads weren't home, we went p to my room and started making out. And it was erotic and romantic and then he said-"

_"-We should do it," Jesse rasped in a moment of heated kisses and tender touches. Rachel froze and ceased any movement._

_Way to go, St. James. he thought sourly as he felt her freeze._

_"What?"_

_His eyes widened and he pushed himself off of her. "Sorry- I honestly had no idea where that came from."_

_"Jesse, it's okay. Really," she said, grabbing a hold of his hand. "You just caught me by surprise."_

_He gave her a look of desperation, "It's just that... That used to be the old me, before I met you, I mean. I guess it's been a while since..."_

_Her eyebrows furrowed until she got the message. "Oh. Oh."_

_"Yeah..." he trailed off. "I know we aren't ready but it's just when you do things like this... I just can't think straight anymore."_

_Rachel squeezed his overly heated hand and leaned over to brush her lips against his. He pulled away sharply._

_"Like that! Stop...!" he exasperated, jumping off of her bed. Rachel's brown eyes went wide._

_"Jesse? Where are you going?"_

_"I'm sorry Rach, but I just need to think- I need to go before I do something to mess this up,"_

_With that final word, she watched as her boyfriend practically sprinted out of her bedroom._

"What if then he got really crappy and left and didn't even take home the Care Bear I won for him while playing ski-ball?" Nobody said anything and she added, "I know I'm getting older and these things are going to happen, but how do I stop a guy from getting mad when I say no?"

"Just do what I do," Santana offered. "Never say no."

"Yeah, totally. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?" Brittany said. Quinn looked down in embarrassment. "Sorry Quinn..."

"Look, girl..." Mercedes started, shuffling her feet. "The last guy I liked was the mayor of Gaytown so don't ask me."

Tina shook her head. "We just have to accept that guys don't care about our feelings,"

She proceeded by telling how Artie had practically ordered her to change her wardrobe if they were going to be an item. Rachel's jaw went slack.

"That's gotta sting," she said.

Mr. Schuester treaded carefully towards the group of girls. "Sorry to interrupt your little sorority but... Are you girls really having that much guy trouble?"

"You wouldn't understand Mr. Schue, you're a guy." Quinn explained.

He shrugged, "Well, have you tried talking to Ms. Pillsbury about this?"

Rachel sighed, "I've tried that."

_"Wow, this is a hot button topic, isn't it?" the counselor stuttered, her small hands drumming nervously on her desk. Rachel had her legs crossed and she wondered if this was even a good idea. "This is the perfect chat to have with your mom," she offered._

_"I have two gay dads," Rachel stated._

_The redhead's eyes widened. "Okay, umm... How about your Rabbi?"_

_"I don't feel comfortable talking about this kind of stuff with Rabbi Greenberg... Aren't you a guidance counselor?" she asked, the older woman only stilled her hands._

_"Uh..."_

* * *

><p>"What a crock," Andrea said, placing a small bottle of juice on the lunch table. Usually Jesse just went off campus for lunch but his entire moods have been thrown off by his petite girlfriend. "Jesse, you're my best-friend but I've just got to say: what an asshole move you played on her!"<p>

"What?" he argued. "All I asked her was if we should do it,"

The tan girl sighed and tsked him lightly. "Jesse, you should never ask a girl if she wants to do it,"

He ran a hand through his hair. "I know. But it was a spur of the moment kind of thing. It'll never happen again. It's just that she... She..."

"Drives you crazy?"

He smiled small. "Yeah, exactly. It's the way she looks at me.. It's like I'm the most important thing in her life, aside from music, of course."

_And her lips, soft silky hair, and not to mention those sexy legs... Snap out of it! You're at school!_

"Aw, Jesse. It's so nice to have you walking around like a lost little puppy," his brows furrowed but she went on. "So answer me this: if you were to ever, in the near future, have the opportunity to sleep with her, would you?"

"Well, if she's ready then yes, I would. But considering our age difference and the fact that we're suppose to be enemies, I'd have to take things slow. I like her a lot, Andrea. And I'm definitely not about to mess it all up just because of my hormones."

"My, my, my," she cooed. She swallowed her mashed potatoes and stuck out her hand. "Nice to meet you, new and improved Jesse St. James,"

He shook his head. "No, just Jesse." He shook her hand then resumed to his meal.

"So, tell me exactly how things went down at her house on Friday night," Andrea demanded, taking another bite of potatoes. "And don't water anything down for me, I love deets."

His mouth pursed as he remembered the past events.

_"I'm sorry Rach, but I just need to think- I need to go before I do something to mess this up," he scrambled, throwing on his jacket and quickly walking out of his girlfriend's bedroom. He just couldn't stay in the same bed with her without wanting to completely ravish her body._

_How did everything turn to crap so quickly? One minute they had been talking, then she'd kissed him and somehow he'd had her pinned down under him, his hands roaming all over her body and her mouth placing butterfly kisses on his neck. Then his flurry of paradise had dissolved when he'd mumbled a stupid suggestion._

_'We should do it'... Seriously? How much more idiotic could he get?_

_But how could he help himself? She was just so beautiful and it'd been months since he'd last done the deed. Yet there was no way in hell that he would let her see him so desperate and open- as much as he cared about her, he wasn't about to go all fragile. He'd already made his desire obvious to her by the tightening in his pants whenever they'd make out. Honestly? His body was getting tired of the gentleman act despite his reasoning telling him to continue doing so for Rachel's sake._

_Well, fuck... what does a sexually frustrated male lead do? _

_Jesse licked his lips as he got in his car, the opening chords of Madonna's 'Burning Up' ringing inside his head. Funny how songs seemed to fit whatever current events were happening in his life._

_**Don't put me off coz' I'm on fire,**_

_**And I can't quench my desire,**_

_**Don't you know that I'm burnin' up for your love?**_

_**You're not convinced that that is enough,**_

_She was just so damn stubborn... There was only so much he could do to make her open up to him more without offending her. He'd learned a few things about his girlfriend through mistakes. But no matter how heated the moment got, they'd never crossed the threshold when they were centimeters from the line. She would take him on the journey and just before reaching the destination, she'd pull him back to the starting point._

_**I've put myself in this position,**_

_**And I deserve the imposition,**_

_**But, you don't even know I'm alive,**_

_**And there's a pounding in my heart, it just won't die,**_

_**I'm burnin' up!**_

_He wouldn't give in to his desires, not yet. He cared for Rachel and when the time came to make love, then he would prepare and make sure everything was perfect. So whether that time came in six months or six years, he didn't care. She was worth waiting- he just knew it._

_**Whoa-oh-oh-OH!**_

_**I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for your love!**_

_**I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for your love!**_

_**I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for your love!**_

_**For your love!**_

_When he reached his house, all he could think of was locking himself up in his room and praying he wouldn't get the urge to take advantage of her. He'd be a monster if he did so when she was clearly not ready._

_Yet she had the courage to cover herself in bread crumbs and jump right in the frying pan, huh?_

_Don't even think about it! his reasoning argued._

_**You're always closing the door,**_

_**Well, that only makes me want you more,**_

_**And day and night,**_

_**I cry for your love,**_

_He'd courted her, he'd been the perfect gentlemen so far.. So why was she still so guarded? If he even mentioned sex her cheeks would flame up. Of course that never helped his situation, in fact, her flushed cheeks made him wonder if they could get any redder if she were ever under him, naked and screaming in pleasure..._

_**You're not convinced that that is enough...**_

_**To justify my wanting you**_

_**Now tell me what you want me to do,**_

_**I'm not blind and I know,**_

_**That you want to want me but you can't let go,**_

_Could it be possible that maybe she was still hung up on somebody back at McKinley?_

_Well, there's Finn.. But she gave up on him before she met you, right? he thought sourly. I'm not sure..._

_**Come on! Let go!**_

_**Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, burnin' up!**_

_**I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for your love!**_

_**Oh! Oh! Oh!**_

_**I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for your love!**_ _**Oh! Oh! Oh!**_

_**I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for your love!**_

_**For your love!**_

_**Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh!**_

_**Do you wanna see me down on my knees?**_

_**Or bending over backwards now, would you be pleased?**_

_**Unlike the others, I'd do anything...**_

_**I'm not the same,**_

_**I have no shame,**_

_**I'm on fire!**_

_He shut his eyes and leaned into his pillow, relishing the memory of the night. They'd gotten to her house to find it empty, with a very brief note on the fridge explaining her parents' whereabouts. _

_Figuring now that they weren't surrounded by children, he placed a hungry kiss on her lips. Rachel had responded quickly, her small hands running and latching onto his curls. His own found their way to her waist, pulling them close so they were pressed up against each other. The heat of her body made his ache more prominent._

_She pulled away momentarily to mumble something about her bedroom. He nodded meekly and let her lead the way and once they had reached the destination, she'd thrown herself on him again. His immediate reaction caused them to fall backwards onto the comforter. Her petite figure was pinned under him and his lips sucked and nipped lightly at her collarbone, earning a small moan from her._

_That small sound fueled him even more. His hands were roaming crazily over her body and his own heavy breathing seemed to spark something inside of Rachel. It gave her a confidence boost to hitch her leg onto his waist, causing him to inwardly groan at the new friction._

_So this was what heaven felt like... he'd mused, pressing his mouth to hers in a heated kiss. And just as he thought she was about to allow him to go any further, his mouth had blurted out four words that sent them far from the paradise they'd been in five seconds ago._

_**Ohhhhh!**_

_**I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for your love!**_

_**Burnin' up for your love!**_

_**I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for your love!**_

_**Oh, burnin' up!**_

_**For your love!**_

_**I'm burnin' up! Ooh, ooh, yea I'm burnin' up,**_

_**Burnin' up for your love!**_

_**I'm burnin' up! Ooh, yeah, I'm burnin' up!"**_

_Jesse honestly didn't know how much further he could go on with Rachel teasing and restricting him. He was getting more desperate by the hour but no matter how much his hormones raged, he would. Not. Throw. This. Relationship. Into. The. Gutter. He just couldn't._

_Why not? She's not putting out... one side of him argued intensely._

_The other half of him sighed, Because she may not be 'putting out' but she's got so much more to offer. Would you rather have a one time fling or have an actual meaningful relationship?_

_Silence._

_**Ohhh, yeah!**_

_**You know you got me burnin' up, baby**_

_**You know you got me burnin' up, baby**_

_**Burnin' up for your love!**_

_**Burnin' up for your love!**_

_Are you willing to throw everything away for your desires?_

_Somehow, Jesse had the suspicion that he wasn't just thinking about sex anymore._

"Hello?" Andrea snapped her fingers, bringing him out of his reverie.

Jesse blinked slowly, "Nothing happened. We stopped and I went home."

The teen girl didn't look satisfied but she sighed, not uttering another word.

* * *

><p>The bell rang and Rachel gave a sound of pure distaste. She put her phone away quickly as the seats around her filled up... Well, the seats in front of her did. Nobody bothered to sit by her (not that it mattered anymore because at this point she was pretty much used to it).<p>

What bothered her was the fact that Jesse had been ignoring her the entire day. She'd texted and tried to call him numerous times. She had tried to convince herself that it was because he was a senior and super busy, but as the day progressed it dawned on her that maybe things weren't okay between the two of them.

_It might be because I practically shunned him on Friday night..._

Mr. Schue said something and Rachel snapped out of her remorse. She had to focus because since when did a boy dictate Rachel Berry's life?

_Well..._

"I'm still not down," Puck argued, his distaste about the new current topic of their discussion: Madonna. "No chick intimidates Puckzilla. I just don't think that her music translates to show choir."

"Really?" Rachel asked dumbfounded. "I for one couldn't disagree more,"

Her motivation was fueled by her necessity to prove him wrong and for her own frustration. She was tired of being the pushover people took her for- especially now after she was in a relationship that grew more and more sexually tense.

_**"Come on girls, do you believe in love? 'Cause I got something to say about it. And it goes something like this"**_ Rachel started with so much energy. Something about singing a song with such empowering lyrics always gave her that special rush.

_**Don't go for second best baby**_

_**Put your love to the test**_

_**You know, you know, you've got to**_

_**Make him express how he feels**_

_**And maybe then you'll know your love is real**_

The girls followed her lead perfectly and she knew that they all felt the same way. They were tired of the guys pushing them aside because they thought they were superior. But as they watched dumbfounded from the audience at the girls giving the performance their all, she felt smug.

Superior? In. Your. Dreams.

_**You don't need diamond rings or eighteen karat gold**_

_**Fancy cars that go very fast**_

_**You know they never last, no, no**_

_**What you need is a big strong hand**_

_**To lift you to your higher ground**_

_**Make you feel like a queen on a throne**_

_**Make him love you till you can't come down**_

Quinn saw Puck eying her in question. She knew what he was thinking: _why the hell are you doing this? It's stupid and pointless._

She threw him a look that might've just said the opposite. _Yeah, well, so was sleeping with you._

_**Don't go for second best baby**_

_**Put your love to the test**_

_**You know, you know, you've got to**_

_**Make him express how he feels**_

_**And maybe then you'll know your love is real!**_

They all lined up, pumping up for the final words all the while blowing the rest of the members away. Mr. Schuester was astonished that the girls could pull off such energy right after having the boys talk them down. It was suffice to say that he felt... Proud. He was proud somebody in this school was taking up the notch.

_**"Express yourself!"**_

* * *

><p>He'd just gotten through with his final class of the day when his phone buzzed for the umpteenth time today. Jesse sighed, feeling it was time to face the wrath that was his girlfriend.<p>

"Hello?" he spoke through the receiver.

There was a crackling in the background. "Hey! You answered!"

"Yeah. That's what happens when you dial a number, Rachel. People answer."

"Well, I've been calling to ask you if you were busy tonight. I was hoping you could come over and... hang out?"

His lips twitched. "Hang out?"

"Yeah. You know, two people having a good time together. And besides, I need your help rehearsing a new Madonna number."

Jesse straightened his posture as he walked out into the parking lot. "Well, I'll be right there."

Rachel rearranged her blue skirt twenty times while pacing her bedroom. She was, to say the least, nervous about her plan. She'd called Jesse over for a reason... But it wasn't to hang out. She planned to do it tonight.

Yes, it. Get it over with. Do the deed. Pop the cherry.

Sex.

She blushed just thinking about it all. What was she suppose to do, anyways? Just lay there while he did his business? Was there something specifically that aroused him?

Her eyes widened.

Oh, god. What if he's just not attracted to me in that way? What if he takes one look at me and-

"Rach?"

She spun around to face Jesse's concerned face. Who knows how long he'd been standing there and watching her silently freak out.

"Jesse. Hey," she said, trying not to sound too nervous. Her voice mustn't have wavered because he smiled a bit after that.

"So, shall we begin?"

Rachel nodded and grabbed the sheet music from her desk. "Just press play on my iPod, please."

He grabbed her iPod and pressed play. The opening piano of the song started and he glanced at the title of his sheet music. "A mash-up?"

"Yeah, I thought it'd be fun." Her plump lips moved in sync to the beat as she sang the opening stanza and like always, Jesse was mesmerized by it.

Soon, he joined in and whilst they were going at it full force, Rachel shot up and grabbed his hands in hers. He obliged, moving instinctively with her. She let go of him and circled him over and over again like a little minx.

The way she was looking at him... It set his body on fire.

Her hands seductively grazed his chest and she traveled so his back was facing her. His eyes rolled to the back of his head when she tugged on his coat, signaling for him to take it off. Jesse gladly obeyed, shredding the piece of clothing with gratitude... Was it getting hot in here? He couldn't quite tell.

Rachel's dilated pupils met his astonished blue irises as she pushed him down on her bed. She gently climbed on top of him and she ran her hand across his stomach, flying quickly down lower...

He felt a small tug on his belt and that was his awakening. His eyes widened in alarm at the realization of her plan. With a gentle nudge, he pushed her onto the bed and stood up, glad that his arousement wasn't extreme to be a bulge in his pants yet.

"What the hell, Rachel?" he exasperated.

Her dark eyes raised an eyebrow. "Did I do something wrong?"

Jesse shook his head. She can't do this, she couldn't just tease him when she knew, she knew he wanted more.

Concern was stricken on her features. "Jesse, I thought this was what you wanted!"

He licked his lips, "But not this way, Rach! I care about you, you're special. Why shouldn't your first time be?"

"It's not that important these days-"

"Yeah, it kind of is important to you, otherwise you would've said yes the other night!"

"Aha!" she screamed, pointing a dainty finger at him. His eyes were alarmed and he jumped slightly at her exclamation. "So you were mad at me about saying 'no'."

Jesse shook his head. "Of course I was, Rachel. You got me all worked up and then when I asked you said no. Which I completely respect but today... This... It's just too much. Don't tease me if you aren't planning to do anything more. It's not fair."

"I'm- I'm sorry, I had no idea that that was how you felt, Jesse." Rachel spoke softly, sitting up properly. She patted the space next to her and saw him hesitate. Rolling her eyes, she added "I won't try anything else. I want to talk."

He sighed and moved to sit next to her. "I really am sorry for the way I brought it up the other night,"

Her eyebrows scrunched together.

"I shouldn't have been so careless about it."

"You weren't careless, Jesse. You were straightforward- maybe a bit too blunt and all but..."

She leaned into him and after what seemed like forever, he moved slightly and she found his lips and locked their mouths together in a slow and simply passionate kiss. Jesse was the one to draw back after a few seconds.

"I want you," he whispered huskily.

Rachel shivered once, eyes still closed, and found his mouth again. She gave him her all in that kiss and felt his hand grab a hold of her arm softly. Their mouths moved in sync and she couldn't help the tiny whimper that escaped from the back of her throat. Jesse seemed to react to this because he gently pushed her down onto the comforter, his eyes opening to reveal those beautiful blue irises that Rachel loved so much.

Her hand trailed its way to his luscious bronze curls and tugged slightly as she got lost in it all. The way he was kissing her couldn't be legal... Could it?

After a long while, he detached his lips from hers and gazed into her eyes.

"Jesse." she stated softly. "Please?"

He kissed her again and Rachel felt elated. He was giving her what she'd asked for.

Or so she thought until he pulled away once more. He watched her face sport confusion and he brushed his lips against hers without fully kissing them.

"No."

* * *

><p>"Quinn!"<p>

The blonde turned halfway as Puck ran to catch up to her. She rolled her eyes and kept walking. "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to check up on you, to make sure you're doing okay."

She snorted. "Okay?" Quinn stopped moving and turned to face him, tearing stinging in her eyes. "Okay? I'm pregnant! I've lost everything because I was stupid enough to have sex with you! I lost my body, my reputation, Finn... My own parents," he just stood there while he let her ride out the anger. "Sorry, excuse me if my answer is no, I'm not okay."

"I'm sorry. I didn't plan for this to happen. But I like you, Quinn. I do."

She shook her head. "No, you don't."

He groaned, frustrated at the lack of progress he was making with her. "Well if it bothers you that much that you're carrying my kid then why didn't you get rid of it?"

Her mouth dropped open for a second before she scoffed. She couldn't believe he'd just said that. "Go to hell," she stated then she gathered herself and walked away, leaving a shocked Puck behind.

But what he did next he shouldn't have done. Taking out his cell, he angrily dialed the one number he swore he'd never dial again.

* * *

><p>A whole week. A whole damn week of the silent treatment.<p>

Could she torture him any more than what she had currently? So he had said no, but trust him, it was for her sake. He knew that if he'd carried it out to the end, Rachel would've resented him for it for the fact that he could still see it in her eyes... She wasn't ready and he needed her to be ready. Whilst she wasn't, it didn't really matter what he wanted.

That still didn't give her the right to just stop talking to him altogether.

So as he stared at his cell waiting for it to begin buzzing incessantly, his fingers drummed against his table. His kitchen door flew open and he jumped slightly, turning to face whomever had just entered the room angrily.

It was his mom.

"Get your things, Jesse. We're leaving this god forsaken house."

His eyebrows scrunched. "What? Why?"

Her small hands tossed her purse angrily against the breakfast bar. Jesse quickly got up and stared at her with worried eyes.

"Your stupid cheating father, that's why!"

He gulped. So he'd been right all along. His father was unfaithful to a woman who'd been nothing but committed to the entire marriage. "You know?"

"Of course I knew!" she shouted, angry tears staining her tired eyes. Every day his mother had looked weaker and weaker, as if she was getting sick. "I've known for the past couple of years, Jesse." she admitted weakly, taking a breath and sitting down on the nearest stool. He sighed and took a seat next to her. "I just... He actually had the liberty to call her to his office while we were suppose to go to lunch together. He called her and asked her to join us. Do you know how shitty that makes me feel?"

"I'm so sorry..." Jesse murmured. If he wasn't so afraid of his father then he might've marched straight to the office and punched the hell out of him. He didn't know how to comfort his mother, which was to say the least, sad. He'd never been close to either of his parents. Ever. So what the hell was he suppose to do?

He did what he did best. He slowly got up and awkwardly patted her back. He wasn't used to this. "I'll be back later tonight."

He couldn't have gotten out of there any faster. Jesse snatched up his phone and his keys and practically ran out the door, leaving a very puzzled parent.

Jesse ended up driving all the way to Lima, straight to Rachel's house. It was Saturday and he knew the chances of her being home were slim to none so he sat there in her driveway, waiting to see if she'd come home since neither of her dads cars were parked there.

His phone buzzed once with Rachel's text: Are you going to sit in your car all day or come inside?

Jesse sighed, climbing out of his car and walking slowly and cautiously into her house. She was waiting at the foot of her stairs, a worried look on her face.

Without another word, she took him into her embrace.

"What's wrong? What happened?" she murmured.

Jesse buried his head in the crook of her shoulder. "My father happened."

Rachel figured he wouldn't say anything more so she let him go and held his hand, tugging lightly in reassurance. "Come on," she said, leading him upstairs and into her bedroom. Rachel planned to comfort him but knowing Jesse, he had these moments of pure desperation. Which is why it didn't surprise her when they'd made it to her bedroom, that he'd pinned her against the wall and roughly kissed her mouth.

"Rachel," he mumbled, his hands holding onto her waist. "Please, just let me have you." he trailed his lips to her neck, causing her to shiver.

Her hands grabbed the sides of his face. As much as she wanted to tell him she was ready, which she was, it wasn't the right time. She wouldn't let there first time together happen in the midst of his family issues. "Jesse, look at me."

He stubbornly shook his head, returning his lips to her neck then her mouth once more. Rachel shook her head, detaching their lips and murmured, "No."

With a final desperate noise, Jesse let his head fall against her shoulder. He shook once and Rachel hugged him, trying to comfort him. "Shh." she cooed.

Jesse tried to gather himself, but he just couldn't. She must've noticed because she hugged him tighter and whispered, "Just let go, just let it all go."

"Everything's falling apart," he mumbled into her shoulder. Who would have thought that the great Jesse St. James needed comforting? Who would have thought that he'd actually cry over something so stupid? So his parents practically hated each other, that wasn't new. Yet the way he'd seen his mother cry only made him feel crappy. And his relationship with Rachel... He felt like that if he turned his back for a second, she might literally disappear. And he couldn't let that happen because out of all the bad things in his life, she was one thing that made him feel... Complete. His passion for music was rivaled with this one girl.

How could he ever be willing to let that go?

"Everything will work out, I promise." Rachel responded. There were a couple of minutes of pure silence as Jesse regained control. He lifted his head so he was looking into her endless chocolate colored eyes. His hand caressed her cheek.

"I love you," he rasped. "And I can't lose you, too."

Rachel smiled small. "I know."

* * *

><p><em>"Mr. Schuester?" Jesse knocked against the door. The curly haired show choir teacher looked up, surprised. Ah, so he knew who he was.<em>

_"Yes?"_

_"I'm Jesse St. James, can I talk to you about something?"_

_The man fumbled with his pen. "Uh, sure, have a seat."_

_Jesse smiled and took a seat. _

_"What can I do for you, Jesse?"_

_Jesse's lips twitched. "Well, I just transferred from Carmel to McKinley because of my parent's divorce and I was hoping if I could possibly join New Directions?"_

_Will's mouth went agape. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. A great asset to Vocal Adrenaline had just left and wanted to join New Directions. If anything, this could be the key to winning Regionals. "Yeah, yeah. Sure. Absolutely." he stammered._

_Jesse smiled. "Great."_

* * *

><p><em>So, I didn't want them to DO IT right now. I thought a long time about it and it honestly just didn't feel right. However, now that I have thought longer about it, I'm planning a special, so out of the blue time where they will eventually take their relationship to the next level. I just hope most of you will be patient and keep reading this story. I know I always ask at the beginning intro and at the end for you guys to review (and it may sound super naggy and that it's all I care about- which it isn't. I write because I love to) but reviews are feedback. And that's all a writer ever wants. <strong>Feedback<strong>. So please guys, don't forget to review. It's important to know that I'm doing these characters justice. _

_-Fanatic4Fiction. _

_:D_


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

Working hard to put out the next chapter sooner, guys! Thanks for all the lovely reviews and I really feel grateful for each and every single one of them! Don't stop reviewing, it sparks so much more creativity knowing that you guys like the story so far. Get ready because this chapter is the beginning for what's about to happen later on in the story. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>Jesse sighed in content as he felt Rachel's lips collide with his. It'd been a whole week since he'd officially joined New Directions and transferred to McKinley. A whole week of not seeing his father, and of not having to worry about how badly his mom had been hurt despite their estranged relationship.<em>

_Rachel had been supportive throughout the whole ordeal, though. Everyday after school he'd meet up with her at her house and they'd be confined to the walls of her bedroom for the rest of the evening. If Jesse hadn't made a good first impression with her dads, he might've been dead right now for staying extra long in their teenage daughter's bedroom. Just the two of them. Alone. No supervision whatsoever._

_But as soon as his hands made their way to her bare legs, Rachel pulled away with a small smile. _

_"Slow down, Jesse. I don't want to rush this."_

_He sighed again. "I know but that doesn't make the temptation any easier."_

_Rachel giggled and pecked his lips once before moving off of his lap. Jesse sat up straight and ran a hand through his hair. It was a weird habit he'd been picking up lately- especially when nervous._

_"How are you coping?" Rachel asked sullenly._

_He raised his brows. "Fine, I guess. It's weird not seeing my dad's face." he shook his head. "But I don't miss him."_

_She bit her lip and looked down. "Do you miss Vocal Adrenaline?"_

_There was a moment of silence before he responded quietly. "Sometimes. It's... hard for me to adjust to all this." he snorted lightly. "I always pictured myself graduating from Carmel and being the Vocal Adrenaline legend." he looked at Rachel's face and he could tell she felt a bit guilty even after the numerous of conversations they'd had and him explaining that there wasn't any need for her to feel that way. None of this had been her fault. "But moving... It gives me the chance to spend my time with you. You make me happy, Rach."_

_She smiled small. "You make me happy, too." Rachel's hand grasped his and she gave it a squeeze. "I'm here for you, okay?"_

"Bad news, guys." Mr. Schuester addressed, claiming a seat on the chair in front of the group. "We can't use the auditorium for the next week."

"What? But that's garbage!" Finn protested. "How are we suppose to practice for Regionals if we can't use the stage?"

Mr. Schue shook his head. "The Cheerios need it to practice in. There's nothing I can do."

Rachel looked at Finn, remembering how rudely he'd reacted to the whole Jesse-joining-New-Directions thing. She knew that this had been Jesse's decision and she had no problem with her boyfriend attending McKinley... But the way Finn acted was strange. He'd made it very clear they weren't on good terms, so why should he get mad? Why should he care?

Rachel stood up with her boisterous attitude. "I recommend a sit-in."

"I recommend we torch the place!" Puck interjected. Rachel looked back at him and rolled her eyes.

"Why does it always come down to violence with you?" she questioned.

Puck shrugged. "I don't know... Because I'm awesome?"

The group chuckled and Rachel sighed, exasperated.

"Alright- no. Look, we've all faced adversity before and we've always come out stronger in the end. I'm going to check out a few off-site locations for us to use just for the week."

There was an echo of grumbles throughout the teenagers as Mr. Schue shrugged.

"I promise I'll find us a new home."

The bell rang and they dispersed. Jesse wrapped his arm around Rachel's waist as they made their way to her locker.

"So, I was talking with Andrea last night and she was wondering if maybe we'd like to hang out with her this Friday night." Jesse stated as Rachel opened her locker.

The brunette smiled and nodded. "I actually think that would be great. We need to get out more, don't you think?"

"Rachel!" Finn shouted, speed walking across the hallway and reaching the couple. He avoided eye contact with Jesse, causing the older boy to roll his eyes. Even after a whole week had gone by, Finn still refused to make amends with both him and Rachel. It was getting annoying.

"Yes?" she asked, shutting her locker to stare at Finn.

Finn's eyes darted between Rachel and Jesse. "Do you think that maybe we could talk... Alone? Just for sec."

Rachel heard Jesse sigh and let go of her waist. She took it as an okay even though it worried her a bit. Jesse had been acting weird all week and she knew that one of the reasons he was acting so was because of Finn's constant rejection to make amends.

"Make it quick, Finn. I've got a very hectic schedule today." Rachel stated. She adjusted her bag and felt Jesse retreat with a faint goodbye. Finn let out a breath.

"I was hoping that maybe you could help me..."

Rachel's eyebrows shot up. "Help you with...?"

"It's just that Kurt's been kind of coming onto me and I was hoping you could talk to him about it. He sort of makes me uncomfortable and I know you two are close so..."

Rachel's lips twitched slightly. "I don't think Kurt would listen to me right now, Finn. He's distracted by the fact that your mother and his father are an item. A very serious one by the way he talks about it. I've already caught him trying to scribble down wedding venues."

Finn's eyes widened a bit. "I don't think they're getting married. My mom's not like that."

She sighed. "She's a woman, Finn. Trust me when I say that all woman and young girls dream about a wedding. About having that special someone wait for you as you walk down that aisle." she finished, looking at nothing as she fantasized a bit about it all. She'd never given it much thought before but she was kind of hoping that Jesse and her would make it that far.

Not anytime soon, though. I've got my career first... Rachel echoed inside her head.

Finn waved a hand in front of her doe eyes, snapping her back to reality. "Can you just talk to him?"

She nodded at last, figuring that a fight with Finn wouldn't help anyone anytime soon because she honestly wanted to scold him for being so ignorant... So blind to what life was really about. "Fine. I'll talk to him but I don't guarantee anything."

He smiled, retreating. "Thanks, Rachel."

* * *

><p>The faint click of Shelby's pair of heels were the only noise in the auditorium. It was late and he shouldn't have agreed to meet her but his old show choir coach drove a hard bargain. It was either this or losing his chance at UCLA. At least, that's all that she'd told Jesse over the phone.<p>

"Jesse, I'm glad you made it."

His fingers drummed against the piano. "Well, I'm not the one who's late."

"Sorry, I had a meeting." she supplied, tossing her bag to the ground beside the piano.

"Why am I here, Ms. Corcoran?" Jesse asked. He didn't understand because he thought they were on a good ground when he'd explained his transfer.

_Family matters that were unavoidable._

"It's no secret that I want you back in Vocal Adrenaline before Regionals." she offered, leaning against the piano. "But I need to talk to you about your little girlfriend."

"Rachel?" he asked, surprised. "What do you want to know?"

"She's a little powerhouse. I remember seeing her at Sectionals when we scouted the competition. Now, are you two serious?"

Jesse shifted his weight uneasily. There was a queasiness in his stomach that he found hard to ignore. But instead of not answering, he nodded.

Shelby seemed satisfied. "Okay. I have a proposition for you, Jesse. If you can come back to Carmel and bring Rachel with you, I swear I won't harm your chances for UCLA."

"Wait- I thought I was your star? Why does it feel like you're blackmailing me?"

"Because that's how the real world works, Jesse. I want to prepare you for that but in order to do so, I need to make you understand that winning is everything these days. Being nameless and a loser isn't going to get you anywhere. Honestly, do you really believe that the both of you are going anywhere as long as you stick with New Directions?"

Jesse was silent.

"No," Shelby answered for him. "With Vocal Adrenaline, it'll open up new and better opportunities for the both of you. I am giving you a chance to shine bigger and brighter. That is my word. So, what do you say?"

_Don't do it. Don't do it._

_Do it._

"I- I'd have to think about it." Jesse responded, baffled.

"You have until Friday." Shelby deadpanned, scooping up to retrieve her bag. She sifted through it before producing a white envelope. "This arrived for you today in my office. You have another audition for UCLA."

She tossed it onto the shiny black surface of the piano and walked out, leaving Jesse alone and confused. There was an internal battle as he contemplated the many outcomes Shelby had just provided for him.

There was:

A) Stay in New Directions with Rachel, maybe get second in Regionals but that was it. Vocal Adrenaline would still beat them out because of choreography.

B) Somehow manage to take Rachel with him and transfer to Carmel and be with VA as they headed to win another Nationals competition.

or,

C) Ignore Shelby's request to gain Rachel as an asset, stay in New Directions and lose the one thing he'd worked so hard to achieve for the last four years of his life: the scholarship to UCLA.

* * *

><p>"Mercedes, you don't look so good." Tina commented as the diva sat down. She looked worn down.<p>

Rachel looked at her as well. "Do you want to go to the nurse? I hear she'll let anyone lie down and sleep."

Behind her Puck smiled.

Mercedes held up a hand. "Guys, I'm fine. I'm just a little tired. I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Alright guys, I have some good news. You all remember April Rhodes, correct?"

Nobody moved.

"Well, she's letting us use the roller rink to practice in."

"A roller rink?" Tina asked.

"Weren't those outlawed in like 1981 for being totally lame?" Santana sassed.

Mr. Schuester frowned slightly at the unenthusiastic faces. "Oh, come on guys! Where's your sense of adventure? The space is great and April is giving it to us to practice in for free!"

Kurt's hand shot up. "Mr. Schue, if I may?"

The teacher motioned him to continue.

Kurt moved to the front of the group and put his hands on his hips. "The New Directions is clearly a club with a dearth of direction. Rachel and Jesse refuse to accept all of use would rather die before we allow them to become the next Beyonce and Jay-Z."

Rachel played with her hair in embarrassment as Jesse seemed unaffected by the comment.

"And Finn's mother's romance with my father is sending him into a wholly unnecessary tail-spin of despair."

Rachel's eyes widened and Finn shifted uncomfortably in his chair. She couldn't believe that Kurt would bring it up right after she'd asked him to cool it with the flirty for Finn eyes.

"What we all need right now is to explore the idea of a sense of place." he moved toward the piano and retrieved some sheet music. He handed the bunch to Finn who absentmindedly passed them down. "And how if we would find that place from within then we would get that happy ending."

_**A chair is still a chair, even when there's no one sitting there**_

_**But a chair is not a house, and a house is not a home**_

_**When there's no one there to hold you tight**_

_**And no one there you can kiss good night**_

Kurt continued to gaze at Finn but without googly eyes. Instead, the male diva focused on his own internal yearning of longing for someone to understand his loneliness. Yes. Kurt was alone. He didn't have a mom. He was gay and because of that, he struggled to find a significant other. Hell, no matter how much his own father tried to understand him, it was just no use.

So yes, what Kurt wanted right now was a sense of belonging somewhere. But for a teen gay who didn't even have a functional home, it was hard. Lonely. Scary. And difficult.

He supposed that's why he was so persistent with Finn even though it was hopeless. He just wanted to find that place- that home.

_**A room is still a room, even when there's nothing there but gloom**_

_**But a room is not a house, and a house is not a home**_

_**When the two of us are far apart**_

_**And one of us has a broken heart**_

Finn glanced at Rachel. He saw her fingers intertwined with Jesse's and a pang of jealously coursed through him. He just couldn't believe he'd been stupid enough to push her away, to ignore her and now he'd lost her.

But there was something off about that Jesse kid. Something that just didn't fit quite right. And if that thing was something that would make Rachel want to break up with him, then Finn was going to get to the bottom of it.

_**Now and then I call your name**_

_**And suddenly your face appears**_

_**But it's just a crazy game**_

_**And when it ends, it ends in tears**_

Jesse looked at their intertwined fingers. He couldn't believe how lucky he'd been to have bumped into Rachel that night in the Carmel High parking lot. Even from the start he couldn't resist her. He let his gaze look over her flawless face and her entranced eyes as they stared at Kurt.

How could someone so pure and full of light ever want to stay with him?

Then it dawned at him. What if she came to her senses and dumped his sorry ass? What if she realized that he wasn't worth fixing?

Jesse let out a soft breath as he thought of his own parent's sad excuse for a marriage. He'd talked to his mother the night she'd packed up her things and asked him if he'd rather live with her or his father when she filed for the divorce papers. Jesse had quickly replied with her. He couldn't even look at his father, let alone live alone with him.

_**So darling, have a heart, don't let one mistake keep us apart**_

_**Well, I'm not meant to live alone, turn this house into a home**_

_**When I climb the stair and turn the key**_

Then there was Shelby's offer. It was so, so tempting to accept despite his better judgment. But hell, he wasn't an adult yet. He was eighteen years old. Should he really know for sure what he wanted? He was a teenager... He's bound to make mistakes.

_But if my mistake causes me to lose her... I couldn't live with myself. There's no way for me to pick what I want and lose what I need. I won't make the mistake. I'm not my father._

Jesse's eyes focused to the front of the room.

_**Oh, please be there, still in love with me**_

_Am I?_

* * *

><p><em>Angry thoughts. Angry thoughts-!<em>

Kurt's blood boiled as he harshly tore down the color swatches from his wall. In the heat of moment, all of the tones of gray seemed to blend into an angry blob. Wow. Just the way he felt at the moment.

It began with dinner at Breatstix. He'd been the one to encourage his father to ask Carol and Finn to join for a joint- family dinner. He had planned to impress Finn with talk about how he'd helped his mom, for free, might he add. Instead, Kurt got shunned the minute his father and Finn started with the sports talk. It lasted throughout the entire evening which only angered him more.

"Hey, did you finally choose one?" Burt Hummel asked as he watched his son angrily tear down the paint swatches.

"No, they're all wrong." Kurt stammered.

Burt shrugged. "They all look the same to me."

"Well, maybe if they were different colored sports uniforms then you would work harder to try and tell them apart." Kurt sassed back, moving past his father quickly to practically throw the pieces of scrap into the waste basket.

"I knew it." Burt stated. "I knew when I'd started in with the football with Finn that you'd take it personal."

"How could I not, dad?" Kurt asked, offended and feeling vulnerable. "When was the last time you were that engaged in a conversation with me?"

There was a small pause before his dad shrugged. "I'm sorry. I don't know what you want here."

"What I want is for you to appreciate how hard it is for me to watch you bond with a son you've obviously always wanted." he pushed past him again and made his way to his dresser. He sat down and stared at his angered reflection in the mirror.

"What? Suddenly I'm not the guy who sat through River Dance three years in a row?"

Nothing.

"Look- Kurt. I love you. And I am sympathetic to all your stuff but come on, buddy. We've got a deal here, right? I don't try to change you and you don't try to change me. You are my son and a little guy talk with some other kid isn't going to change that-"

"Guy talk?" Kurt interjected. "I'm a guy."

"Come on, you know what I mean."

_Yes. I know exactly what you mean. You don't think I'm capable of having 'guy talk' because I'm about as manly as the color pink. _

He sat there, contemplating on what to say next. The only thing he could think of was how hurt and lonely he was currently feeling.

"Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it is too soon for you to start getting serious with someone."

"Your mom's been dead eight years, you know that?" he got up but stopped short of the stairway. "Why'd you fix me up with Carol, anyway? Was it to make me happy? Because that's what you told me."

"Can you go now?" Kurt begged. "I'm about a half hour behind on my moisturizing routine and I have to get up early."

Kurt heard his bedroom door shut before he let the waterfall come down. Somehow he just wished there was a way he could end all of the angst he was being drowned in. Didn't anybody understand that he just wanted a place to belong? He just wanted to be understood and accepted for what he was.

* * *

><p>"Do you want half of my peppermint pattie?" Tina offered to Mercedes. The girl had noticed that her friend wasn't eating and that she barely had anything on her plate to begin with.<p>

Mercedes practically stabbed her with her glare. "No. I don't put junk in my body."

"Why are you doing this?" Artie asked. "We like you no matter how you look."

The diva gave him an annoyed look.

"And those shake diets are really unhealthy." Tina commented.

Artie nodded. "And they also don't work. Once you're off them you gain back the weight you lost."

Mercedes seemed to snap and she slammed her hands on the table and stood up. "You know what? I don't want to hear it! You have no idea how much I'm sacrificing to be a Cheerio, to look fantastic, to finally fit in at this school!"

Her eyes drooped a bit and Tina stood up, dressed as an ice cream cone. "We're just trying to look out for you."

Wait, ice cream cone?

"We just want you to be healthy." Artie added as he was dressed like a big slice of cake.

Mercedes' head began to spin like a carousel.

"Just stop talking and trying to get me to eat you!" she yelled angrily.

"Wait, hold up. Did she just say she wanted to eat us?" Artie questioned.

She felt so bad... So light-headed. Then the lights went out.

Tina yelled and practically climbed over the table to see if Mercedes was okay. Rachel, who'd just passed by momentarily, practically ran to Mercedes' aid after instructing Jesse to go get the nurse.

"What happened?" Rachel asked as she checked Mercedes' pulse. It was still beating.

_Good_.

"She was ranting about her weight and she just collapsed." Tina explained. Rachel felt the nurse touch her shoulder and she moved out of the way.

"Is she going to be okay?"

The nurse nodded. "Her heart rate isn't bad but we need to get her to my office. Now, did she eat anything?"

"No-"

"I think she may have starved herself," Tina observed. "She wouldn't eat anything."

The nurse nodded. "Help me get her to the office."

"Your blood pressure's low. Maybe that's why you fainted. Your mom will be here soon, I'll go get you some ginger ale." the nurse addressed, getting up and out of the office.

Mercedes looked down until she heard shuffling. She saw Quinn walk to her and hold up a granola bar. She shook her head meekly.

"Thanks but I'm not hungry."

"Yes, you are." Quinn stated. "You're starving. I know, I've been there."

Mercedes gave her a dejected look.

"Did all the other kids start looking like food right before you fainted?"

"Yeah... How'd you know?"

"Been there." she offered the granola bar again. "Take it."

Mercedes took it and opened it, breaking off a small piece. "Why are you being so nice to me? I can't remember the last time you said anything to me that wasn't 'you' and 'suck'."

She tossed the piece in her mouth.

"Because I was you. Scared. Hating myself for eating a cookie. But I got over it."

"Yeah, of course you did. Ms. Pretty Blonde With The White Girl Ass."

Quinn laughed. "When you start eating for somebody else so that they can grow and be healthy, your relationship to food changes. What I realized was that if I'm so willing to eat right for this baby, why am I not willing to do the same for myself?"

Mercedes started to cry softly. She knew Quinn had a point... But she just felt like such an outcast.

"You are so lucky." Quinn added. "You've always been at home in your body. Don't let Ms. Sylvester take that away from you."

"I'm so embarrassed." Mercedes choked out. "This isn't me... How did I become this person?"

Quinn leaned forward and took the girl's hands in her own. "You are beautiful, Mercedes. You know that." she smiled softly. "I'm going to stay here with you until your mom comes, okay?"

Mercedes nodded and a few moments later, there was a soft knock on the door. It was Tina, Rachel, and Artie.

"Can we come in?" Rachel asked.

Mercedes nodded.

Tina went straight for a hug as did Rachel.

"We're really glad you're okay," Artie stated. "We were worried."

"Hell, we've been worried since the week started," Rachel stated. "You looked tired. I should've known something was wrong the minute you didn't insult me in glee club."

Mercedes laughed. "Thanks you guys... For being there for me." She looked at Quinn and Artie. "All of you. It means a lot."

Rachel smiled. "Well, that's what we're here for."

"Yeah." Quinn sighed, hands resting on her stomach.

Mercedes shifted slightly. "Hey, do you think you guys could help me with something?"

"Anything." Quinn said.

Mercedes bit her lip and scanned the faces of her friends. "Okay, here's what I kind of want to do at the assembly..."

* * *

><p>Jesse sighed and opened the front door to his old house. Er, the one that his scum of a father was living in in Akron. Jesse still had his key in case he ever needed somewhere to stay and he was too far from the apartment his mother was renting out in Lima.<p>

But enough chatter. He was here on a mission. There'd been a couple of cd's and books he'd left behind and kind of wanted back, so he quickly ran upstairs to his old bedroom, only to come in face to face with a half naked woman.

Suffice to say that they both kind of yelled in shock and surprise.

"Who are you?" The woman asked rudely.

Jesse's brows furrowed. "I'm Jesse... the son of the man you're obviously sleeping with...? Who are you?"

She shrugged and tried to cover her bare legs a bit better. "Candi. I'm... a girlfriend."

Jesse bit his lip. "Oh? Is he here?"

She shook her head. "I just got out of bed..."

He looked at his watch. "It's four in the afternoon-"

"Candi, what the hell is taking so long with that sandwich? I'm starving-"

His father walked right into Jesse's view and froze.

"Jesse, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I came to get some stuff. Don't worry, I'm not going to be long."

he walked passed them and into his old bedroom. Feeling numb and slightly awkward, he sat down on the edge of his former bed. For the love of Pete, the man really didn't have any sense of boundaries, did he? Not even after practically driving him and his mother out of here?

_He's an asshole. An asshole that should die a painful and slow death..._

A knock on his door interrupted his raging thoughts. "Jesse?" his father questioned through the closed door. "Can I speak with you for a moment?"

The teenager sighed, practically face-palming himself for even coming to his dad's house. "Yeah, fine."

The door opened and Jesse's father quickly walked in and shut it once more. He stared at Jesse with a weird facial expression.

"What?" Jesse said at last.

The older man shrugged. "I just want to know what's going on with you. You were short of killing Candi a moment ago-"

"Yeah, well. It's hard to look at a woman who came between you and mom." Jesse snapped, looking to the floor and distracting himself with the carpet.

His father sighed heavily. "Kid, your mother and I... We grew apart."

"So? You could have done something to fix it! For me..." Jesse's voice wavered slightly. "For Grant and Anne."

The man's eyes flickered dangerously low. "Don't mention your brother and sister. Don't you dare."

Jesse shook his head and scoffed at his father's request. "As if you have the right to tell me what I can and can't do. They're gone but the least you could do was care and try to make it work between you and mom. That's all you could have done but instead you chose to give up on us all and parade around with that- that homewrecker!"

"Candi is a respectable young woman and I won't have you speak to me in that tone again, understood?"

"Do you think this is easy for me? All I've ever known is this... You and mom being married yet cold. I'm used to working from 2 in the afternoon 'til midnight for Vocal Adrenaline. I'm used to being up on that stage and feeling something instead of being the numb the way I am whenever I look at you!"

Jesse ran a hand through his hair and fidgeted with his leg. It bounced up and down vigorously.

"Do you think I like I like not being able to control what happens all around me? I hate knowing that mom is out there scorned and trying to date again. I hate that you're sleeping around with that woman in this house- the house I've grown up in, without any embarrassment whatsoever. It was bad when you guys were together but this... This is worse. I don't... I don't know who I'm supposed to be anymore." his voice cracked at the last syllable as he unloaded everything he'd been keeping bottled in since meeting Rachel.

Don't get him wrong, he loved Rachel with everything he had. But as time went by and he revealed different parts of himself to her, he was slowly losing the parts that had made Jesse St. James a star- he was losing who he'd grown to think he was.

And that was the problem all along. Jesse was a person who was dependent on familiarity. The thought of becoming someone else entirely scared him to death. He wasn't ready to let go of his star persona. He couldn't... It's all he'd ever known.

His father said nothing, instead he got up and walked to the door. Without turning around, he asked Jesse, "Do you think you could just grab what you needed to get and go? Because I have plans for today with Candi."

Jesse rubbed his eyes and nodded, sighing and grabbing a few random things before pushing past his father and practically running down the stairs and out the front door.

The pressure inside his chest didn't ease as he drove out of the driveway.

* * *

><p>Kurt watched in confusion as Rachel, Tina, and Quinn huddled around Mercedes before running off to find a seat for the assembly. He walked over to her and Mercedes shrugged.<p>

"What was all that about?"

Mercedes smiled, "You'll see," before she walked off, leaving Kurt utterly confused.

Rachel and Quinn exchanged small smiles before sitting down and watching the lights dim. Rachel was glad that Mercedes wanted to stand up to not only Ms. Sylvester, but to the school. It was something that she wished she'd have the courage to do herself. So as the Cheerios came out in their fancy line up she couldn't help but clap for what was coming.

After an awkward moment of silence, Mercedes' figure walked up to the microphone Artie had placed there a while ago. It screeched a bit from her breathing and she paused for it to return back to normal.

"Hey guys, I'm Mercedes Jones." she looked at the gym full of people, feeling a bit nervous. "So most of you know Cheerios is about perfection and winning, looking hot and being popular." the microphone creaked again and she paused once more. "Well, I think it should be about something different. How many of you at this school feel fat?"

Quinn started and raised her hand and it was like dominoes. Others soon raised theirs as well, giving her the courage to keep going.

"How many of you feel like maybe you're not worth very much?"

Jesse raised his hand, earning a faint look of questioning from Rachel.

"Or you're ugly and have too many pimples and not enough friends?"

More and more people slowly raised their hands and Mercedes took a breath.

"Well, I felt those things about myself at one time or another- hell, I felt most of those things about myself today... And that just ain't right. And we've got something to say about it," she motioned behind her to the formation of the Cheerios. "And if you like what we have to say, come down here and sing it with us."

The beginning chords of Christina Aguilera's Beautiful filled the room, and a lot of people seemed to recognize it quickly. Tina smiled as Mercedes started the song, hell, she was proud that finally somebody was standing up to the stupid regulations in the school.

_**Every day is so wonderful**_

_**And suddenly, it's hard to breathe**_

_**Now and then, I get insecure**_

_**From all the pain, I'm so ashamed**_

Rachel reached out and took Jesse's hand. He looked kind of sad and all she wanted was to make him feel better. But how? He wouldn't open up to her lately and it was driving her insane. She'd felt his mood shift throughout the entire week.

_**I am beautiful no matter what they say**_

_**Words can't bring me down**_

_**I am beautiful in every single way**_

_**Yes, words can't bring me down**_

_**So don't you bring me down today**_

The Cheerios turned around and soon started up with the back up vocals. And somehow, for a rare moment in time, the school lines blurred as more and more students stood up and joined Mercedes. Quinn herself stood up slowly, hand on her baby bump, and faced the front, easily harmonizing with the rest of the singing.

_**No matter what we do**_

_**(no matter what we do)**_

_**No matter what they say**_

_**(no matter what they say)**_

_**When the sun is shining through**_

_**Then the clouds won't stay**_

She had to admit, the blurred lines felt good. For this moment she forgot about cheating on Finn and sleeping with Puck and then getting pregnant. She lost the stress of having to over think her current relationship with said father of her baby. She felt free. Just as Mercedes felt as she belted out the song perfectly and emotionally driven.

_**And everywhere we go**_

_**(everywhere we go)**_

_**The sun won't always shine**_

_**(sun won't always shine)**_

_**But tomorrow will find a way**_

_**All the other times**_

Kurt looked from Finn and back to Mercedes. It was weird how one song could perfectly describe a current emotion. He didn't know a lot and he made mistakes, but ironically like the song, there is always a tomorrow no matter how bad the today gets. He didn't want to think about Finn at the moment, he wanted to focus on the fact that he'd been wrong with his prior predicament concerning their spots as Cheerios.

He'd been wrong about it and he felt like maybe he'd been the one to pressure Mercedes to stop eating altogether.

_**'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say**_

_**Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no**_

_**We are beautiful in every single way**_

_**Yes, words can't bring us down**_

_**Don't you bring me down today**_

Jesse held Rachel's hands as she leaned her back against his chest while swaying to the beat of the music. He held her closer, never wanting to lose the warmth that she provided to his numb body. Despite his current crisis with his parents and his identity, he knew for a fact that he wanted to have Rachel in his future.

Now, whether it be here at McKinley or back at Carmel, he didn't have a clue. He just knew that he wanted to be with her.

Jesse felt Rachel let go of his hands and turn around slightly. Her eyes were concerned. "Whatever is going on Jesse, we can deal with it together, okay?" she said softly.

Jesse looked into her brown eyes and he sighed, smiling a bit a moment later and nodding. "Thank you- for being here for me, I mean."

She kissed his cheek. "How could I not? You're my boyfriend and I care about you, silly."

_**Don't you bring me down today**_

_**Don't you bring me down today.**_

As soon as it was over, Kurt enveloped Mercedes in a hug. "I was wrong," he stated, referring back to their conversation earlier in the week.

Mercedes smiled. "I know."

* * *

><p><em>I felt like this chapter sort of took on a life of its own. There was a lot of angsty in-depth characterization with Jesse in this one and I haven't the slightest clue as to how that happened. All I know is that it did and hopefully you enjoyed diving into the head of Jesse St. James. I feel like there's a whole lot more I could do with his character- so much more story to tell than what we got on the actual show. More St. Berry interaction in the next one so don't forget to review! Feedback really helps me!<em>

-Fanatic4Fiction


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

_In honor of this fic's one year anniversary (today, July 21st), I've decided to post chapter 15: Bad Reputation. BEWARE! From this chapter onward is a pretty rough patch and tests the relationship of St. Berry. Bear with me, guys. Don't stop reading after this because a **bomb** is about to go off in the next couple of chapters up until the finale (Journey). Please, please, please, remember to review! _

_A/N: I got my 100th review from a guest over chapter 14. Whomever reviewed that chapter as a guest... Thank you! It's a milestone for this story! Don't stop giving me feedback, trust me, reviews were the only way I was able to get this one done so fast._

_Enjoy! :D_

* * *

><p>"We're really glad you guys could make, Rachel." Andrea said, settling herself a spot in the booth. They were currently at a local Akron pub having a few drinks. Well, it was more of a student run pub and the only drinks they had were non- alcoholic.<p>

'Me too," Rachel stated, taking off her jacket. "My dads don't mind, but Jesse's mom almost didn't let him."

"Why is that?" Andrea asked, raising her hand to flag a waitress.

Jesse sighed. "She's been really weird lately. Bipolar. It's starting to seriously freak me out."

"Wasn't she always kind of bipolar, though?" Tyler asked. Andrea slapped his arm and shook her head. "Ow! What did I say wrong?"

Andrea rolled her eyes as Rachel and Jesse chuckled.

"Well, I'm glad she said yes," Andrea responded at last. "So, tell me. How are things at McKinley?"

Rachel looked at boyfriend who shook his head and smiled. "Different. Not as good as Carmel when it comes to the show choir reputation but Rachel makes up for it."

"Aw, thank you." Rachel cooed, pecking his cheek lightly. The waitress arrived and after they ordered their drinks and food, they kept up the conversation with small talk about what went on in their lives.

"Vocal Adrenaline is even more hell without you, man." Tyler commented, taking a couple of cheese fries at once and shoving them in his mouth. Andrea made a disgusted noise from the back of her throat.

"Ew, Tyler! Could you be any more _gross?"_

He just shrugged. "Not possible."

Jesse shook his head. "I'm sorry. I can't imagine how bad it must be to have Shelby yelling constantly about how there's no room for anything less than perfection."

"Speaking of yelling, you'll never guess who's up for the lead in the numbers for Regionals."

Jesse stirred his cola and raised a brow. "Who?"

"Chris." Andrea stated, horrified.

"The douche." Tyler added in. He looked down at the cheese fries and sighed, slamming the palms of his hands down lightly on the table and getting up. "I'm going to go play some Foosball."

He looked at Rachel. "Would your boyfriend mind if I stole you away to be my opponent?"

Rachel smiled and shook her head and looked at Jesse. "I'll be back."

Jesse nodded and watched as she walked with Tyler towards the arcade. Turning back to Andrea quickly, he asked lowly, "What else has been going on?"

Andrea's eyebrows shot up. "Besides Chris getting the lead? Um, I believe there's that teeny tiny part where you TRANSFERRED? Shelby has practically plotting on shooting down your scholarship to UCLA. All she keeps repeating is, 'he's got to do it. It's the only way.' What the hell does she mean?"

Jesse leaned back in defeat. "Has she told you?"

Andrea shook her head. "No- what did she tell you?"

He shook his head. "She threatened to revoke my UCLA scholarship if I didn't transfer back to Carmel."

"So, transfer!" Andrea practically screeched. "You worked so hard for it to lose it so easily."

"I can't."

"Why?" she asked desperately. "What's the problem?"

"She wants me to convince Rachel to transfer as well."

"What?" Andrea responded, sitting back herself. "Why?"

He pursed his lips. "She told me it was because of Rachel's voice being an asset- all of which I don't disagree on but... It's so out of the blue, you know?"

Andrea nodded. "It is strange."

"Something's not quite right with Shelby's intentions." his eyes darted back to where Rachel and Tyler were laughing as they played Foosball. Turning back to Andrea, he looked at her with determination. "I need you to keep an eye on Shelby. There's something that just doesn't make any sense."

She nodded. "Of course. But Jesse, be careful."

"Why?" he asked, confused.

"I have a feeling something bad's about to go down."

* * *

><p>That following Monday morning, Andrea's warning still rang in Jesse's head. Over and over again, might he add. It was making him edgy and paranoid.<p>

Rachel groaned beside him as they walked down the hallway. "I swear, if Coach Sylvester hunts us down because of that video, I'm personally going to put Finn's head on a platter and deliver it to her."

Jesse looked down at his firecracker of a girlfriend. She was small but so striking. Sometimes he still wondered why she didn't open her eyes and realize that he just wasn't worth her love.

_If you love her... Tell her._ he thought absentmindedly.

"Jesse? Are you listening?" Rachel asked softly, stopping and standing in front of him. He blinked twice and nodded.

"Yeah, I've just got a lot on my mind." he looked at his watch. "I'll meet up with you later in glee. I've got something I have to do," he scrambled the excuse, swooping down to capture her lips once before smiling and practically running down the hallway.

Rachel shook her head at her boyfriend's weird behavior.

_He must still be shaken up from the divorce._

Sighing, she kept walking until she came in contact with a sheet of paper taped to her locker. Eyebrows scrunching together, she cautiously stepped closer and read the contents.

_What the hell is a Glist? A who's hot and who's not? What?_ her eyes scanned down and then she saw it. Her name_. And why the hell is my name last? With a negative FIVE?_

Rachel gasped angrily and practically ripped the offensive flyer off of her locker.

* * *

><p>Mr. Schuester held up a Glist angrily. "Alright, who did it?"<p>

Nobody answered.

"This is serious. Principal Figgins is threatening to disband the club."

Santana sighed as she examined her nails. "Why are we playing this game? We all know it was Puck."

Puck gave her a look of disbelief. "Back off. I didn't do squat."

"Then why is your girlfriend first on the Glist?" Tina argued.

Rachel glared at Puck. "And why am I last? Aside from the fact that I refused to put out with you." Jesse looked at his girlfriend with curiosity.

"Okay, enough! No one is accusing anyone of anything!" Mr. Schuester interjected. "Puck, seriously. Did you do it?"

The teenager's mouth dropped open. "I said no! I'm a delinquent, sure. I like setting stuff on fire and beating up people I don't know. I own that. But I'm not a liar."

"Okay, here's the important point: between this and posting Coach Sylvester's personal video on YouTube, you guys are getting a pretty bad reputation."

Artie licked his lips. "Why is that a bad thing? Maybe if we seemed more dangerous then people would stop flushing my glasses down the toilet."

"Look, things are hard right now-"

"Wanky." Santana whispered. Brittany giggled and Tina smiled.

"-I get it. You're under a lot of pressure with Regionals coming up and I know that winning Sectionals hasn't had the positive **effect** on your popularity that most of you thought it would. But becoming what you despise is not the answer."

Mercedes looked at the song title and rolled her eyes. "Man, this song is whack."

"No, it's not." Mr. Schuester protested. "It's a terrific song on a long list of top hits that, because of time and some bad press, it has become a joke. And like you guys, it's time to start rehabilitating its bad reputation." he walked towards the board. "The assignment for the week: I want all of you to find songs like this, mind them for what works, and make them great again. And then, hopefully, you can apply this musical lesson to your own lives."

"I can't believe this," Rachel whispered.

"I know." Jesse responded back. "This song should be arrested for the crime of sucking."

People behind them laughed and Jesse realized that he'd said that a bit too loudly.

Mr. Schuester looked at him. "You wanna bet?"

As the opening chords of Vanilla's Ice Ice Baby began, the rest of the members backed Mr. Schue up. Soon, he had the beat going good and had them all participating. And even though Jesse had initially thought that the song really was whack, he had fun as the male director sang his way all the way to the end of the piece.

Somehow, he'd ended up standing on two chairs as he faced his students. Mr. Schue smiled, full of adrenaline. "This song is officially paroled!"

Everybody clapped, coming down from their adrenaline high.

"Am I right, Jesse?"

Jesse held up his hands in defeat. "All right, all right. You got me." he smiled as Rachel took his hand.

"Ready to go home?" he asked her.

"Yeah. Let me just run by my locker and grab a few things." she replied.

He nodded. "Okay, I'll wait for you in the car."

When he'd finally left and she'd reached her locker, she found another Glist taped to it. Like a savage beast, she ripped it off her locker and chucked it in the trash. Grabbing what she needed, she spotted Artie down the hallway.

_I'm sick of people thinking I can't be bad. I can be bad._

A group of Cheerios walked by and snickered at her. What made it worse than usual was the fact that they each carried a Glist in hand.

Rachel turned and faced her locker, shutting her eyes. She wouldn't let them get to her. She wouldn't. She couldn't.

"She's such a loser." one of them commented, laughing.

There was a small pause in her moral thoughts.

_I'll show them._

She practically ran to catch Artie before he made it out the doors.

"I'm in need of assistance from the AV club." she stated.

The boy blinked and nodded. "What did you have in mind?"

"My shame in appearing solo on the Glist has made me re-evaluate my image at this school and beyond. I've now realized that, in today's culture of bad boy athletes and celebrity sex tapes, a good reputation is no good at all." she got in front of him and stopped him from wheeling away. "Artie, you know how our glee club assignment was to find a song with a bad reputation and rehabilitate it?"

Artie nodded and adjusted his glasses.

"Well mine is going to afford me the worst reputation in this school. Rachel Berry is going to get a little down and dirty-"

"I'm going to stop you," Artie interrupted. "You had me at sex tape." she flinched a bit away from him. "How can I help?"

"Hold onto your hat because Rachel Berry is going to become..." she leaned down to whisper like it was the most important secret in the world. "Musically promiscuous."

* * *

><p>"Where's your girlfriend?"<p>

Jesse looked up from his history book to his mother. She was dressed in a black formal dress and was currently sporting one earring (the other in her hand).

"I dropped her off at her house. She said she had homework." he looked back down at his book. "I didn't protest because I've got work to do too." he looked back to her. "Where are you headed?"

"A date. A co-worker of mine set it up."

His eyes widened in surprise. "Really? With who?"

"Some guy. You don't know him." she snatched her purse from the couch. "I promise to be back before midnight. Order some pizza or make something but don't wait up."

He nodded. "Fine."

Grabbing his phone, he shot a text to Rachel.

* * *

><p>Rachel's phone buzzed and she pushed it aside, turning around to face Noah's back.<p>

"Did you know that when we were a couple people called us 'Puckleberry'?"

He didn't look remotely interested. "That's embarrassing."

She shrugged it off. "The fact is that slumming it with me actually improved your reputation. It gave you a sense of... humanity."

"Wait-" he said, turning to face her. "Are you saying you want to date again? I was wondering why you invited me here."

She held up her hands in defense. "As you know, I'm already taken. But I can be of some assistance. Help me with my song for glee club."

He just gave her a blank look.

"I might be the only way to salvage what's left of your reputation and stay in glee. Besides, you need a song that's going to help you to express your inner pain."

"So, what song do you wanna do for your assignment?" he asked objectively.

She smiled brightly. "I've chosen David Geddes fantastically terrible 70s top ten hit: Run Joey Run."

He gave her a look signaling that he was unfamiliar with it.

"It's a story song so we get to play parts. I'm going to play the role of the tragic heroine who dies in the end and you get to play the hunky heroic male lead."

"Do I get to kill you?" he asked hopefully.

She frowned a bit. "Actually, my dad shoots me with a shotgun."

He seemed disappointed and then he sighed, almost in a sort of defeat. Moving, Puck sat down on her bed. "Do you think I made that Glist?"

Rachel shrugged. "Well, it does sound like something you would do."

"God, I'm so tired of people judging me for a few mistakes I've made. I try to be a good guy. I go to school and I say 'be cool, Puck. Be nice.' But by second period I've got a fire extinguisher in my hands and I'm spraying some dweeb with it and I don't know how I got there."

She nodded in understanding, sitting down beside him. They were close enough where her arm grazed his. "I understand. I sit in glee club and watch a couple of imperfect performances and criticisms just start building up inside of me like a volcano and I keep telling myself to hold it in and then it all just comes bursting out." She gave him a look. "Granted, I'm right most of the time but still... It doesn't help my reputation."

"Yeah, it does suck when you do that." Puck commented, smiling. Rachel returned the smile and began to notice just how close they were. She could feel his light breath on her face.

"So," she whispered, trying her best to flirt even though her morals told her it was wrong. "How do you think we can get people to see us differently?"

He leaned in closer. "I don't know." he answered pathetically. Puck's lips leaned in closer and Rachel's breath hitched.

_This is wrong._

She moved away and shook her head. _I can't do this to Jesse. No matter what happens with my stupid reputation. I can't cheat on him. _"We can't do this." she said at last.

Puck still looked like he wanted to kiss her, though. "You know, whoever made that Glist is going to put you at number one when they find out that you cheated on that Jesse kid with me."

_True... but..._

"Besides, Jesse will never truly understand what it means to be a Jew." he leaned in again and Rachel's heartbeat sped up a bit. She placed her hands against Puck's chest and shook her head. No, she cared about Jesse and no matter how tempting it was to fully commit to her project, she wasn't about to go around and kiss some other guy.

"Noah, I'm ironically turned on by your bad boy image but can we please focus on the song?"

He clapped, shooting up. "Alright, I'm out. Why should I stay when there's no chance of us making out?"

"Noah!" Rachel said, standing up and grabbing his arm. "Please, let's just work on the project. I promise that it'll help us both."

Puck groaned but nonetheless, he let her drag him away.

* * *

><p>Rachel smiled as Artie showed her the final product. She'd successfully convinced Finn, Puck, and Jesse to participate in her little movie.<p>

_Yeah, completely unaware of the fact that you triple- cast them._

She bit her lip, a guilty sensation forming in the pit of her stomach. Suddenly all the confidence she'd mustered up for this moment escaped her. Rachel found it hard to swallow the knot that had formed in her throat that she almost missed Artie's question.

"Were they okay with this?" he asked cautiously.

"What?" she asked.

He adjusted his glasses. "Were Jesse, Finn, and Puck okay with being in it?"

"Yeah... Separately."

He raised an eyebrow. "What's that suppose to mean?"

"I didn't tell them, okay? I don't know why I didn't just tell them I'd be triple- casting them!"

"So the thought of your boyfriend's feelings getting crushed didn't cross your mind at all?"

Rachel fumbled with the hem of her skirt. "I made a mistake by not telling them. But I know Jesse, he won't be mad. And Finn and Puck wouldn't really care, anyway. This is their project too, which means I did them a favor. They'll still get a grade as will you."

Artie pursed his lips. "How can you be so sure? I mean, if I was triple- cast then I'd be pretty pissed."

"Oh, just finish burning it onto the disk!" she squeaked.

Rachel just couldn't accept the possibility that Jesse, Finn, and Puck might be mad for sharing the role and that she'd lied to all of them.

And when the time came to head to glee, she held the disc in her numb hands as Jesse accompanied her through the halls. It was a pretty normal routine now except for the fact that Jesse pulled her aside.

She gave him a puzzled look. "What are you doing? We're going to be late for glee."

He shrugged. "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

He rolled his eyes. "What I mean is exactly what I just asked. You've been acting so distant since I picked you up this morning. What's wrong?"

"I-I'm just really nervous to show the team this video. You know, some of them might not fully appreciate the artistic statement." she looked him in the eyes. "It's _just _an artistic statement, okay? It doesn't mean _anything."_

Jesse gave her a weird look. "Yeah... I know." he chuckled. "Come on, you're right. We're going to be late."

She smiled even though it didn't reach her eyes. When they got there, the AV club had already set up the projector. She handed one of them the disc and they placed it in the DVD player. Taking their seats, Jesse placed his arm on the back of Rachel's chair.

"Listen up," Mr. Schue began as the final bell rung. "Another week has passed. If the list goes up again, this issue is out of my hands."

"Seriously, Mr. Schue. Whoever made that list isn't going to come clean." Finn spoke. "We might as well bend over and take whatever's coming."

The teacher scanned the poker faces of all his students, sighing in defeat. "Fine. Let's get to it. Rachel?" he motioned for her to start and she put on her show-face.

"I'd like to say a few words first. Though I understand that a motion picture should stand on its own, I do realize that some of you are not well versed in the complex vocabulary of the filmic arts. I expect that this video will go over the heads of some of our less cultured teammates." she took a deep breath. "So, let me just say that I hope you enjoy my bad reputation."

She nodded and took her seat once more as the lights dimmed and the film began. The intro was amazing because she'd gotten Santana and Brittany to help her out with it. Rachel's solo part was fantastic- like always- but when it got to Puck's part, she noticed that Jesse had gained a confused expression on his face. She tried to pay it no mind as she focused on her video.

_Okay. So I should have told him._

Jesse's eyes practically popped out of his head the second he saw that not only Puck had been in it, but Finn had as well. He removed his arm from Rachel's chair and sat up straight in his own. He felt hurt, yes.

_Betrayed? Scorned? Cheated on by the only actual girlfriend you've ever had? Yeah. _

He opened his mouth a bit trying to collect his composure. No, he wouldn't lose it- not here where everyone could see. He was Jesse St. James for crying out loud! He never lost it in public places.

When the film ended, Rachel stood up and clapped furiously. She scanned the room and saw the dissatisfied faces of Puck and Finn, and her heart kind of felt heavy from looking at Jesse's scorned facial expression. She gulped. There it was, that damn knot again. "Well, why don't we just um, take a moment to let it sink in-"

"This- This is garbage!" Finn exclaimed.

"Finn!" Mr. Schuester scolded.

"No!" Puck protested. "He's right. First of all, I need to trust my instincts more because I had a feeling when we were working on it that it was going to be bad-"

_Don't say it. _Jesse repeated. _Don't make a scene._

"-Why didn't you tell me they were in it too?" he argued.

_Damn. I said it._

"I thought you and I were going out? Being triple- cast with three other guys to play opposite your girlfriend?" he yelled. "It's mortifying!"

"It's an artistic statement!" Rachel stuttered, referring to their earlier conversation in the hallway.

Finn shook his head. "No it wasn't. It was you trying to make it look like you had a bunch of guys fighting over you so you could stop looking like some kind of outcast and be seen as some hot, slutty girl singer!"

Rachel glanced back at Jesse's hurt face and Finn stood up, confronting her. "How could you do this to me? To all us guys. Is your stupid reputation more important than your relationships?"

Rachel opened her mouth as Finn stormed out. She momentarily locked eyes with Jesse before he stood up as well and high tailed it out of the choir room, ignoring her plea to stay.

If Rachel thought she looked like an outcast before the video, she felt worse now that she was completely alienated from the group.

* * *

><p>Jesse's phone rang for the umpteenth time in one night. He sighed when he saw that it was Rachel, again.<p>

He was hurt and didn't understand why she did it to not only him, but to Finn and Puck as well. He knew that she sometimes made bad choices based on poor judgment but never had he thought one of them might include him.

_What else did you expect? Fairy-tales, rainbows, and unicorns?_

Jesse snorted and stared up at his ceiling. He felt lost. All this time since arriving at McKinley and going through his parent's separation, he'd had Rachel to keep him grounded. Now? Well, now it felt like he was floating in a sea of uncertainty. He didn't know what to do anymore.

Hell. What else was there to do? He'd put in all he had into a relationship that could very well be a high school fling for Rachel.

_You don't mean that. You know she cares about you the way you care about her._

Silence.

But was it enough for Rachel? She deserved the best of the best, not some hotshot show choir lead who'd be leaving in a couple of months and never think twice about it.

That thought was pathetic though because he knew that if given a choice between staying in Ohio for Rachel and leaving for UCLA, he'd pick Rachel.

_Shocker._ Yeah, it scared him that he cared about her so strongly that he'd honestly be willing to give up his dream. All for her.

But despite his mature realization, he was still a teenage boy and no matter how hard he tried to push aside the fact that she'd somehow betrayed him, he was hurt and he was angry. So very angry.

So when his phone rang once more, he picked it up without looking at the screen, expecting it to already be Rachel. "What?" he demanded dryly.

"Is that a way to talk to your former coach?" Shelby's voice rang. He groaned.

"Sorry, Ms. Corcoran. I've had a rough day. Did you need something?"

"Yes, Jesse. An answer to my question. It's been a week and you never replied. Might I remind you what's at stake here?"

"No, please don't repeat it." Jesse grumbled. "Because I know my answer."

_It's for the best_. he echoed.

"And?"

_It's the only way. I still care. But a part of me just can't give up my dream._

"I'll help you." he croaked. His chest felt heavy. His thoughts conflicted and he squeezed his eyes shut.

_You know what your problem is, St. James? You have an unwillingness to commit to a love that's real. You can kid around and try to convince yourself that it's just an identity crisis but you know deep down that it's a lot more complicated._

_Shut up, brain._

Despite everything he'd know prior to Rachel, he felt like he'd just signed a death sentence.

* * *

><p>Four days. That's how long Jesse had given Rachel the silent treatment. She knew she'd messed up big time with him already but she didn't expect him to be so hurt. It was a mistake- people make mistakes all the time. Did he really need to punish her this way?<p>

So, four days. It was already Tuesday once more when the final bell rang to dismiss classes for the day. Rachel was at her locker, looking at the photo she had of them together and she wondered when things got so complicated.

When you betrayed him. she thought harshly to herself.

She shut her locker and practically jumped as she came face to face with Jesse. He still had a pained expression plastered on his face. But Rachel looked into his eyes. They looked different;neutral. As if he didn't care.

"Hi." she said at last. "Are you still mad at me?"

"You know," he started, ignoring her question completely. "Before I became friends with you I asked around about you. You know, I found out your rep, what kind of girl you were..."

"And what did they say?"

He huffed. "Most of them had no idea who you were."

She nodded. _Ouch..._

"The ones that did said you were kind of sneaky hot but that that quality was canceled out by a compulsive need to be right and a strange affinity for sweaters with animals on them."

Rachel opened her mouth and used her free hand to move her long hair in an attempt to cover the large owl print on her sweater.

"You wanna know what the funny part was?" he offered. "That even though no one particularly liked you, they all said you were someone who could be trusted."

Anger spiked from within her and she pursed her lips. "I still am. I have this pathological need to be popular, okay? I just want people to think I'm cool so bad that it clouds my judgment."

Jesse shook his head. _So this whole ordeal was sparked by the need to be popular?_

"Listen to me!" she rushed out. "As a fellow star in the making, you understand what it's like to have people _like _you."

He shook his head. "On that level, sure." Jesse looked deep into those chocolate brown eyes and then he shut his. No more. He couldn't keep this up anymore. "But as the guy who gave up everything to be your one and only, I just... I just can't see past this. I should've been enough for you, Rachel."

_Why wasn't I enough?_ he echoed again inside his head. He knew he was probably blowing this way out of proportion but how could he not? The world he was living in was a complete 180 from the one he'd been in for so many years of his life. And with his luck, the light of his life hadn't had enough faith in him to trust him. She'd lied. She'd tricked him. She broke him. He wasn't going to break up with her. He needed to follow Shelby's plan. But right now... In this moment, he couldn't clear his head from the hurt. From the anger.

Rachel shook her head. _No, no, no_. It sounded like a break-up. This... It wasn't suppose to happen. Not this way. Not now. Not after finally opening up to a boy only to have him give up on them... "I knew you'd break my heart." she whispered.

_**Turn around,**_

_**every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming around**_

There was a pause before he straightened his posture and looked away for a few seconds. Gathering up all the courage he had left, he looked straight at her and gulped. "Well, that's the funny thing about reputations. Everyone thinks I'm the big heart breaker but the fact of the matter is," he leaned down closer so only she could hear the pain in his voice. "You broke mine first."

_**Turn around,**_

_**Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears**_

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he started to walk away when she forcefully held onto his arm. "What is this? Are you... Breaking up with me?"

_**Turn around,**_

_**Every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes**_

Jesse looked down. "No. I just- I just think we need some time apart to figure things out." then he shook off her hand and walked away and out of her line of vision.

_**Turn around bright eyes,**_

_**Every now and then I fall apart**_

Guilt flooded her, wild and ravaging everything. It consumed her and she felt the tears pooling in her eyes. Grabbing her bag off of the floor, she raced to the nearest girl's bathroom and entered a stall, locking it and finally breaking down.

_**And I need you now tonight**_

_**And I need you more than ever**_

_**And if you'll only hold me tight**_

_**We'll be holding on forever**_

_**And we'll only be making it right**_

_**'cause we'll never be wrong**_

_It was stupid of you to do that. You knew what he was going through with his parents divorcing and him leaving his own teammates. His team. He had you and you had him..._

_...Then I let him slip away. _

Rachel let out a loud sob, her tiny frame shaking as she tried to suppress any more sobs to come.

_**Together we can take it to the end of the line**_

_**Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time**_

_**I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark**_

_**We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks**_

_**I really need you tonight**_

_**Forever's gonna start tonight**_

Jesse made it to his mother's house until he broke down from the fight he'd just had with Rachel. He didn't break up with her but it certainly felt like it. It was a game changer and he knew things between them wouldn't go back to the lovey dovey phase anytime soon.

But he had to do it. He had to because he was being blackmailed by his former coach. He was in the middle of a war between his parents. He was going through an identity crisis.

You're Jesse St. James. he repeated over and over again although he no longer knew what that meant.

_**Forever's gonna start tonight**_

_**Once upon a time there was light in my life**_

_**But now there's only love in the dark**_

_**Nothing I can say**_

_**A total eclipse of the heart**_

Rachel decided to change her Bad Reputation assignment. She didn't want the assignment to be tainted by her personal life- okay, who was she kidding? The alternative song she'd chosen had everything to do with her personal life right now. She knew where her heart lied- it was with Jesse. But since that confrontation in the hallway, things hadn't been the same. He still talked her her- well, he said hi and asked how she was but she could tell it was about social necessities. But he no longer gave her a ride to school. He didn't come over to her house anymore and they never held hands anymore.

It was as if they'd lost the hope to keep fighting for their relationship.

_**Turn around bright eyes**_

_**Every now and then I fall apart**_

_**Turn around bright eyes**_

_**Every now and then I fall apart**_

He watched Rachel sing her heart out and he wanted to get up and leave. He knew Rachel all too well- whatever she was feeling she channeled it into her performance. What he could tell right now it was that the emotion was heartbreak.

Jesse knew he was being cruel to her. But they needed some space- they needed to press pause on their relationship because as the time spent apart grew, it gave him time to rethink things. They'd been going too fast. They needed to slow down and remember who they were- that they were two separate people despite having so much in common.

_**And I need you now tonight**_

_**And I need you more than ever**_

_**And we'll only be making it right**_

_**'cause we'll never be wrong**_

Rachel wanted to cry because of how he was staring at her. He was giving her space but she didn't like the way he was doing it. It was cruel. It was pure torture. When they'd attended the local ballet class on Thursday, the session had been a full three hours of constricted emotions, unspoken words and honestly, so much sexual tension between her and Jesse.

The way he'd let his hands unintentionally graze and grasp her waist to how he'd lift her up without hesitation. At one point their noses skimmed each other and her breath had hitched. Skin on skin contact made her shiver, causing her to be a bit less determined to get the routine right. But she didn't care. All that she cared about was him.

Why hadn't she realized that sooner? Like, before she'd made the video?

Because she was being reckless and stupid.

_**Together we can take it to the end of the line**_

_**Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time**_

_**I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark**_

_**We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks**_

_**I really need you tonight**_

_**Forever's gonna start tonight**_

_**Forever's gonna start tonight**_

_**Once upon a time I was falling in love**_

_**But now I'm only falling apart**_

_**There's nothing I can do**_

_**A total eclipse of the heart**_

She couldn't finish the song- hell, she didn't get a chance to because everyone had already been walking out the door. They were all a bit mad at her- but when weren't they? Her 'team' didn't like her very much, especially right now.

But as Jesse was walking out, he seemed to care enough to finish the song for her. It was barely above a whisper but it made her have a bit of hope. Just a tiny spark of it was enough to carry her through the consequences of her actions.

_**Turn around, bright eyes**_

* * *

><p><em>Oh my. How the story has gone from happy to gloomy in just one chapter. It might read off as too fast but let's not forget there's a time lapse between episodes on the show. Rachel made a big mistake in Bad Reputation, in fact it was the turning point of her relationship with Jesse and now he gets to play the scorned boyfriend. I didn't want to change that. A story with a couple who's happy all of the time isn't interesting. There has to be conflict. Like Jesse mentioned in this chapter, there has to be a game changer. This... Chapter wasn't easy for me (emotionally). They didn't break up but like most couples, they fought. And because they're both drama queens, it hurt- a lot. Tell me what was going on through your head as you read this chapter, what do you think will happen next?<em>

**_-Fanatic4Fiction_**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

Another chapter! We're breezing by this story a whole lot quicker now, aren't we? I've been writing nonstop and editing it while still trying to finish up the last of my summer homework before I go back to- surprise!-_ band camp_. I know, go ahead and make the most perverted joke about it out there. Trust me, I've heard them_ all_. But this is my last year going to camp and I wanted to be fully committed to it. So, I will try to finish writing the story by the remainder of this week so all I will have to do it post the chapters next week. I'm thinking of a sequel (for season two) but it would all depend if you guys were willing to read it. Well, enjoy!

* * *

><p>"Oh my god, Puck!" Quinn gasped, covering her mouth and nose at the horrific smell. "What happened?" she used her other hand and flicked off a piece of trash.<p>

Puck sighed. "I shaved my mohawk. Apparently, geeks can throw me into the dumpster now because I'm 'vulnerable'. Whatever that means."

Quinn gaped. "They... threw you into a dumpster because you don't have a mohawk anymore?"

"Believe it." Puck said, crossing his arms.

Her lips twitched. "That's got to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"Why are you being nice to me? Shouldn't the missing 'hawk give you permission to kick my ass or something?"

The blonde smiled and shook her head. "Still the same Puck." she sighed. "No, actually, I came to ask you if you wanted to go to my next ultrasound."

His eyes alternated from her face to her bulging stomach. That was his baby in there... His. Besides, it couldn't hurt to go with her, could it? Things were already bad enough without his mohawk. So, he shrugged. "Yeah. Sure."

Quinn smiled warmly. "Great."

* * *

><p><em>Rachel shook her head angrily as she opened up her purse and started to take out large bottles of <em>_vitamin__ supplements. Mr. Schuester picked one up and gave her a strange look._

_"Uh, what are these?"_

_"My vitamin supplements." she said like it was obvious. "I'm taking them three times a day. I'm just exhausted. I even felt a tickle in the back of my throat and I never get sick."_

_Mr. Schuester shook his head. "I just don't understand why you're so tired."_

_She slammed down another bottle. "Because every song I sing in here is a solo. As you know, Mr. Schue, I have perfect pitch. Which also means I have a very sensitive ear."_

_He raised an eyebrow. _

_"None of them are singing." she gave him a look. "I know I needed proof, so I had a little talk with Lauren Zizes, president of the AV club."_

"Bugs in the choir room? I'm almost offended by the simplicity of your request," Lauren stated blandly. They were meeting incognito on the staircase.

Rachel put her hands on her hips. "Just tell me you can do it, Zizes. The microphones would have to be hidden."

Somebody walked by and Lauren froze until the boy was gone. "It'll cost you two bucks a microphone and a package of Snicker Bars for me to work. Take it or leave it, Berry."

Rachel nodded in determination.

_"You planted microphones in my choir room?" Mr. Schuester asked, baffled. _

_She shook her head. "That's besides the point, Mr. Schue." she produced a list. "I listened to that recording over and over again and here's the list of members who aren't pulling their weight." she slammed the piece of pink paper on the piano. There were six names on it. Six dreaded names._

_The teacher looked shocked. "This is half the club."_

_"Then do something about it, Mr. Schue. I can't get sick. I can't afford to."_

It's my only distraction from my messed up life, _Rachel wanted to add but decided against it. She was being dramatic enough without having to bring in Jesse_

So, her little chat with her show choir director is what brought them here.

"I am very disappointed in you guys," Mr. Schuester stated. He looked beyond pissed.

Finn shook his head. "I can't believe you narked on us."

"Don't get mad at me for exposing your laziness," she directed to Finn with sass. Turning around to face the rest of the lazy members, she shook her head. "I am tired of carrying all of your weight. Regionals is in a month, guys."

"I'm just trying to understand what's going on here," Mr. Schuester said. "Finn, why did you stop singing?"

"Because you started giving all the male leads to Jesse." Finn stated. "It kind of shook my confidence, you know."

"Ugh," Santana interjected. "What difference does it make? Everybody knows my job here is to look hot."

"My baby hormones are making me moody." Quinn commented, avoiding eye contact.

Brittany rubbed her temples. "There are so many lyrics."

"Okay," Mr. Schue said, ending the commentary. "A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. A glee club is about a myriad of voices coming together as one, alright? This ends now." he paced back and forth. "That's why your assignment for the week is to come up with the best song that represents how you see yourself, where you are in your lives right now. Your voice. Then, you're going to stand up here and sing your hearts out- all of you."

"Solos? In front of everyone?" Kurt asked enthusiastically.

"The club has lost its voice. It's time we get it back. I'll see you all for our after-school rehearsal."

* * *

><p>Jesse removed his earphones and put away his iPod. They'd barely arrived in San Diego and yet Andrea was already bursting with excitement.<p>

"Relax, we're not going to be doing much, remember?"

"I know. I know. But think about it Jesse, in a few months, we'll be living here!" Andrea clapped happily, earning a groan from Tyler who was still trying to sleep.

"Shut up." he mumbled.

Andrea frowned and ignored him, turning back to Jesse. "So, what did Rachel say when you told her you'd be gone all week?"

Jesse shrugged. "I left her a message with her dads. I didn't get a chance to talk to her."

Andrea's mouth opened slightly. "You guys- You guys are okay, right? You're not fighting or anything, are you?"

Jesse gave his best friend a dejected look. She gasped. "What now? What happened?"

He swallowed. "I don't want to talk about it- not now. This is suppose to be fun, remember? Talking to you about my relationship problems isn't fun."

Andrea didn't look satisfied but she knew better than to keep pestering Jesse at a moment like this. No, she'd ambush him later on.

* * *

><p>"Alright, let's kick things off." Mr. Schuester started. Rachel jumped up from her chair.<p>

"I was first on the sign up sheet so I'll kick things off." she said before urging him to go sit down. She scanned the room and breathed. "I have chosen Miley Cyrus' The Climb because it's about overcoming obstacles and beating the odds. In my case, the obstacle is you: my lackluster teammates who refuse to carry their own weight."

She cleared her throat, wincing slightly at the scratchy sensation. She figured she could sing past it but once she started, it was all down hill from there. Every word she sang was off key, pitchy, and just plain horrible. She herself was wincing along with her teammates who honestly looked like they were about to fall into a coma from her terrible singing.

_No...No, I can't- I can't be sick!_

It wasn't until Mr. Schuester grabbed her shoulder that she stopped trying to sing. He looked at her sympathetically. "Rachel, I think you've lost your voice."

"No, I didn't. I'm just- I'm just distracted." She cleared her throat and tried to start over but she winced as she got the same depressing results. " ?" she said in panic. "What am I going to do?"

The man opened his mouth, unable to utter any words of reassurance and that's when Rachel lost it.

It was really happening. She didn't have a voice anymore and she was worried that the problem might be permanent. Now, she hadn't been much of a believer in bad karma but the more she thought about it, the less inclined her hopes were.

_In other words, I'm fu-_

"Maybe you should see a doctor?" Finn suggested, cutting her thoughts short. Rachel bit her lip and nodded slowly.

Looking back at her teacher, she whispered softly and meekly, "Can I go call my dads?"

He nodded and she grabbed her things, face devoid of any emotion as she left without uttering another word. There was rustling in the background and she assumed if was Mr. Schue going to check up on her, but when she turned back around in the empty hallway, it was Finn that had followed her.

"I could go with you if your dads are too busy," he offered. The tall boy shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the lockers nonchalantly.

Rachel held her cellphone close to her chest. "Yeah- sure. I'd like that," she blinked twice. "You know, because I'm scared to go alone to a doctor's office and I don't want to deal with bad news all by my lonesome."

Finn nodded.

She held up a finger signaling him to hold on as she dialed her dad's number. He picked up after three rings. "Sweetie?"

"Daddy?" Rachel croaked. "My throat is hurting and I've lost my voice and I'm kind of freaking out right now. Do you think you could come pick me up and take me to the doctor?"

There was shuffling on the other end and she heard her father sigh. "I'm sorry hun, I can't. I'm really busy with work right now. Have you tried your dad?"

"It went straight to voice-mail."

"I'm so sorry. You could wait for me in the nurses office because I'll be done in three hours."

"No, no. It's okay. Finn offered to take me."

A pause. "Oh. Well, how nice of him."

"Yeah. Well, bye daddy. I love you," Rachel said.

"I love you too, honey." Then there was a click and she sighed, shutting her phone and placing it in her bag. She looked at Finn awkwardly.

"I guess you get to take me."

The boy laughed. "Cool. Let me just get my stuff."

* * *

><p>"And to our left is the auditorium. That's where most of the productions are held." The tour lady motioned toward a tall building and people quickly voiced in comments and opinions.<p>

Jesse had enjoyed it all so far. The scene was very different from Ohio, that was for sure. But no matter how much he tried to put his heart into the tour and to his future studies here, he just couldn't fully commit. Maybe a certain brunette had affected his vision?

I should call her. Apologize for being such an asshole. I was hurt but that didn't give me a right to say those things to her. To just leave and not say it straight to her face.

"Jesse?" Andrea voiced in. She shook his arm lightly, snapping him out of his inner monologue. "You okay?"

His eyes widened a bit the way someone does after just waking up. "Yeah, I'm just a little distracted."

Andrea studied his face for a minute. "Is this about you and Rachel?"

"What? No."

She didn't look convinced. "I grew up with you, St. James. I know when you're lying so tell me, did you guys fight or something?" she gasped and heads turned. Feeling embarrassed, she whispered, "Please tell me you guys didn't break up."

"We didn't break up," Jesse retorted, following the tour group absentmindedly. "We're just... Taking a break."

"What?" Andrea screeched, forgetting to be discrete. She grabbed the male diva's arm and dragged him to the side. "Are you insane?"

Jesse looked confused. "What?"

"Taking a break?" Andrea repeated. "Seriously? Are you stupid or did you want to practically break up with her?"

"We're taking a pause in our relationship. I never told her I didn't want to stop seeing her. I just... I just felt like things were getting too serious too fast."

"Duh, Jesse!" she shook him furiously.

He slapped her away with his hands, stepping back so she couldn't do that again. "What am I missing here?"

"You love her and you just can't admit it! You're scared so that's why you 'pressed pause'." she looked at him with sympathetic eyes. "Jesse, don't be afraid to take risks for a girl that loves you back. Trust me, I've seen it in her eyes. She loves you and you love her, whether you want to admit it or not."

"Since when did you become some kind of love expert?" Jesse said.

"Since I realized that true love was actually out there, like the way it is with the two of you."

He chuckled humorlessly and looked down at the pavement. "I've really messed it up, haven't I?"

"You're scared because it's something you've never dealt with." Andrea responded. She gave him a neutral look. "But you can't let your personal issues come between you and her. What you guys have is real and it would be very stupid of you to let her go."

_But it's just not that simple._ he wanted to tell her. _It's not just about me fixing my relationship with Rachel. It's about getting her to transfer to Carmel and be in Vocal Adrenaline because Shelby's blackmailing me._

Instead, he opted for, "What am I going to do?"

Andrea smiled sympathetically. "You are going to go back to that hotel, you are going to call up Rachel and apologize. Explain yourself. Tell her you made a mistake and you want things to work between the two of you. And that when we get back to Ohio, you guys are going to make up and move on with your lives together. Okay?"

"That was very specific." Jesse said. He felt Andrea give him a shove in direction to the street.

"Go!" she said.

* * *

><p>The doctor's office wasn't a favorite place for Rachel Berry. It was horrible.<p>

"What if he says I'll never sing again?" Rachel contemplated, staring up at the dull ceiling. Finn was currently rolling around in the rolley chair after the doctor himself had specifically told him not to do so. "I mean, who am I without my voice? I'm just this spoiled, annoying, only child-"

"Don't say that. There's like, so many awesome things about you." Finn added.

She rolled her eyes. "Like?"

Finn's gaze lowered to the floor. Not being able to come up with anything, he chuckled lightly. "Look, he's not going to say you'll never sing again."

Just as she was about to respond, the doctor entered the room, flipping through her papers. "Bad news, Rachel. You'll probably never sing again."

Rachel's jaw dropped and she gasped in horror.

"I'm kidding." the doctor said with a blank face. "You have severe tonsillitis which has resulted from an inner ear infection. From the looks of things, it's not the first time. You should have had your tonsils removed a long time ago."

"Why should I let you butcher my throat when resting my voice for a week and chugging down herbal tea will do the same job?" she screeched desperately. There was no way this man was going anywhere near what made her talented.

"This is a very serious infection-"

"I think she's worried about the surgery affecting her voice." Finn interrupted.

The doctor gave up and scribbled something down on the prescription pad. "At least start by taking these antibiotics. If it doesn't get better then we'll see where we go from there unless you believe they will adversely affect your dance moves." he ripped off the paper and handed to Rachel who received it with numb fingers.

The man left and Rachel stared hopelessly at the prescription. "What do you think I should do?" she asked Finn.

"Maybe you should ask your boyfriend. Oh wait, you can't because he's not here." he said sourly.

Rachel blinked, feeling the need to defend Jesse's case despite having to fight with him. "He's in California checking out the UCLA campus with his friends from Vocal Adrenaline."

Finn groaned, rolling around to face her directly. "When are you going to realize that he's not into you the way that I am? Do you think he's going to stick around if you can't sing? If you're a vocal cripple?"

"Stop it!" Rachel protested, shoving him away. She breathed for a moment to calm herself down. "Look," she began. "I know you've always been kind of jealous of Jesse. Even though he and I haven't spoken directly since the whole 'Run Joey Run' fiasco, you just have to accept the fact that I- I still care about him deeply."

_I love him._ She echoed silently.

"And I know he still feels the same way about me." she added.

* * *

><p>The week had gone by quickly and rather strangely. Kurt had sung a rather unfitting song for his persona in glee club the other day and she assumed that the whole faux manliness had something to do with his rocky relationship with his dad. Suddenly Mercedes and Santana were facing off for Puck's affection because, out of nowhere, Puck was interested in Mercedes. Quinn was just kind of mad at everything, lately though she claimed it was because Puck's mom never let her eat bacon. And Rachel had practically given up trying to make herself look presentable.<p>

What was the point in dressing up when there was no reason to live with her voice?

On this particular Thursday morning, she got out of bed, showered, ran a brush through her hair but didn't bother to try and make it look pretty. She just gathered up her long locks into a messy pony tail and pulled on some sweats and a long cardigan. She wasn't in the mood to try and make it coordinate. She grabbed her favorite bunny cereal bowl, poured in some generic brand and off to school she went. Nobody really cared how she looked, anyway nor did they ask. At least, not until Finn saw her.

"Are you, like, sleepwalking?"

She finished chewing. "You have to be able to sleep to sleepwalk. I am on my third day of antibiotics and I am not getting any better. Which means I'm going to have to have that surgery which in turn means my life is over."

"Don't you think you're being a little dramatic?" he said. She gaze him an unamused look. "Even for you?"

She stayed silent.

"God, I'm so sick of you feeling sorry for yourself!" Finn accused.

Rachel's brows scrunched together. "Why don't you get it? I am my voice. I am like Tinkerbell, Finn. I need applause to live!"

Finn stayed silent for a moment before speaking again. "I've got a friend I want you to meet."

"Not another doctor, I hope. I've seen six already."

"No, he's an old friend of mine."

* * *

><p>Pain. Sympathy. Regret.<p>

Rachel felt all those things on the ride home from Finn's friend's house. It was sad to see anybody talk about how they lost everything- literally. The boy not only lost the chance to play a sport he loved, but he lost the chance to go to school like a normal person, he couldn't even move his body from the chest down.

So, the question that lingered was: what the hell was she afraid of?

There were more sides to Rachel Berry than just singing and being a star. She was good at decorating, despite the fact that she couldn't quite convince her dads to let her change the theme of her room. It was embarrassing to have the room of an eight year old sometimes but she understood them- they just didn't want to lose their little girl.

She was pretty decent at writing. She could probably be like a songwriter or something.

But she understood why people sometimes acted the way they did when they lost something they cared about. It was a drastic change. All her life she dreamed of being a singer, a star because of her voice. But now? Now, she had to accept the possibility that it might just not be an option anymore.

It was hard to accept that, but she couldn't pine over it forever. Just like she couldn't pine over Jesse for the rest of her life. She missed him. Rachel admitted that she made a colossal mistake with that video and that she was wrong. However, there was something that she needed to get off her chest first. She needed to tell Jesse that, yeah, despite not even being a year together, she already loved him.

Finn cleared his throat, getting her attention. "We're here."

Rachel blinked. He was right. They were parked right outside her house. Smiling kindly, she moved to open the door but he stopped her.

"Wait, Rachel."

She turned her head back to him. "Yes?"

"I was an idiot to let you go."

She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Back when I'd first found out Quinn was pregnant. You were into me but I just played you because I needed you for the club. I'm sorry I was a jerk."

Rachel looked at him and sighed. "I forgive you, Finn. Thank you for apologizing."

Finn reached out and grabbed her hand. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" she asked confused.

"I mean, weren't we supposed to be together? Wasn't that your whole philosophy for us?"

She opened her mouth, tugging at her hand gently but it was no use. His hand grasped hers tightly. "That was before I met Jesse. After that, you and I were_ just_ friends. _Friends_." she repeated, hoping the point would get across but it seemed like he didn't get it because he pulled her to him using her hand.

Before she knew it, they were flush against each other and without saying anything else, Finn pressed his lips against hers. Rachel gasped into the kiss and used her other hand to push him away. It shocked her that he looked surprised.

Without saying anything else, Rachel opened the passenger door and raced into her house and up to her bedroom. The feeling of Finn's lips still lingered on her mouth and she shook her head. It felt wrong,_ so very wrong_. She didn't like it. They weren't Jesse's lips and it made her feel guilty.

_Does this still count as cheating even though I didn't want to kiss him?_

_She stopped short, staring at nothing particular and realizing what she'd just been admitting to herself all along. Rachel hadn't given it much thought before this moment but after __ (secretly) __pining over Finn before Glee even really began, she never imagined about being the one he'd pine after once she moved on. It made her laugh a bit at the ironic role change. Suddenly, she found herself being in a committed relationship the way Finn used to be with Quinn while Finn himself kept getting jealous of Jesse and coming up with new ways to break them up. _

_But the fact was that it finally happened. The moment Finn's lips crashed into hers, she'd felt that it wasn't right- she'd finally proved that there was no other boy in her life except Jesse._

_So why didn't the proof make her any more inclined to tell Jesse that she loved him already?_

_**Another summer day **_

_**Has come and gone away **_

_**In Paris and Rome **_

_**But I wanna go home **_

Rachel threw her bag on the floor of her bedroom, feeling emotionally drained. She bit her lip as she grabbed her cellphone, taking it with her as she climbed onto her bed above the covers. She set it down in front of where she lied and just stared at it. Waiting.

_**May be surrounded by **_

_**A million people I **_

_**Still feel all alone **_

_**I just wanna go home **_

_**Oh, I miss you, you know**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you<strong>_

_**Each one a line or two **_

"_**I'm fine baby, how are you?" **_

_**Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough **_

_**My words were cold and flat **_

_**And you deserve more than that **_

Jesse fumbled with his cellphone. He'd probably been holding it in his hand for the past couple of hours as he hung out alone in his hotel room. Let's face it: he was miserable without her. He missed her, he missed Rachel's laugh and her bright smile and he'd been stupid enough to agree to Shelby's request.

_**Let me go home **_

_**I'm just too far from where you are **_

_**I wanna come home **_

He licked his lips, dialing the all too familiar number, his palms sweating. It rang once before it clicked, his heart racing as he heard her beautiful voice.

"Jesse?"

_**And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life **_

_**It's like I just stepped outside **_

_**When everything was going right **_

_**And I know just why you could not **_

_**Come along with me **_

_**'Cause this was not your dream **_

_**But you always believed in me **_

"I'm sorry," he croaked. "I- I was stupid and I miss you. I was being stupid, I'm so sorry, Rachel."

She sniffled on the other end. "I miss you too. Hell, Jesse. I'm sorry for being stupid- I made that worthless video and I understand that I betrayed you."

"I overreacted. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, I was... I was just hurt."

Rachel held back a sob. "I know. So was I."

He breathed in deeply. "It's weird, you know."

"What is?"

"Being in a relationship. I've never really had a long term girlfriend before, so I guess I never knew what it felt like to be hurt by someone you lo-" he stopped and bit his tongue. "By someone you like."

Rachel nodded on the other end, a little disappointed because she thought he was about to say it- she thought he was about to say those three words.

_Whatever you do, Rachel. Don't mention it-_

"Say it, Jesse."

"What do you want me to say?" he asked cautiously but vulnerably.

"Those three words you were going to say before you stopped yourself."

"No."

Rachel felt a tear stain her cheek. She wiped it away angrily. "Why not?"

"Because- Because it's hard for me. I can't commit completely and I'm sorry for that."

"Stop being such a damn liar." she stated vulgarly.

His eyes widened in surprise. "I- I figured maybe you knew by now."

Her heart fluttered. "I did. But it isn't the same, Jesse. I want to hear those words come from your mouth."

_**Let me go home **_

_**I've had my run **_

_**Baby, I'm done **_

_**I gotta go home **_

"Why can't _you _say it, Rachel?" he asked. "Do you feel the same way?"

"Yes."

His heart rate sped up a bit and he choked back a sob. Yeah, that's right. Although Jesse St. James never cried, being just Jesse, he did. Being vulnerable was new for him but it gave him so much more insight for other people's feelings.

"Oh."

"Jesse... Please."

_**Let me go home **_

_**It will all be all right **_

_**I'll be home tonight **_

_**I'm coming back home**_

"No. I can't right now."

"Give me two good reasons why now isn't as good a time as any other." Rachel demanded.

Jesse chuckled with humor. He ran his free hand through his unruly curls. "Because I can't. There's only so much I can open up so fast with you, Rachel."

She shook her head. "And the other?"

"We're talking over the phone. If I were really going to say it, it wouldn't be over the phone. I'm not that kind of guy."

"You're the kind of guy who wouldn't even say it if he was here with me," she said sourly.

He actually laughed that time. It was soft and short but nonetheless, a laugh. "Good one."

"Does this- Does this mean we're okay now?"

Jesse thought for a moment, speaking slowly into the phone. "I miss you and I care about you but... But what happened only made me think about how fast we're moving. About how complicated our relationship really is."

"So what's the verdict?" Rachel questioned.

"We'll talk when I get back, okay?"

_No._

"Okay."

"But Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

He paused for a moment. He didn't want to plant the seed but his future was at stake. "If you could ever do something to be with me, would you? No matter how drastic it might be?"

"What do you mean? Like what?"

"I'm thinking about transferring back to Carmel."

_Oh. _Rachel thought.

"And I want you to come with me. I don't want to be apart anymore."

Rachel was silent for what seemed like a long time. She even sat up straight and stared at her bed comforter. "I- I'd have to have a bit of time to think about that."

He nodded. Guilt was weighing down on him but it had to be done. "I'll talk to you when I get back."

_I love you, _he thought silently.

"Yeah, we'll talk." Rachel repeated. She heard the phone click as he ended the call and she sighed, staring at the stupid device in her hands. She placed it back on her bed and observed it.

"I love you, Jesse."

* * *

><p><em>Turns out, both Rachel and Jesse are having commitment issues. Don't worry- there's better times coming for the both of them in the next chapter. However, I'm going to warn you prior that the drama isn't over- the bomb I mentioned last time is definitely ticking and it's only a matter of as to in which of the following chapters it goes off in. So when it does, and it will, be prepared because it's going to shock you.<em> _And said bomb will have some serious repercussions. _

_Tell meh what you thought about the chapter and review!_

-Fanatic4Fiction


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. **

_Hello my lovely readers! ;)_ Chapter 17 is finally here. Now... Are you ready? ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY PREPARED FOR THE 'BOMB'? If you aren't... Take a moment to do so. If you_ are_ ready, good. Enjoy!

* * *

><p><em>"Take out a piece of paper," Mr. Ryan instructed. "And on that paper I want you to write down your biggest dream- something that others might not know about. A dream you want so much that you're afraid to admit it because it may not come true."<em>

_Rachel happily scribbled down big star on her paper. She looked over at Kurt's and smiled, it was basically the same thing: star. Sneaking a peek at Quinn's paper, she rolled her eyes because it said: no stretch marks._

_After they were done, the man walked over to Artie, snatched up his piece of paper, crumpled it, and tossed it in the trash without so much as a hesitation._

_"Your dream is never going to happen." Bryan Ryan stated. Ninety- one percent of you will spend your entire lives living in Allen County, Ohio. So unless you wrote down that your dream was to work in a supermarket as a cashier or as an attendee for old people's homes, you're going to be very disappointed."_

_Mercedes huffed. "This is so depressing."_

_"I'm going to guess that a lot of your dreams involve showbiz," he made a gesture with his hands and Kurt and Rachel exchanged worried glances. "Well, let me tell you that showbiz dreams are the most unrealistic of them all."_

_"But that's what I want to do with my life." Tina stated, baffled._

_He gave her a faux sympathetic look. "Aw, look. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, I'm just trying to spare you of disappointment."_

_"I think we get your point." Mr. Schuester stated in annoyance. He looked... Pissed off._

_"Will Schuester is a prime example," Mr. Ryan continued. "He used to have that glimmer of hope in his eyes that I can see right now in all of yours. But he couldn't make it happen for himself, he now has to try and convince you all that you've got what it takes despite the fact that his dreams never came true." he panned the room with a deadpan gaze. "And neither will yours."_

_Tina let out a loud sob, turning heads and that's when Mr. Schuester lost it._

Rachel couldn't believe it. She had always known that it wouldn't be easy but she had her eyes set on the prize and her head in the clouds. Now, with Mr. Ryan coming and giving them all a harsh reality check, she wasn't as sure about her future as she used to be.

So in hopes to compensate her disappointment, she was currently invoked in Laurey's dream ballet from Oklahoma!

As she graced those final twirls, a shadow caught her eye and she stopped, moving the hair out of her line of sight as she came face to face with Jesse.

"Hi." he stated softly.

Rachel looked down. "Hi." She took three steps forward, crossing her arms but never lifting her gaze off of the floor. "How was your trip?"

"Good." Jesse looked away as well, his eyes searching the dance room. "It's good to be back."

Get the courage to look her in the eyes, St. James.

He took a deep breath and moved away from the balancing bar, striding closer to Rachel. She in turn took steps backwards. "What were you just rehearsing?"

"A guy came to glee club to talk to us about dreams." she avoided his gaze as she bent to pack up her things. She needed to look busy so she wouldn't break down. "Luckily I've known mine since I was four years old."

Jesse's eyes widened.

"I'm going to play three parts on Broadway. Evita, Funny Girl, and Laurey in Oklahoma." she zipped up her bag and swung it on her shoulder, finally looking at him. "I was just practicing her dream ballet with Curly. It's what I do when I'm feeling... Stressed."

He pursed his lips and shook his head. "That's not a dream. A dream is something that fills up the emptiness inside. The one thing that you know, if it came true, all the hurt would go away. You singing 'Don't Cry For Me Argentina' isn't a fantasy," he said slowly, edging ever so closer to her body. "It's an inevitability." Jesse finally allowed himself to smile.

Rachel, seeing him smile as he said those words to her, broke down the walls and she practically lunged herself into his arms in a tight hug. "I missed you." she mumbled.

Jesse closed his eyes and rested his chin on her head. "I missed you too." he gave her a squeeze. "Especially your drama. I'm not leaving your side again, Rachel."

She shook her head, "I thought you'd never come back after what I did to you."

"Shh. I don't want to talk about that anymore. I've moved past that."

A shiver ran down her spine. For a second she'd forgotten some vital information. Even after their short phone call a week prior, she hadn't had the chance to tell him that Finn had put one on her. Jesse felt her mood shift and his eyes opened again. Rachel nudged him away slightly and he complied.

"What's wrong?"

"I need to tell you something..." she started. "And don't be mad because it meant nothing to me."

Jesse's heart rate picked up slightly. He didn't like the sound of this at all.

"Finn kissed me."

There was a moment of silence as she let Jesse take in what she'd just said. She figured he'd say something insulting about Finn but instead he looked a bit hurt and looked down. "When did this happen?"

"A couple of days after he took me to the doctor."

His eyes snapped to her instantly. "Doctor? What happened?"

"I lost my voice." she stated calmly. His eyes widened and she shook her head, her hands motioning crazily. "No, no, no. Don't worry- I'm fine now. I had laryngitis for a week. Nothing serious."

"Oh." he said, relieved. It's not that he liked Rachel just for her voice. Granted, it was a plus but he liked her because of how quirky and passionate she was. It was those qualities about her that seemed to break the ice he'd established around his heart after being neglected by his own mother and father. "Did you..."

Rachel shook her head again. "No, I didn't kiss him back. I was actually really mad when he did it- especially after singing Jessie's Girl in glee."

Jesse smiled. "He sang Jessie's Girl?"

Rachel nodded, smiling a bit. "Yeah, he was really confident that it would woo me, too. Unfortunately he was greatly disappointed." she took hold of his hand, guiding it so it'd be around her shoulders as she wrapped her arm around his waist. Honestly, she'd missed being close to Jesse in this way. Looking all couple- like, they walked into the hallway.

"So, what is your dream?" he finally asked again.

Rachel smiled blissfully at the fact that they were no longer in a bad place. "I don't know."

"Well, then go inside and find it and ask it what it's going to take." he said headstrong, catching her off guard.

"Why are you pushing this?"

He kissed the top of her head. "Because you're my girlfriend and I want to know all your secrets."

She laughed softly, cuddling up closer to him as they walked.

It's time. Now or never to plant the seed. he thought briskly. "When you lie awake at night, what's missing?"

Rachel slowed her walking and frowned slightly, the conversation losing it's light content as it tread into seriousness. "My mom."

He stopped walking and looked at her face. "Your mom? Like, you want to meet her?"

Jesse watched his girlfriend shrug. "I don't really need to meet her. I'd just like to know something about her..." for a second she looked like she was fantasizing about it and then she shook her head. "It's silly really. It's not like it's ever going to happen."

"Why not?" Jesse asked.

"Because my dads never told me anything and I didn't want to ask them anything because I was scared I might hurt their feelings."

He bit the inside of cheek, "Well, let's check it out without them knowing."

She didn't look like she wanted to so he took her petite hands into his own.

"Do you know why I came back here instead of just transferring back to Carmel?"

Rachel shook her head.

"Because I care about you and I want all of your dreams to come true. I want you to be happy, Rachel." he straightened his back. "And if this is one of your dreams then I'm not going to stop until it comes true."

Her lips turned up and she stared at him in awe. "Really?"

Jesse smiled as well. "Yes."

* * *

><p><em>"I'm glad you decided to come by," Shelby stated, never taking her eyes off of the dancers onstage. She was very picky about her choreography and she wanted everything to be precise with the song. But once she saw a flaw she had this tendency to stop the whole thing. "Stop! Stop! Everybody take ten."<em>

_Jesse stayed seated, looking as the members scattered, completely drained._

_"So? What's the news concerning your transfer back here?"_

_He shrugged. "Haven't given it much thought. Then again, you haven't given me much of a reason."_

_"Rachel's a star. She has more potential if she joins Vocal Adrenaline. It's where you both belong."_

_He rolled his eyes. "That's not good enough. She's my girlfriend and I care a lot about her, Ms. Corcoran. I don't want to hurt or manipulate her."_

_There was a moment of silence before the woman sighed, giving him a vulnerable look. "Please, Jesse. Help me get her here."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because she's my daughter." Shelby stated. Supporting her chin on her hand, she gave him a dejected look as his mouth opened in shock._

_"She's your what?" he practically screeched. "But- But she's got two gay dads who-"_

_"Who hired a surrogate. I was that surrogate and that's all you need to know about that."_

_"So... You're doing this because you want to meet her? Why don't you just go up and talk to her."_

_She glared. "There's legal matters behind that so that's why I need you to help me get her here. She's got to come to me."_

_Jesse stayed silent. "I told her I wanted her here with me. But I guess I'll pry into it a little more,"_

_Shelby looked pleased. "Thank you, Jesse."_

And he'd done exactly like he'd said. He'd planted that seed of temptation in Rachel's mind about wanting to meet her mother. All he had to do now was just wait.

"I found her."

Jesse looked up from his notes and stared at his girlfriend's excited expression. "Your mother? Where?" He scooted himself along with his things into the other seat.

Rachel took his spot while informing him. "In the library." she opened up one of the thick folders that she'd brought along with her. "I've been researching her all morning, and as suspected, my intuition has been proven correct." she rummaged through the folder and produced a picture. "My mother is Broadway legend Patti LuPone."

Jesse's eyes widened. _This was... Far fetched._

"I've always had a deep connection to Ms. LuPone. Her choice of roles and songs... I decided to do a little math to see if it was even possible. I was born December 18th, 1994. 1994 was a big year for mother. She was a sensation in Pal Joey- but that was New York. I was born in Ohio, you say."

Jesse sighed. This was getting ridiculous.

"Well, mother took many breaks from the show to tour with Mandy Patinkin. That April, I found out they were at the E.J. Thomas Hall in Akron, Ohio nine months before I was born."

"Wait, wait." Jesse said, motioning his hands for her to pause. "Are you saying that your fathers impregnated Patti LuPone in the marriott in Akron?" his lips twitched. "Was Mandy Patinkin in on it, too?"

Rachel groaned, showing him a picture of said Broadway legend. "All you have to do is look at her in her performance for Master Class in 1996. Look at the pain in her eyes and the hurt she's feeling from giving up her obviously talented little girl."

He pursed his lips. "One question: what was in it for her?"

It seemed like she didn't have an answer because she stuttered a bit. "Uh, money? A sense of charity for those in need?"

He gave her an unconvinced look and made an unsure noise. It seemed to break her excitement.

"I know, I guess you're right." she closed the folder, putting away the picture. "Do you want to hear my research that proves that my mother is Bernadette Peters?"

He moved to hold her hand. "Why are you so afraid to find out the truth?"

"I don't know. I guess I just don't want to think that my mother is some teenage trollop like Quinn or worse, some skanky girl who would do anything for money including giving me up."

"Why does it have to be one of those choices? Maybe she had a really good reason for giving you up."

"This was stupid to begin with," Rachel sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder. She relished the fact that he was being so supportive and optimistic but in all her years she'd found that optimism rarely helped at all.

Jesse sighed and shook his head. "No. Do you know what we need to do?"

"No."

"We need to do an investigation. Like, CSI real. Do you have any baby stuff in your house? Something that might give us a clue?"

Rachel thought about it for a second, remembering the hoard of stuff in her basement. "My dads kept every piece of paper related to my life in files and cabinets in our basement. It's sort of a little Rachel Berry museum."

"Perfect." Jesse responded. _It'll give me the perfect opportunity to place that tape inside one of those boxes. _"We'll start there."

* * *

><p>After school, Rachel and Jesse promptly headed out to her house. The whole ride home Rachel was giddy; what if she found a picture of her mom in a box? What if there was like, a letter hidden somewhere?<p>

She shifted her gaze from the window to Jesse who was looking ahead at the road, a neutral expression on his face. He must have felt her looking because he turned his head slightly, his lips instantly turning upwards.

Rachel smiled and took his hand, holding it tightly. "I really appreciate you helping me with this, Jesse. It's nice."

"I'm your boyfriend. Did you expect me to just sit by and watch? I'm always here for you."

Warmth spread through her and she looked out the window again. After a few minutes they arrived at her house and she quickly got out, opened her front door and raced to the basement. Jesse entered the house a minute later and shook his head. The tape he'd concealed in his front pocket suddenly became very heavy.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. he thought as he walked up the stairs and to her bedroom. I mean, if she ever found out... She'd break up with me for lying to her.

Suddenly he heard Rachel's light footsteps coming down the hallway and he jumped up from the bed. "Hey, what took you so long?" he asked, taking one of the boxes from her and leading her to the bed.

"Sorry, there was just so much stuff down there, it's like a shrine. It's creepy yet flattering at the same time." she opened the lid of her box. "Anyway, these boxes had the earliest dates on them so..."

Jesse muttered a small 'oh', looking inside the box that was in front of him. It was practically all pink and white. He heard her gasp a little and she shook something.

"Aw, my baby teeth."

He shook his head, searching with curiosity. His hands retrieved an ultrasound screen shot and he showed it to her, smiling. "Look."

Rachel's eyes gleamed, intrigued. "Is that me?"

He handed it to her and leaned forward a bit. "It looks like you. You're in fifth position," he pointed out.

"Makes sense." Rachel agreed. "My dads used to play Vivaldi into my mother's belly."

Jesse smiled a bit more as he took out another photo, this time of a small infant with a tuft of brown hair and creamy olive skin and breathtakingly chocolate eyes. "This is you, too."

Rachel's eyes brightened up a bit. "I was such a... a _cute_ infant!"

He stared at the picture a bit longer, his thoughts sidetracking for a bit as he wondered how _their_ baby would look.

_Uh- if we ever had one._ he quickly echoed. _In the future, of course. The far, far, far away future._

She placed the picture on the side and continued to search, muttering something about cute baby shoes as he shrunk back, making sure she was preoccupied before taking out the cassette tape from his pocket. Shelby had recorded it prior to him going to school that morning. She'd practically threatened to revoke all UCLA scholarship privileges if he didn't sneak it in so Rachel could listen to it.

So, unwillingly, he placed it into the box and then took it back out all in the span of less than ten seconds, "Hey, what's this?" he said dumbly.

Rachel's head whipped back. "What?"

"From mother to daughter." Jesse recited, reading the fancy cursive from the blank card attached to the tape. Rachel's small hands took it from him with awe.

"Oh my god." she muttered. "She wrote this... She held this in her hand."

_Now or never, kid._ He thought, jumping up and taking it out of her hands. He quickly got it out of its case and walked to her stereo.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Rachel asked tentatively.

"Playing the tape." he stated blandly.

Rachel shot up, yelling "No!"

_Oh, crap._ Jesse retorted.

"Why not?" he asked again. "She wanted you to hear this!"

"I- I'm not ready!" She stuttered. "Look, this is all happening way too fast. What if she's singing on that tape? Oh my god, what if she's terrible? Or worse, what if she's better than me?" she rambled, pacing back and forth.

"I can't believe we're so close to your dream coming true and you're running away from it." Jesse answered, shaking his head. It hurt him so bad to see her all flustered like this.

_Screw Shelby's plans. I can't watch this..._

"No, no. It's my life. It's my choice and I- No. I'm not ready." Rachel finished, taking the tape from his hands and placing it gently back in the box. "I'm sorry Jesse but I think you should go."

"Rachel." Jesse said, hurt. "Don't push me away."

"Please Jesse. I need to... I need to take some time with this. It's not like it's some kind of worthless object I'm discovering. It's my birth mom." She looked at him with those doe like eyes and he caved, sighing as he left her bedroom.

_She didn't listen to the tape. What the hell am I suppose to tell Shelby?_

* * *

><p>It was raining so hard after-school but Jesse had forgotten to grab an umbrella. He quickly climbed into Shelby's car that was currently parked outside the McKinley High parking lot.<p>

"She has the tape," Jesse started, shutting the door. "She won't listen to it."

Shelby groaned. "What? She has to listen to it. That's the point of all this."

Jesse sighed in frustration. He just couldn't win with either of them, could he? "I'm doing my best! But when you asked me to do this to my girlfriend... I didn't think it'd be too hard. But the more and more I carry on this... this plan, it guilts me to see her struggle. I lo-" he bit his tongue as Shelby gave him an expectant look. "I care about her, Shelby. I don't want to see her get hurt."

"One more week." Shelby stated. "Then this can all be done and you can come back to Vocal Adrenaline, where you both belong, might I add."

"I don't get it," Jesse shook his head. "Why don't you just walk up to her and say, _'Hi, I'm your mom'?"_

"I told you, it's this legal binding..." she put her head in her hands. "I signed a contract. I can't contact her until she's 18, she has to come to me. That's why she has to listen to the tape. Once she hears it she won't be able to sleep until she finds me."

Jesse looked down. "How did you get roped into all this? Why go through so much trouble for a person you gave up?"

Shelby looked away sadly. "I answered an ad in the paper. Nine months work here would get me enough money to live in New York for two years. Her dads seemed like nice guys so I went for it."

There was a moment of silence before he heard her sniffle.

"I never got to hold her. I only saw her once when the nurses were cleaning her off. There were a lot of people in that room but she turned her little head and she looked at me." Shelby laughed humorless. "I failed as an actress. My walls are lined with trophies instead of wedding pictures. But through all of that, I only have one regret: giving her up."

Jesse watched remorsefully as Shelby wiped her eyes. "Now, you _get_ her to listen to that tape, understand me?"

He nodded once before climbing out of her car and into the rain.

* * *

><p>A day later it was as if even the weather knew exactly how Rachel felt inside. Her thoughts were... Ironically cloudy as she got through the day, sharing sad glances with Jesse every chance she got. She knew she was being a bit over-dramatic about it and that Jesse was only trying to help but what else could she do?<p>

She almost listened to her birth mother's tape.

Okay, it didn't sound too much like a bad thing. So what the hell was she afraid of?

Well, she was afraid of shattering the illusion that nothing was wrong with her life. All these years she'd come to understand that two men had raised her and nurtured her the way a mother and father would. She'd ruled out that there was even an existing woman who could've been her mother. If she was scared that, if she listened to the tape, her perfect little family portrait of her and her two dads might shatter and never be able to get fixed.

But the biggest mystery of all was why her dads never talked to Rachel about it. She knew her reasons why she never asked, but how come they never talked about it?

Those were the thoughts that her mind revolved around the entire day. Now, standing in front of her bathroom mirror, she couldn't help but wonder who she looked liked. Did her mother look completely different or did Rachel resemble her all too clearly?

If you never listen to that tape, you'll never know. she rambled. Rolling her eyes and combing through her hair, she had every intention to march out there and through that tape in the trash. After all, if her mother had really cared then she would have visited her years ago.

But surprises often came at unexpected times because she walked into her bedroom as Jesse finished placing the tape in her stereo once more.

"Jesse? What are you doing?"

He sighed, "I meant it when I said I was going to help make all of your dreams come true." he held up the empty cassette tape and Rachel shook her head, moving forward quickly.

"No, Jesse. I don't want-"

He intercepted her and held onto her arms gently. "Stop fighting it."

She let out a frustrated breath, trying to wiggle out of his grasp. Failing in the attempt, she looked into his dazzling clear eyes. They still, after all this time, took her breath away and made her heart ache.

Jesse stared back just as intensely, both of the teenagers feeling the atmosphere of the room grow heavy with tension.

"I- I'm not ready," Rachel whispered, never looking away.

He breathed, "Yes, you are."

Suddenly, they weren't talking about the tape anymore. No, it was something much more serious... Something much more personal, intimate, and scary as hell.

Rachel's eyes teared up a bit. "Jesse, it's not the right time..."

He leaned his head forward so their foreheads touched. "Don't fight it, please." he croaked, fragile. "Listen to the tape," he changed, shifting his tone slightly. He closed his eyes, trying to commit the feeling to memory. He wanted to remember this moment- this one moment where they were at sync with each other's feelings. The smell of her hair, the smooth sensation of her skin. He never wanted to lose this memory because he knew that once she met Shelby, he'd lose her.

So, Jesse clenched his tighter, leaning in to plant a full passionate kiss on her closed soft lips. He pulled away from her a few seconds later, fighting the urge to let his emotions take over completely. He had every intention to walk away after that but then she did something that altered his plans completely.

Rachel's hand grasped the back of his neck, bringing him in for another kiss. This one was more intense, more heated as he immediately deepened the kiss. Her other hand ran down his chest, causing him to shiver. His own hands grasped tightly at her waist, bringing her closer so their bodies were flush against each other.

He heard a soft moan escape her lips and that's all it took for Jesse to finally give in to what he craved: her.

It wasn't like anything Rachel had ever experienced. The burning sensation under the skin that his fingers trailed past was so inviting that she couldn't back away. She loved him with every bone in her body but with everything that was going on, she just couldn't bring herself to finally do it.

He placed small open mouth kisses on her neck and she sighed contently. His hands skimmed the bare skin of her arms, giving her goosebumps. Rachel's small hands tugged at his jacket, demanding that it be removed. Jesse complied, removing it quickly and tossing it in the corner before kissing her again.

"Jesse?" she asked, causing him to pause. She looked him directly in the eyes and smiled warmly. "I love you," she stated boldly.

His heart stopped at her confession. So, one of them had finally gathered up all the courage to say it out loud. He wanted to cry out in joy but it would definitely ruin the moment, so he opted to finally do what he'd been avoiding the entire time. He looked straight into her eyes, "I love you, Rachel."

Her stomach fluttered as she pressed her lips to his again, relishing the sweet sensation of being close. It ended as soon as it started as Rachel removed her lips from his, "Not tonight. Soon. But not tonight." She repeated.

He understood, nodding slightly but never straying from her embrace.

Then the epitome of the night finally happened. She led him to her bed, her eyes completely sure of what she was about to do.

"Rachel?" He asked breathlessly. "I thought you said-"

"I know what I said and that's not what I wanted to do right now," she informed. She situated their bodies under the covers of her bed. "I just want you to stay with me right now. I can't listen to the tape tonight. Tonight is about us being together. After all, it'll still be there tomorrow."

He swallowed but didn't protest. It was his guilty pleasure now to spend as much time as possible with her. After all, who knew if it was truly limited?

So they didn't have sex. They just held each other as they lay exposed emotionally.

But it was so foreign because Jesse had never just.. _slept_ girl before- it'd been just meaningless sex then a quick dash out. But right now, as he had Rachel in his arms, he couldn't believe what an idiot he'd been to parade around thinking he was too good for commitment. And although in the back of his mind he'd knew there'd be repercussions for his actions, including this one with the tape, he wouldn't ruin it for Rachel. She was special and she deserved to be loved the way she'd shown to love him.

She loved him. He loved her.

Somehow, all those months had finally come down to this.

They lied under her covers, their bodies entangled in a warm embrace. She was gazing at him like he was the most precious thing in the world to her, next to Broadway of course. He was looking at her with curiosity, with wonder at what she'd do next because he'd grown accustom to how spontaneous Rachel could be. Instead, he felt her head on his chest and her small sigh. After a few minutes, they were both fast asleep.

* * *

><p>He woke up a few hours later, noticing that night had come but that her dads obviously hadn't entered her bedroom.<p>

_Thank god_, he thought quickly. _They could've gotten the wrong idea. _He carefully untangled himself from Rachel's grasp, climbing out of bed and getting dressed quickly (his jeans had been too uncomfortable to sleep in). Reaching for a note pad and a pen, he quickly scribbled a note and placed it on her nightstand where she was bound to see it. Jesse licked his lips and kissed her cheek softly before stealthily walking out of her bedroom.

Dawn approached and Rachel awoke with a smile on her face. Last night had been... Refreshing for her relationship with Jesse. They'd finally taken the monumental step to proclaim their love for each other. Her eyes scanned the note Jesse had left behind. It wasn't much, but she sighed, knowing she'd have to get to it eventually.

_Last night was amazing. Listen to the tape, please. I love you and call me when you do. - Jesse_

After getting dressed, she carefully walked up to her stereo and hit play.

_"Hi, baby. It's your mom. I think this pretty much says it all."_

_**I dreamed a dream in times gone by**_

_**When hope was high and life worth living**_

_**I dreamed that love would never die**_

_**I dreamed that God would be forgiving...**_

Rachel's chest started to hurt. This was her mom's voice. It was great and she now knew who'd she'd gotten her talent from. It was strange and so heartbreaking to find out that she'd never heard the tape before.

Her mother was right- this was probably the perfect song to describe their situation. But who was this mystery voice? There hadn't been a name on the case and Rachel didn't want to ask her dads. And like usual, hearing this song made her all too emotional. Tears streaked down her face as she sang along with it- as she sang along with her mom.

She recalled all those years she'd spent yearning to know her mother. All those times that she'd dreamed about meeting her mom resurfaced and she chocked back a sob. This wasn't much but it was a step closer, that was for sure. Where was she suppose to go from here? She didn't honestly have a clue. If she felt lost before now that feeling was replaced by sheer desperation.

_Be hopeful. It seems like she wanted to stay... Right? _Rachel thought, over and over again. _It had to have been hard for her to leave you... Right?_

But then why did Rachel suddenly feel so numb as the song drew to a close?

* * *

><p>That morning in glee club didn't help out Rachel, either. It seemed like everyone was kind of glum about something. Even Jesse although she hadn't gathered the courage nor had the chance to ask why after what had occurred the previous night between them. But she'd grown to know Jesse well and Rachel knew that asking him about it right now would just lead them both into trouble.<p>

_**Stars shining bright above you**_

_**Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"**_

_**Birds singing in the sycamore tree**_

_**Dream a little dream of me**_

Shelby watched from the shadows as the McKinley glee club performed a rather sleepy number onstage. But that wasn't important. She couldn't take her eyes off of her daughter who was sitting sadly next to Jesse. Shelby knew that she must've already listened to the tape which meant that it was probably time to make arrangements for Jesse to return to Vocal Adrenaline. She prayed and prayed that Rachel would plan to follow him, after all, she'd seen the two teens interact and it was real despite how much her motherly instincts protested.

_**Say, "Nighty-night" and kiss me**_

_**Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me**_

_**While I'm alone and blue as can be**_

_**Dream a little dream of me**_

Leaving. By the time next Friday rolled around, Jesse would be back at Carmel with or without Rachel, no thanks to his mother. Jesse's mother was going on some cruise with a new boyfriend and despite him telling her he'd be fine all alone while still attending McKinley, she'd insisted he move in with his uncle back in Akron. She'd said and quote that there was _'no way in hell' _he would live with his father and his 'mistress'.

That's why he'd been distant this morning although he'd seen how sad Rachel appeared herself. She must have listened to the tape. Jesse wasn't sure what had _been_ on that tape but whatever it was, it had seemed to dull Rachel's vision somehow. He wanted to hold her in his arms and protect her from ever feeling like that but he knew he couldn't despite how much he could try. He just wasn't the one in the relationship to offer consoling. That was always Rachel's department.

_**Stars fading but I linger on, dear**_

_**Still craving your kiss**_

_**I'm longing to linger 'til dawn, dear**_

_**Just saying this**_

No matter how much Rachel and Jesse tried to convince themselves about having done the right thing the previous night, they couldn't help but feel guilty and just... Ugh. No matter how hard they tried to be happy and blissful, it never lasted too long because the world was constantly trying to break them apart. Sure, words were all that was exchanged but there'd also been secrets said- all except one.

_No._ Jesse thought. _Being with her isn't a mistake. Loving her and having her love me back isn't bad. I won't let it be a mistake. Not because of the distance. And definitely not because of Shelby._

Rachel bit her lip, looking down. She loved him and she'd shown him. But had it been the right time to do so? With all the worrying and trouble with finding out about her mom? Was she really ready for love even though she was just sixteen?

_Did I make a mistake? _Out of the corner of her eye she glanced at Jesse. _I want to make him happy- but there's always the chance that I'll disappoint him the way my own mother disappointed me. _

_**Sweet dreams 'til sunbeams find you**_

_**Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you**_

_**But in your dreams whatever they be**_

_**Dream a little dream of me**_

The brunette sighed, watching the number draw to a close. _I have to find her._

* * *

><p><em>By the word '<strong>bomb'<strong>, I definitely meant that they'd finally drop the 'L' word. It was kind of a big deal for me because it's kind of... Official. They love each other and are willing to do anything to stay together. But at the same time, they both have their own internal battles to fight. Jesse's dealing with his identity crisis due to his parent's separation and Rachel is battling with knowing where she came from, or better yet, from whom she came from. She wants to know (like Jesse) who she is. That's why I always thought she was so persistent in finding her mom on the show. It was something internal that she had to do for herself. But alas, the road isn't easy and neither is their relationship. There's three chapters to go and those are going to take a toll on their relationship as well. After all, Jesse's going back to Carmel because his mom demanded so and we'll soon learn how that plays out in their relationship. _

_Tell me what you think and review, please!_

_-Fanatic4Fiction_


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

_Two chapters left. Oh. My. Gosh. I can't believe it's almost over! MY BABY! I'd like to acknowledge a review by an anon with the username 'me'. You said that Jesse had already proclaimed his love for Rachel in Chapter 14 and I'd like to apologize. I didn't see that error anywhere when I'd gone through it before posting but eh, people make mistakes. If it looked like he'd already told her that he loved her earlier on then it was my mistake. It should've been in italics (because he's thinking it). Again, so very sorry for the confusion._

_A/N: Special shout-out to kauraREX and Encuentrame for reviewing like, every chapter of this story since the beginning of time (AKA when my posts were... short). I'm really, really grateful that **all** of you guys take the time to review. I hope I haven't disappointed any of you yet with this story._

_So, without further ado, chapter 18! Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><em>"Rachel?" Jesse asked, peeking his head through Rachel's bedroom door. She wasn't asleep, she was pacing back and forth rapidly.<em>

_She didn't look up. "Yeah?"_

_"Can I talk to you about something?"_

_Rachel stopped to look at her boyfriend. "Yeah, sure."_

_He smiled briefly and entered the room where pieces of Lima and Akron newspapers were lying aimlessly on the floor. "Uh, what's this all about?" he gestured to the papers._

_She sighed, "They're all from 1994. I'm trying to see if there were any birth notifications or if there was the ad my dads must've put in. I don't really know what I'm looking for specifically."_

_He shot her a look. "You're really devoted to this, aren't you?"_

_"I have to find her, Jesse." she said. "I have to stop wondering and see for myself who she was. Obviously she must have been a singer because her voice... It's so professional-like." Her eyes blinked. "Sorry. Off track. You wanted to tell me something?"_

_Jesse nodded and sighed, "I'm transferring back to Carmel."_

_Her heart could have stopped beating and that still wouldn't have been worse than what had just come out of Jesse's lips. "W-What?"_

_"My mom," he swallowed. "She's going on some kind of cruise with her new boyfriend and she's making me stay with my uncle back in Akron."_

_She looked at her hands. "You can't."_

_"I don't have any other choice, Rachel." he licked his lips and took hold of her numb hands. "But I want you to go with me."_

_"To Carmel?"_

_"You wouldn't get teased or slushied because you're in a show choir. Hell, you'll be praised. And I don't want to be without you," there was desperation in his voice._

_Rachel looked away. She'd already thought this all out. She couldn't bring herself to leave all of her team members hanging as she slummed it with VA. "I- I can't. New Directions needs me, Jesse." She turned back to face him. _

_He leaned his forehead against hers. "I need you, too."_

_"And I need you. But they need me more."_

_Jesse closed his eyes, a sinking feeling taking over him completely. Suddenly he felt like he wasn't good enough, like he wasn't enough to make her go. _

_"It's not that I don't care about you, Jesse." she started. "It's that if I transfer just to be with you, it'd be pointless after this year is over because you'll be gone and I'll be stuck all by myself for another two years. Two years, Jesse. That's quite a bit to be without you."_

_He groaned. She had a point but he didn't want to leave this room having failed at getting her to follow him to Carmel. But then there was that rational part of him that seemed to resurface __every time__ he was with Rachel. He couldn't force her to do something she didn't want to- if she gave in then she wouldn't be the girl he'd grown to care so much about. And if he forced her, he himself wouldn't be that guy that Rachel had cared for._

_He was stuck in an impasse. _

_"I see." he stated softly, removing himself from touching her. "I have to go but I'll talk to you tonight, okay?"_

_She nodded sadly, "Jesse-"_

_He turned around._

_Rachel chickened out, "Okay. We'll talk later."_

Rachel panicked. Jesse had been gone a week already and things were nostalgic at McKinley without him. But what had alarmed her before going to Glee on Monday morning was that a day prior, she'd been with Jesse while he rehearsed for VA. Or, better yet, waiting for him outside in the parking lot.

"Guys, we have a serious problem!" she stated sharply, hands on her hips as she interrupted whatever they'd been previously been discussing. "You know how I've been visiting Carmel High because of Jesse's transfer back and at the same time, doing background checks on Vocal Adrenaline?"

"Isn't that against the rules?" Artie questioned.

She shook her head. "No, not at all- well, probably. Anyway," she added. "What I figured out while I rooted through the dumpsters behind the auditorium were eighteen empty boxes of Christmas lights."

"Oh no." Tina muttered.

She nodded. "Which led me to the nearest fabric store where I asked them about red lace and they said they were sold out!" Rachel screeched.

"Oh sweet baby Jesus." Mercedes commented.

Kurt gulped as well, "Oh my-"

"Wait, what?" Mr. Schuester added.

"They're doing Gaga."

Mercedes shook her head, "That's it- it's over!"

"Exactly!" Rachel said defeated. There was no way that they could beat the opposing team if they took on Lady Gaga.

"That's it! We should've guessed it. They're going out for full theatricality. They know it's the easiest way to beat us, damn them." Kurt growled.

"What's up with this Gaga dude? He just dresses weird, right?" Puck asked, confused.

Rachel scoffed.

"Lady Gaga is a woman! She's only the biggest Pop act to come along in decades. She's boundary pushing, the most theatrical person of our generation, and she changes her look faster than Brittany changes sexual partners!" Kurt scolded.

"It's true," Brittany mumbled, messing with her earring.

Artie adjusted his glasses. "Well, it only makes sense that Vocal Adrenaline would want to pay homage. It's a brilliant move; she's a perfect fit for them."

"Hold on," Mr. Schue held up a finger to stop anybody else from commenting. "We might be able to kill two birds with one stone here. We can help Tina find a new look and find competitive number for Regionals,"

The club members started to murmur.

"This week your assignment: Gaga." Mr. Schue stated.

It was a riot between the girls and Kurt as ideas spilled out. Even Mr. Schuester looked super excited except for the guys who had unamused expressions plastered on their faces.

* * *

><p>"Five, six, up, clap, clap," Shelby instructed, snapping her fingers to the rhythm.<p>

"Do you think they'll be able to see us up here?" Mercedes whispered, moving along the dark upper level of the auditorium.

Quinn held out her hands to feel the walls and make sure she wouldn't bump into anything. "Can we go to jail for this?"

"Stealing their ideas is not a crime," Rachel said, moving along the rows and leading them to seats where they'd be able to see perfectly without being spotted. "Your shoes are making noise!" Rachel scolded Mercedes as she took a seat.

They watched with awe as the members of Vocal Adrenaline rehearsed without pausing until Shelby sighed with frustration, holding up her hands in defeat.

"Okay stop, stop!"

They quit their movements, breathing heavily.

"You guys aren't getting it." Shelby started, hands on her hips. "You're letting the costumes do all the work. Theatricality isn't about crazy outfits; it's not enough to dose yourself with gasoline- you have to set yourselves on fire to make it work!"

Rachel's eyebrows scrunched in awe. "God, she's good." she whispered.

"But being theatrical... It doesn't mean you have to be a nuclear explosion. It can be like a quiet storm. You just have to radiate emotion and express what's deep inside you. Now that's what theatricality is truly about."

Nobody said anything so she shook her head.

"Do I have to demonstrate?" Nothing. "Funny Girl, E flat." she motioned for them to walk offstage.

"Exactly what I would have done: Barbra." Rachel whispered. "I could do it in my sleep."

_**Funny, did you hear that? Funny**_

_**Yeah the guy said, "Honey**_

_**You're a funny girl"**_

Rachel's heart stopped as Shelby Corcoran's voice filled the room. Her breath grew rapid and she couldn't believe her ears.

That voice was the same as the one on the tape. It was the same as her mom's voice...

_**That's me, I just keep them**_

_**In stitches, doubled in half**_

_**And though I may be all wrong for the guy**_

_**I'm good for a laugh**_

Something inside of Rachel seemed to compel her as she stood up, ignoring as Mercedes tried to sit her back down. She had to find out and moved to get out of the row.

Quinn shook her head. "Hey, get back here!" she whispered quickly.

Rachel ignored her and kept moving.

_**I guess it's not funny**_

_**Life is far from sunny**_

_**When the laugh is over**_

_**And the joke's on you**_

_**A girl ought to have a sense of humor**_

_**That's one thing you really need for sure**_

Rachel edged forward, trance-like. She could vaguely think about how horrible Mr. Schuester might yell at her for 'spying' but she couldn't bring herself to stop. The feeling that the woman on stage could very well be her mother was both enticing and scary.

_**When you're a funny girl**_

_**The fellow said a funny girl**_

_**Funny, how it ain't so funny**_

She reached the point of no return as she was already about ten feet away from the stage. Behind her she heard the members of Vocal Adrenaline whisper things about her. But still she didn't care.

"Jesse?" Andrea whispered in shock. "What is Rachel doing here?"

Jesse's brows scrunched and he looked past his teammate. Sure enough, Rachel was walking ever so closely to the stage. His mouth felt dry as he figured this was it. Rachel would reunite with Shelby and all of the secrets would come spilling out. Half of him kind of wanted to stop her because he'd had a bad feeling about this ever since Shelby had confessed about being Rachel's real mother. Then there was that soft side that wanted her to be loved by her mother the way Jesse hadn't been loved by his own. He just didn't want his girlfriend to be unhappy or empty the way he still felt.

_**Funny girl**_

Rachel blinked and gathered up the courage to speak. "Ms. Corcoran?" she finally said.

Shelby's head turned to the voice, her own heart soaring as she came face to face with her daughter.

There was a moment of silence before the epitome of the event hit. "My name is Rachel Berry...I- I'm your daughter."

There were gasps along the group of teens and Jesse and Andrea shushed them all. Shelby blinked and looked back to her group. She cleared her throat.

"Rehearsal is over for today. Go home. Now."

Everybody rushed out and Shelby tucked some hair behind her ear. "Please, Rachel. Let's sit."

Rachel nodded and followed Shelby, her mom, to sit down. Once seated quite a distance away, she spoke, "Did you ever regret it? Giving me up?"

Shelby nodded. "Yes, then no. Then so much."

"When did you realize that it was the right time for me to find you?"

"I saw you sing at Sectionals. You were extraordinary." She murmured softly, "You were me."

"Was it hard for you not to become a star? To not have your dreams come true?"

"It felt like a broken promise. Like the Fischer King's wound. It never heals."

"Wow," she began. "Genetics really _are _amazing. You see the world with the same fierce theatricality as I do. I mean, even the way we're sitting right now... It's so dramatic yet we feel so comfortable with it."

Shelby sighed. "I've missed so much." her voice almost broke at the end and she wanted to slap herself for ever being stupid enough to let her own child be raised by strangers.

Rachel stared at her shoes. She didn't really know where to go from there. All planned questions escaped her mind at the moment.

"How do you feel?" Shelby asked again.

Rachel pursed her lips. "Thirsty," she mumbled.

Shelby's forehead scrunched and Rachel felt the immediate need to explain her response.

"When I was little and I was sad, my dads would always bring me a glass of water. It got so that I couldn't tell if I was sad or just... Thirsty."

The older woman nodded but felt... Defeat. She sat back once more and looked away. This wasn't her little baby girl anymore... She was talking to a fully grown teenage girl. _Her _teenagedaughter but Shelby felt useless. What could she possibly teach her about life that Rachel mustn't already know?

"I shouldn't have done this," she finally said, standing up with her briefcase in hand. "This was suppose to feel good. We were suppose to have this slow motion run-into-each-others-arms moment. This is all wrong."

Rachel blinked, breathing faster as her dream turned into a nightmare. "Maybe we could go to dinner or something? To get over the initial shock?"

Shelby looked at Rachel with sympathy. She could tell that Rachel wanted to make this work somehow and it pained her to say no. "I'm so sorry, Rachel."

The teen opened her mouth but nothing came out. No, this wasn't what she'd fantasized for so long. She wanted to get to know her mom, not have her mother reject her because it wasn't exactly like something out of a movie.

"I'll- I'll call you."

Rachel watched as Shelby walked out quickly. It felt like her heart was slowly breaking as the rejection hit her hard. She heard the final echo of a door slamming shut before she let the tears fall. So invoked in crying, she didn't notice when Jesse took a seat behind her until he pulled her into his arms.

"I'm sorry," he croaked. "I pushed you to do this."

Rachel shook her head. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault- you didn't have a clue that this was going to happen."

_But I did._ He wanted to tell her. Instead, Jesse just held her close as she cried silently and softly.

"Take me home, please." Rachel mumbled into his chest. Jesse nodded slowly and pulled her gently.

"Come on," he urged.

Weakly, she stood up, her vision blurry from the tears. She shook her head to stop another sob as she gripped Jesse's hand tightly and followed his lead. Once they'd exited the building and climbed into his car, she finally stopped crying.

"Thank you." she started.

His brows furrowed. "For ruining your life?"

"You didn't know." she repeated. "Hell, I didn't know that my own mother would reject me like that."

Yeah. She's a cold person, Rachel. Jesse thought silently, clutching the steering wheel.

"But I still have you." Rachel said, smiling small.

His heart sped up as guilt flooded him. He wished he hadn't been right about Shelby's actions. Hell, he wished he hadn't been so weak to let himself be blackmailed by his show choir coach.

* * *

><p>"Little monsters, take a bow!" Mr. Schuester praised, bowing himself as he watched the girls go all out with the assignment. "Ladies and Kurt, I am really impressed. Sit down, por favor."<p>

They all laughed and took a seat. "Do you know the best part about your costumes? Each one of these costumes shows off a different aspect of your personalities."

"Wait, where's Rachel?" Puck asked, looking around. "I mean, I only noticed because it's been five minutes without her obnoxious comments."

"Rachel got some intense news yesterday." Mercedes answered.

Quinn nodded. "We were spying on Vocal Adrenaline and-"

"Guys!" Mr. Schue interrupted. "That's not fair. You have got to stop doing that. But, you know, what did you find out?"

"Okay, y'all ready?" Mercedes teased. Everybody leaned forward to hear. "Ms. Corcoran, their coach, she's Rachel's mom."

"Are you serious?" Mr. Schuester echoed.

Everybody looked shocked and Artie mumbled something about burying the lead.

"That's it then." Puck muttered. "Rachel's going to jump ship to Vocal Adrenaline."

"Never," Rachel voiced in. She had been a bit nervous about showing her horrible Gaga costume which is why she'd hung out in the hallway for a bit. But she'd overheard Puck's statement and figured enough was enough. "I really don't want to talk about it, though because I'm still processing the news. And on top of that my dads are moving in my therapist into our spare room later on today."

She looked down. "All I know is that I've chosen a Lady Gaga look that expresses the longing for a childhood I was deprived of."

"You look terrible; I look awesome." Brittany said.

"I think it's the Kermit the Frog look." Mercedes suggested.

Rachel rolled her eyes and moved a bit. However, the movement caused a small frog to fall off of her costume.

"Oh! We have a jumper!" Kurt said.

"These are just stapled on because my dads can't sew..." Rachel explained.

"Guys, why don't we worry about this later and try to focus on the song?" their instructor said.

Rachel nodded. "I couldn't agree more."

* * *

><p>"What is wrong with you?" Jesse said angrily, watching as Shelby opened her office door. It was ten minutes before rehearsal and although Jesse promised himself to wait until afterward, he just couldn't do it.<p>

"Excuse me?" Shelby questioned.

"How could you make me go through all that trouble to get Rachel to listen to the tape, and then... _And then just shun her?"_

"I didn't know it would feel so wrong." Shelby tried.

Jesse shook his head. "I'm not falling for any of those lame excuses, Ms. Corcoran. I've been your student for four years now- do you really believe I don't know when you're lying? Rachel is heartbroken. What part of that don't you get?"

"I understand that I might have hurt her feelings but you just don't get it, Jesse." she scolded, sitting down at her desk. "I wanted my baby back. But Rachel's... She's an adult now and she doesn't need me anymore."

"Then why didn't you tell her that?" Jesse suggested. "Why did you just leave her all alone without explaining yourself?"

"Because I'm a coward, okay? I was scared and confused and I had no clue on how to explain that to her."

Jesse breathed deeply, calming the anger that boiled inside of him. He couldn't stand to see Rachel so sad and after everything that she knew about Shelby, the chance of her transferring died. "I don't like seeing her hurt, Ms. Corcoran. Despite the fact that she's your daughter, she's my girlfriend and I," he choked with his own words.

"You what?" she pressed on.

"She's my girlfriend and I love her," Jesse whispered gently, looking her in the eyes. "I'm in love with your daughter and I don't want to see her hurt."

Shelby recoiled slightly, "I know what kind of boy you are, Jesse. I've seen heartbroken girls roaming the halls because you used them."

He looked down briefly. "That was a long time ago."

She nodded. "I must admit that at the beginning of this year you have changed... That I have noticed." she smiled. "I'll talk with her about this. I'll make it right, Jesse."

The boy nodded. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>"And I don't want to hear anything about chaffing. It's not my problem that you have to wear metal underwear." Shelby stated through the microphone. "Everybody take ten." she returned to her notepad as Rachel walked forward cautiously. It'd been about a day since Shelby had made that empty promise to Jesse. It's not like she wanted to lie... It's just that she hadn't gotten around to actually speaking to Rachel about the whole ordeal aside from the email containing plans for a Friday night dinner at a local restaurant.<p>

"Mom?"

Shelby turned and looked at Rachel. "Aw honey, you have got to stop visiting me at work. I thought we agreed on meeting at Breadstix so we could talk?"

"I know but it's an emergency and I really need your help." Rachel frowned as she undid the buttons on her cloak to reveal the horrendous costume. "I didn't plan to come here today but.. I really, really need you right now."

Shelby shook her head in disbelief at what her daughter was currently sporting. "Oh dear god."

"My dads can't sew." she looked at Shelby. "I really need a mom right now."

_It couldn't hurt to help her, could it?_ Shelby thought. "Wait for me in my office. Rehearsal is almost over."

Rachel nodded. She probably waited a good twenty minutes before Shelby appeared inside her own office, a box of materials in hand.

"I've got some stuff here that we could use to make a costume." Shelby stated. She dropped the box on her desk and took out a mannequin from her supply closet. "Come here and let me get your size."

Rachel nodded and allowed Shelby to measure her. After finally getting the math part of the costume making settled, they got to work.

"So, what was your first impression of my dads?"

Shelby smiled, pinning some material in place. "I thought they were nice guys from the start." she said. "When we first met up they told me how hard they'd been trying to find a surrogate for their child. They told me that they'd wanted a little girl and had already tried adopting but that the state wouldn't let them."

Rachel nodded.

"They were desperate and they were so kind to me. They took me in for the duration of my pregnancy. They bought me maternity clothes and even let me pick out the baby stuff." she smiled. "I was fond of the color pink and yellow."

Rachel smiled. "They're really flattering colors."

Shelby nodded. "When you were born, they were so happy and thankful for what I had given them: you. But I guess what I did wish they'd let me do was hold you... At least once."

They looked at each other with a nostalgic feeling.

Shelby looked down and began to sew. "Your dads really can't sew?"

Rachel shook her head. "They tried to learn once, but it failed miserably."

"How are they?"

"They're happy, I'd like to think." Rachel answered.

They continued the casual chatter for the better part of an hour before Shelby smiled.

"Done."

Rachel admired the black and white costume. It was stunning. "You really have an eye for this kind of stuff."

"It's a gift." Shelby said.

Rachel looked at the costume then back at her. "Thank you, for everything."

Shelby smiled softly. "It's not a problem.

* * *

><p>"I'm sorry I called so abruptly." Mr. Schuester addressed, taking a seat in his chair. "But I didn't really have any more open spots for the week to talk."<p>

"I know why you called." Shelby said to Mr. Schuester. "And don't worry about it. My reconnection with Rachel is not some kind of plot to mess with you guys before Regionals."

Mr. Schuester shook his head. "I'm not worried about Regionals. It's Rachel. She's special."

Shelby nodded for him to continue.

"She's got all of the best of you; she's strong-willed, dramatic, wildly talented,"

"Go on," Shelby teased in a flattered manner.

"But she's not hard like you."

Shelby's smile disappeared.

"She's fragile, over-emotional, and she's clearly convinced herself that you are as committed to this reunion as she is," he shook his head. "And I don't think you are."

The woman flipped her hair. Who was he anyway to tell her what she was suppose to feel?

"You're not prepared to have a teenage daughter." he continued. "Are you?"

Shelby thought for a second, smiling without humor. "I can't have any more kids," she started. "There were issues a few years back then some surgery and that's that."

Mr. Schuester looked down.

"I really wanted a daughter. That's why it was so important for me to make that bond with her. But you're right. I wanted my baby back and Rachel's an adult now, she doesn't need me."

"Shelby," Mr. Schuester swallowed. "I can't tell you what to do but if you really love her then you have to tell her what you just told me."

Shelby looked broken for that moment. She knew that Will Schuester was correct. She couldn't keep stringing Rachel along if she wasn't committed to being a part of Rachel's life. But how could she just play with her daughter's emotions in the first place? She had to at least try and make it work, right?

_Be honest but don't give up on her_, Shelby thought. _Don't abandon her again._

* * *

><p>"St. James!"<p>

Jesse turned around, curious as to who could be shouting his name. He'd currently dropped Rachel off at her house and was still parked in her driveway when somebody had yelled.

Turns out, it was none other than Finn Hudson.

"Ugh, what?" Jesse complained.

Finn raged. "It was you, wasn't it? You're the one that made Rachel find out who her mom really was!"

Jesse shrugged. "What could possibly give you that idea, Hudson?"

Finn looked pissed. "I have my resources. Turns out a little birdy from your team went chirping all the way to McKinley to give me the news."

Jesse's eyes narrowed. "Who?"

The other boy smirked. "I see I finally have your attention, St. Douche."

Jesse shook his head and grabbed Finn by the collar of his shirt. "Who told you something like that?"

"Chris did." Finn felt Jesse let go and he shook his head, disgusted. "So, it's true then. You're the reason why Rachel's been heartbroken and confused about her mom. You're the reason Rachel wants to ditch us for Vocal Adrenaline!"

Jesse remained silent. He was going to get Chris for telling. For spying and possibly for almost ruining his relationship with Rachel.

"_You're _the reason why Rachel isn't with _me!"_ Finn exclaimed.

Jesse's eyes glared even further. "So that's what this is about, huh? The fact that Rachel chose _me_ over you?"

Finn stayed silent.

"You had your chance and you blew it, Finn. I'm not about to make that same mistake."

"She's suppose to be with me."

Jesse's lips twitched. "It's not my fault you lost her, Finn. Maybe if you hadn't been so hell bent on Quinn... No, I'm not going to finish that because if you hadn't been such a jerk for treating Rachel like that then I wouldn't have her today. So, actually, go to hell."

It happened like lightning. One second Jesse was insulting Finn and before he knew it, Finn's fist came in contact with Jesse's jaw. Instinct took over as Jesse delivered a serious blow to Finn's face as well. Both boys gave it their all as they tackled each other to the ground.

That's how Rachel found them: rolling around in the grass, punching and kicking each other.

"Stop! Stop it! Finn! Jesse!"

She tried to pull them apart but it was no use. She stood their trying until one of her dads came home and pried them apart.

"Now, you both know I'm not one for fowl language but what the hell is going on here?" Mr. Berry asked.

Jesse wiped some blood from the corner of his mouth. "A small debacle, Mr. Berry. It was pointless and I'm sorry for it happening on your front lawn."

"He started it." Finn accused, going for another lunge until Mr. Berry kept them apart.

"No more violence. It raises my blood pressure." he looked at Rachel. "Honey, go get Jesse cleaned up while I have a talk with Finn."

"Okay," she grasped Jesse's hand and pulled him into the house.

Mr. Berry pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to Finn. "Clean yourself up, son."

Finn took it, "Thanks."

"Now, what really went down?"

"Okay, so you know how Rachel kind of found her... Mom?"

Mr. Berry nodded sourly. "Yes, I'm aware. Rachel's told us everything."

"Well, she doesn't know about the person responsible for her finding out," Finn said.

Mr. Berry looked at him curiously. "Do you know who started this, Finn?"

"I do." Finn stated.

* * *

><p>Rachel skimmed through the music sheets in her folder. She had an idea for Regionals (well, another one) but she couldn't find the sheet music for the particular piece. Suddenly the click of heels made her lose concentration.<p>

"So, how'd your dads come up with the name 'Rachel'?" Shelby started, looking around the quaint auditorium.

Rachel smiled, "They were big 'Friends' fans." she watched her mom circle around the piano, stopping so she could stare at Rachel from across it. There was a small silence before Rachel nodded, facing the inevitable. "I know why you're here." she bit her lip. "To say goodbye."

The woman looked hurt for a split second before regaining composure. "I really wanted this to work." she leaned on the piano, desperation in her voice. "But do you know what really turned me? That story about how your dads would bring you water when you were sad... We're never going to have anything like that."

Rachel breathed in. It was a slap to the face, that's what Shelby's words were. "I wish we could."

"Me too," Shelby replied, empty. "But it's too late for us to have something like that. I just think that anything we do right now might be confusing for you."

"You said we could do this," Rachel murmured, swallowing back tears.

Shelby looked devastated. "I know... But sometimes things change. People change. They'll disappoint you the way I've disappointed you, Rachel."

"I just don't understand." Rachel said. "You're my mom and I feel awful right now... I should want to just fall into your arms and let you rock me and tell me it'll all be okay but... I don't."

"It's because I'm your mother, but I'm not your mom."

"So what? Do we just pretend we don't know each other now?"

Pause.

"That seems silly. I think we should be grateful for each other- from afar. For a while," Shelby explained.

Rachel nodded.

"But don't think for a second that I'm going to go soft on you during Regionals."

Rachel smiled, sniffling back tears. "Bring it."

There was another comfortable silence between them before her mother spoke up. "Can I have a hug goodbye?"

Rachel bit her lip, blinking. "Sure." They shared a quick, non-dramatic hug before Shelby pulled away, reaching for her briefcase.

"Can you do me one more favor?"

The teen smiled and nodded.

Shelby looked somewhat delighted. "Sometime when you're thirsty, you can get some water from this cup." she produced a glass that was blinged out with gold stars. "Gold stars are kind of my thing."

Rachel gave her an amused look. _Wow, genetics really are impressive._

"Of course." Rachel said. "Shelby?" she asked out loud. It was weird saying her name. "Before you go, will you sing with me? Just one time, it's sort of a fantasy of mine and it would really mean a lot to me."

"I would be honored." Shelby spoke.

Once they started, it was about as easy as breathing. Their voices, like how Rachel's fit with Jesse's, harmonized instantly and Rachel felt joy at getting to sing with her mother. It was strange on how they'd agreed to leave terms but she was hopeful that maybe one day they'd try to bond again. Maybe.

Shelby's voice was seasoned but Rachel's fresh talent flowed like a powerhouse. They meshed together perfectly and for the first time, Shelby Corcoran was proud of something she'd done. Rachel would probably be her one greatest achievement. It made the lack of wedding photos on her shelf worthwhile somehow. Her daughter was a firecracker and it was no mystery as to why Jesse had set his eyes on her in the first place. But Shelby was still wary about that one. She knew the type of boy that Jesse was. He wasn't much for commitment and although Rachel had somewhat agreed to keep things from afar, she didn't want her daughter to get hurt by a boy.

When they were done, Shelby saw the twinkle in Rachel's eyes. It was still odd how alike they both were. "You were really, really good, Rachel." Shelby said, gathering her briefcase and walking out of the auditorium.

Rachel stood there alone and let the tears fall. She'd held them in because she didn't want to make Shelby feel bad but once she was gone, Rachel practically wallowed in sadness. Yeah, she hadn't objected and she was hopeful for a future where Shelby and her would again meet but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. Her mother had practically shook up her world, messed with her feelings, and said _'No, I'm not ready. Sorry.'_

Sniffling and gathering up her courage, she shook her head. No. Rachel didn't want to be the victim forever. It wasn't worth it. She looked at the gold star cup and turned it so the giant star was facing her. She smiled small.

There was another shuffle and she looked up as Jesse walked slowly.

"You saw?" she rasped, sniffling a bit more.

He nodded. He sported a rather hurt expression and deep within his mind he was thinking of ways to possibly kill Shelby for making Rachel hurt all over again. Okay, he didn't have it in him to do anything drastic- after all, she was still his coach.

"Are you... Are you okay?"

Rachel gave him a deadpan look and he nodded.

"Right. Dumb question." Jesse sighed, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. "Do you need me to say anything to her?"

"No, both of us decided that this was for the best. And she's right- anything we build up now will just be confusing for the both of us." she pursed her lips, her brown eyes sad. "I'll survive."

He made a noise of disapproval and closed the distance between them. Sensing his intention, Rachel walked around the piano and met him halfway, crashing into his open arms. His warmth was comforting after the cold numbness Shelby had once again left inside of her. But Rachel understood her mother's reasons for cutting off their relationship yet that still didn't stop the teen from being absolutely miserable.

_I mean, what would you be feeling if you met your birth mother, spent some time together, then at the end have her dump you because she feels unready?_

Well, Rachel felt like a humongous disappointment.

"Have you been watching every time I talk with Shelby?"

His eyes closed briefly. "Guilty."

Rachel just shoo her head, only seeing the fact that she had an amazing boyfriend who stood by her side no matter what.

"I love you, you know." Jesse mumbled into her shoulder.

Rachel blinked the tears away rapidly. "I know."

* * *

><p>A knock on her office door threw off Shelby's concentration on a stack of legal papers. Her eyes came in contact with none other than Hiram Berry.<p>

"Where's your husband?" Shelby stated, motioning for him to take a seat.

Mr. Berry took it gingerly and sighed. "At home with Rachel. She's devastated."

The woman blinked. "I'm sorry."

"Why'd you do it, Shelby?" Hiram questioned, crossing his arms.

"Oh, don't give me that judgey look of yours!" she said frustrated. Clearing her throat, she shook her head. "I thought I was ready to know her... But I wanted my baby girl- not a teenager who can make her own decisions."

"What did you think would happen? She's a sixteen year old girl, Shelby! For crying out loud, you must've wondered what she'd say and feel!"

"I made another mistake, okay?" Shelby screeched. Hiram bit his tongue to avoid another shouting contest.

Her eyes darkened suddenly. "I keep making mistakes with her. First, I give her up. Then, I try to get to know her but she's such an adult now... What does she need me for-?"

"She needs guidance, perhaps." he answered, interrupting her speech. "There are certain aspects that Leroy and I can't help her with. There are things we can't teach her."

"Like what?"

"What do you mean?" Hiram asked incredulously. "Girl stuff. Monthly cycles, comforting from a woman's perspective. Sex questions-"

"Ah, okay." Shelby interjected, holding up her hands. "I get it. I know."

"Sometimes a girl needs her mother. You looked for her, Shelby. Not the other way around."

She remained silent.

"And I know that you put Jesse up to it."

Her eyes looked at him, feigning confusion. "I have no idea what you're-"

"You do. You made him pretend to like Rachel so you could get closer to her and she to you! You used a young teenage boy to manipulate my daughter-"

"She's mine, too!" Shelby shouted, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Then why didn't you give her a chance like she was willing for you, Shelby?"

She sighed heavily. "I already told you."

"I don't buy it."

Hiram's phone buzzed and he stood up, shaking his head at the woman in front of him. "Think about what you have done, Shelby. You wanted to be in her life, then fine. Leroy and I don't have a problem with that. But when you barge into her life, confuse her, then abandon her... Well, let's just say that next time you'll be answering to the both of us."

"Next time?"

"Take a chance, Shelby. I know that the confident, brilliant, beautiful, and talented woman we met sixteen years ago is still somewhere deep inside of you. You unfortunately lost her once. Don't do it again because she'll remember this time."

Shelby chewed the inside of her cheek as she watched the man leave. Who did he think he was to just come in here and demand that she change her decision?

Because it isn't right. She's still a girl with a lot to learn. And Schuester was right- she's fragile.

And whether she liked to admit it or not, she already knew how attached Jesse had become with her daughter. Now, it wasn't her favorite thing but after everything she'd done to Rachel in the last couple of days... Well, she deserved something to keep the light in her world.

Yet, it was so unlike Shelby to change her mind after it was set. She'd been so determined to keep what she'd said to Rachel in the auditorium. They'd acknowledge each other's existence until the time was right once more.

But what if that never came? What if Shelby ended up alone for the rest of her life all because she was too scared of changing what she already knew?

_Don't lose her. You said it yourself, _Shelby thought over and over again, hoping that at some point she'd gather up the courage to finally face her mistakes.

* * *

><p>Has anyone else noticed that my chapters get longer and longer as they go? Haha, I thought it was pretty weird considering the very first chapter of this story is so short compared to how much I write now. BUT, back to the topic: everything's pretty content with St. Berry right now but beware, chapter 19 is an emotional chapter and will have consequences that stretch into the final chapter and (maybe! spoiler!) into the sequel. Sooo, tell me what you thought of the chapter and review! :D<p>

-Fanatic4Fiction


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

_Chapter 19. One more to go then that's it! I'm really feeling nostalgic right now! Anyway, please, don't hate me for what's about to happen. I hope you guys will stay with me to the end because the next chapter is **it.** Everything (major) will be revealed and fixed and new things will be set up for the sequel. So, without further ado, enjoy!_

* * *

><p>"You want me to <em>what?" <em>Jesse asked, dumbfounded.

Giselle crossed her arms as Chris snickered from behind. "In Vocal Adrenaline tradition, we have to funkify the competition. Including that rag-tag team that your little girlfriend is on."

Andrea shook her head. "Don't you think that's getting kind of old? Besides, they haven't done anything to us."

Chris gave her an annoyed look. "Look Miss High and Mighty, the blogs and chat rooms are saying that we're going to lose to No Directions. Sorry but, I don't want to tarnish my reputation."

"You mean the one about you being an idiotic douchey man-whore?" Jesse retorted.

Chris took steps in an attempt to lunge at Jesse but Giselle held him back. "He's our lead, Chris. If you hurt him we automatically lose Regionals." she turned back to Jesse. "Are you with us or not?"

"Not. A definite 'not'." Jesse said in frustration.

"I'll take care of this, Giselle." Chris said, motioning for Andrea and Giselle to leave the room. He waited once the doors closed to glare at Jesse. "If you don't help us with this then I'm going to go blabber to your little girlfriend that it was you who set her up with Shelby."

Jesse's eyes landed sharply on Chris. "You do that and you'll have the fight of your life."

"I'm not scared of you, St. James. News travels fast and evidence does as well. Face it. You've lost your swag."

"I have not." Jesse rolled his eyes, refusing to believe anything that was coming out of Chris' mouth. "You're a known liar, Chris. Why should I take anything you say seriously? You're all talk and no game."

"I bet she doesn't know that you just used her. That you don't really care about her."

"Now you sound like-"

"Finn Hudson?" Chris smirked. "I see I have your attention, Jesse."

His eyebrows scrunched. "How the hell do you know Hudson?"

The other boy shrugged. "We've chatted. I have connections through the football team."

"Your attempts to scare me are weak. Mediocre. Unoriginal."

He shrugged. "Maybe so. But if you don't go along with this then I'm going to have to talk with Yentl." he shot up from his seat, patting Jesse's shoulder and proceeding to walk out.

Jesse stayed seated, a determined look on his face.

Just do the stupid number. It's not like it'll mean anything. You can explain to Rachel... She'd understand.

His other half disagreed, however. It was convinced that if Jesse went along with this, it'd be the first step to losing the one thing that made him happy besides music.

* * *

><p>"Funkify?" Rachel repeated, unsure. "Why?"<p>

Jesse shook his head. "It's a stupid tradition that we have at Carmel. We scare out the competition right before Regionals."

"And you're going through with this?" Rachel asked, shaken a bit. She realized that he no longer had ties to New Directions but still... To literally sabotage them and her?

"I have to," Jesse answered. "Regardless of how stupid this whole charade is, they're still my team. I've been with those people for four years of my life and if that's not commitment then I have no idea what is."

Rachel nodded, still not convinced. "I just wish you hadn't transferred. Then I wouldn't have to worry about the retaliation I'm definitely going to receive after you do this."

He leaned his forehead against hers. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Maybe I should have listened to you and transferred with you for the remainder of the semester."

"It'd be pointless. As much as I want you by my side at all times, I don't want you to just up and leave what you know."

"Like?"

"Your team. You're the anchor, Rachel. They need you the way Vocal Adrenaline needs me. And despite the fact that I know Hudson still has eyes for you, I'm not worried about us."

She smiled at his words, her hand finding his and intertwining their fingers. "Why not?"

"Because we feel the same way about each other. And there's no secrets."

Rachel's smile dimmed slightly with insecurity. "No secrets, right?"

_Don't tell her. She's still reeling from talking to Shelby._ Jesse echoed. He wanted to tell her it was him who'd set it all up but he couldn't out of fear.

"Exactly." Jesse stated, his eyes closed in bliss. He relished moments like this that he got to spend with Rachel. It made the insanity of his busy world less prominent.

"I love you," Rachel whispered.

Jesse smiled, ducking his head slightly and capturing her lips in a chaste kiss.

* * *

><p>She'd played her part well, feigning the worry and panic and definite surprise as she rounded up New Directions just like she and Jesse had planned earlier.<p>

"Jesse?" she said. "What are you doing up there with them?"

He licked his lips. It was almost like a dirty little secret. Their little acting scene. "Well, I transferred back to Carmel High, Rachel which means that I'm with them now. I'm sorry that it's come to this but you guys were awful to me. You never accepted me. You never listened to my clearly superior ideas."

Oh my god. Jesse thought internally. He sounded ridiculous at the moment. He saw Hudson step forward a bit.

"Why are you here, in our auditorium?"

He crossed his arms. "The blogs and chat rooms say that we're finished. That you're ripe to topple us. We just wanted to show you a little something that we put together a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment."

Rachel kind of wanted to smile and praise the fact that Jesse was playing his part so well. Her team was buying the act as was his own.

Soon, Another One Bites The Dust started and their intense choreography took over the stage. Most of the members in New Directions let their jaws drop at how clean the dancing was. Finn rolled his eyes and Rachel played the part of the scorned girlfriend. But throughout the entire thing, she and Jesse continually made eye contact, as if to reassure themselves that it was just an act, that none of it was real.

When they finally did finish, Giselle smirked at Rachel. "Thanks for letting us borrow your auditorium, guys. It's... Quaint."

The members of Vocal Adrenaline snickered as they filed one by one off stage. Only Jesse hung back for a second, giving Rachel the signal to meet him in later. When he left with the rest of his team, Mercedes was the first to speak.

"What did I tell you, Rachel? He was just using you! Using us!"

She bit her lip, crossing her arms as the rest of them pooled in their opinions.

"Okay, enough!" Quinn shouted, throwing her hands up in the air. "First of all, yeah, he tried to make us scared but when are you guys going to get it through your heads that Rachel was the one in the relationship with him? Not you guys."

They all fell silent and Rachel was grateful somebody was standing up for her.

"Quit being immature and face the fact that not everything is about you guys. Some things only pertain to one of us. Okay? So stop trying to butt into a relationship that has nothing to do with any of you."

"He played us all up there!" Finn interjected but Quinn just rolled her eyes.

"Don't talk back to me, Finn. I'm hormonal right now so just shush." she held up a hand in attempt to shut him up. She ushered the rest of them out as Artie began to talk about how it was Vocal Adrenaline tradition to psych-out the competition.

Finn didn't seem to know when to stop. And that was understandable. He was still caught up in Rachel and felt the need to prove to her that he was the better choice. If only he knew.

"I told you he was bad news, Rachel."

Rachel barely looked over his shoulder. "Well, my relationship with Jesse really isn't any of your concern, Finn. So please, leave it alone."

"I'm the better option here."

"You egged me and my house. You called me a loser and you rejected me after our first kiss together! Jesse never did any of that so please, drop it."

She breathed in and did another one of her diva storm outs. She had to find Jesse because right now, it felt too real. All of it.

Finn watched as she left, deciding that he'd had enough. He was going to tell Rachel about Jesse's little secret whether she liked it or not as long as it made her come back to him. So, naturally, he ran after her.

* * *

><p>"Jesse?" Rachel called out. A strong hand grabbed her arm, pulling her into the nearest empty classroom.<p>

"Are you okay?" Jesse asked, worried. Rachel nodded and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

"That was so weird. It felt like it was actually happening."

He shook his head. "I'd never let that happen."

She frowned slightly as she heard the classroom door open. Jesse pulled away from her arms quickly, his hand pushing her behind him.

"What are you doing here, Finn?" Jesse questioned.

The tall teen looked between Rachel and Jesse, putting two and two together. "It was fake."

Rachel moved to stand beside Jesse, nodding. "It was only way to convince his team to lay off."

"By fooling us? You lied to us, Rachel!"

"I didn't do anything," Rachel defended herself, her eyes furious. "And I honestly don't understand why you're so betrayed. It's not like it was personally for you."

He stared at Jesse. "You've got her wrapped around your little finger, don't you?" he nodded. "I wonder if she'd still feel the same if she knew your dirty little secret, Jesse."

Jesse shook his head, stepping forward slightly. "Don't do it, Finn. I swear, if you do it then this is the last day you'll ever see again."

Finn snickered. "I'm not scared of you, Jesse." he looked back to Rachel. "Remember Shelby Corcoran? Your mom?"

Rachel's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "What does that-?"

He looked back to Jesse. His chest was heaving. "Jesse was the one that planned it all. That tape you told us about? Yeah, he stashed it in your house. Him and Shelby were both playing you."

Tears pooled in her eyes and she shook her head rapidly. "No, you're lying." she turned back to Jesse. "He's lying, right?"

Jesse didn't meet her eyes and that's all it took for her to gasp out and sob. She stepped away from Jesse, her feelings raw and all too consuming.

"You didn't..."

Jesse licked his lips, turning to look at her. His eyes were red already. "Rachel-"

"You did."

He nodded slowly. "Let me explain."

"Explain what exactly?" she retorted angrily. "That you... you played me?! You told me the other night that their would be no secrets, Jesse! How could you sit there and lie to me?"

"I was scared of losing you, that's why!" he shouted. "I didn't want to hurt you any more than you already have been."

"Well, look how great that turned out," Rachel murmured. She blinked. "I- I can't do this right now. I can't think straight..."

"Rachel?" Jesse asked, choking. "What are you saying?"

"I need to think this through." she held onto her stomach as she walked out of the room rapidly. Jesse wanted to go after her but Finn held her back.

"Get your hands off of me, Hudson!" Jesse snapped, throwing Finn's arm back harshly. He'd had enough with this boy trying and trying to ruin his relationship.

"Leave her alone. You've done enough damage already."

Jesse bit his tongue. "Move away before I do something I'll probably regret."

He smirked a bit. "Give it your best shot."

Jesse shook his head, chuckling with dry humor before launching a surprise attack, punching Finn square in the chin. The tall boy stumbled backward before lunging at Jesse. Anticipating it already, Jesse dodged his lunge and grabbed him by the shirt, throwing him against the rows of chairs.

"Go to hell, St. James!" Finn roared, getting up and managing to push Jesse backward. Finn punched Jesse in the face as Mr. Schuester ran in, yelling for them to stop.

"Hey- enough!" he shouted, pulling the two teens apart. "What is the matter with you two?"

Jesse shook off Mr. Schuester's hand, wiping blood from the corner of his mouth. Now, he wasn't a violent person by design but that didn't mean he didn't know how to defend himself. "Nothing. I was just leaving."

Mr. Schuester looked at Finn. "What happened?"

* * *

><p>The whole choir room was silent and brooding as Mr. Schuester hastily scribbled down a word on the white board. When he moved out of the way, the word was clear.<p>

"Funk." Mr. Schuester stated. "Use it in a sentence." Nothing. "Come on, guys. Rachel?"

She sighed, defeated. "This cheese smells funky." Her phone buzzed and she looked at the screen.

"That's 'cause it's Fromunda cheese," Puck explained, holding it out and Rachel rolled her eyes, putting her phone away. It was Jesse but she wouldn't answer.

"Shut it, Puckerman!"

He held up his hands. "Okay, I was thinking of something more along the lines of: 'Vocal Adrenaline has sure put us all in a funk'."

"I'm so depressed that I've worn the same outfit twice this week." Kurt commented sadly.

"What if I told you I know how we can shove it right back down their throats?"

Rachel looked at him, unamused and uninterested. With her personal problems right now, she just couldn't bring herself to care at the moment. "New Directions is about to make their funk the P-Funk. We are going to get funked up. But the only way to do that is to beat them at Regionals. Vocal Adrenaline has never once done a funk number. They're a machine. A collective, synthesized soulless beat. Funk is soul meets anger," he pressed on. "It's passion is in its emotion and they don't perform with any. So, you have your assignment. I want you guys to turn McKinley into Funky Town."

The way he said it made others chuckle and Mercedes smiled. "You guys can relax, I've got this covered."

"Cool." Mr. Schuester finalized.

"Wait- I want a chance to get funky, too." Quinn stated.

People laughed. "Good one, Quinn. It even sounds funny when you say it." Mercedes commented.

Quinn payed her no mind. "You said funk was about soul and anger. I have plenty of both. Look at me! Look at my life! I'm furious!" she shut her eyes briefly the way a five year old would during a tantrum and Mercedes shook her head.

"Let's be honest. When white people try to get funky you end up with KC and the Sunshine Band."

Artie smiled, "I love Boogie shoes."

"Mercedes' racism aside, I will have something prepared tomorrow."

Mr. Schue clapped. "Alright, Quinn goes first."

The bell rang and as she got up, Mr. Schue stopped her.

"Rachel? Can I see you in my office for a second?"

Rachel rolled her eyes, grabbing her stuff and walking into his office. Mr. Schuester straightened out his tie. "You seem to be taking this Jesse thing pretty hard."

She looked down. "It's... Complicated, Mr. Schue. You wouldn't understand."

The adult nodded slowly. "Well, what's making it complicated? I mean, I only ask because I've had my fair share of bad relationships, too."

"How would you know?"

"I just got divorced because my wife... _Ex-wife,_ lied about being pregnant and she was constantly bringing me down and putting too much pressure on me."

Rachel sighed, "I'm sorry about that, it must've been horrible."

"It was but stop changing the subject."

"He lied to me, Mr. Schue. He told me there weren't any more secrets and then- and then I find out that he's the one who helped Shelby meet me."

His brows scrunched. "What?"

"He manipulated me!" she exclaimed softly, on the verge of tears. He took the box of tissues and handed them to her. She gladly took some, dabbing her eyes with it while still speaking. "Who's to say that he wasn't lying to me the entire time?"

"Rachel... Jesse cared about you."

"I'm insecure, Mr. Schuester. What if he never cared? He's such a good actor... What if it was all some diabolical plan to ruin my life? Shelby walked out on me, again. Jesse betrayed me by lying and being in cahoots with my mother. I'm heartbroken. Devastated. I've lost my will to live," she said, over-dramatically.

He sighed. "I'm sure that if you'd at least talk to him he'd explain why he kept it a secret but Rachel, I've seen the way he looks at you. He cares about you and I've seen that you care about him." he shifted in his chair. "And despite the fact that he's on the opposing team, I think it'd be really reckless of you to let someone like that go."

She sniffled, taking into consideration what he'd just preached. "Do you think I should take him back?"

"You broke up with him?"

"Not exactly... I just don't know where to go from here. Do I break up with him for lying or forgive him?"

He leaned forward slightly. "I think you should listen to what's in your heart."

* * *

><p>"You don't have to do this," Puck told Quinn.<p>

"I'm tired of being weak, Puck. I hate it and it's not me at all."

Mr. Schuester clapped. "Okay, Quinn. It's time for you to show us your funky side."

Quinn closed her eyes, getting up. "For some of us, just simply getting to class take a little bit longer. When you're pregnant, you're responsible for two lives and you're walking down the hallway, oppressed by the man. Hearing people call you fat. Sometimes, it hurts." she stomped her foot and pregnant girls started filing in from the hallways. To say the least, it was a bit disturbing. "Sometimes you have to stop and hold that precious life and say 'no'."

"This is offensive." Artie stated. "Who are these girls?"

"We're the Un-Wed Mother-ship Connection. And that's what we're here to sing about."

_**This is a man's world, this is a man's world**_

_**But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl**_

She stared at the group in front of her, frustrated by the fact that they didn't seem to understand what she was going through. She'd literally lost everything that she was familiar with. Her family. Her social status. Her boyfriend. Her own friends.

Identity.

Who was the real Quinn Fabray now?

_**You see, man made the cars to take us over the road**_

_**Man made the train to carry the heavy load**_

_**Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark**_

Was she really that unimportant to them now? It seemed that way. She was pushed and bumped into when walking through the halls. When she went out, people stared at her like she was exiled. But did she blame the baby that was growing inside of her? No. How could she? Her baby was innocent. If Quinn wanted someone to blame, it'd be herself and Puck.

_**This is a man's, man's, man's world**_

_**But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl**_

Don't think for a second that she hadn't been watching silently as other drama unfolded in front her. Like, the way Finn was pining over Rachel even though the brunette wanted nothing to do with him. She had to admit, she was glad Rachel had found someone more like her than Finn. Finn didn't deserve Rachel and he sure as hell didn't deserve Quinn. It took getting pregnant to realize just how overrated her relationship was with him.

_**Man thinks about little baby girls and the baby boys**_

_**And after man make everything, everything he can**_

_**Do you know that man make money to buy from other men?**_

Her eyes shifted to Puck. It's not like she didn't care about him because in all honesty, she did. Sure, it hadn't been a real relationship but they were living together and everyday she learned something new about him. But that was it. It was just... That. There was no relationship. There hadn't been one, it'd been just a hook-up resulting in a huge consequence. But that boy sitting up there was the father of her baby. She couldn't just ignore him. No matter what happened in the future, they'd always be tied by this baby.

_**This is a man's world**_

_**But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl**_

_**He's lost in bitterness**_

_**He's lost, lost somewhere in this, in loneliness**_

When she was done, everybody except for Mercedes rushed up to comfort her. Not that she blamed Mercedes, sometimes Quinn hated herself, too.

* * *

><p>"Jesse, can I speak to you in my office for a moment?" Shelby called out.<p>

Jesse followed her, confused but once they were inside, his confusion faded as he came face to face with Rachel's dads.

"Mr. and Mr. Berry." Jesse acknowledged.

"Have a seat, Jesse." they said in unison.

He took his seat cautiously. "What is this?"

Shelby sighed. "They wanted to speak to us both. I'm not sure why because Hiram and I already had a lovely chat the other night."

Hiram rolled his eyes. "Alright, let's get to the point. Rachel's devastated to know that the two of you were scheming behind her back."

"It wasn't necessarily scheming," Jesse started. "Well, maybe we could've handled it a bit better but to be fair my relationship with Rachel was a hundred percent real. Truthfully, I didn't know about Shelby being her mom until Shelby told me a couple months after Rachel and I started dating."

"It's true." Shelby stated. "He was already in a relationship with Rachel when I asked him to do this for me."

"Why? Why did you go and act like her little minion, Jesse?" Leroy asked incredulously.

Before Jesse could answer, Shelby sighed. "Because I threatened to revoke his UCLA scholarship if he didn't help me reunite with Rachel."

"You blackmailed a student? Really, Shelby? Really?" Hiram exasperated.

She looked down. "I didn't like the way I did things. I should've just come to you two directly instead of plotting behind your back and involving innocent people," she glanced at Jesse.

"Please, Mr. and Mr. Berry. I have to talk to Rachel..."

"I think she needs time to figure things out, Jesse." Shelby stated sharply.

Jesse's eyes widened as he stared at her. "So that's it, then? I help you and in the process I lose the girl I love?"

"You love our daughter?" Leroy asked.

The boy looked at him with raw emotions. "Yeah, I do. And I know I messed up by not telling her and by tricking her with that tape but I love her. She's... She's changed me in a way I can't explain with words and if I lose her then what's the point in caring about anything anymore?"

Both Berry's shared a look. After a moment, Hiram sighed, nodding. "We'll talk to Rachel about it."

"Really?"

"If she decides to resume her relationship with you then there's no hard feelings but if she decides to end it then I highly suggest you respect her decision, got it?"

You mean, the way Finn hasn't been doing these past couple of months? Jesse thought. Then he focused on Mr. Berry's words. If she took him back. There was that possibility that Rachel might not want Jesse back and the thought frightened him to the core. Rachel's his first love. He couldn't afford to lose her on top of losing his dysfunctional family and his own identity.

God, how he'd lost who he was. When he'd faced off with Chris earlier in the week, he had to admit that the oaf was right. Jesse wasn't Jesse St. James, the badass. He was just Jesse. The guy that had, in simpler, douchey words by Chris, been whipped to the core by a sixteen year old.

So, if they broke up, he'd understand but that didn't mean he'd give up without a fight. He was persistent. And after everything they'd been through together... He couldn't lose her because he made the wrong turn to help Shelby.

"I understand," he answered anyway, pleasing Rachel's dads.

* * *

><p><em>"What's the point, Mr. Schue? We're so clinically depressed that we're doing the wrong songs?"<em>

Artie's words rang and rang inside Mercedes' head as she finally found Quinn in the library, alone. She felt bad for her, which was ironic because usually Quinn was the one making Mercedes feel bad. She approached silently and unnoticed until she sat down across from Quinn.

"I'm so sorry, Mercedes."

"Yeah," she agreed. "You know, you may not be a minority but you sure know how it feels now."

"For nine months," Quinn pointed out. "You've had to deal with this your whole life. People making assumptions, calling you names? I seriously can't understand why you don't feel like yelling at people all the time."

Mercedes shook her head. "What's the point in getting angry?"

"Because it's infuriating." Quinn pressed. "I hate all the looks at school, don't even get me started on Puck's mom."

"You're not angry." she pointed out. "You're hurt. You just need someplace safe where you can dig through all that rage and get to the pain beneath it. So, it's decided. Saturday you move out of Puck's house and you move in with me."

Quinn looked at her in disbelief.

"I already talked to my mom about it. My brother went off to college and we have an extra room."

The blonde let her jaw drop in bafflement. "Mercedes..."

"It's cool. Us sisters have to stick together, right?"

Quinn smiled small until Mercedes held up her fist for a fist bump. Quinn gingerly did so and she laughed for the first time in a long time, she genuinely laughed.

* * *

><p>Rachel was currently in her bed, staring up at nothing as she shuffled through what songs to possibly sing at Regionals. The knock on her door threw off her concentration and she sighed, giving up.<p>

What was the point?

"Come in."

Hiram and Leroy appeared at her doorway and she did her best to smile. "Hey, daddies."

"Rachel, honey. Can we speak to you for a moment?"

"Sure."

They shut the door behind them and sandwiched her as they sat beside her on the bed.

"We think you should reconsider this whole not-speaking-to-Jesse-thing."

Leroy nodded. "It's better if you two have communication."

"Dad, he toyed with my feelings. He was just doing what Shelby told him to do."

"Sweetie, we talked to Shelby and Jesse today."

Rachel's eyes widened. "You what?"

"Shelby is sorry for making you feel confused-"

"Even though I don't buy it one bit." Hiram added.

Leroy rolled his eyes. "And Jesse's desperate to talk to you. He loves you, Rachel. And we've seen the both of you together. You love him too."

She looked down. "That's why I'm so confused. I just... I just don't know what was real and what was just an act."

"Honey, Jesse didn't know Shelby was your mother when the two of you started dating. It wasn't until a couple months after that Shelby informed him."

Hiram nodded. "What would be the point in telling you he loves you if he didn't mean it? Jesse does not look like the type of boy to be throwing 'I love you's to everybody."

"He is reserved when it comes to commitment." Rachel added, nodding.

Leroy stood up and Hiram followed lead. "Just, do what you think is best for the two of you right now. Whether you want to continue seeing him or whether you want to take a breather."

Rachel stared at her hands. "I'll talk to him tomorrow,"

"Just do what's best for the both of you," Leroy reassured, closing her bedroom door.

Do what's best for the both of us? Rachel thought seriously. I love him. He loves me. There's no reason not to continue this relationship.

She bit her lip.

_But it's just so risky. I'm too insecure. He's too reserved and I hate to admit it, but he seems lost now that his parents separated. _

_All the more reason to help him. _she suggested. _Then again, what if when he goes off to UCLA he meets someone better than me? Someone confident and prettier? What if we fall out of love by then?_

* * *

><p>"Where's Jesse?" Rachel asked cautiously. She was currently facing Giselle and Chris from Vocal Adrenaline, which was weird because she'd gotten the text from Andrea, telling her to go to the parking lot and meet Jesse because his phone had died. Apparently, that was a load of crap. "Where's Andrea?"<p>

The blonde guy smiled, holding up a phone. "She should know better than to leave her phone unattended during rehearsals. Right, Giselle?"

Giselle snickered. "That's right, Chris."

His cold eyes glared at Rachel. Making her feel small. "Here's the gist, Berry. You're going to lose at Regionals."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah? Who says? Face it, Jesse would never do something to sabotage New Directions or me so until the awards are given out, the prize is fair game."

"We've got Jesse on our team and you just don't have what it takes to beat us in the dancing department." Giselle explained.

"We'll see about that."

Chris shook his head. "We know you're a powerhouse vocally, Rachel. But we're going to have to demand that you don't take on a solo."

She scoffed. "That's outrageous. Who are you to come into our territory and tell me what I can and can't do for Regionals? I'm singing that solo and there's nothing you can do about it. Hell, may the best vocalist win!"

Giselle pulled out a carton from her bag, throwing off Rachel's staredown with Chris. "What is that?" she asked.

The darker haired girl smiled. "Oh, a little treat for you, Rachel. Courtesy of Jesse."

"Wh- What?"

Chris never took his eyes off of his prey as Giselle handed him a couple of eggs. "Don't you know? Jesse was the one that told us to do this to you. It's the second step to funkifying a rival team."

"We heard you're a vegan, Berry." Giselle further commented, taking one egg out and tossing it up and down on her hand like a baseball. "Take this into consideration, hmm?"

Rachel's feet seemed frozen as she shut her eyes, feeling the egg make contact with her body and crack, immitting an odor that made her cringe. She heard more footsteps behind her as more eggs pelted her from all sides. The only thing she could do was hide her face in her hands until it was over with.

"Did you really believe that Jesse St. James would fall for a girl like you? You're a loser, Berry." Giselle called out. "And you're not worth any more of his, or our, time."

Rachel opened her mouth, letting out a breath and removing her hands from her face. "I don't believe you."

Chris shrugged. "Then it's your problem if you stay hung up on a guy that never liked you to begin with."

"Jesse wouldn't do this. I know him."

The blonde signaled for the others to retreat and once they did, his mouth twitched in amusement. "Take it from the guy who's known Jesse for five years. He doesn't care about you- he's told me many times how he just wanted to sleep with you before doing what Shelby asked him to do. After he'd get you and Shelby to talking terms, he'd butt out of your lives for good. Why? Because he's a player who only cares about one thing: himself." he tossed the empty carton of eggs on the pavement and walked off to his car. Rachel sighed, attempting not to sob as she shook the remnants of the eggshells off of her body, her hands trembling as they retrieved her phone from her pocket.

* * *

><p>Jesse had gotten Rachel's text to meet in the McKinley parking lot. Although iffy about how things would go down today, he knew that Rachel loved him.<p>

But that was it. That was pretty much his only hope. He kept praying that her love for him and his love for her would be enough to get them past this bump in the road because honestly? This was it. Now or never.

He stood there until he saw her petite figure walk towards him. He'd expected to see her smiling radiantly but instead he was greeted by a neutral expression. He also noticed that she was covered in egg yolk.

"Thanks for meeting me," Rachel started.

"What the hell happened to you? Who did this?"

She held up her hands. "That's not important right now."

"Rachel."

"It was Chris and Giselle with the help from a few other Vocal Adrenaline members. But-"

Jesse growled. "I'm going to kill him!" he moved to backtrack in all attempts to get in his car and drive to Akron, to Chris' house and murder him with his bare hands but Rachel stopped him, her small hand holding him back.

"I have to tell you something-"

He nodded slowly, calming down. He'd put killing Chris aside for the moment to hear Rachel out first. "Did- Did you...?"

_**So, didn't you find love **_

_**or salvation in what they do, **_

"I did." she croaked. She reached down and took his hands. "Look, Jesse. I love you."

Warmth spread in his heart and he nodded again, feeling like maybe things would start to turn up here.

_**a heart is built of gold, **_

_**they fairies they are too, **_

_**its in the hands you hold, **_

"And I know you love me." she looked at him directly in his eyes. "But," she shook her head.

His small faded instantly as ice spread inside of him. His fingers grew numb.

_Please, God. No._

_**how long can we ignore, **_

_**we build a little more, **_

_**and then we break our truth **_

"It's over."

He blinked, gulping as he snatched his hands from her grasp. Rachel looked down, having expected this reaction.

_**I don't feel like I'm falling, I'm up against the sky, **_

_**I said I'd taken it all in to make the good life, **_

"But you just said you loved me... I- I don't understand." he straightened his posture. "Why are you doing this, Rachel?"

"Because I'm setting you free, Jesse."

"Setting me free?" He shook his head. "You don't make sense!"

_**I don't feel like I'm falling, I'm up against the sky, **_

_**let's grab the heart of the world and turn into the light **_

"Let's face it, you're going off to LA in a month. I'm going to still be here for another_ two years_."

"We can still be together even if it's long distance- Rachel, I'll visit on holidays-" he was desperate to change her mind. Suddenly it felt like his whole world was crumbling down.

"No." she said sharply. "You're going to go and be the best. Understand? Live your life the way you were suppose to and don't worry about me."

_**But I cannot turn around, **_

_**the angels hear me now, **_

_**go where **__**I'm**__** bound, **_

"I don't want to live a life where you don't exist," he answered.

Rachel let the tears fall. "I'm sorry, Jesse. I can't hold you back on your dreams. You'll meet somebody better over there. Somebody who's confident and sure enough not to let you go-"

"You aren't listening to me, Rachel!" Jesse protested, he grabbed onto her shoulders. "I don't want another girl, I want _you._ Only you. Why can't you understand that there's only you?!"

_**you smile like you know **_

_**the new world has been found **_

"Because I'm not enough for you! Because there's too much trying to tear us apart!"

"Don't give them the satisfaction of it, then! Fight, Rachel. Fight!" Jesse raised his voice slightly in desperation. "I can't lose you. You're all I have."

_**I don't feel like I'm falling, I'm up against the sky, **_

_**I said I'd taken it all in to make the good life, **_

"And you're all I have." she answered. Regardless, she didn't say anything to fix the situation. "I can't. You need to go and live your life to the fullest."

"Is this because of Shelby?"

_**I don't feel like I'm falling, I'm up against the sky, **_

_**let's grab the heart of the world and turn into the light **_

"No!" Rachel exclaimed. "I just think we're going at this too fast and I think- I think that if we're meant to be then we'll find our way back to each other."

He ran his hand through his unruly locks. He couldn't process this. "I thought we were on the same page, here."

_**I don't feel like I'm falling, I'm up against the sky, **_

"So did I. Then I got a reality check that we're not a perfect couple."

"Nobody is perfect- hell, _I'm _not perfect. But, you're exactly right for me, Rachel."

"I know. I just- we need a break. I need time to forgive and forget everything that's happened in the last couple of weeks."

His eyes flared. "Deep down you know it's you and me, don't you?"

Rachel bit her head. "I'm sorry."

They both stood there in silence, looking like a couple of hurt kids. The air felt different, now. It was... as if it were a dream.

_And the sad fact of my life is that this is one hundred percent real._ Jesse thought bitterly. _This is why the walls you built up around you were useful. As Jesse St. James you never got hurt. Not like this. _

_Well, I'll be damned if I make the same mistake again._

"So, I guess that's it, then?"

Rachel grimaced. "I guess."

"Then, I guess I'll see you at Regionals." he clenched his teeth, scorned. He knew that he loved Rachel and that wouldn't change instantly but the irony of the situation was to die for. He was_ that _guy. The one who broke the hearts, not the one that got dumped in a high school parking lot and went home to cry like a wimp. This was her decision. She chose this. She didn't choose him despite knowing that he'd always choose her.

Rachel felt heartbroken and guilty, she reached out to try and comfort him but he stepped back to avoid contact.

"Jesse..." she sighed. "I don't want you to hate me for this."

He gulped. "I could never hate you."

And with that, he walked away, never looking at her as he left the lot and found his car, getting in and driving off. He didn't see when Rachel broke down, falling onto the pavement in tears at what she'd just done.

You've succeeded in ruining one of the best things that's ever happened to you, Berry. Congrats. she thought bitterly, muffling her sobs with her hand.

_**Let's grab the heart of the world and turn into the light.**_

* * *

><p><em>Like I said earlier, I know. St. Berry has just broken up but don't fret! Things will twist and turn again in unexpected ways in the finale! Don't forget to review! The feedback is much needed and appreciated!<em>

_-Fanatic4Fiction_

_**A/N: The song that was used for their breakup is Gold by Wake Owl. Listen to the song while reading because it's ah-mazing.**_


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.**

**Holy crap! I lost the original file for this chapter so I had to re-write it completely from everything I could remember originally. I hope it meets your expectations and look for the sequel to this story in a week or two from now. It'll be titled 'We Found Love' and I'm working on the first couple of chapters of it already, so yay! Anyway, this chapter is such a roller-coaster but right now, I'm content with the ending (it also sets up story-lines for the next one). Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"Jesse? Can I speak to you for a moment?" Shelby called out over her microphone.<p>

Jesse sighed, standing up from the risers that were currently onstage. He didn't want to talk about anything anymore. He was just... Tired. Emotionally drained after Rachel had abruptly ended their relationship.

"Are you sick?" Shelby asked cautiously, inspecting his forehead for a temperature. Coming up with nothing, she frowned.

"I'm sick of the hypocrisy." He began softly. "I'm sick of the lies, the drama, the complications, but most of all Ms. Corcoran, I'm sick of love."

"Why do you say that? I thought you were in a rather serious relationship with Rachel."

He gulped. "She ended things a couple weeks ago and obviously I haven't exactly gotten over it."

She nodded in acknowledgment. "I see. Listen, kid. I don't want to tell you how to live your life or anything but in show business you can't let your personal life affect your performances. I've seen the way you practically zombie-d your way through that number a few moments ago. Your soul is gone."

"Haven't you heard?" he exclaimed humorlessly. "I'm a soulless automaton."

Shelby rolled her eyes. "The other kids out there may be, but you're special, Jesse." she cleared her throat. "And if you really love Rachel then you won't give up on her. She's sixteen and bound to make so many mistakes but do not allow this to be one of them, understand?"

His eyebrow shot up. He was kind of surprised that his coach was telling him to fight for her daughter's affections. "Are you rooting for me?"

She smiled. "Something like that. Now, I'm letting you go with a warning. Try to fix things with Rachel but don't let any of that drama affect this song for Regionals, understand?"

He nodded.

* * *

><p>"She's going to crush glee club," Santana repeated once more.<p>

Mercedes and Tina shared a look and Rachel blinked. "Tell us something we don't know, San." Quinn commented.

Santana rolled her eyes, "Listen, Preggers. Coach Sylvester said that she was going to be one of the judges at Regionals. She's going to pick us as last so Glee gets revoked. It's simple logic."

"Well, that's just fantastic," Rachel grumbled, putting aside her notebook and pen. They were currently in the choir room thinking about possible song choices to pitch in for the meeting later on in the week at Mr. Schue's. "Just another thing that I love that gets tossed away."

"Rachel," Mercedes began. "You've got to get over the whole Jesse thing. We funkified them too so it's all good."

"No, it's not 'all good'." Rachel croaked, getting up from her chair and excusing herself. She hadn't told anybody the actual truth about Jesse yet. Like the part where she'd been aware of the funkification but also that she'd been the one to break things off after getting egged. Although she never believed that Jesse had commanded his team to do such a horrendous thing, she couldn't help but feel... Doubtful. She wasn't beautiful like Quinn. She definitely didn't have a sex appeal like Santana did and she wasn't likeable the way Brittany was. So, why would he have ever fallen for her?

Who are you kidding, Rachel? Jesse cared about you- he told you he loved you.

She bit her lip, leaning against some lockers in the empty hallway. It could have all been an acting exercise, you know. You of all people know how devoted he is to his future career.

"Rachel?"

She turned around and faced Quinn. She had her hands around her bulging stomach. "Are you okay?"

Rachel sniffled and nodded. "I'm just- I'm just really worried about glee club."

The blonde shook her head. "You know, I can always tell when you're lying, Rachel. I've gotten very good at it."

Rachel opened her mouth but shut it again. What was the point in denying anything anymore?

"This is about Jesse, isn't it?"

The brunette nodded and Quinn sighed. "I'm just not over him, that's all."

"He betrayed you by going back to his team, Rachel. Then, he had them egg you."

"Quinn?" Rachel choked out. Her eyes looked up with uncertainty. "Can I tell you something private?"

The other teen nodded, waiting.

"That's not exactly how things happened. The whole Jesse thing and the egging. I left out some parts because I was too afraid of admitting them to myself."

"What are you talking about, Rachel?" Quinn asked.

"I was in on the whole 'funkification' thing with Jesse."

Her green eyes widened. "Rachel!"

She bit her lip. "And after his teammates egged me in the parking lot, we argued when I broke up with him. He never betrayed me- at least, not directly."

"You broke up with Jesse? I thought you two loved each other?"

Rachel shut her eyes. "I'm not good enough for him, Quinn. I don't deserve such a great guy..."

"Not good enough?" Quinn screeched softly. "You two are practically the same person! Why are you the only one who can't see that you're too good for any other guy here except for him? You're equals."

"I'm not pretty like you or the other girls in Vocal Adrenaline. I'm scared that if we stayed together while he went off the college that he'd meet someone better and-"

"Break your heart?"

Silence.

"So you broke his instead?" Quinn whispered and Rachel's lips trembled. "Rachel... You have no idea what a big mistake this is. What did you think you would do after this? Hook up with Finn Hudson and stay in this one pony town for the rest of your life while you wallowed in pity and misery for giving up your dreams?"

Nothing.

"Wouldn't you rather have a guy by your side that shares your same ambitions? Rachel, you are beautiful. And strong. And beyond talented. If that isn't a match for Jesse St. James then I don't know what is."

Rachel's brown eyes looked at the blonde. It was kind of funny how the roles were suddenly reversed. Suddenly, Quinn was the one being nice to Rachel. "Well, it's kind of hard to see myself like that when you told me otherwise for the past couple of years."

Quinn frowned, tucking a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Her caress tightened around her stomach. "I'm sorry for all that. I really am, Rachel. I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you even when you hadn't done anything to me. I was out of line with all of those offensive comments but I'm telling you now that if you let this guy go you'll regret it big time."

She blinked. "Do you regret not telling Puck that you love him?"

Quinn sighed. "He's the father of my baby. Of course I love him but he's... Puck. It's kind of hard for him to commit to one woman."

Rachel chuckled lightly. "Yeah." she sniffled again and sighed, "And you have a valid point. I was wrong to break Jesse's heart and I know that I have to fix it and... I will. Soon." there was another small pause before she continued. "Thank you."

Quinn smiled a bit. "You're welcome and I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you."

They shared a friendly look and Rachel's lips curved up. "Friends?"

The blonde nodded. "Yeah, we're friends."

* * *

><p>"He's my son," a voice boomed from the kitchen.<p>

Jesse had gotten to his uncle's house at the wrong time apparently because his father was currently sporting a red face and staring at his brother with rage.

"Well, your ex-wife wanted Jesse to stay here, with me." his uncle fought back. "And frankly, I don't blame her. You've always had a knack for being a first class alpha male douche-bag."

"I don't give a damn what you or my ex-wife says, I'm taking Jesse with me."

"Why?" Jesse interrupted, stepping into the kitchen. "So you can give me crap about how I'm not the son you wanted?"

"My reputation is already damaged because of the divorce and I'm holding a Gala at the house and I need you to come and support me." the man's lips twitched. "Think of it as an acting exercise or whatever, I know you like that kind of stuff."

Jesse rolled his eyes. He didn't know how much longer he could keep going on like this. With everything happening in Vocal Adrenaline to his current status with Rachel, he didn't really want his father wanting him to play pretend for his own gratification.

"I won't do it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have music to memorize." he turned to leave but his father grabbed his arm.

"You're coming with me whether you like it or not because at the end of the day, I'm the one who has to pay for your tuition at UCLA."

"I got that scholarship all on my own-"

"Who the hell do you think paid for your acting lessons? Your dance lessons? What about vocal lessons?"

He chewed the inside of his cheek. Damn. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. His father had a point, although he had paid for all of those things, Jesse still felt like he didn't owe him anything except maybe a black eye. "Just for the Gala. I'm staying here though before and after it happens, got it?"

The man stared at Jesse for a moment before letting his arm go and nodding. "Fine. But be at the house in the morning so nobody sees you sneaking in when it's going on later in the day. Don't be late."

Mr. St. James left the house and his uncle sighed. "I'm sorry you've had to deal with that for the past eighteen years, Jesse."

His blue eyes looked at the man in front of him. He looked so much different than his father even though they were brothers. "You don't have to apologize for his actions, you know." Jesse muttered, grabbing his backpack and heading to the guest bedroom.

If there's anybody to blame for his actions, it's nobody but himself.

* * *

><p>You're not going to cry, you're not going to cry. <em>Rachel kept repeating, her sulking face staring emptily at the stack of pizzas currently placed on Mr. Schue's coffee table. The rest of the New Directioners were there, their faces plastered with dimmed hopes.<em>

_"Nobody wants any pizza?" Mr. Schuester asked skeptically. When they didn't answer, he clapped his hands in attempts to lighten up the mood. "Alright, well, let's get started. Welcome to the first annual New Direction's Regional set list nominations party."_

_"What's the point, Mr. Schue?" Artie murmured sadly. "Coach Sylvester's one of the judges. She's gonna crush us."_

_He sighed. "Artie, you don't know that."_

_Santana scoffed at the choices of pizza and shook her head. "Yes, we do. She told us at Cheerios practice."_

_"Yeah, she said 'I'm going to crush Glee Club'." Brittany commented, depression heavy in her tone._

_"The whole freaking year was all for nothing." Puck complained. _

_Just when it seemed like it couldn't get any more depressed, heads turned as Tina started to sob. "I'm sorry-" she choked. "I just really love you guys."_

_Rachel's lips quivered. _

_"Do you know how many Facebook friends I had before Glee?" Tina asked __rhetorically.__ "Two. My parents. Rachel was right, being a part of something special made me special. I just can't believe it's going to be over in a week," she continued to sob and Mercedes leaned forward to pat her on the back sympathetically._

_Rachel, upon hearing Tina quote her earlier rambling from the start of the year, made her feel guilty. Guilty for not having the energy to work harder. Guilty for not giving it her all in the recent rehearsals. Guilty for all the dumb mistakes she's made over the course of the year from obsessing over Finn to falling for Jesse then breaking his heart just because she was an insecure little girl._

_"Wait- who says it's going to be over?" Finn asked._

_"Please," Mercedes began. "Do you think that Santana and Puck are even going to __acknowledge__ my existence once we're not in Glee club together anymore?"_

_"She has a point," Puck cleared his throat._

_"Mr. Schuester?" Rachel asked. "Do you think that instead of nominating songs we could all just... Go around the room talking about things we loved about Glee club this year?"_

Rachel bit her lip, realizing how much of an idiot she must've looked and sounded like the other night. They were supposed to be working on a way to place at Regionals, not soaking in their own little pity party.

"Hey- we need to talk." Finn announced, rushing to stand in front of Rachel.

She sighed, "I don't want to hear any of it."

"We had a chance at keeping it together at Mr. Schue's until you decided to bail. You're our leader, Rachel. The way you're on everybody is annoying but it's also what keeps the club motivated."

She opened her mouth to speak but he didn't give her a chance.

"But you and I are going to fix this. We're going to Regionals and we're going to win this thing." he asserted the last line and Rachel nodded.

She knew he was just trying to do what was best for the team and as much as she hated to admit it, he was right.

"You have a valid point, Finn. We've got to get the team out of this depressed funk."

"Yeah," Finn repeated. "We're going to make this thing work, I just know it."

Suddenly it felt like they weren't talking about the club anymore.

"Finn... I still love Jesse." she stated honestly. "I'll help you so we can win Regionals but it doesn't go beyond that, okay?"

"He egged you. And he betrayed the team." Finn rambled.

Rachel nodded. "Yes, he betrayed the team but no, he didn't egg me and I don't blame him for the fact that I did get egged. He's my first love and it was mistake letting him go and although it's none of your business, I'm going to tell you that emotionally, I'm still attached."

She walked around him without uttering another word, leaving a very stunned Finn Hudson on the staircase.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Schuester, Finn and I have something we want to say," Rachel announced.<p>

The director nodded. "But me first. Have a seat."

Once seated, he began his spiel. "Nine months ago there were five of you in here. And we sucked- I mean, we really sucked. Bad."

There were a few chuckles among the teens.

"One day, all of you are going to be gone. And all of this, all of us, will be nothing but a hazy memory. It will take you a second to remember everyone's names. Someone will have to remind you of the songs we sung or didn't sing. Life really only has one beginning and one end. The rest is just a whole lot of middle. And I love you guys too much to not let you make the most of it."

He paused to take a deep breath.

"Now, I was going to quit once but you guys brought me back with 'Don't Stop Believin'. It was a nine but we are going to make it a ten."

"We're doing 'Don't Stop' at Regionals?" Rachel asked astounded.

"And then some." Mr. Schue answered. "We are doing a Journey medley because who cares about what happens when we get there when the getting there has been so much fun?"

There were smiles exchanged and he turned to Rachel. "You had something you wanted to say?"

Rachel smiled her bright smile. "Just that we're really glad you didn't become an accountant."

* * *

><p><em>The Gala was perfection. The music was good and the <em>_champagne__ was chilled. But did Jesse really care about that? No. He hated the fact that snooty rich people were parading around his old home wearing fancy dresses and suits._

_"Put on a smile, Jesse. We're supposed to be supportive of each other," his father whispered. _

_Jesse bit his lip. "Have you talked to mother recently?"_

_Mr. St. James let his eyes drop. "No, I haven't. Why?"_

_"She hasn't been answering any of my calls lately."_

_"I'm sure she's perfectly fine parading around half naked with some Columbian stripper-"_

_Jesse's eyes glared at him. "Don't talk about her like that."_

_"Since when are you and your mother close, Jesse?"_

_Jesse shifted slightly. "We might not be close or anything but she's still the woman who gave birth to me. And she's a hell of a lot more tolerable than you are."_

_"You'll show me respect. You are in my house."_

_His lips curved up. "Of course. Does Candi enjoy taking my mother's place as the woman of this household?" When his father didn't answer, he scoffed. "Unbelievable. Did you already replace her with some other tramp?"_

_"The only whore who's ever lived in this house is your mother, Jesse." he stated._

_That was the last thing he said as Jesse's fist came in contact with his face. The watched in astonishment at the realization that he'd just punched his own father in the face in front of fifty people. There were gasps as his father held onto his jaw. _

_"Get out of here!" the man shouted. "You're nothing but an ungrateful little brat who doesn't deserve any inheritance or recognition from me!"  
><em>

_Jesse chuckled without humor. "As if that's any different from how it was when I was still living here!"_

_The music faded and there were people beginning to chatter about the scene happening before them. Mr. St. James shot up and straightened his tie._

_"What are you rambling about? I've always supported you and your art."_

_"No; you always supplied money so I'd shut up. If you cared about your family the way you tell the press than you wouldn't have let Grant and Anne leave. You wouldn't have cheated on mom and you definitely wouldn't have abused me!"  
><em>

_More gasps as Jesse shut his mouth and bit his tongue. His father's eyes were wide with Jesse's confession and the teen just shook his head. "I'm done being the victim. I won't let you do that again. Not to me. Not to mom. Not to Grant or Anne if they ever come back. I'm done here and you're dead to me."_

_He began to walk away as his father yelled after him. "Jesse, wait!"_

_But Jesse wasn't listening. For the first time in a long time, he felt... Free from the horrendous burden that was his father. Although he'd never liked either of his parents, he was beginning to see why his mother had been so harsh from the beginning. It was because his father changed people... He brought out the worst in them and Jesse had let him go on for years._

_Well. It was time that things started to change._

* * *

><p>Jesse licked his lips as he sighed the card and placed it in the bouquet of flowers he'd gotten for Rachel. He wasn't kidding when he'd said that things were going to change. He wasn't done fighting for Rachel. He had an attendee deliver the flowers to New Directions' dressing room and all he had left to do was wait until the competition was over to finally confront Rachel face to face.<p>

_I love you. Break a leg. - Jesse_

Rachel's eyes stung a bit when she looked at the card and then to the beautiful flowers in front of her. They weren't cliche roses. They were a mix of white and pink Dahlia's. It was so beautiful that she wanted to jump up and down with joy. And the fact that it had been Jesse that sent them meant that she hadn't completely blown her chances with him yet.

Good, because I need to talk to him after this. she thought.

The lights blinked and everyone started to rush backstage. Quinn looked at the bouquet of flowers and smiled knowingly.

Rachel, sighing with content, walked to her spot after Finn.

"Break a leg, Finn." she whispered. The tall teen nodded and smiled and both listened as the chords to Journey's Faithfully began.

_**Highway run into the midnight sun**_

_**Wheels go round and round**_

_**You're on my mind**_

Her small hands opened the doors and she stepped forward, the heat from the spotlight hitting her skin.

_**Restless hearts sleep alone tonight**_

_**Sending all my love along the wire**_

_**They say that the road**_

_**Ain't no place to start a family**_

_**Right down the line it's been you and me**_

She imagined singing this song to Jesse. It felt to right. Every lyric went along with their relationship. Hell. It was Jesse. It'd always been Jesse from the very beginning. She was lost without him and she knew how much it killed him being apart.

_**And loving a music man**_

_**Ain't always what it's supposed to be**_

_**Boy**_

_**You stand by me**_

Because now I know, Rachel echoed, following Finn's steps just like they'd rehearsed. I'm one-hundred percent faithful and committed to him. As crazy as it may sound, I think this is it. He's the one for me.

_**I'm forever yours**_

_**Faithfully**_

Filled with the adrenaline of the performance, she raced to her spot on stage as the curtains drew up, revealing the rest of New Directions.

_**Oh, oh, oh**_

_**Faithfully**_

_**oh, oh, **_

_**I'm still yours**_

_**Oh, oh, oh**_

Jesse watched from the alcove as Rachel belted out the rest of her verses. How'd he ever get so lucky?

It was that night after Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal. She'd needed a ride and he'd never been one to turn down a beautiful girl. He thought that she'd be easy to get with but as they got to know each other over the weeks and eventual months, he realized there wasn't anything easy about Rachel except the way it was when they were together. They were so alike that there were no creative differences.

And as the odds may have it, he cared more about her than his own family. Rachel was his rock. She kept him grounded and she'd changed him for the better. Because before her, all he thought about was being the star. Just the star: Jesse St. James. He'd pushed away his morality, the side of himself that made him just Jesse.

_**I'm still yours**_

_**I'm still yours**_

_**Faithfully.**_

Rachel caught a glimpse of Jesse as she finished the song. She smiled and looked down for a second before moving backwards to her spot for the next song. The rest of their performance was so energetic that she didn't have any doubt that they wouldn't place.

As they raced to their dressing room, Finn stopped her, a dopey smile on his face. "We did it!"

Rachel nodded and hugged him in appreciation. "Thank you for not quitting on us when Sectionals happened. You're the only male on this team that can practically keep up with me vocally."

Finn shook his head. "You're amazing, Rachel."

Then it happened. His hand grasped the back of her neck firmly as he brought her closer and he leaned in and captured her mouth in his just as Jesse rounded the corner. His eyes widened in shock and fury as he quickly backtracked, leaving the scene.

_You've just been played, St. James. _his mind echoed as he shook his head, getting ready to go onstage for his performance. His heart was hurt but his mind was furious at the fact that he'd become so damn weak. So emotional. For what? A girl who kept him at arms length because she thought he was too good for her. What did that even mean? He'd thought- He'd thought they were finally getting it mended together. _Well, this wouldn't be the first time somebody manipulated you._

Back in the dressing room, Finn continued to kiss her. She gasped, scrambling to get away from it. Once she did pull away, her hand flew up and came in contact with his face.

He held onto it tightly, surprised. "Ow, Rach!"

"What the hell, Finn? Who do you think you are?"

"I thought- I thought we were both feeling it!"

She shook her head. "No! I told you the other day that I love Jesse."

"When are you going to realize that he's not in to you the way I am?"

Rachel held up her hands in frustration. "When are you going to realize that I'm finally happy? I respected that you were in a relationship with Quinn and I moved on to let you be happy. I'm sorry that she lied but just because you got hurt doesn't mean you can come back to me expecting me to just forgive and forget!"

"I love you, Rachel!"

Her brown eyes grew wide. "You don't know what love is, Finn! You don't really know me the way Jesse does and I'm sorry but- it's never going to happen. We're not going to happen as long as my heart still belongs to him."

"Is that how it's always going to be, then?"

Rachel bit her lip, shrinking back. "It was always him-"

"Guys, Quinn's water broke!" Mercedes announced, a cellphone in hand as she dialed an ambulance. Rachel opened her mouth but no words came out as she raced to go check on Quinn.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Is this the real life?<strong>_

_**Is this just fantasy?**_

_**Caught in a landslide**_

_**No escape from reality**_

Rachel frowned as she stood next to the door. She had been looking for him for the last ten minutes to no avail. She'd thought that they would meet up or something to talk things out and was confused as to why he'd avoided her.

_**Open your eyes**_

_**Look up to the skies and see...**_

Jesse looked up into the crowd. His eyes scanned and he easily found Rachel's small petite figure standing with arms crossed near the entrance door.

_**I'm just a poor boy **_

_**I need no sympathy**_

_**Because I'm easy come, easy go**_

_**Little high, little low**_

He didn't need this. He didn't choose to feel hurt. To feel like he wasn't good enough for Rachel to give him a chance. He'd been led on and like a fool, he'd let the walls he'd built down only to get heartbroken.

_**Any way the wind blows**_

_**Doesn't really matter to me, to me**_

Jesse neared the piano and sat down, his fingers easily remembering the chords. He didn't want to wallow in pity. He had no desire whatsoever to waltz around like a lovesick puppy. He loved Rachel but he didn't want to be her toy. Although mature for her age, she was still two years younger than him and seemed like she didn't have a clue as to what she wanted. He already knew. He wanted her like he'd never wanted anything before in his entire life. Hell, when they'd had the college talk, she'd mentioned NYADA and what had he done? He'd auditioned for it (just for laughs, is what he told himself but who was he kidding? He wanted to be with her).

_**Mama just killed a man**_

_**Put a gun against his head**_

_**Pulled my trigger, now he's dead**_

Then there was his own father. The man who'd helped make him but had also played part in destroying him. That's why Jesse had become a hollow shell for years- everything was easier that way. It was better to not feel anything at all rather than coming home and feeling like he'd been the mistake. The one to drive his parents apart.

_**Mama, life has just begun**_

_**But now I've gone and thrown it all away**_

_**Mama, ooh**_

_**Didn't mean to make you cry**_

_**If I'm not back again this time tomorrow**_

_**Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters**_

He wasn't sorry for hitting his father. Hell, the man had spent fifteen years hitting Jesse and his siblings that the monster deserved it. How had he compensated for physically abusing them? Right, he'd bought them their silence.

_**Too late, my time has come**_

_**Sends shivers down my spine**_

_**Body's aching all the time**_

Did his mother know about the violence? No. Nobody had told her and whenever they'd have bruises they'd blame it on being clumsy. It seemed like lying was a genetic trait for the St. James family.

_**Goodbye, everybody**_

_**I've got to go**_

_**Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth**_

Yes; the truth. The reality was that he was Jesse St. James. Even at the end of the day when he'd be blinded with the illusion of first love would he still be that empty and heartless automaton, dancing and singing his way through life without something to believe in. It was all that he'd known. It was all he was sure about despite the countless efforts he'd made to fix it with Rachel when she clearly didn't want it to be fixed.

_**Mama, oooooooh (Anyway the wind blows)**_

_**I don't want to die**_

_**Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all**_

_I'm not some kind of puppy she can keep on a leash. _He thought. She was easy to be around but their relationship was.. Complicated. If that even made sense. He knew that deep down Rachel was insecure and he had his own messed up problems with his family. Alone they were unstable but together they seemed to make it work- they balanced it out and they were there for each other. At least, that's what it felt like to him.

_**So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye!**_

But for Rachel, he wasn't so sure. His mind drifted back to earlier when he'd walked in on Finn and her kissing. Fury and jealousy sparked through him and he did what he did best, he channeled it all into his performance.

_**So you think you can love me and leave me to die!**_

_**Oh, baby, can't do this to me, baby**_

_**Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here!**_

But it doesn't matter anymore. It's over; she made it very clear. So maybe nothing had changed over the year. He was right back where he started. Bruised and rejected. Empty. Numb. Alone.

_**Nothing really matters**_

_**Anyone can see**_

Rachel's heart sped up as an icy chill ran through her entire body. She knew this was just a performance and she knew how theatrical Jesse could be but... Why did she have the strangest feeling that he was singing this to her?

_**Nothing really matters**_

_**Nothing really matters to me**_

Except Rachel. Jesse added silently, seeing as Rachel began to retreat. It was really over between them but he knew deep down that he was always changing his mindset. Right now he was angry and hurt. But when the time passed, he'd be just as persistent.

_**Any way the wind blows...**_

* * *

><p>"Congratulations," Rachel announced, closing the lounge door behind her.<p>

Shelby paused her stirrings and looked up, crossing her arms over her torso. "Thanks, Rachel."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you have first place in the bag."

Shelby smiled. "Well, you were very good too."

Rachel smiled softly. "Jesse's a great singer and the way he sung out there... It had a lot of heart."

"Yes, I imagine that he channeled actual emotions for that one." she sipped her coffee. "Speaking of which, have you talked to him about you know, the breakup?"

"I will soon. I haven't had a chance to catch him yet so..."

There was an awkward silence before Rachel spoke again. "Shelby?"

"Hmm?"

Rachel's heart sped up as tears began to sting in her eyes. "I have a proposition for you." she moved forward, fiddling with her hands. "Come teach at McKinley."

Shelby's own eyes widened a bit at the suggestion. "Excuse me?"

"You and Mr. Schue could be co-directors," Rachel explained. "We'd be unstoppable and there's so much you can teach me." Rachel stopped short of nearing Shelby. "So much only you can teach me."

Shelby sighed. "Oh, Rachel... I can't do this anymore. I'm tired of coaching Glee club. I want a life. It took meeting you to realize all this stuff I missed out on. I need some balance, you know? I need a house, and a garden, and a dog..." her eyes shifted slightly to Rachel. "A- A family..."

Rachel gulped and nodded. "Oh." she wasn't a part of Shelby's life no matter how much she wanted and needed a mom.

Shelby sensed this and she moved forward. "I missed out on my chance with you and it kills me and I can't let that happen again."

Rachel's lips quivered slightly but nonetheless, she mustered up enough confidence to speak. "Then don't let it." she swallowed hard. "I'm right here, mom. I'm right here and I need you. I'm asking you to please give me a chance. I'm scared and I don't want to figure any of this out all by myself."

Shelby sighed as her heart felt heavy. She reached forward and brought Rachel into an embrace. Both females cried and sobbed at the reunion.

"Okay." Shelby murmured. "I believe you. I think we can figure this out together."

Rachel pulled away, nodding. "Thank you."

* * *

><p>Rachel shared a look with Jesse while they waited for the judges. When the audience started to clap, they both knew the judges were ready.<p>

"Thank you all for coming. As you all know, Glee club is such an important... And I honestly can't finish that sentence so let's get right to it," Coach Sylvester announced. She held up the envelope and Rachel's heart sped faster.

"And the 2010 Midwest Regional Runners Up are... the not at all stupidly named Aural Intensity!"

Jesse's eyes widened. He knew what was at stake for New Directions. If they didn't place, they'd lose the program. Now he began to panic because next came first place and it was them against him and Vocal Adrenaline. The bad part was that his team never lost a competition. Ever.

Both remaining teams moved up the stage as the other team celebrated their 2nd place. This was it- now or never.

"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, the 2010 Midwest Regional champions... Vocal Adrenaline!"

It was a madhouse. Everybody around him began to jump and cheer for their first place award but all Jesse could do was turn and look at Rachel. Her face said it all. She was devastated and he knew how much show choir meant to her. Hell, he wanted nothing more but to walk over there and tell her everything was going to be okay. He had every right to be mad but he really didn't want to be. Not with her.

* * *

><p>Quinn stared through the glass at the little baby in the pink blanket. As far as she could tell, the baby was perfect.<p>

"She looks like you," Puck stated. Quinn pursed her lips. "Do you want to keep her?"

"I don't know," Quinn rasped. She let her eyes drift to the boy next to her- the father of her baby. "Do you?"

Puck shrugged. "I love babies. Not sure if babies love me though."

Quinn looked down. "Did you- Did you love me?"

"Yes." he said without hesitation. That was a good sign. "Especially now."

They locked eyes and she bit her lip. "If we keep her it won't be easy, you know. We'll fight. One of us will have to get a job. We'll lose sleep and it's going to be hard."

"It hasn't been easy since you told me you were pregnant," Puck said.

Quinn tucked some hair behind her ear. "I want to keep her. I think... I think I can do this. Be a mother, you know? I already love that baby."

The baby squirmed in her blanket and Puck smiled. "Me too."

"So I guess that's it, then? We're doing this?"

The boy turned and smiled. "Guess so."

Quinn felt elated as she returned her gaze to her daughter. "Hey there, Beth Fabray- Puckerman."

"Hyphenated last name?"

The blonde nodded. "Well, it _is _the twenty-first century, Puck."

* * *

><p>It was the day after they'd said their goodbyes when Mr. Schue had announced that Glee would get another year. Everybody was ecstatic about the news, even Santana who'd claimed to hate it. And despite never getting to fix it with Jesse, Rachel had high hopes that he'd come knocking at her door any minute now... Okay, that was mainly because he'd called and texted her that he would do so. When her doorbell rang, she raced downstairs and swung the door open.<p>

_**If I sleep on the floor**_

_**Will it make you love me more?**_

"Hey." Rachel said, standing in the doorway. Although it was spring, the evening air felt a bit chilly and she'd wished she'd worn a sweater.

He nodded curtly. "I need you to answer something honestly."

She scrunched her eyebrows. Alright, he was getting straight to the point.

"Did you kiss Finn during Regionals?"

Rachel blinked and shook her head. "He kissed me..." her eyes widened. "You saw?"

Jesse nodded again. "I was on my way to talk to you actually when I was bombarded with Hudson macking on you."

She fought the urge to laugh at his use of words.

"I'm guessing you didn't see the part where I slapped him for doing so?" she looked up at him. "Or the part where I told him off?"

He shook his head. "I wish I had... It would've made a big difference in my mood and for my actions."

_**If I pack up my things and leave**_

"I'm so sorry." Rachel murmured repeatedly. "I was stupid."

Jesse closed his eyes. "There's nothing stupid about you. It's not like I was perfect. I made mistakes, too."

"Like?"

"I punched my father the day before Regionals."

"What? Why?" Rachel asked with concern.

He looked down. "There's only so much I can take from him, Rachel. He'd crossed the line and trust me, that punch was long overdue."

Rachel recalled the previous conversations they'd had concerning Jesse's family. They were harsh people and one of the reasons Rachel had felt such guilt for only causing Jesse more pain. He'd dealt with it his entire life and she saw herself as insensitive for ending it because of her selfishness of being insecure.

Rachel sighed because although there was a bit of distance between them, the spark was still there, urging them closer.

_**Can I still be the queen to your king?**_

"I'm sorry for being to harsh and breaking up with you." she swallowed, fighting tears. "I was just so scared and insecure and... And I'm sorry I broke your heart but you have to know that it wasn't simple for me, either."

His blue eyes gazed into her brown ones. "I know, Rachel. I get why you did it but... If we do this, you can't just runaway."

"I know..."

_**No, no, no, no.**_

_**No, no, no, no.**_

"It won't always be easy, Jesse." Rachel commented. "I can't change overnight."

He nodded once more. "I know that. But as long as you're with me I'm willing to go to hell and back if it means staying with you." he licked his lips. "And do you really think I changed overnight after I met you? Hell, it took weeks."

_**Know that you don't mean to say things**_

_**That hurt me and drive me to my knees**_

"And no matter the distance, we can do this, understand?" he reassured her.

She nodded.

_**Been around this crazy world**_

Jesse continued. "Because I'm just as new to this whole relationship thing as you are but there's one thing I'm certain of."

"What?"

"That I'm so desperately in love with you that I'd never be able to get over someone who's so right for me. I love you, Rachel and I'll do anything to prove that."

_**But I still want to be your girl.**_

She opened her mouth to speak but he held up a hand.

"Another question. Do you love me?"

_**'Cause there's no one like you, **_

_**no one like you, no one like you.**_

Rachel's eyes brightened as she wrapped her arms around his neck intimately. Oh, how she missed him.

"With everything I am, Jesse."

_**No one like you, **_

_**no one like you, no one like you.**_

He smiled, leaning his forehead against hers and breathing in her scent. He needed to commit this to memory if he was going to be in LA for a year.

"You have no idea what you do to me," he whispered. "You've changed me."

Rachel's heart leapt. "Well, you helped me find who I am, so thank you."

"Do you realize how over-dramatic we sound right now?" he chuckled.

She trailed her lips to his ear so she could whisper softly, "Well, how dramatic would it be if I said that I'm ready?"

His relaxed state froze before he pulled away to stare at her. "Wait, what?"

"Do I have to spell it out for you, Jesse?" there was a mischievous glint in her eyes and his lips curved up slightly. Rachel bit her lip, her small hands holding onto his jacket as she pulled him into her house, giggling the rest of the way until his lips found hers and she shut the door.

* * *

><p>Jesse's phone continued to buzz but it was useless. The contraption was in his jacket pocket and well, his jacket was currently on the floor... Downstairs while he and Rachel had retreated to her bedroom, too entranced in their reunion.<p>

The call went straight to voice-mail.

_"Jesse. It's your uncle. Look, I don't know where you are but there's- there's been an accident involving your parents... Grant and Anne are on their way here. When you get this message get to the hospital."_

* * *

><p><strong><em>The end. I can't believe this. Guys, this is amazing and I couldn't have done it without your support. Thanks a million to those who read and reviewed this story because it really warms my heart. After all, at the end of the day, I wrote this for you guys (and because RIB completely screwed us over with Jesse and Rachel's relationship). Come on, these two are my OTP. *Fangirling* Anyways, please tell me what you though of this final chapter and I can't wait to hear what you guys think of the sequel when it's posted!<em>**

_-Fanatic4Fiction_

_Song used for their make- up: No one like you by Best Coast. I love that song :D_

_If anyone wants to check out a promo for the sequel (it's a fan-video basically) here's the link for youtube: watch?v=E9EUw68weuc&feature= _


End file.
